If you think creative insults are a relatively modern invention, try visiting an ancient Roman ruin. You’ll be surprised at what some of the graffiti there has to say about Lucius’ poor mother.
Insults go way back. Most of these usually involve rude comments toward certain female relatives and anatomical parts of the insulted. As you see, little has changed with insults from back then, like our “Yo’ Momma” quips which are getting a little too old.
To stay ahead of the conflict-escalating banter, fire wittier, and more creative comebacks sure to bring on the hurt. Good thing the English language provides.
Warning: You should not use the words and phrases listed below in polite conversation. [Read: 10 ways to avoid being rude in any situation]
I never want to encourage rudeness, pettiness, or disrespect, but sometimes a creative insult here or there is necessary. Whether it is for the sake of banter, a true argument, or jokes, being unique with your taunts raises the bar.
You don’t just want to put the other person down. You want to show your cleverness too. Instead of things like, “I’m rubber. You’re glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you,” try something with a bit more shock factor.
Go with sarcasm, go with things that are almost over the top, they are so ridiculous, or just be smart. Using creative insults is the best way to poke fun. Just try to keep these little jabs above the belt, if you know what I mean. [Read: How to deal with rude people]
Because dropping “stupid” or “idiot” is way too bland. Plus, that sort of insult doesn’t make you seem any more bright. Here are some longer versions of “you’re dumb” to call someone with perceived inferior mental capacity.
Not only does it rhyme, but it also means you’ve got an empty space somewhere between the ears enough to gain buoyancy.
A meta-insult is implying the insultee’s incapacity to understand insults.
This can be used in place of “We don’t accept resumes written in crayon.”
Okay, making fun of incest might be a little juvenile, but it is clever.
Good luck getting them to understand this.
This creative insult is just stating a fact.
[Read: 12 types of humor and how it affects the people around you]
Probably the oldest inspiration for insults is to poke fun at the other person’s unfortunate physical appearance. But, the best time to use a creative insult for someone’s looks is when they aren’t actually unfortunate looking.
Make fun of things that won’t really hurt them but shock them or make them laugh. It is a much better way to insult someone than being cruel.
A regular insult to someone’s appearance would be telling them to wear a sack over their head. This goes even deeper.
This is harsh but is a creative insult nonetheless.
This is a burn if I’ve ever heard one.
Saying they are so ugly that their face prevents them from getting pregnant or impregnating someone is pure gold when it comes to creative insults.
This is just straight-up clever. Religious or not, this hits on your intelligence and their gnarly looks.
Ouch! This can be truly mean if they did put effort into their appearance today, but hey, you wanted some creative insults.
[Read: Smartass quotes: 48 smart and sarcastic lines that kick ass]
Sometimes keeping your insults PG-13 just isn’t a possibility. These are meant for people whose existence gives you the urge to commit homicide or at least get really creatively foul-mouthed.
This is super harsh. You may want to step away after blurting this out just in case they get violent.
I’m not a fan of this word, but using it sure does get the point across, doesn’t it?
This takes creative insults to a whole new gross level.
This is a little barbaric, but hey, if that’s how you really feel…
Another visual we may not need, but if you really hate this person, go for it.
[Read: 13 grownup ways to deal with mean people]
If you can’t make up your own, it won’t hurt to borrow from fiction. TV and movies are chock full of creative insults. They are just asking you to quote them.
[Read: How to recognize mean people and deal with them]
[Read: 101 awesomely good comebacks for every occasion]
[Read: Backhanded compliment: How to react kindly or give back in kind]
Creative insults can be funny and, at times, worthy of admiration. Of course, as long as the insult isn’t for you. Use it wisely.
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