Do you feel deprived of human contact? Skin hunger can explain your longing for physical touch. Here’s what to know and ways to relieve your skin hunger.
Do you remember that time when you went for a hug, and they went for a handshake, and you ended up in an awkward dance of misunderstood social cues? Or that time when a high-five left you hanging, creating a cringe-worthy moment that still haunts your 2 a.m. thoughts? Ah, good times! Or maybe not so good, but definitely memorable, right?
Now, imagine if you could never experience those awkward moments again. No more hugs, high-fives, or shoulder pats. Sounds relaxing? Or does it make you feel a tad bit… touch starved?
If it’s the latter, well, you might be experiencing what psychologists call ‘skin hunger.’ Yes, that’s right, your skin can feel hungry, but not the way your tummy does! [Read: Types of touches – the 36 physical touches we use & what they mean]
The concept of skin hunger
Skin hunger, or touch deprivation, is the yearning for human contact, the desire for the warmth of an embrace, the comfort of a pat on the back, or the simple joy of a high five. It’s a feeling that leaves you hungry for touch.
And in our digital world, despite being ‘connected’ 24/7, we’re ironically more starved of genuine human contact than ever. The ‘seen’ on your message might be instant, but no amount of emojis can replicate the warmth of a loved one’s hug, can they?
What is skin hunger? More than just feeling touchy
In the realm of psychology, ‘skin hunger’ or ‘touch deprivation’ is recognized as a profound longing for physical contact with another being. [Read: How to not feel lonely – 30 ways to chase the lonely blues away]
No, it doesn’t imply wanting to touch the marshmallows at a candy store or the urge to feel the velvety petals of a rose *although that’s quite nice too!*.
Rather, it speaks to our intrinsic desire for human touch – from a handshake to a bear hug – which has profound impacts on our psychological well-being.
Harry Harlow’s experiment and the power of physical contact
Ever heard of Harry Harlow? No, he’s not the next pop sensation. But he is a big name – in the world of psychology, at least. Harlow conducted a fascinating *albeit heart-wrenching* experiment with baby rhesus monkeys in the 1950s.
Given the choice between a wire ‘mother’ providing food and a cloth ‘mother’ providing no food but just touch, the monkeys chose the latter! The need for comfort trumped the need for sustenance. While it’s no excuse to skip your next meal for a hug, it does underline the power of touch.
Taking the baton from Harlow, psychologists Bowlby and Ainsworth proposed the attachment theory, which highlights the importance of physical affection in forming strong emotional bonds.
Remember your childhood friend, the one you always high-fived after a minor accomplishment? According to Bowlby and Ainsworth, such physical interactions help us develop secure attachments, fostering trust, and safety. So, those high-fives were more than just celebrating the successful construction of a sand castle!
To top it all off, let’s get a bit biochemical. Our bodies produce a hormone called oxytocin, often dubbed as the ‘cuddle hormone.’ This hormone floods our system when we hug or touch someone we care about. [Read: 25 types of hugs & subtle secrets to tell if it’s a friendly, flirty, or romantic one]
It plays a crucial role in social bonding, reducing stress, and creating feelings of contentment and trust. So, it’s not just your emotions getting all warm and fuzzy when you cuddle with your loved ones, but also your hormones having a party!
The skin hunger epidemic and why we’re starving for a high five
First off, you’re not alone if you’ve been craving a bit more human contact lately. In fact, surveys have found that many people are dealing with skin hunger.
A 2018 study, for example, found that nearly half of Americans reported feeling lonely, and one might infer that a significant number also crave physical touch.
Now, you might think, ‘Hey, I’m connected to my friends on social media! How can I be touch-deprived?’ Well, while social media keeps us connected, it doesn’t quite hit the spot like a real-life high-five or hug would.
As per research, digital communication doesn’t fulfill our innate need for physical contact. It’s like having a picture of a delicious pizza on your fridge – it’s not going to satisfy your hunger, is it?
Speaking of recent times, the Covid-19 pandemic really threw a wrench in our social lives, didn’t it? We were all suddenly thrust into an era of social distancing and isolation, which has undoubtedly amped up feelings of skin hunger. Studies have shown an increase in feelings of loneliness and a longing for touch during this period. It’s as if we all suddenly found ourselves on a touch diet nobody signed up for!
Craving a cuddle? The signs you might be suffering from skin hunger
Skin hunger, being a nuanced psychological condition, can manifest itself in many different ways. Let’s explore a few of the biggest signs.
1. Increased loneliness and feelings of isolation
Remember that feeling when you’re stuck at a party where you don’t know anyone, and you feel completely alone, even though you’re surrounded by people?
Well, skin hunger can make you feel like that – lonely and isolated. A lack of physical touch can amplify feelings of loneliness, even when you’re not physically alone. [Read: Do you want a partner or are you just feeling more lonely?]
2. Heightened anxiety and stress levels
Ever felt a rush of calm wash over you when someone gives you a comforting pat on the back during a stressful time? That’s because touch can lower stress levels.
