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24 Honest Ways to Make Up with a Friend If You Don’t Want to Lose Them

No one likes fighting with a friend, especially your best friend. Here are the best ways to make up after an argument if you don’t want to lose them.

how to make up with a friend

Fighting with friends is normal. No matter how long you’ve known a person, at one point, you’re going to disagree with them or upset them. But sometimes, a fight can be pretty ugly, so ugly that you almost want to give up and say goodbye to your friend.

It’s so easy to make decisions in a heated moment that you’ll probably regret for the rest of your life. Do you really want to go back to being strangers with someone who knows all of your secrets?

Think about all the times you laughed and cried together. All the nights you stayed up to talk to them. Are you willing to throw it all away?

[Read: Fake friends: 42 signs & ways to tell them apart from real friends who care]

Admitting that you’re wrong and apologizing to someone is hard, but losing a friend is harder. But guess what? Sometimes, such fights will help you and your friend come back stronger together. It takes moments like that to strengthen your bond and realize your relationship is worth fighting for.

[Read: How to be a good friend and hone your friendship skills]

Why fighting with a friend is normal

The closer you are to the person, the more likely you’ll fight. That’s why you fight with your best friend more than anyone else. A friendship requires some tough love and growth through rough patches in order to improve.

With your friend, you can be brutally honest with them. You’re so comfortable with them that sometimes you accidentally give them a genuine opinion or comment that hurts their feelings, and vice versa. But this is usually because your friend loves you too much to lie to you. They think you deserve to know the truth, and you probably think the same when you’re in that position.

Also, since you’re friends, it’s very likely that you have a lot in common. And when two people are so much alike, it’s easy to notice their flaws. You’ll see things that you don’t like in yourself, and that’s how the fighting starts. If you’re both headstrong, the fight will probably last even longer.

[Read: 25 ex best friend quotes to deal with outgrowing or ending a friendship]

Another reason is that you spend so much time with your friend that you cannot avoid conflict. Especially if they’re the one you go to when you’re in a bad mood. Most of the time, they’re an amazing advice giver. But they can also have bad days, and your mood can negatively affect theirs even more.

Jealousy can also be the cause. But don’t beat yourself up for it. You cannot control how you feel, and if you can get jealous with your siblings, friends aren’t exceptions.

It’s normal to fight with your friend as long as you realize your relationship means a lot more than a little conflict. There’s no problem that cannot be solved if you care enough to make an effort.

[Read: When your best friend ignores you suddenly: the whys & ways to fix it]

How to make up with a friend

If you had a fight with your friend, don’t throw the towel in just yet. You can recover, but it will take time and a lot of communication on both ends. If you’re ready to make up with a friend, it’s about time you read this. Hopefully, it’ll put you on the path to reconciliation.

If you don’t want to lose them, it’s time to learn how to make up with a friend.

[Read: Losing a friend: 30 ways to face the pain of best friends drifting away]

1. Ensure you’re emotionally ready to make up

It doesn’t matter what the fight was about, but if it was intense, you are probably all wound up. It’s hard to reconcile when there’s heavy emotion between you. So, before you try to make up with your friend, cool down. You may need to take a day or two before you decide to talk to them, and honestly, that’s for the better.

[Read: How to make lifelong friend and create a bond that lasts a lifetime]

2. Is this the best time to reach out?

Ask yourself this question before contacting them. Are you ready to make up with your friend? Is this the best time for that? If they did something to you, reconciling may not happen as soon as you’d like.

You need to be truly ready to resolve the conflict at hand.

3. Identify the reason you’re reaching out

Before talking to them, maybe list out all the reasons you want to reach out. Did you do something to hurt them? Or was it all their fault?

There’s nothing wrong with taking a step back to be the first to apologize. But that’s only when you were in the wrong, or the problem wasn’t that big of a deal. If your friend was the one who started drama and was constantly toxic to you, you can’t always be the first to reach out.

Make sure they are just as invested in the friendship as you are, and they deserve the effort you’re willing to put out.

[Read: The guy best friend – Is he good or nothing but trouble for a girl?]

4. Write down what you did wrong

Writing down what you did wrong in the relationship will help you clarify your feelings. This way, you won’t make a mistake and say the wrong thing.

5. Get ready to say sorry

If you’re not the type that can say sorry easily, there’s nothing wrong with practicing what you’re going to say first. Think it over many times and try to make it as sincere as possible.

Remember that an apology means nothing if you’re just saying it to get it over with. You need to be genuine, willing to change and do better after.

6. Talk to them in person

Avoid texting your apology, because your friend cannot see your true emotions through a text. Besides, it’s always more genuine to apologize to someone in person.

However, sometimes you physically cannot see them *if you’re in another country, for example*, that’s when you should give them a call, because your voice will translate your emotions a lot better.

If you can meet up with them, do it. Face-to-face is the best way to resolve an argument. [Read: Don’t let these bad friendship skills push people away]

7. Make the choice to talk about it

If you never want to talk to them again, that’s your decision. But not everyone can cut their friends out of their lives without talking first. If you want to talk about the issue with them, be prepared for the chance that the problem will not be resolved.

