Home  >  My Life  >  Reflections

Hyper Independence: What It is, 66 Signs, Causes & Secrets to Deal with It

Feeling like you never need anyone’s help, ever? Hold up, you might be dealing with hyper independence.

Hyper Independence

If you often find yourself saying, “I can do it all myself, thank you very much,” as you navigate through life’s ups and downs, you might be experiencing hyper independence. But you might wonder, “When is independence a bad thing?”

Well, let’s get into it. Hyper independence isn’t your run-of-the-mill, garden-variety independence. Oh no, it’s independence on steroids, complete with its own set of quirks and idiosyncrasies.

You’re not just steering your own ship, you’re building it, polishing it, and rejecting any lifebuoys thrown your way.

Understanding hyper independence is more crucial now than ever. We live in a world where ‘self-made’ is the badge everyone wants to wear, but at what cost?

Independence is empowering, but hyper independence can lead to navigating through life alone and sometimes missing the benefits that come from teamwork, love, and even a little dependence. [Read: Emotional dependency & 20 signs you’re overly dependent on someone]

What is Hyper Independence?

When it comes to independence, there’s a fine line between “I got this” and “I got this, so please stay 500 feet away from me at all times.” Yep, that second one is what we’re zeroing in on: hyper independence.

In the world of psychology, hyper independence is essentially the need to prove your autonomy and self-reliance, not just to the world but to yourself. It’s like your internal settings are always switched to “Do Not Disturb.”

Now, from a theoretical standpoint, this can be explained by a blend of Attachment Theory and Self-Determination Theory. The Attachment Theory angle suggests that your past relationships, especially with caregivers, have conditioned you to equate self-worth with self-reliance.

Meanwhile, Self-Determination Theory posits that you’re essentially overcompensating for your need for autonomy, perhaps at the expense of relatedness and competence.

What sets hyper independence apart from basic independence? Simple. Independence means you can handle life’s challenges on your own but are open to assistance and connection. [Read: Lessons you need to survive on your own]

Hyper independence, on the other hand, is when you’ve barricaded yourself behind a wall of self-reliance so tall, not even a SWAT team could get through it.

You know you’re hyper independent when you refuse help to open a jar of pickles, even though you’re straining every muscle in your body. We get it, you’re strong and self-reliant, but come on, even Superman had Lois Lane.

The Tell-Tale Signs of Hyper Independence

You’re probably thinking, “Great, so what are the blinking neon signs that scream ‘I’m hyper independent!’?”

1. Emotional Distancing

When it comes to emotional distancing, those with hyper independence have turned it into an art form. While it’s natural to need space and time for yourself, hyper independent folks take this to a new level.

They’re not just guarding their emotional landscape, they’ve built a fortress around it. The difference here is that an independent person knows how to connect emotionally when it’s beneficial and necessary, whereas a hyper independent individual views emotional closeness as a vulnerability to be avoided. [Read: Dating an independent woman: 28 expectations & other must-knows]

2. Self-Reliance to a Fault

Being self-reliant is usually a commendable trait, right? But in the realm of hyper independence, it goes into overdrive. Need to move a sofa up three flights of stairs? No problem, they’ve got it— no help needed, thank you!

An independent person would weigh the situation and accept help if it makes the task easier or more efficient. Hyper independent folks, however, would rather break a sweat *or a bone* than admit they could use a hand.

3. Work Overload

In the workplace, a hyper independent individual tends to hoard tasks. Delegating? What’s that? They would rather drown in a sea of spreadsheets than pass on a few to a colleague.

An independent person understands the importance of teamwork and will delegate tasks to create a balanced workload but the hyper independents are sailing solo, often leading to burnout. [Read: Dating a workaholic: 20 signs and tips to maintain a happy relationship]

4. Difficulty Accepting Help

Here’s a classic: the sheer inability to accept help, even when it’s freely offered and needed. A flat tire? They’ll handle it. A 200-pound package? They’ve got it.

