Does going to parties make you uncomfortable? If it does, then you probably want to learn how to be the life of the party. Here’s how to do it.
You just got invited to the biggest party of the year! Congratulations! What does it matter, though, when you’re the person who always sits in the corner, silent and brooding over all the people who seem to have it together? Have no fear, you can still become the life of the party.
You’ve probably mentally cursed everyone who is the life of every party they attend. People just seem to flock to them without a second thought. They get the most attention and are always talked about—even weeks after the event has concluded.
What does it mean to be the life of the party?
Someone who is the life of the party is energetic, funny, and the center of activity during social occasions. They are very lively and just seem to enjoy festive events more than the average person.
Because that person is so happy and having a great time, this also enlivens everyone else at the party too. The life of the party becomes the core that attention goes to and positive energy flows from. [Read: Social butterfly – advantages of being outgoing and friendly]
Some things this kind of person might do include:
1. Telling jokes
2. Starting karaoke
3. Starting a dance party
4. Starting a game
5. Standing on a table and rounding people up to do a party train
These are just a few of the behaviors that someone who is the life of the party can do.
Why do you want to be the life of the party?
Before we teach you how to become the life of the party, you should do a little reflection yourself. Why exactly do you want to be the life of the party? [Read: 26 social mind tricks to be more outgoing, friendly, and talkative instantly]
Is it because you want to get attention from a lot of people? If so, why do you feel the need for so much attention?
Or maybe it’s because you simply want people to have a great time, and so you feel responsible for it.
Whatever the reason, it’s fine. But hopefully, your reasons aren’t out of insecurity, because being the life of the party won’t cure all of your problems. [Read: How to be charming – 15 adorable habits of really likable people]
With that said… Let’s learn how you can become more like the life of the party!
How to become the life of the party and be memorable!
This thought crosses lots of people’s minds time and time again. And they might conclude that they just couldn’t be compelling.
Apparently, there’s a type of person who just has “it,” and they think that they are not one of them. [Read: How to overcome shyness – 16 tips to transform your life]
But anyone can be the life of the party with just a few easy steps:
1. Get social
If you really want to be noticed by people, then just go talk to them. The best way to become the life of the party is to make sure people know you’re there in the first place.
Go up to some random people, join in their conversation, and introduce yourself. This is a great way to meet people and make new friends. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 conversation starters]
You’ll also never have to be stuck in a corner by yourself, daydreaming about the hottie across the room that you know you’ll never have a chance with. Instead, you’ll be talking to the hottie!
2. Make friends with the host
Not only is this basically an automatic invitation to any other parties they throw or attend, but you’ll also gain all the perks it offers.
This means they know everyone at the party, and if you’re hanging around with them, they introduce you to everyone they talk to. Score one for the painfully shy! [Read: How to make friends after college – 15 ways to make it effortless]
It’s a lot easier to introduce yourself to one person and have them do the rest of the work than it is to bashfully approach a group of strangers and attempt to penetrate their invisible—yet somehow immovable—wall.
3. Be drink savvy
Everyone’s favorite person at the party is the one who knows how to make the best drinks—for obvious reasons.
Being knowledgeable about how to make certain drinks ensures people will like you. It’s also a great way to meet new people if you’re shy. [Read: Popular alcoholic drinks – how to prepare them to impress anyone]
Word travels fast at parties, which means people will come up to you and ask you to make their drinks.
4. Bring out your inner dance diva
You know they’re in there. Bring them out! Hit the dance floor like you do when you’re boogying around your kitchen, waiting for that frozen pizza to cook. You may not be Channing Tatum from Step Up, but we know you can get down.
Even if you’re a bad dancer, people get a kick out of the fact you look hilarious when dancing, and you’re not afraid to show it! If you’re a good dancer, people want to dance with you. [Read: How to be funny and make people love your company]
Being the one to hit the dance floor is also a great way to make people feel comfortable and become the life of the party.
Some people may be shy and silently beg someone else in the room to break the ice first. You can be that person!
5. Be the music guru
Ask the host to help DJ the party. Everyone wants to be friends with the DJ so their favorite music gets played. [Read: 40 fun and upbeat songs to groove you out of that funk]
It’s also helpful to figure out the music genre most people like at the party and keep that groove going. Everyone appreciates the person who keeps the tunes rolling.
6. Bring treats
We’re not just talking brownies or cookies—although those are great options—we mean Jell-O shots, pudding shots, and other special drinks. Not only will this get you noticed immediately, but people will be coming up to you all night.
Especially after a few of those shots, the crowd will tell you how delicious they were and how awesome you are. [Read: How to talk at a party and make an impression]
Even after the party, people will be talking about how you brought great snacks to the event. It’s almost a guarantee people want you at the next party, too!