A 2012 study by Morhenn et al. found that human touch reduces the physiological responses to stress. If you’re suffering from skin hunger, you may experience heightened stress and anxiety levels as that calming touch is missing.
3. Depressive symptoms
Depression is a complex issue with many contributing factors, and believe it or not, lack of physical touch is one of them.
Researchers, like Field (2010), have found links between touch deprivation and depressive symptoms. So if you’ve been feeling a bit blue and can’t quite put your finger on why, it could be skin hunger.
4. Poor sleep quality
Can’t seem to catch those Z’s no matter how many sheep you count? Well, touch deprivation might be to blame.
A 2017 study by Jakubiak and Feeney found that physical touch can improve sleep quality. Therefore, you might be tossing and turning at night because you’re not getting enough touch during the day.
5. Lower overall wellbeing
Touch has a profound impact on our overall well-being. Lack of touch can lead to a lower sense of well-being.
If you’ve been feeling generally ‘meh’ and just not yourself, it might be due to a lack of physical contact. [Read: 52 happy habits and ways to find happiness within yourself & feel better]
6. Compulsive touch behavior
Ever found yourself compulsively touching soft blankets, petting animals, or even self-touch like twirling your hair?
This could be a way of self-soothing due to the lack of human touch. Field’s 2010 study suggests that people may seek to fulfill their skin hunger through these alternative forms of touch.
7. Increase in aggressive behavior
Can’t seem to keep your cool lately? A sudden increase in aggressive behavior might be a sign of skin hunger.
In another study by T. Field, it was found that touch deprivation can lead to an increase in aggressive behavior.
8. Cravings for comfort food
Noticed that you’ve been reaching for comfort food more often? Believe it or not, this could be a sign of skin hunger.
When our need for physical comfort isn’t met, we often turn to other forms of comfort, like food. [Read: Aphrodisiacs and food hell – a lover’s guide to eating well]
9. Excessive use of social media
If you’ve been spending more time on social media, it may be an attempt to make up for the lack of physical interaction.
A 2017 study by Primack et al. suggested that higher social media use could be linked to increased feelings of social isolation, which could be related to skin hunger.
10. Longing for physical closeness
An intense longing for physical closeness, more than just casual contact, may be a sign of skin hunger.
We all crave a warm hug or a comforting hand on our shoulder from time to time, but if this desire feels more intense and persistent, it could be a sign that you’re experiencing skin hunger.
11. Feeling touch-sensitive or hypersensitive
If you’re starving for touch, even a casual brush can send your senses into overdrive. Some people may become hypersensitive to touch, where every touch feels magnified, due to the dearth of regular physical contact.
This overreaction is the body’s way of responding to the unusual occurrence, shouting ‘Hey, something’s touching me, and it’s not my clothes!’ So if you’ve been reacting like a meerkat on alert at the slightest touch, this could be why.
12. Difficulty in forming emotional connections
Skin hunger can also make it challenging for individuals to form deep emotional connections. Numerous studies, including research by psychologist Sidney Jourard, have revealed that physical touch can help foster emotional intimacy.
So, if you’ve been feeling like an actor forgetting your lines in the big emotional scenes of your relationships, it might be due to a lack of physical interaction. [Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 32 signs you are & the fastest ways to fix it]
13. Neglecting self-care
Physical touch, even self-touch, can contribute to a better body image and improved self-care. Lack of it can often lead to neglecting self-care routines.
Forgetting to pamper yourself or ignoring your personal grooming could be a sign of skin hunger. [Read: 28 self-improvement secrets to improve yourself & transform into your best self]
14. Dissatisfaction with life
This might sound like a huge leap, but skin hunger can lead to general dissatisfaction with life. Touch deprivation can lead to feelings of alienation and disconnection, contributing to a sense of dissatisfaction with life overall, as per research by Gallace & Spence in 2010.
The signs of skin hunger can be as varied as the people experiencing it. The important thing is to recognize it for what it is and seek ways to satisfy this basic human need.
And remember, it’s completely normal to crave physical touch. After all, we’re only human.
The impact of skin hunger when you’re starving for a pat on the back
Imagine being at a fantastic party, but no one talks to you. How would that make you feel? Quite lonely, right?
That’s a bit like what your skin feels when it’s starved of touch – it feels isolated, leading to a heightened sense of loneliness. And the party doesn’t stop there *no pun intended*. [Read: Powerful ways to combat and break out of loneliness]
Depression often walks hand in hand with loneliness. As we stated previously, researchers have found a link between touch deprivation and depressive symptoms.
Add a dash of anxiety to the mix, which often spikes due to heightened stress levels when the calming influence of touch is missing, and you’ve got yourself a not-so-fun party for one.
The effects of skin hunger aren’t just emotional – they’re physical too. Just like how your stomach grumbles when you’re hungry, your body reacts when it’s starved of touch.