While an independent person might think twice but eventually accept help, the hyper independent among us view accepting assistance as a sign of weakness or incompetence.

5. Control Freak Tendencies

Ah, control, the magic word. For hyper independent folks, maintaining control isn’t just a preference, it’s a necessity. They need to steer the ship, plot the course, and probably even built the GPS system guiding the way. [Read: Glaring signs you have a control freak in you]

In contrast, an independent person is comfortable sharing control or even relinquishing it sometimes, understanding that it’s okay not to be the master of every single domain.

6. Unrealistic Self-Expectations

Hyper independent individuals often set the bar exceptionally high for themselves. They aim to be the epitome of perfection in every realm, refusing to show any cracks in the facade.

While an independent person sets achievable goals and is okay with occasional failures, someone who’s hyper independent may consider anything less than perfect to be a catastrophic failure.

7. Fear of Commitment

Hyper independent people often see commitment as a cage. Whether it’s sticking to a job or settling down in a relationship, they fear losing their autonomy. [Read: Fear of commitment: 47 signs, whys & ways to get over your phobia]

Independent individuals, in contrast, see commitment as a mutual agreement that can provide emotional and practical benefits, while still maintaining a sense of self.

8. Avoidance of Emotional Conversations

Deep emotional chats are the kryptonite for the hyper independent. They’d rather walk barefoot on Legos than talk about their feelings.

While an independent individual understands the need for emotional expression and is willing to engage when necessary, the hyper independent person often sidesteps these conversations as if dodging landmines.

9. Minimal Vulnerability

Ever try to get a hyper independent person to open up? It’s like cracking a safe. They view vulnerability as a dangerous exposure that can be used against them. [Read: Vulnerable narcissism: What it means, 29 signs, causes & ways to deal with it]

Independent people understand that showing vulnerability can actually strengthen bonds and foster trust.

10. Resistant to Feedback

A hyper independent person may see feedback as an attack on their skills or personality. The mere suggestion for improvement can be perceived as criticism.

An independent individual, on the other hand, would likely welcome feedback as a tool for growth and improvement.

11. Strong Dislike for Group Activities

Team-building activities, group projects, or even a weekend getaway with friends can feel suffocating for the hyper independent person. They prefer the solitary route, steering clear of the ‘group’ in group activities.

Independent people can enjoy the best of both worlds; they’re comfortable flying solo but can also relish the joy and creativity that comes from group interactions.

12. Highly Selective Social Circle

Hyper independent individuals often have a very small, selective social circle, carefully choosing who gets access to their world. They’re not anti-social; they’re selectively social to an extreme. [Read: 41 honest reasons why you have no friends that care & steps to fix it ASAP]

Independent people are more open to expanding their social circles, embracing various levels of closeness with different people.

13. Low Need for Affection

While everyone has different needs for affection, those who are hyper independent often see it as a frivolous desire. They rarely seek physical touch or emotional reassurances.

An independent person might also value their space but will not shy away from affection and may even seek it during specific circumstances.

14. Internal Locus of Control

While having an internal locus of control is generally a good thing, hyper independent individuals take this to an extreme. They believe they’re responsible for everything that happens to them, discounting external factors like luck or the actions of others.

Independent people have a balanced view, acknowledging both internal and external factors affecting their life.

15. Defensiveness

Hyper independent people are often defensive when confronted about their actions or decisions.

While an independent person might consider constructive criticism, someone who’s hyper independent may see it as a direct threat to their autonomy and get their hackles up immediately. [Read: Why do people get defensive? Reasons & ways to handle them]

16. Ignoring Self-Care

Believe it or not, hyper independent folks sometimes neglect self-care, equating it with self-indulgence or weakness.

An independent person recognizes the importance of self-care and understands that taking time for oneself isn’t selfish; rather, it’s necessary for overall well-being.

17. Ruthless Prioritization

Hyper independent individuals have a knack for ruthless prioritization of tasks, often sidelining relationships and emotions.

