Home  >  My Life  >  Reflections

26 Lesbian Stereotypes, Myths & Clichés Most People Still Believe Even Now

There are plenty of lesbian stereotypes and myths out there, but which are true and which are downright false? It’s time to unveil the truth! 

lesbian stereotypes and myths

There are many lesbian stereotypes out there. In fact, there are stereotypes for literally every type of person whether you’re lesbian, gay, straight, tall, or short. Whatever you are, there’s a stereotype out there for you.

It’s somewhat natural for us to use stereotypes, and there’s so much information out there that the only way to handle it is to place it under a label to “better” understand. If you see a girl wearing glasses and reading a book in a library, in your mind, she’s already labeled as a “nerdy bookworm.”

However, it comes as no surprise that lesbians have plenty of myths surrounding them. [Read: List of sexualities – 15 gender orientations you need to know about]

A brief history of lesbianism

We know that a lesbian is a woman who feels sexually and romantically attracted to other women.

The term “lesbian” has origins in Greek mythology. The name refers to the island of Lesbos, which is the birthplace of Sappho, a woman who wrote many poems about homosexuality, particularly involving women.

However, one of the earliest mentions of lesbianism in historical documents appeared around 1700 BCE, in the Code of Hammurabi. This was a code of laws from Babylonian times and it is here that lesbianism first came to the fore. In this code, women were allowed to marry one another.

While much of the world has accepted lesbianism, there is still a long way to go. Perhaps that is why there is so much stigma and stereotyping still around. [Read: Lesbian love – what it’s really like to date a woman]

The most common lesbian stereotypes we’ve all come across

So, what are the most common lesbian myths out there? Maybe you’re a lesbian yourself or have friends who are lesbians, or maybe you’re just curious to know what the stereotypes are. Well, we’re here to give them to you.

1. Lesbians hunt for straight women

Lesbians are not hunters! If anything, they help women who are closeted to come out and experience their desires. Lesbians don’t “convert” straight women, fellas. [Read: 18 empowering reasons to love being a lesbian]

2. Lesbians look like dudes

Maybe it’s because of how you’ve seen lesbians depicted in movies, however, lesbians can be feminine as well. In fact, there’s no actual dress code to be a lesbian.

Some women feel more masculine than others, that’s really it. This is one of the most common lesbian stereotypes.

3. In every lesbian couple, there’s a “man” and a “woman”

What? Okay, let us say first off that this isn’t true.

Sure, there are many lesbian couples where one lesbian is more masculine while the other is more feminine, however, this is not always the case.

One doesn’t have to be “the man” in the relationship. In fact, neither of them are men. That is, well, the entire point of a lesbian relationship. [Read: 21 main types of lesbians, their preferences, and ways to tell them apart]

4. Lesbian sex isn’t “real” sex

Maybe in the most scientific sense, if you’re talking strictly about penetration with a male penis, sure, you can go with that thought. But really, lesbians have sex.

Oral sex, sex with toys, foreplay – this IS sex. [Read: How do lesbians have sex? Truths about girl-on-girl sex]

5. All lesbians have short hair

Sure, and then there are some that have long hair. Some have curly hair, some have straight hair – we’re starting to sound like a Dr. Suess book. Point is, a lesbian can style her hair however she wants.

6. Lesbians hate men

Lesbians don’t hate men. We think the problem comes when men feel threatened that lesbians are coming and “stealing their women.” She wasn’t straight, dude! Calm your ego.

7. Lesbians can’t be friends with straight women

This might be shocking, but we’re here to tell you that you can be friends with someone regardless of their sexual preference.

In fact, you should be friends with someone regardless of their sexual preference, because you shouldn’t seek out friendships just to sleep with them.

You know, you’re pretty cocky if you think everyone wants to sleep with you. They may just want to be your friend instead. [Read: 15 lesbian dating tips for the newly out lesbian]

8. Lesbians love threesomes

Who came up with this? So many people assume that lesbians love to have threesomes with straight couples. Listen, lesbians are human beings. Their sexual preference doesn’t mean that they only seek out sex with multiple people.

Now, they do like to have sex and some do like to have threesomes with couples, but not all of them. Some just want a monogamous relationship.

9. Lesbians just haven’t met the right guy

If a woman is interested in men and women, she’s bisexual, not a lesbian. So, in that case, she may change between dating a woman and a man.

However, if she’s a lesbian, she’s not waiting for the right guy. She’s waiting for the right girl. [Read: Am I a lesbian or bisexual? 31 signs to the truth without asking around]

10. Lesbians love sport

Some lesbians do, and some lesbians are really good at sports. But then there are lesbians who prefer to read or go to music festivals. See where we’re heading with this?

Shockingly, lesbians do not all share the same interests. This isn’t like a special club. [Read: What is it really like to have a lesbian experience?]

