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The 8 Big Cons of Moving In No One Wants to Talk About

cons of moving in

Moving in together with your partner may sound like a lot of fun, but here are 8 big cons that you need to think about, even if it’s all hushed up!

People have tons of reasons for wanting to move in together. The fact that your partner is right in the same household as you drastically reduces the travel time whenever you want to see each other.

It also serves as the testing stage for when you eventually choose to get married. You’ll get to know each other better and you’ll be able to spend most of your time in each other’s company. [Read: 14 surefire ways to make living together before marriage work for you]

The 8 nagging issues of moving in together no one likes talking about

For all intents and purposes, moving in together is fantastic. However, you also have to keep in mind that it has its own set of cons. So before you pack your bags and move into your partner’s place or before you ask your partner to get ready to move, consider the following downsides of living with your significant other.

#1 You’ll get to know your partner a little too well. You may think you already know everything worth knowing about your partner, but think again. Living in the same household opens your eyes to a load of new insights, both good and bad. It’s not like a vacation where you’ll just spend a couple of nights together. Moving in means doing this on a day-to-day basis.

Sure, you may already be fine with all of your partner’s little quirks, especially if you’ve been together for a long time. But if you’re just a new couple, you may be surprised at what you’ll find out! This includes learning just how loudly your partner snores, how messy she can be with stuff, how little he cares for household chores and that sort of thing.

A tip for those who want to move in together: get to know your partner’s household habits and ask yourself if this is something you’re okay with.

#2 You may encounter space issues. If you’re the one moving in, you may feel like the space you’ll get in your partner’s pad is limited at best. Your significant other may already have a ton of stuff, and accommodating you means letting you have just a little spot where you can place your things. It may take a while before you can really feel at home in an environment that once belonged solely to another person.

On the other hand, it can also be tough if it’s your partner that’s moving in with you. Your partner definitely won’t have just one suitcase full of stuff. That means there may be some furniture, electronics, kitchen essentials, toiletries and other knick-knacks involved. This takes up a lot of space, and you may need to downsize what you own in order to make space for your partner’s belongings.

#3 You’ll need to have the budget talk. Living together doesn’t always mean you’ll have to split the bill for everything right down the middle. It means you’ll need to really discuss who will be spending for what. For instance, you’ll need to talk about who will be paying for the internet, the groceries, the utilities, the rent and other things that need to be paid for.

Will you be shelling out money depending on your income or will you go 50-50 on everything? Money isn’t the most comfortable topic of conversation, but in this case, it will be absolutely necessary. [Read: 17 brilliant money hacks for couples]

#4 You’ll need to do each other’s chores from time to time. You may say that you’ll be in charge of cleaning up your own mess, while your partner will be in charge of their share. But what about communal duties like dishes, laundry, mopping the floor or cleaning out the litter box?

You and your partner may not have the same views when it comes to chores as well. For instance, you may think that doing the laundry must be done once a week, while your partner thinks it’s more of a bi-monthly thing.

Whatever your stance on doing chores, you will need to meet in the middle if you intend to live in harmony. This might mean you’ll have to do some of the chores more often in order to keep up with your household expectations or this could mean sucking it up whenever the pile of laundry gets bigger and bigger each day!

#5 You may end up clashing over mundane things. You probably think you’ll never be the couple that would fight over silly things like what the color of the drapes should be or where your dining table should be placed or why there are towels on the bathroom floor, but these little differences in opinion can snowball to epic proportions.

Just imagine coming home, being stressed about work, and seeing that your partner hasn’t done that thing you asked them to do. You may end up taking out your frustrations on your partner, and this can simmer and boil over into a huge argument about something so trivial.

You know it’s not such a big deal, and you know that your partner doesn’t deserve your ire, but sometimes, you may not be able to help it when there’s no one else to pin your frustration on. [Read: There is a way to fight fair in a relationship!]

#6 There’s a potential decrease in quality time. Now hold on, you may be wondering how quality time would decrease when living together means having a ton of time together. The thing is, there’s a huge difference between quality and quantity.

You may think that the time you spend watching Netflix and having a post-dinner chat may be quality time. But in reality, the fact that you can do these things with almost no effort means that you’re more likely to take your time together for granted.

Imagine if you weren’t living together. You’d have to go the distance to meet up, and you’d make an effort to make your date worthwhile since you have to travel to be together. Knowing that your partner is right there and that you can hang out in house clothes may make both of you a little bit lazier to go out on a proper date. [Read: 8 little habits that strengthen your bond with your partner]

#7 You may get less “me” time. The presence of one other individual within your living space spells a huge difference. When you’re used to living alone, having another person around takes a lot of getting used to. When you crave some alone time, you may need to ask your partner not to bother you for a while. It’s great if your partner is very understanding, but that’s not always the case.

Your partner may feel like you’re isolating yourself and not sharing what’s on your mind. This can then turn into an argument wherein, if you lose, you’ll have to sacrifice your alone time just to avoid making your partner feel like you’re pushing him or her away.

#8 You might settle for this arrangement. For a lot of couples, living together is the phase where they start getting used to each other’s constant company before they get married. However, there are other couples who get so used to living together that one or both of them no longer feel the need to marry. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free, right? [Read: Are you afraid of commitment?]

This can then bring to light the issue of marriage and how necessary it really is. One party may feel like marriage is the only reasonable next step, while the other may feel like marriage is no longer necessary.

You need to be honest with your partner about this. Even if it means sounding like you’re pressuring your partner to walk down the aisle, you still need to voice out what you really want so you’re not just clinging on to the false hope that you will end up marrying!

[Read: 15 important things you need to know before you move in together]

Moving in together may seem exciting and fun, but it’s riddled with awkward moments and suppressed frustrations too. So don’t just ride on the highs and neglect the lows, remember these 8 cons and ask yourself if both of you are truly ready to move in right now.

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