They may have learned early on that relying on others can lead to disappointment or hurt, so they build a self-sufficient fortress around themselves.

While an independent person knows how to juggle priorities and can accommodate relationships, the hyper independent view anything not contributing directly to their goals as frivolous.

This mindset can be a defense mechanism to avoid the unpredictability and potential pain associated with emotional connections.

18. Inflexibility

One major sign of hyper independence is a certain level of inflexibility. Deviating from a pre-decided plan can make them anxious or upset.

Independent people, in contrast, can be more adaptable and are generally more open to change.

19. Avoiding Intimacy

In relationships, hyper independent people often avoid intimacy. Not just physical, but emotional intimacy as well, thinking of it as a sign of dependence. [Read: Intimacy issues: What it looks like, 39 signs, causes & tips to date with it]

Independent folks understand that intimacy is a natural and healthy part of a balanced relationship.

20. Suppressed Emotions

Hyper independent individuals often suppress their emotions, considering them to be an unnecessary complication.

An independent person is better at emotional regulation and is willing to confront and process emotions rather than just stuffing them down.

21. Impulse to Run Away

When the going gets tough, the hyper independent get going… literally. They have a tendency to run away from difficult situations rather than face them.

Independent individuals are more likely to stay and confront the issue, understanding that not all problems are threats to their self-sufficiency.

22. Over-Analysis

An independent person might think things through but is generally less obsessive over possible future scenarios. They can accept a certain level of unpredictability and trust that they can adapt as needed. [Read: 38 secrets to stop overthinking, what it looks like, signs & the fastest fixes]

In contrast, hyper independent people often over-analyze situations, always trying to predict every possible outcome to maintain control. This tendency to overthink stems from their deep-seated need for control and certainty in their lives.

They might have experienced situations where things went wrong due to relying on others or unforeseen circumstances, leading them to believe that meticulous planning is the key to avoiding future disappointments.

For them, over-analysis is a way to protect themselves from potential risks and vulnerabilities, even if it means sacrificing peace of mind and spontaneity.

23. View of Relationships as Transactions

To a hyper independent individual, relationships often seem transactional, something that serves a purpose rather than an emotional connection.

Independent people see the intrinsic value in relationships, beyond just utility.

24. Reluctance to Celebrate Achievements

Independent people can relish their victories and share their joy with others, seeing each achievement as a stepping stone, not just a box to tick off.

They understand the importance of acknowledging their progress and celebrating milestones, which helps them maintain motivation and build meaningful connections with those around them. [Read: 25 ways to emotionally connect with someone & instantly feel closer]

In contrast, hyper independent folks rarely take the time to celebrate their achievements. They’re always moving on to the next big thing, forever chasing the horizon. It stems from a belief that taking time to enjoy their success is a waste and that whatever they’ve accomplished is never enough.

They may feel that pausing to celebrate could make them complacent or distract them from their goals. This mindset can prevent them from appreciating their hard work and from fostering deeper relationships with others who might want to share in their joy.

25. Perfectionism

Last but not least, hyper independent folks often exhibit perfectionist tendencies, as they see any flaw or mistake as a dent in their armor of self-reliance.

Independent people can accept their imperfections as part of being human and are more forgiving toward themselves. [Read: Dating a perfectionist: Things you must know before you date one]

What Causes Someone to be Hyper Independent?

Now, why are hyper independent people like this, you might ask? Let’s explore the root causes of hyper independence:

1. Genetic Predispositions

While it might be tempting to pin hyper independence solely on life experiences, our genetic makeup also plays a role. Studies have shown that personality traits, which can include a tendency towards independence, can be partially inherited.

However, it’s crucial to note that being genetically predisposed doesn’t mean you’re destined to be hyper independent; it simply lays the groundwork.

An independent individual may have some of these traits but usually balances them with environmental factors.

