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How to Be Heartless: But It Never Gets You What You Want

Behaviors that signal to other people that you mean nothing to them is all about how to be heartless. These 17 tips will help you achieve heartlessness.

how to be heartless

I used to love that song by Kanye West, Heartless. To me, that was the epitome of being used, abused, and left behind. It has always been a mystery how someone can be heartless, truly, never feeling for someone. If you want to learn how to be heartless, learn the art of selfishness and caring about only yourself.

In essence, you have to lose your sense of empathy. When it comes to a relationship, that is the hardest thing to do. Not many of us can just stop caring about someone, especially someone we love.

If you truly want to be heartless, you have to adopt these thoughts and behaviors

Someone who is heartless is missing a key ingredient in their personality. They lack something called empathy. It isn’t that they don’t have a heart, it is that they literally don’t have the ability to feel for someone else. Like the Grinch stealing Christmas gifts, their hearts are ten sizes too small, but only figuratively.

So, if you want to be heartless, simply do these 17 steps.

#1 I don’t care if you cry. Who can sit in front of another human being and watch them cry and not feel sorry for them. Or have the itch to step in and help? Heartless people don’t care if you are sobbing silently or in an all-out bawl, your tears won’t be wasted on them. [Read: When a woman is crying: The gentleman’s dos and don’ts]

#2 I will leave you if it doesn’t benefit me. Heartless people feel no loyalty or connection to those around them or that they are in a relationship with. If you fail to serve their purpose, which is giving them something, providing them a service, or taking care of their needs, then you are so yesterday.

#3 What is yours is mine, what is mine is mine. At the heart of any heartless person is selfishness. They have no interest in sharing and bleed you dry if they can before they would put out a cent of their own money for, or on, you. [Read: Selfishness in relationships: 15 tips to do the right thing]

#4 If it doesn’t work, there are other fish in the sea. To someone who is heartless, a love interest is just one in a million. There is nothing special that you possess, because you can’t grab hold of their heart strings, they don’t have any.

#5 You are nothing but a means to my ends. People are nothing but objects to heartless people. Everyone in their life serves a specific purpose and is a vector to getting what they want. The only time they are nice is when they want something from you. Once you are all used up, they couldn’t be bothered looking down at your body lying in the gutter.

#6 If something bad happened to you, I wouldn’t care. Even if you are upset with someone, or done with them, if they call and they need you, the empathy most people carry would be enough to help in a pinch. At a minimum, a normal person calls the proper authorities to help out. If you call a heartless person when in trouble, you better get running, because there ain’t no one coming to help! [Read: Toxic people: 25 early warning signs to look out for]

#7 I would have no problem telling everyone around me your biggest insecurities and deepest secrets. There is no such thing as keeping a secret or making a promise to those around a heartless person.

If you make a heartless person angry, they have no problem retaliating in every way possible. Calling friends, family, or anyone else who will listen, even to the lengths of posting things on social media sites to take you down and destroy you to the point of no return, is the mission.

#8 Cheating is not a problem. If someone is prettier or has something better to give—cheating isn’t really cheating, because the heartless person never really makes a commitment to you. They may say that you are their one and only, but they have no ability to follow through or to love you, so cheating doesn’t even exist.

#9 There are no boundaries about what I will say to your face. If you get in a fight with someone who is heartless, there is nothing that is out of bounds. Knowing your every weakness or insecurity, they call you out, call you names, and rip your heart out with the most callous words anyone has ever said to you. [Read: Boundaries in dating: How far is too far]

#11 If you were on your last dime I would totally take it. People who are heartless don’t think about the emotions or concerns of others. If you were literally on your last dime, they would have no problem borrowing it and not returning it. The worst part? They probably have a twenty-dollar bill in their pocket. People who are heartless don’t care about anyone’s needs but their own.

#12 You want honesty? I will give you honesty. You know when you ask if you look fat in these jeans or ask, “Baby, would you love me if I was poor?” Someone without a heart would answer yes, and then no, in that order. Heartless people don’t care about how you feel, so honesty is what you get.

There is no consideration of the Thumper rule about if you can’t say anything nice. Niceness isn’t in their vocabulary.

#13 I don’t care who is listening. There are things you discuss in public and then those you hold for private conversations. Heartless people don’t care about the sensitive nature of what you have to discuss or who is listening. They have something to say to you, who cares how embarrassing it may be. “Hey… I am just saying…” is one of their favorite phrases.

#14 I will put you down to make myself look big. Bullies are heartless people, and the way a bully feels good about themselves is by making everyone else little by belittling them. A heartless person uses you as a punching bag and isn’t afraid to make you the butt of their jokes at all costs. They have to look good, you know? [Read: How to quickly spot narcissistic traits in a relationship]

#15 Whatever you want, I want.  Heartless people don’t put too much stake in things no one wants. What they want is what you want, and they have no problem stealing it from you and then flaunting it in front of your face.

 #16 Sure I’ll rub it in. You know when you see someone who has had a bad day and you just  know that the last thing they need is a kick when they are down, so you skirt around the issue? People who are heartless, take that opportunity to rub it in, make you feel worse, kick you as low down as you can possibly go, and don’t think twice about it.

Back to the tears… even if they drive you to tears, and a sign to say “enough,” that is when they go in for the kill.

#17 I’m a really bitter and unhappy person. This is one of the biggest downsides of being heartless. At the heart of someone who acts as if they don’t have a heart is bitterness and anger.

Not many of us have the ability to be heartless. It is a specific skill that takes a special type of human being. If you are tired of being Mr. or Ms. Nice and think it is time to try your hand at being the one who comes out on top, you may be considering trying these tactics. The problem is that you aren’t heartless. If you were, you wouldn’t be reading about how to be.

If you think you can hurt a heartless person by using these suggestions, you can’t. They probably won’t even recognize it because they’re so messed up already.

In fact, you will walk away feeling bad about yourself and get the exact opposite effect you were hoping for. You can give it a go, but my suggestion is that if someone in your life is treating you heartlessly, then you should let them go instead of going down a path that just isn’t you.

[Read: The art of not giving a shit: How to not care in 15 steps]

Heartless people are very unhappy people, literally missing the thing that makes us live, love, laugh, and enjoy life. Why would you want to give the best parts of you away by being someone you aren’t?

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Bethany Locke
Bethany was born and raised in Scotland and now resides in Brighton where she lives with her partner and rather disobedient cocker spaniel pup. And in her spare...
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