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Master-Slave Relationship: How to Set the Rules and Follow Them

So, you’ve seen Fifty Shades of Grey and now, you’re curious how the whole master-slave relationship actually works. We don’t blame you, we’re curious too.

Master-Slave Relationship

If you’re thinking about going into a master-slave relationship, you first need to know what it is exactly. Like I said, Fifty Shades of Grey isn’t a bad start. Regardless, it’s a little more intense than portrayed.

What is the master-slave relationship?

So, before we tell you the must-knows of the master-slave relationship, let’s just freshen up on what it is. Basically, master-slave relationships are when one person in the relationship serves another. The slave obeys the instructions of the master, though, just to let you know, those values that the master has are consented to by the slave.

To make it sound easier, it’s two people where one person, the master, “owns” the other, the slave. Many people are shocked by master-slave relationships, but they’re completely consented and designed by both people in the relationship.

Essentials for a master-slave relationship

So, if you’re considering about entering a master-slave relationship, here are some things you need to know.

#1 Understand what you want. Before you just agree to be in master-slave relationship, know what you want from it. Think about what type of fantasy you want to be fulfilled, even better, write it down.

That way, when you try to find a partner, you’ll be able to show them what you want and see if they’re able to fulfill it. However, don’t expect your fantasy on paper to turn out 100% in real life. You should use your fantasy as a tool because nothing on paper ever turns out exact. That’s life. [Read: Sexual wish list: 16 naughty deeds to help build your list]

#2 Choose someone you trust. Don’t just pick up someone off the street. Master-slave relationships aren’t any different from any other relationship. At the end of the day, the structure of it may be different, but you still need to be with someone you trust.

For master-slave relationships, if you’re the slave, you need to find someone who respects your agreement and boundaries. So, take your time getting to know your partner before engaging in something more intense.

#3 Develop a vision together. So, your partner knows your vision, which is great. Now they have an idea of what you want. But this is a partnership, meaning you’ll have to take their needs into consideration.

So, sit down and put both your fantasies together, seeing what you both will and will not do. Whether you’re the master or slave, it’s your responsibility to communicate what you want from the relationship. [Read: The top 10 taboo sex topics we love but don’t talk about]

#4 Communication is a must. If you want this to work out for the both of you, you must communicate effectively. If your master tells you to clean the bedroom, what does clean mean for them? What do they expect?

You need to understand their expectations from you. Is there a position your master wants you to be in before sex? If so, what is it? Are you dressed or naked? So, as a master, sit down with your partner and explain to them why you want things a certain way. By explaining it to them, they’ll not only understand it, but they’ll remember why.

#5 Lead by example. If you want your slave to do something a certain way, the best way to show them is through teaching them and redirecting them when they’re wrong. If you want something done a specific way, you may show them how you’d like it done. You must give clear instructions when you’re showing them, your slave is only human. [Read: BDSM 101 – How to be a dominatrix in the bedroom]

#6 Reward your slave. Whether you’re a slave or master, you’re in it because it gives you pleasure or else you wouldn’t be doing it. To show your slave that they’re doing a good job, you need to reward and praise them. Let them know that they’re appreciated. You can give them compliments, physical gestures—whatever you feel is appropriate.

#7 Punish them when needed. Sometimes your slave needs to be punished. Punishment isn’t done for pleasure but rather a deterrent from specific behavior. When you punish, be fair and make sure it weighs the crime. You can do warnings if you’d like, and when you’re punishing them, make sure you’re explaining why. Then, after you’ve punished them, be done with it and move forward. [Read: 50 shades of dangerous sex: The right way to get risque]

#8 Do not make your slave fear you. You don’t want your slave to fear you. This is a relationship, you want your slave to be able to reply to you without hesitation.

#9 Slaves have no power. This relationship is based on a dominant and a submissive. Therefore, as a slave, there are a couple rules which are absolute for a slave. These are some of the core rules you must follow.

Firstly, you worship your master in every way. Secondly, you must always be ready to please your master. Thirdly, your head must be bowed down in the presence of your master. Lastly, you can never look in the eyes of your master without permission. [Read: Domestic discipline – A newbie’s guide to a sexy, spanky start]

#10 Create regular meetings. If you two want to have a pleasurable and flowing relationship, you’ll need to create regular meeting times outside of your master-slave domain. That way, you’ll both be able to share your feelings and concerns about your relationship.

If you’re not finding something pleasurable, then that’s the time you’ll be able to share it. Both of your needs should be met throughout the relationship. [Read: Would you write a love contract: 30 things we’d put in ours]

#11 Show off your slave. As a master, if you’re truly proud of your slave, then you shouldn’t hesitate in showing your slave off. This is possibly the highest form of praise for your slave. Praise your slave because they need to be rewarded, they’re human.

[Read: BDSM tips and tricks for curious first timers]

Now that you know the in’s and out’s of the master-slave relationship, you’ll have no problem creating a relationship which works for both of you.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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