2. Childhood Experiences

Our early life experiences shape us in profound ways. Children who had to fend for themselves at an early age, or who perhaps grew up in less nurturing environments, may develop hyper independent traits as a survival mechanism.

On the other hand, those who are merely independent may have experienced a balance of support and freedom, allowing them to trust others without feeling threatened. [Read: I was raised by a stay at home mom and it made my life better]

3. Psychological Underpinnings

According to Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, achieving levels of “Esteem” and “Self-Actualization” is the ultimate goal.

Hyper independent individuals might hyperfocus on these higher-level needs, perhaps as a compensation for unmet needs in the lower tiers.

Independent individuals, by contrast, seek a balanced pyramid, striving for esteem and self-actualization while also addressing social and emotional needs.

4. Culture and Gender Roles

Cultural norms and gender roles can be catalysts for hyper independence. In societies that heavily value self-reliance and individual achievements, the pressure to be hyper independent can be immense.

This contrasts with independent folks who may come from cultures that value community and interdependence equally, allowing for a balanced approach to life.

5. Social Isolation

Believe it or not, the way our society is structured could be contributing to hyper independence. The digital age has made it easier than ever to live a life apart from others, providing the tools to be self-sufficient to an extreme. [Read: 34 secrets to be more social & connect with people if you have no social life]

Independent individuals, however, use technology as a tool for both self-sufficiency and maintaining social connections, seeing value in both.

Pros of Hyper Independence

Hyper independence isn’t all bad. There are some perks to being fiercely self-reliant. Here are a few benefits:

1. High Self-Efficacy

One of the undeniable pros of hyper independence is a strong sense of self-efficacy. You believe you can accomplish what you set out to do, and usually, you do it.

This self-belief often translates into achieving goals at a faster rate than most. An independent person might also have a high self-efficacy but doesn’t let this belief blind them to the potential benefits of teamwork and mutual support.

2. Less Fear of Failure

Hyper independent individuals often have less fear of failure, precisely because they rely less on external validation. They’re not as impacted by the judgments of others and can bounce back more quickly from setbacks. [Read: Fear of failure and why you shouldn’t be afraid to fail]

While independent folks also possess resilience, they may have a more balanced view that includes learning from failures and considering the feedback of others.

3. Ability to Make Quick Decisions

The need for swift decision-making is a zone where hyper independent people thrive. They don’t need a committee to decide, they analyze and act. This can be a superpower in situations that require quick, decisive action.

An independent person, while also capable of making decisions, might take a more balanced approach that includes considering the opinions and feelings of others involved.

4. Financial Independence

Hyper independent folks often prioritize achieving financial independence from a young age. They aim to be self-sufficient, avoiding any monetary ties that could be perceived as strings attached.

While an independent individual may also strive for financial stability, they are more open to the idea of shared financial goals, especially in committed relationships.

5. Low Risk of Co-dependency

Hyper independent people are practically immune to becoming co-dependent because they keep emotional investment at arm’s length.

While emotional detachment has its cons, this armoring does protect them from unhealthy relational dynamics where dependency could become a significant issue.

Independent individuals may also avoid co-dependency but are more likely to engage in relationships that involve mutual emotional support. [Read: 38 signs of codependency & traits that make you clingy and ways to break out]

6. Enhanced Problem-Solving Skills

Hyper independent people are natural problem-solvers. Since they’re used to relying solely on themselves, they’ve honed their skills in finding solutions.

This is undoubtedly a valuable skill in life and various professional settings. Independent people also possess problem-solving skills, but they’re more open to collaborative problem-solving.

7. Strong Boundaries

Hyper independence often leads to well-defined personal boundaries. People with this trait are typically very clear about what they will and won’t tolerate, which can be beneficial in both personal and professional relationships.

Independent individuals also have boundaries, but they might be more flexible in certain contexts to foster meaningful connections. [Read: 23 secrets to set personal boundaries & guide others to respect them]

8. Less Vulnerability to Peer Pressure

The hyper independent are less likely to cave under peer pressure, thanks to their intrinsic motivation and reliance on self-validation.

