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How to Not Give a Fuck: A Badass Guide to Less Fucks & More Laughs

Bad things happen to good people. Unfortunately, it happens all the time, and it can be overwhelming. So, you might want to learn how not to give a fuck.

how to not give a fuck

It’s cool to care about things, there is no denying it. You can’t go through your whole life simply not caring about anything at all – you probably wouldn’t get too far if you did. However, there are moments in life, experiences that you have, and things that people do or say to you that you really should learn how to not give a fuck.

Some things just really aren’t worth your time and energy, so you should just shrug your shoulders and not give them another thought.

But when putting this into practice, it can be easier said than done. We are naturally programmed to react to things, to be emotional, to want to do our best, and to form bonds with people.

If things don’t go our way or people are horrible to us, it can be pretty damn difficult to turn around and say ‘actually, I don’t give a fuck.’ [Read: The art of not giving a shit – How to not care in 15 steps]

If you can learn how to not give a fuck, however, you could actually feel freer and lighter, more in control of your own destiny, and have far more energy and time to concentrate on the things that actually mean something to you. Who wouldn’t want a life like that after all?

Why do you want to learn how to not give a fuck?

Before you learn how to not give a fuck, you really should sit down with yourself and try to understand why you want to not care about anything. Sure, emotions can be uncomfortable, but to feel nothing at all is not the way to live life either.

So, here are some possible reasons you might want to learn how not to give a fuck. [Read: How to stop caring – 20 steps on how not to care and put yourself first]

1. Your childhood was difficult

Not all of us have loving childhoods. In fact, a lot of us don’t. Maybe your parents were cold and distant. Or perhaps they were toxic and abusive – or simply were absent. 

When you have a difficult childhood, it is hard to manage your emotions. Some people shut off completely from others and the world. While other people become hypersensitive to everything that happens to them.

So, if you are the kind of person who tends to be very sensitive, it could have been derived from your childhood. Maybe you desperately wanted your parents’ love and attention, and so you are still seeking this in life through other people. [Read: Child of a narcissist – 16 lasting effects you just can’t ignore]

2. You’ve been hurt by someone

If your parents were good and loving to you, perhaps you were hurt by someone else in your life. Some of the most common scenarios are when someone gets rejected by a romantic partner. Most of us have, but it doesn’t make it easy.

When this happens, you might harbor feelings for your ex. And if they just walked away and now seem like they are getting on with their lives just fine, this will cause you intense emotions.

It doesn’t even have to be an ex-romantic partner. It could be a friend, business partner, or family member. Regardless of who it is, you have been rejected and hurt and have a hard time getting over it. [Read: When people hurt you – how to deal with the pain and respond to them]

3. You think no one cares about you

Let’s face it – not everyone in the world is kind and loving. So, maybe you are in a situation in life where you feel alone. Maybe you feel like no one even cared in the first place, or perhaps they just recently expressed how they don’t care.

Or, it could all be in your head, too. Sometimes when we think no one cares, they really do – they just don’t show it the way we want them to. So, you are probably feeling overly emotional if no one is expressing good emotions toward you when you want them to.

4. Nothing in your life is going well

If you desire to learn how not to give a fuck, it might not have anything to do with other people. Maybe you are just overwhelmed with your life in general, and the emotions and stress are just too intense for you. [Read: How to make life easier – 20 steps to go from being exhausted to effortless]

When this happens, it’s common for people to want to just say, “I don’t give a fuck” because they feel out of control. It’s just a way of giving up in life. But you shouldn’t do that because you can always fix things. You just need to find a way.

5. You are too empathetic

Some people are just very sensitive to other people. They feel empathy almost too much. Empathy is literally feeling the feelings of other people. You’re like a sponge and take in everyone else’s emotions.

When you do this, it can just be too much for you sometimes. It’s difficult enough to deal with your own feelings, let alone everyone else’s. [Read: Too empathetic? How to detach yourself for a better life]

Regardless of the reason you want to learn how not to give a fuck, you also need to keep in mind that suppressing your feelings is not healthy long term.

You can do it, but they will find a way to manifest in other ways – even in your body. So, just keep that in mind when after you read about how not to give a fuck. [Read: How to be emotionless – 16 ways to lose feelings and gain control]

Here’s how to not give a fuck

Knowing how to not give a fuck actually requires a bit of practice. It can be difficult not to care, to shrug things off, and to let things go.

But once you have mastered the art of not giving a fuck, it can really feel quite liberating, and actually make you a better person as a result.

