I grew up reading about best friends in novels and watching them on TV – no matter what crazy events happened, they would always have each other’s backs, and no fight was ever too big to be resolved.
As a result, I found that I expected a lot from every single one of my friendships – I’d want each of my friends to be there for me all the time, to want to do things with me no matter what, and to invest as much as possible into our friendship.
Unsurprisingly, a lot of these friendships either ended or changed significantly as we grew and changed.
I think that what we see in TV and the media, these portrayals of ‘kindred spirits’ and ‘best friends forever’ can be harmful to real life friendships.
After all, real people don’t have script-writers working to give us the right things to say all the time, and real life doesn’t have the implicit guarantee that things will work out by the end of the show.
The 8 kinds of friends all of us need in our life
What I have learned is that even though I may never find a single person who will be able to fill every hope I have for a friendship, there are so many friends who are perfect at filling one of those roles.
In life, you don’t need just one friend to fill all the requirements of a friendship. In fact, it would be farfetched and even ridiculous if you expect all your expectations to be granted by just one best friend.
So the next best thing you can hope for, is to fill your life with several friends, who can all give you the fulfillment of experiencing the best times and memories of friendship without ever feeling like you’re lacking the picture perfect life of the television shows! [Read: 18 insightful reasons why you’re having a hard time making the right friends]
Here are 8 friends that you definitely need in your life, because together, they can make your life feel just as meaningful and memorable as any perfect friendship can ever make you feel.
#1 The friend who always asks the right questions
This friend knows what you believe in – they know what you stand for. When you’re talking to them about a decision you need to make, or a dream that you’re trying to follow, they know exactly what to ask you.
Their questions help you think about how you are going to follow through on your dreams, and may make you reevaluate where your priorities are. This friend is full of wisdom, and you know that they only have your best interests in mind. She is the perfect person to go to when you are struggling with a big question or a big dream, and your conversations have been known to go for hours without getting stale.
#2 The friend who doesn’t ask any questions
There are times when you don’t want to explain what you are doing or why you’re doing it to anyone, much less someone who might try and stop you. This friend is always up for a crazy adventure or a wild night out, and you know that he won’t think twice about any of the choices you are making.
The two of you have some of the craziest memories – and sure, in hindsight, maybe they weren’t the smartest ideas. But they sure were fun, and the memories are worth it!
#3 The friend who is always up for an adventure
Whether it’s a road trip across the country or a trip to the grocery store, this friend has the ability to make anything an adventure. She always has a new plan for something fun to do, and refuses to be bored by even the most mundane of tasks.
Some of your favorite memories in your friendship involve driving off into the sunset without being entirely sure of where you are going, or driving an extra fifteen minutes out of your way just to stick your toes into the water at a nearby beach. [Read: 13 happy things you need for a really happy life!]
#4 The friend who just wants to hang out
Adventures may be fun, but some days were just made for Netflix and homemade cookies. This friend thinks that a perfect day is just hanging out – maybe as the two of you, maybe as a group – and talking, watching a movie, or playing video games.
It doesn’t matter to them what you do, as long as you’re doing it together. This friend is the best to have around for lazy afternoons or cold winter nights – you don’t have to put any effort into how you look or dress, but you are guaranteed a fun time full of inside jokes and comfort food.
#5 The friend who knows you better than anyone else
This kind of friendship is truly precious. The two of you have known each other for years and years, and it has gotten to the point where when you go to tell a story, your friend fills in all the details you’ve missed!
You have your favorite routines and topics of discussion, and they are the person you text throughout the day *just to keep them up-to-date*. Sometimes, they remember things about you that you’ve forgotten and vice-versa. Instead of your friendship feeling boring, it feels comfortable – the old memories you share make the new ones you’re making even richer. [Read: 5 unique traits that make you trustworthy and dependable]
#6 The friend you’ve just met
There is nothing better than a new friendship – while it can be tricky getting to know new people, it’s also so much fun when you immediately click with someone like a jigsaw puzzle! All of your stories are new, and getting to know them introduces you to a whole new world – maybe you now go to her yoga class, or tried a new tv show or book because of his recommendation.
New inside jokes are made faster than you can keep track of them, and you can’t wait to introduce each other to your other friends. [Read: The complete guide to making new friends who are perfect for you!]
#7 The friend with all the stories
This friend leads a crazy life – or so she makes you think! Everything that happens to her is a new chance for a story – sure, sometimes you suspect they might not be entirely truthful, but they are hilarious! She is full of punch-lines and sometimes interrupts one story she’s telling because she’s just thought of another!
It can be hard to get a word in edge-wise, but often you don’t want to so that you don’t miss what she is about to say next! There’s no better companion for a shopping trip or dinner out – even dull activities like grocery shopping are better when you have someone telling you all the latest gossip as you walk the aisles.
#8 The friend who’s content to listen
Sometimes you need nothing else besides a listening ear. Whether you’ve just been dumped, just received a promotion, or found out something scandalous about a mutual acquaintance, this friend is always ready to listen.
He lets you rant until you’ve exhausted yourself before even thinking to raise a question. This friend is always there for you, and you know that they will have your back even if they don’t completely agree with your interpretation of the situation. Sometimes you need someone who will just listen and not judge you *even in your worst moments*, and this person is always who you go to for that.
Many friends CAN create a beautiful friendship
As you can see, it’s probably a good thing that one person doesn’t try to fill all of these roles – although if you are lucky enough to have a friendship like that, you need to treasure it above all else!
After all, several of the things we want from our friends are actually contradictory – can the same friend who asks you the hard questions about a decision be the same friend who will go out and make ridiculous decisions with you?
[Read: 12 steps that can change your life and bring happiness instantly]
Do you have these 8 best kinds of friends in your life? Send them a text and let them know how appreciated they are. Whether you see them once a week or once a year, these friendships are what keep us sane, keep us safe, and give us the best memories life can offer!
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