While this might mean missing out on certain social experiences, it also insulates them from potentially harmful situations.

Independent folks may also resist peer pressure but might weigh social dynamics a bit more in their decision-making.

9. Resilience in Times of Crisis

When the chips are down, hyper independent individuals tend to cope better than most, simply because they’re used to handling things on their own. [Read: The warrior spirit: What it is, 42 signs, benefits & secrets to wield & grow it]

Their high threshold for stress enables them to navigate crises with a level of calm and calculated action. Independent individuals can also be resilient but might turn to a support network in challenging times.

10. Singular Focus and Dedication

The hyper independent often exhibit an unmatched level of focus and dedication to their goals, which can lead to significant achievements.

This quality can be a double-edged sword but does mean they’re likely to excel in areas they’re passionate about.

Independent folks can be equally passionate but might pursue a more balanced life, which can include other people and varied interests.

Cons of Hyper Independence

Ah, the flip side of the coin. Anything in excess can be a recipe for trouble, and hyper independence is no exception. So, let’s venture into the not-so-glowing aspects of being overly self-reliant:

1. Emotional Isolation

While it’s great not to be clingy, hyper independence can often translate to emotional isolation. You might find it difficult to open up, even to those closest to you, missing out on the emotional support that relationships can provide. [Read: Reasons why we’re afraid to open up to people & steps to overcome it]

2. Difficulty in Team Settings

If you’re hyper independent, working in a team can be a Herculean task. The urge to take over and the reluctance to delegate can not only burn you out but also breed resentment among team members.

Independent people, by contrast, value their autonomy but can easily adapt to team dynamics, recognizing the strength in collaboration.

3. Increased Stress Levels

Taking on too many responsibilities alone can lead to heightened stress levels. While hyper independent individuals may think they’re built to handle it, chronic stress has long-term health implications.

Independent folks usually know when to share the load and seek support, thereby managing stress more effectively. [Read: How to reduce stress: Fastest hacks to a calmer & happier life]

4. Potential for Burnout

Hyper independent people are prime candidates for burnout. The constant need to do everything on your own can exhaust you both mentally and physically.

While independent individuals also strive for self-reliance, they have the wisdom to take breaks and recharge, which is crucial for long-term success.

5. Impaired Relationship Quality

When you’re hyper independent, relationships can suffer. Your unwillingness to share responsibilities or be vulnerable can create an emotional chasm between you and your loved ones.

6. Neglect of Self-Care

Ironically, being overly self-reliant can sometimes mean neglecting yourself, as we mentioned above. In the quest to be the ultimate doer, you may overlook basic self-care practices, compromising your well-being in the process. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

7. Limited Personal Growth

Believe it or not, our interactions with others can be fertile grounds for personal growth. The feedback, constructive criticism, and different perspectives that come from social interactions are lost on the hyper independent, who may shun such exchanges.

8. Fear of Intimacy

The fortress of hyper independence often hides a fear of intimacy, as discussed above. You may avoid deep emotional connections, as they pose a risk to your self-imposed autonomy, causing you to miss out on the richness of close relationships.

9. Overlooked Opportunities for Synergy

Two heads can be better than one, but hyper independent folks often overlook this. The mindset of “I can do it all myself” means they can miss out on the innovative and creative outcomes that arise from collaboration or synergy. [Read: Dating a workaholic: 20 signs and tips to maintain a happy relationship]

10. Lack of Receptivity to Feedback

Constructive criticism and feedback are vital for personal and professional growth. The hyper independent, however, may view any form of feedback as an encroachment on their autonomy, refusing to entertain viewpoints other than their own.

Navigating Your Hyper Independence

The million-dollar question: How do you manage hyper independence without damaging your personal relationships? Here are some strategies:

1. Balance Autonomy with Connection

Navigating hyper independence involves achieving a healthy balance between autonomy and connection. Too much self-reliance can sever emotional ties, while too little can lead to codependency.