So how do you learn how to not give a fuck? Let’s take a look at some of the things you need to do. [Read: How to stop giving a damn about what people think]

1. Understand what it means

Not giving a fuck isn’t actually about not caring about anything at all. That’s a common misconception that people often get wrong.

There is a difference between not caring, and deciding you don’t give a fuck, which then spurs you to take action.

It might be ‘hell yes I’m going to audition for this play because I don’t give a fuck about whether my friends might laugh at me or my mum doesn’t think I can do it.’ Or, ‘I will apply for that job that seems way too advanced for me because I don’t give a fuck, and is it really going to be that bad if I don’t get it?’

Not giving a fuck is kind of like permanently having the attitude of ‘I’ve really got nothing to lose.’

If you can focus on that and understand that if you just loosened up, say goodbye to your fears, and grabbed life by the balls, some really amazing things could happen to you – so just go for it! [Read: 20 reasons why many of us care so much about what others think]

2. Learn what’s important and what isn’t

In order to be able to know how to not give a fuck, you are really going to have to learn what is important to you and what isn’t.

It’s dumb to actively try and not care about anything. But at the same time, it is important to learn what things matter to you. Focus on them always and just forget the rest.

If you are always focusing on your priorities and striving for your goals, you won’t give a fuck about anything else. You won’t let anyone get in your way, and you’ll say ‘to hell with the consequences!’

You won’t give a fuck about the things that aren’t important to you. So, the next time that you don’t get something you want or something you hoped you would, really step back and weigh it up.

Does it really matter? Do you really care? If the answer is ‘not really’ then just decide to not give a fuck and move on with your life – it’s as simple as that! [Read: 16 reasons why it’s so easy for others to take you for granted]

3. Get to know yourself

Getting to know yourself intensely is so important when it comes to really not giving a fuck. If you don’t know what matters to you, then you could end up making mistakes.

Having a bad attitude, being lazy, or deliberately refusing to do or care or acknowledge something because you are trying to hurt someone or get revenge on them just isn’t the way forward.

Besides, then everyone will see right through you too, and there is nothing worse than pretending you don’t give a fuck when you actually do.

If you aren’t convincing, then you’ll just end up looking like a fool. That’s why it is so important to get to know yourself, be in tune with your thoughts and feelings, and really accept that it’s totally cool to feel and to care – so don’t try to deny yourself that. [Read: 13 inspiring ways to bring out the best in yourself]

4. Weigh up the consequences

One other really important thing to remember when it comes to knowing how not to give a fuck, is that you need to think of the consequences of your actions all the time.

It’s all well and good not giving a fuck about things, but if you destroy everyone and everything in your path – is it really worth it?

You cannot give a fuck about most things without hurting other people, so always try to remember that – and also be really sure you aren’t going to have any regrets, or this isn’t going to come back and bite you in the ass another time.

5. Grow thicker skin

Not giving a fuck is also about having thick skin. You don’t have to become an emotionless robot or anything. But at the end of the day, if you are the kind of person who wears their heart on their sleeve and always gets quite emotionally sensitive about things, it’s going to be difficult to adopt an attitude of not really caring about things.

Try to accept the fact that disappointing, upsetting things happen to everyone, so you need to grow a thicker skin if you want to be better at not caring about them. [Read: 20 signs you’re a people pleaser and just don’t know it]

6. Be comfortable with it

If you don’t give a fuck, you have to own it. At first, it can seem a little weird adopting that attitude, it can feel rude or mean somehow.

But the more you practice the art of not giving a fuck the more you will begin to feel comfortable with it, and the more you will realize that it is not just about being rude or pretending like you couldn’t care less about anything.

It’s about zoning in on what’s most important to you, stopping at nothing when it comes to achieving your goals, and not letting negativity or disappointments get in the way of you enjoying your life. [Read: How to stop being so sensitive about everything all of the time]

7. Be confident in your choices

If you decide you don’t give a fuck, you have to really believe in yourself. Once you have made that choice, there is no going back. So, be confident and true to yourself.

In order to adopt that air of ‘no fucks given,’ you have to come across as confident and all in – then you’ll have discovered what not giving a fuck is all about and can lead a happier, healthier, more productive life.

[Read: Selfish people – 20 ways to spot and stop them from hurting you]

Knowing how to not give a fuck can actually be a very positive thing. Use these tips to practice and master the art, and you’ll soon reap all the benefits it can bring. 

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...