The stress hormone cortisol can run rampant, contributing to increased stress levels. And if you’ve been counting sheep, tossing and turning at night, it could be a sign of skin hunger. Jakubiak and Feeney’s 2017 study found that physical touch can improve sleep quality – no touch, less quality sleep.
Touch isn’t just a physical sensation – it’s a language all on its own. It plays a vital role in communication and maintaining relationships. It’s like the secret sauce that adds that extra ‘oomph’ to your social connections.
How does this work, you ask? Well, a comforting pat, a firm handshake, or a warm hug can communicate emotions more accurately than words (Hertenstein et al., 2009). It’s like your skin has its own version of the Rosetta Stone, deciphering touch into emotional messages.
So, when we’re deprived of this touch language, our relationships might just miss that special ‘something.’ And no one likes a conversation that’s lost in translation, do they? [Read: Emotional connection – 38 signs, secrets & ways to build a real bond]
Alleviating skin hunger: feeding the need for touch
If you’re reading this and nodding your head so much that it’s about to fall off, don’t worry, we’ve got remedies for you! You can still feed your skin’s hunger even if you’re living the solo life or can’t meet people as often as you’d like.
1. Hugging a pet
If you have a furry friend at home, you’re in luck! A 2012 study shows that interaction with pets can help decrease stress levels and increase feelings of social support. So go on, give your pet a bear hug *but maybe not an actual bear!*.
2. Weighted blankets
This snug solution not only gives the feeling of a warm embrace but also has been found to help reduce anxiety and improve sleep. Think of it as a blanket that hugs you back. How’s that for cozy? [Read: Approach anxiety – 16 effortless ways to conquer it in a few days]
3. Self-massage
It’s not just a spa luxury, folks! Self-massage can stimulate the skin in the same way as interpersonal touch, increasing feelings of well-being (Field, 2014). Plus, it’s a great excuse to treat yourself.
4. Touch-focused meditation techniques
It’s like a mind vacation, concentrating on your body’s sensations. Kok and other researchers found in their study that such mindfulness-based techniques can help reduce feelings of loneliness and improve emotional health.
5. Cuddle buddies
And for a touch of humor *pun absolutely intended!*, consider this – you can hire a friend or a professional to cuddle you!
This industry has seen a rise, given the growing understanding of touch deprivation. Just remember – it’s strictly platonic! [Read: Cuddle buddy – what it is, 41 positions, rules & must-knows to be a good one]
6. Exercise and physical activity
Activities that involve physical exertion can often help satisfy the need for touch as they stimulate the skin and muscles.
This can be anything from yoga, where you’re often in contact with the floor or using props, to more intense sports like boxing or martial arts where there’s controlled physical contact. [Read: Benefits of exercise on your mind, body, and libido]
7. Warm baths or showers
Immersing oneself in water provides a form of whole-body touch. The sensation of warm water can be calming and comforting, similar to a gentle hug.
8. Arts and crafts
Activities like painting, pottery, or other crafts that require physical contact with materials can offer a tactile experience that might help soothe the need for physical touch. [Read: 36 life lessons to instantly transform your life & draw in happiness]
9. Wearing soft or textured clothing
Dressing in fabrics that are pleasing to the touch can stimulate your skin throughout the day, providing a mild but constant source of physical interaction.
10. Seek professional help
If skin hunger starts to interfere with your life, don’t hesitate to seek help from a therapist or counselor. They can provide personalized strategies and help navigate through this issue.
Remember, different strategies might work for different people, so it’s about finding what works best for you.
It’s also crucial to consider help if feelings of loneliness or anxiety become overwhelming or persistent. It’s always okay to reach out to mental health professionals who can provide guidance and support.
A final pat on the back
As we bring this touchy discussion to a close, let’s take a moment to appreciate just how amazing our bodies are.
Who knew that our skin, the same thing that gets all prickly when we listen to our favorite song, could feel something as complex as ‘hunger’?
It’s like your stomach growling, but instead of a sandwich, you need a high five. Pretty wild, right?”
Recognizing and addressing skin hunger is as important as making sure we eat when we’re hungry or sleep when we’re tired.
It’s a basic human need that we often overlook, but our bodies need touch like plants need sunshine. And just like plants, we might wilt a bit without it. [Read: 20 loving & romantic touches in a relationship to make you feel closer]
If you ever feel your skin’s tummy rumbling, don’t ignore it. Address your skin hunger head-on, and don’t be shy about seeking professional help if you need it. We all need a little help sometimes, and there’s no shame in that.
Remember, skin hunger is way more common than you think, so let’s look out for each other and our collective skin’s need for a little TLC. Sending you a virtual high-five or a hug, whichever you prefer!
[Read: 34 secrets to be more social & connect with people if you have no social life]
If you find yourself yearning for physical touch, you’re likely experiencing skin hunger. This psychological condition’s impact is physical and mental, but it doesn’t have to last forever when you try our suggested remedies.