The key is to recognize when your need for autonomy is eclipsing your basic human need for connection. [Read: Missed connection: What it means & the best ways to find & rekindle it ASAP]

It involves being mindful of your behavior, understanding the importance of emotional support, and making a conscious effort to let others in when appropriate. Finding this balance can help maintain healthy, fulfilling relationships while preserving your sense of self-reliance.

2. Integrate Interdependence Theory and Relational Dialectics Theory

Psychology offers a toolkit for managing hyper independence. Interdependence Theory urges us to see relationships as a two-way street, where both parties gain and contribute.

Meanwhile, Relational Dialectics Theory talks about the tension between autonomy and connection in relationships, suggesting that both can coexist in a healthy balance.

When we integrate these theories, we get a nuanced model for managing hyper independence, blending self-reliance with emotional openness. It’s not an overnight fix but rather a journey of self-discovery and adjustment. [Read: 25 self-discovery questions to bring you closer to learning who you are]

3. Seek Professional Guidance

While it might be anathema to the hyper independent to seek help, sometimes professional guidance, like therapy or counseling, can offer invaluable insights.

These professionals can help you recognize your patterns and offer coping strategies that encourage more balanced relationships. They can serve as a mirror, helping you see your blind spots that are often cloaked in the disguise of hyper independence.

4. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage your emotions, as well as those of others. By working on improving your emotional intelligence, you can maintain your sense of self while also becoming more attuned to the emotional needs of those around you.

Independent people often have a decent level of emotional intelligence, but the hyper independent can improve in this area. [Read: Emotional immaturity: How to recognize them & help them grow up]

With increased emotional intelligence, you can find a way to maintain your independence without putting emotional barriers between yourself and others.

5. Mindfulness and Self-Awareness

Practicing mindfulness can be a powerful tool in understanding the underlying causes and triggers of your hyper independence.

It helps you become more aware of your thoughts, actions, and feelings in real-time, allowing you to catch yourself before retreating into your fortress of solitude.

Independent individuals often employ self-awareness as a tool to know when they’re erring too far on the side of solitude or emotional distance.

6. Actively Practicing Vulnerability

Vulnerability isn’t a sign of weakness; it’s a sign of emotional strength and self-confidence. Actively working to become more vulnerable, perhaps by sharing your worries or seeking advice, can significantly impact the quality of your relationships.

While independent folks are not strangers to vulnerability, those who are hyper independent often view it as a threat to their autonomy. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationship, open up & 28 secrets to grow closer]

Yet, it is an integral part of human connection and can be liberating when practiced in a balanced manner.

7. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Setting boundaries doesn’t negate independence; in fact, it fosters healthier relationships. By learning to say ‘no’ or establishing your emotional and physical limits, you’re not just being mindful of your own needs but also creating space for others to express theirs.

Independent people generally do this well, but those leaning towards hyper independence often set boundaries that are more like impenetrable walls. It’s time to replace those walls with fences that have gates, allowing for meaningful interaction.

8. Regular Emotional Check-ins with Loved Ones

It’s all too easy for hyper independent individuals to go through life assuming everything’s fine—until it’s not.

Regular emotional check-ins with family and friends not only keep relationships healthy but also provide alternate perspectives you might not have considered.

Independent people engage in these check-ins naturally because they see the value in communal well-being, unlike the hyper independent, who may view it as unnecessary or intrusive.

9. Openness to Collaboration

Hyper independent individuals often have a “lone wolf” mentality. While it’s great to be self-reliant, collaborative efforts can lead to higher achievement and fulfillment.

Try to approach tasks and problem-solving with an open mind, understanding that different viewpoints can bring invaluable insights.

Independent people welcome collaboration for its utility and potential for growth, a concept that can truly enrich the hyper independent lifestyle.

