Sit down with your partner while reading this, or send this feature across to your partner so they too can understand these pointers.
If you’re already experiencing the symptoms of a money squabble, here are some thoughts that would definitely make a difference in your lives.
Six Questions to Help You Stop Fighting with your Partner
Q1. After you’ve purchased something, is it the purchase or your relationship that holds more value to you?
In a happy relationship, both of you have an equal say, and any amount of money you earn does not enable you to enjoy more power in your relationship.
Nor does that mean you can buy what you want, whether your partner likes it or not.
Q2. Do you really need to buy that?
Whenever you want to buy something, ask yourself if you really need it, and can’t do without it. And then ask your partner about it, and rationalize.
If both of you are comfortable with the thought of making that purchase, go ahead. If not, read Q1 again!
Q3. Are you a spendthrift?
Be truthful here, because lying will not help anyone. Do you love spending money because it makes you feel good, or better than the people around you? Have you done anything to deal with the issue?
If you’re a spendthrift then gradually cut down your expenses to a moderate level. But if you find that you still can’t come to terms with each other’s views, it would be better to reassess your relationship.
Q4. Do you get abusive when your partner points out your excessive purchases?
It is always easier to curse the darkness than to light a candle. It is easier to abuse than to try and listen. Start listening and do not yell. Stay calm and put forth your view on issues in a clear manner. No amount of anger will ease the situation.
Get involved in issues together and sort the differences, but don’t ever get repetitive on your partner’s flaws.
Q5. Have both of you set goals on your money and expenditure levels?
It is your goals that should guide your expense. Set realistic goals and pursue them together. This will reduce your arguments.
Q5. Have you started making changes?
It might not be easy at first to reduce your expenses and stop fighting over money. But you will soon be able to sort out all your differences, and appreciate and respect each other’s opinions when it comes to making purchases. You could, of course, set aside a certain amount of money to spend on small luxuries now and then, as long as it’s feasible.
Q6. Are both of you participating equally in trying to stop fighting over money?
Equal participation is the key to a happy future. Whether it is in setting goals or for analyzing your budget, never burden your partner with too much responsibility or take all of it away from them. It is important for both of you to take decisions together and share the responsibilities.
Involve your partner in every decision and help them involve themselves. Make your partner feel wanted. Shunning one partner’s view on purchases and money management will only create a bigger rift between both of you.
It’s easy to point fingers and argue with your partner, but it really can be easier to stop fighting over money in a relationship and start saving money if both of you try to understand each other.
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