We’ve all seen the movie where there’s a hot chick dressed in leather with a whip dangling in her hand. Yeah, she’s a dominatrix, and if men weren’t turned on, they wouldn’t be making films about it, right? Now that doesn’t mean you strap on a dildo and give it to him. But we all have a dominating side to us which you shouldn’t hide, instead learn how to dominate a man and leave him hot and bothered.
How to dominate a man the right way
Men are used to taking control and being the dominating person in relationships. Which is neither bad or good, it’s just the dynamics that sometimes occur in a relationship.
Now, if you’re the dominating one, you probably don’t need any more help in that area. Instead, you probably should let him take the reins once in a while. But if you’re the submissive one and curious about letting your dominance out, you’ll need some help.
I mean, you can wear leather if you want.
#1 Don’t force it. If your boyfriend is telling you that he’d like you to be dominant, but you hesitate on giving it a try, just relax. You don’t need to do it. If you feel like you’re being forced into doing this, and you have no actual desire to do it, then don’t. If you’re just scared, well, then that’s a different story. [Read: How to turn your man on: 20 ways to get him seriously hot]
#2 Know it’s all in the mind. If this is your first time being dominant, it’s something new. Of course, you’re going to be scared. But, you should know this is all in your mind. Being dominating, sure, is physical, but it’s more mental. You develop the confidence when you become more comfortable and relaxed in your position.
#3 Make sure you create boundaries. Before you go into this, you and your partner must sit down and discuss boundaries. What does he want done to him and what he doesn’t, what you want to do and what you don’t want to do. You two need to be on an equal playing field. Also, you should come up with a safe word. [Read: The big list of all the top male fantasies guys love]
#4 Get dominant in bed. You can try to be dominating in other aspects of your life. However, the easiest way to dominate a man without making him feel emasculated is in bed. Also, this will probably be the area where he’ll be open-minded about letting you take control.
#5 Be bossy. If you want to be dominating, you’re going to have to be bossy. Don’t ask him how he’s feeling or if he likes it—he’ll tell you. Your job is not to cater to him, but to cater to your own needs. You need to keep that in mind, it’s all about you.
#6 How does he want to dominated? There are a couple different ways you dominate a man: bondage, discipline, sadism. What your job is, is to find out what method he enjoys. It’ll take a couple times to figure out what you both prefer, so don’t stress if you try out sadism and it doesn’t work. [Read: 8 “facts” you think you know about BDSM debunked]
#7 Don’t be afraid to get rough. If you guys already discussed what the boundaries are and have agreed on a safe word, then you’re all good. Until he screams out the safe word, don’t be afraid to get rough and dirty. Bite him, lick him, pull his hair—take control and be exactly what you wanted to be, dominant.
#8 Make him beg. He deserves you when you say he does. Make him beg for your pussy. Is it mean? Nah, it’s all a part of playing the dominant one. Because he’s your submissive, you have complete control. So, make him sweat and work for your pussy. [Read: Master-slave relationships – How to set the rules and follow them]
#9 Dress the part. Now, you don’t have to, but it certainly ties the whole “dominatrix” scene nicely together if you wear something tight, sexy, and black. Oh, and don’t forget the heels. Or you could wear nothing at all, it’s up to you. But, if you dress the part that’ll only turn him on even more.
#10 Have him worship you. If you want to truly dominate him, make him worship you. You are the queen and at this moment, he does what you say. You actually make him do non-sexual activities like cook you dinner or give you a back massage. In return, you reward him however you wish. [Read: How to be dominant: 15 calm and firm ways to be the real alpha]
#11 Touch yourself in front of him. But don’t allow him to touch you. He only watches you. You can also prohibit him from touching himself. He just has to sit and take it. If he doesn’t do what he’s told, you’ll spank him or tie him up.
#12 Know his fantasies. What’s his biggest fantasy? Does he want to be spanked? Whipped? Fucked in the ass? What is his ultimate turn-on? You can use his fantasies and fetishes to turn him on. You can also make him do things to you if he wants his fantasies fulfilled. See how this works? [Read: What is pegging? All the backdoor facts to get you started]
#13 Tie him up. The ultimate way to lose control and give it into the hands of someone else is to be tied up. Where is he going to go? What is he going to do? Exactly, nothing. He’s literally at your mercy. You can ride him and he won’t be able to touch or grab you—it’ll drive him nuts. [Read: Eyes-closed sex to eyes wide open: 16 sexy ways to open them up]
#14 Do this with someone you trust. You want to be able to be relaxed and comfortable while doing this, so, make sure you’re doing this with someone you trust. Since it’s new and you’re learning the ropes, there are going to be awkward moments which you’ll want to be able to laugh at with your partner.
[Read: BDSM 101: How to be the dominatrix in the bedroom]
Now you know how to dominate a man, the best way to bring out your dominant side is to give it a try! Make sure you try this with someone you trust and can laugh with.
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