10. Engaging in Empathetic Listening

Listening is an art form that goes beyond just hearing words. Empathetic listening involves truly understanding the emotional content and underlying message in a conversation.

This can be particularly difficult for hyper independent people, who are often too focused on their own agenda to really hear others. [Read: How to show empathy & learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

On the other hand, independent individuals typically excel in empathetic listening, finding a balance between processing their own thoughts and valuing those of others.

How to Deal with a Hyper Independent Partner/Friend

Now, what if you’ve identified that someone close to you is riding the hyper independence train, and you’re wondering how to share the ride without feeling like excess baggage?

Let’s delve into how to tackle this complex yet relatable scenario.

1. Talk It Out But Make It Natural

Instead of diving into the deep end with Transactional Analysis, let’s just say effective communication is key. Trying to understand your hyper independent buddy’s mindset can go a long way.

Natural, open conversations that tap into their love for problem-solving can make hyper independent individuals more receptive to closeness. While this might be unfamiliar for them, it’s a crucial step in fostering healthy relationships.

2. Don’t Box Them In, But Draw Some Lines

Setting boundaries sounds like an ordeal, doesn’t it? But it doesn’t have to be. It’s all about letting them know what you’re comfortable with, without making them feel confined.

Your hyper independent friend or partner isn’t used to having limits that aren’t self-imposed, so this is a two-way street of discovery. Let them know what makes you tick while learning what makes them tick.

3. Tell Them “I Got Your Back” Without Sounding Like a Hallmark Card

When you want to let your hyper independent person know that they can count on you, it’s all about timing and tone. [Read: True friendship: 37 real friend traits & what it takes to be a good, loyal one]

A casual mention when they’re not on their solo superhero mission can go a long way. You don’t have to make it a ‘thing’—just a simple, “You know, you don’t have to do it all alone,” can suffice.

4. Slide In Some Compliments, But Keep It Real

Complimenting their self-reliance and resourcefulness is a sneaky but effective way to build trust. You acknowledge their independence, which they highly value, without diminishing your own role in their life.

Think of it as positive reinforcement; you’re rewarding the behavior you want to encourage. The trick is to make sure these compliments are genuine and relevant.

Remember, hyper independent people have a strong internal compass and can usually tell if you’re being insincere. [Read: Warm & nice things to say to people & make them really happy]

5. Share Your Own Vulnerabilities *Occasionally*

Showing your own vulnerabilities doesn’t make you weak; it makes you human. Sharing your struggles or worries in a casual way can help normalize the idea of leaning on others.

Your hyper independent partner or friend might see this as an invitation to also be more open, making your relationship more balanced and authentic. It’s like saying, “Look, even I need help sometimes, and that’s perfectly okay.” [Read: Damsel in distress: Why men find women who ask for help irresistible]

6. Plan Joint Ventures, But Let Them Take the Wheel *Sometimes*

Whether it’s a weekend getaway or simply cooking dinner together, shared activities can help ease them into the idea of interdependence.

The key here is to make it a collaborative effort. Let them take the lead on aspects they’re enthusiastic about. This way, you’re not infringing on their independence but celebrating it.

It’s like you’re both painters contributing to a single masterpiece—each with your own colors and brushstrokes.

True Strength is Knowing When to Reach Out

Let’s leave on this note: Independence is undeniably a valuable trait. It’s empowering, it builds character, and it can push you to achieve great things.

However, true strength also lies in knowing when to reach out and lean on others. Life’s challenges aren’t a solo sport. We all need a supportive team to cheer us on from time to time.

Embracing help and shared experiences doesn’t diminish your worth or independence. On the contrary, it makes you a more balanced, emotionally intelligent individual. The people who love you, adore you for who you are, and they’d genuinely enjoy being there for you, even if it’s just to open that pesky jar of pickles. [Read: 21 physical signs of love & things to watch if they’re in love with you]

Take a moment to reevaluate your stance on hyper independence. You might just find that a little interdependence makes life a whole lot sweeter.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...