11. All lesbians are vegetarian

Is this true? Are they all vegetarian? If so, that would be great. They’re collectively making a difference to our planet, that’s pretty commendable.

But, odds are, there are lesbians who eat meat. Sorry to let you down on this one.

12. Lesbian death bed

Rumor has it that when lesbians get into a relationship they stop having sex with each other.

Well, Professor Karen Blair, a member of the Society for the Scientific Study of Sex found that lesbians do have less sex than straight women, however, lesbian sex lasts longer.

The answer is, lesbian sex makes you tired and fulfilled so you don’t need to have it as often. [Read: Lesbian sex – 23 positions, girl-on-girl sex secrets, myths, and other must-knows]

13. Lesbians reject dominant beauty standards

Well, we’re happy to inform you that this is true. In fact, lesbians have better body images in comparison to straight women.

They also define beauty in much broader terms as well. If you ask us, this is a pretty good stereotype: it’s positive. [Read: Closet lesbian – 15 telltale signs you have a lesbian wife]

14. Lesbians are moody

Women, in general, are more emotionally expressive than men. However, if you’re a lesbian, you’re not given more emotion than straight women. It doesn’t work like that.

Lesbians are humans, so naturally, they have emotions that can range from happy to sad. And so do you!

15. Lesbians have a history of abuse

No, lesbians, in general, do not have a history of abuse, nor do they have daddy issues. This stereotype is probably used to help men who don’t understand why a woman won’t sleep with them.

16. Lesbians can’t become and remain Christians

Since when is Jesus a “members-only club?” We’d like to believe that faith has nothing to do with orientation.

Personal belief is an intimate connection between you and your God that only the two of you can understand. It is not about organized practices or dogmas.

It’s about his message and his message is simple, LOVE. [Read: 15 big relationship questions you must answer before the next level]

17. Lesbians recruit because they cannot propagate

This whole “gay recruitment agenda” is heresy. Lesbians don’t have a euro savings account or stacks of gold bars to fund all these recruitment and membership-for-cash advertisements. Lesbians are never interested in any form of conversion.

18. Lesbians are fat and ugly women who can’t find men

Excuse us, can you say that again?! FYI, lesbians aren’t lesbians because they couldn’t get a man. The truth is they don’t want men in the first place.

Lesbians, like heterosexuals, come in different shapes and sizes. This is, again, a stereotype created by men to cope with why a woman won’t sleep with them. [Read: Steps to get back your body confidence in the bedroom]

19. Lesbians often tend to get emotionally attached too easily

This myth springs from the invention of the urban slang “u-haul lesbians” named after a brand of rental trucks. According to Urban Dictionary, these are lesbians who, after their first date, tend to move in with that person right away.

This stereotype syndrome has been disfavored, and it’s considered unhealthy by many. However, this immediate “urge to merge” issue is simply dead wrong.

20. Lesbians stay friends with all their exes

False. This may be true for some, but definitely not for all.

Like every normal person, lesbians are uncomfortable bumping into or hanging out with an ex-lover, unless they’re emotionally stuck. But that’s a whole new feature to write about. [Read: Things to keep in mind when you run into an ex]

21. Lesbians dress alike

Are we missing something here? Lesbians can pretty much wear whatever they feel like!

22. Lesbians know all lesbians

Newsflash: there isn’t an official lesbian headcount. Really. What made you think lesbians keep a directory of all lesbians in town? So quit asking if she knows “her.” [Read: Naughty ways to get rid of a sexual dry spell]

23. Lesbians love to flaunt their sexuality

The flaunting accusation is a bit far-fetched. Best of all, how come nobody complains when heterosexuals try to eat each other’s faces off along the sidewalk?

24. Lesbians are into pets

Everybody is into pets. Since when did pets become gender sensitive? If this is so, do we need a lesbian veterinarian too, every time a pet throws up and gets sick?

25. Lesbians are experts when it comes to oral sex

Really? Are lesbians born knowing how to do this? Of course not!

The only reason lesbians may be better at oral sex is because of practice, and that’s never a bad thing, right? [Read: Female confessions – the feeling of oral sex for women]

26. All lesbians have a great gaydar

Seriously? No.

It is about time the world lets go of the concept of a “gaydar”. It is not only offensive, but it simply isn’t real.

Effects of these lesbian stereotypes

While some of these lesbian myths and stereotypes might sound funny, they’re far from humorous in real life. Some of these ideas can be damaging because we somehow pigeonhole lesbians and assume that they’re nothing like everyone else. Totally untrue!

At the end of the day, a lesbian is just a woman who has found herself attracted to other women. No need for stereotypes or myths.

[Read: Is she a lesbian? Clear signs to know for sure]

So, now that you’re filled up with lesbian stereotypes, and even though we create them to help us, they actually do more harm than good. Wash those stereotypes right out of your head!

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...