8. Don’t force them to apologize if they don’t want to

You cannot be sorry for yourself on their behalf. It’s not your decision to make. If they don’t want to apologize to you, forcing them to say it will only worsen your relationship. They need to figure it out on their own and apologize on their own terms.

9. Prioritize yourself

Do this for yourself. Do you really want to fix this? Take some time to think it over. Because a lot of us are used to thinking for others that we forget our feelings are valid, too.

There’s no point in keeping a relationship if it’s one-sided or toxic. You’ll find better friends who will value your feelings.

10. Let them know you’re willing to talk things through

If they’re not ready for a conversation yet, make sure to let them know you’re ready to fix things. If you stay silent and let them think you’re okay with you two not being friends anymore, they might walk away for good. Miscommunication is what tears most relationships apart.

11. Leave your excuses at the door

There’s always a reason why we said this or that, but the point is it was said and done. Don’t try to make up with a friend carrying a long list of excuses with you for protection.

Admit the things you did were wrong, apologize *if you mean it*, and move on. No one wants to hear your excuses and vice versa.

12. You can forgive and forget

Not everyone wants to bring up an issue that hurt them, and that’s okay. Even though you should talk about the problem with them, you don’t need to. But remember, if you choose to forget, move on from it. You can’t bring it up five years later because you’re not over it.

[Read: How to get your best friend back after a lot of misunderstanding]

13. Say sorry if you mean it

If you’re not sorry, don’t apologize to your friend. They know you well enough to know when you’re full of crap. If you are sorry, then tell them. If you’re not sorry, don’t give a fake apology, it’ll hurt only them more.

[Read: How to apologize for ghosting a friend & repair the friendship]

14. Look from their perspective

It’s a hard thing to do when you’re mad at someone, but it must be done. You won’t be able to resolve the conflict unless you look at the problem from their point of view. This can solve misunderstandings and help you understand their actions better.

15. Give them space and time to reflect

No one wants to drag a fight on, but sometimes people need time to cool down and reflect on their actions. Don’t push to resolve the conflict if they’re not ready. Give them space and some time. They need to sort out their feelings as well. [Read: How to give someone space without losing them]

16. Take care of yourself

When you have a fight with your friend, it takes an emotional toll on you. While you work on fixing the relationship, take care of yourself. Practice self-care during these stressful times, so you don’t get too far deep into the conflict. Whether it’s meditating, working out, or seeing a therapist: heal yourself.

[Read: 11 honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy and look to the future]

17. Fix the friendship through actions

Actions speak louder than words. So the best way to show your friend that you’re sorry is show them through actions. Do something special with them or for them, something you know they’ll enjoy. You can get them a ticket to their favorite movie or musical, buy them flowers or a book, or take them on a picnic.

Let them know that you’re willing to put it all behind you because they mean more to you than some stupid misunderstandings.

[Read: 25 questions to ask your guy best friend instead of your girl BFF]

18. Take a break

Don’t let the fight take over your life. Take a break from the mental and emotional weight by doing things you enjoy. Go swimming, watch a movie, and hang out with other friends. Try to give yourself some distraction time. 

[Read: 30 signs of low self-esteem in a woman that reveal a need for self-love]

19. Write your feelings down

It’s easy for us to skew the situation in our minds and make up sentences or scenes that didn’t actually happen *you can thank the human brain for that*. So if you can’t afford therapy, write down what happened. It’s also good for emotional release, so you knock two birds with one stone. 

[Read: How to write a heartfelt, touching goodbye letter & make someone cry]

20. Take outside judgment lightly

Your other friends and family are going to give you loads of advice, but you don’t need to listen to everyone. If you want to know how to make up with a friend, don’t let the opinions of other people cloud your emotions and opinions of the situation. 

[Read: How to be yourself: 26 steps to unfake your life & love being you]

21. Tell them how much they mean to you

Catch up with your friend, even if it’s just asking how they’re doing. Not every one of us is good with showing affection through words.

But it’s important that you sometimes remind them how much they mean to you. Only you know why you love your friend, and they need to know why your friendship is worth fighting for. [Read: How to be a good person – 12 small changes to transform your life] 

22. Celebrate the friendship

If you made up, then you should do something fun together. Grab dinner, go out dancing, or for a walk. What’s important is after the fight, you celebrate the friendship and move on.

[Read: How to be a good friend by following the BFF code]

23. Accept that your friendship may not be the same after

This may not be what you want to hear, but it’s true in most cases. You must accept that even when you’ve resolved your conflict, your friendship might have changed forever.

There’s no going back from there, only going forward. That’s what you and your friend are going to do.

[Read: 8 small ways to deal with big changes in your life]

24. Be a better friend

Now that they’ve forgiven you for what you did. You need to become a better friend. It doesn’t mean you were a bad friend in the past. You’re just not flawless and can always improve.

This means no repeating the same mistakes and hurting them over the same things. If you’ve made promises, keep them. They tell you a secret, take it to the grave. Make time for them and check up on them regularly.

A friendship, just like any other relationship, also requires mutual respect, attention, and effort. And remember that they must meet you halfway, because you cannot do this alone.

[Read: Clingy friend – What makes them & 22 easy ways to fix the friendship]

No one wants to be in a fight with their friends. But you can learn how to make up with a friend and move forward with the relationship. Just follow these tips and good luck.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...