7. Dress to impress
That’s what you’re there to do, right? Impress? Then you’ve got to dress like it. Don’t show up in torn-up jeans and an old faded t-shirt—unless the party calls for it, that is.
If it’s a casual party, grab some nice jeans, throw on a simple top, and have at it. If you’re headed to a cocktail party or a fancier event, put some effort into it. [Read: 31 hot secrets to be beautiful and look and feel way more attractive in no time!]
And don’t even think about not dressing up if there’s a theme. You had better be the best mermaid out there if it’s an under-the-sea theme—even you, guys!
8. Take the pressure off
Sure, you want to be memorable and have people like you. That’s why you want to be the life of the party! But when you want something so desperately, you sometimes stress out too much.
But there’s no reason to. Just take the pressure off of yourself. Remember, you’re not saving the world here, it’s just a party. And parties are supposed to be fun! [Read: Signs of social anxiety that hold you back and how to overcome it]
You might not even see some of these people again. And they may not even remember you either. So, just think of the party as an opportunity to meet new people and have some good conversations. It’s no big deal.
9. Don’t try too hard
If you don’t take the pressure off yourself to be the life of the party, then you will try too hard. And while trying isn’t exactly a bad thing, sometimes it can come across as fake or desperate.
Everyone can tell the type of person who is just naturally the life of the party. It’s just in their personality and even their soul. They don’t even have to try to be that way – they just are. [Read: How to be yourself – 26 steps to unfake your life and love being you]
So, if you’re more of an introvert or even shy, it won’t be normal for you to act like the life of the party. But that’s okay! Everyone is different. Just be yourself and don’t think you need to transform into a completely different person.
10. Think of three conversation topics beforehand
It is a great plan to have at least three conversation topics ready to go before you even get to the party. And if you are someone who hates small talk or has a difficult time talking to strangers, this is especially helpful.
You could choose to focus on personal questions to ask someone such as “What do you do for a living?” or “Where are you from and how long have you lived here?” [Read: 50 funny conversation starters to keep you laughing and talking for hours]
Or, you could choose impersonal questions such as, “Did you see the game last night?” or “What do you think is the best country to travel to?”
Regardless of what types of questions you choose, just have them in the back of your mind so you won’t be tongue-tied if the conversation runs dry.
11. Compliment and transition
If you are shy about walking up to a stranger at a party and talking to them, you can use a strategy called “compliment and transition,” which is recommended by lifestyle blogger Kevin Kliethces.
Who doesn’t love to be complimented, right? Well, this is part of the strategy. All you need to do is find something about a person that you like, such as their tie, hairstyle, shoes, jacket, or jewelry.
Then, you walk up to them and compliment them on that. This will make them feel good, and then you can transition into introducing yourself to them. That way, you have a “reason” to talk to a stranger at a party.
12. Embrace small talk
There are a lot of people who despise small talk, especially introverts. But if you want to be the life of the party, you’re going to have to learn to embrace it. It’s just a reality. [Read: How to make small talk and talk to anyone without feeling awkward]
You could talk about the weather, the venue you’re at, or ask about their jobs. Sure, it seems boring at first. But it gets you closer to a better and more interesting conversation.
After you engage in a little small talk, then you can try to guide the conversation into something more interesting.
For example, if someone tells you that they are a doctor, ask them what the best and worst part of their job is. People love talking about themselves, so the conversation should flow pretty easily. [Read: 45 happy ways to keep a conversation going and be a lot of fun to talk to]
13. Ask open-ended questions
You want to avoid questions that someone could answer with just one word like, “Where are you from?” They could respond with, “New York,” and then that could be the end of the conversation. This goes for questions that can be answered with “Yes” or “No” as well.
Instead, ask open-ended questions such as, “If you won the lottery, what five things would you do first?” That way, the person has to think about it and give some interesting answers.
A big part of being the life of the party is the ability to guide a conversation and keep it lively and interesting. [Read: 80 funny and serious ‘what if’ questions that will make you the life of the party]
14. Watch your body language
Most people aren’t aware of their body language because it’s largely subconscious. But body language is responsible for 80-90% of the meaning of a message.
So, you need to be aware of the messages you are giving off with your body. For example, if you’re standing with your arms crossed, you look defensive and closed-off.
Or, if you are standing there slumped over looking at the ground, then you don’t look very confident. No one will want to approach you if you look all depressed at a party. [Read: Subtle body language moves to appear more confident]
Along with having confident and approachable body language, you could try some casual touching too. For example, when you’re talking to someone, you can casually place your hand on his or her arm. Touch usually triggers good feelings in people and it makes them feel special.
15. Have a drink
If you drink alcohol, then have a drink. It might relax you a bit more and you won’t be so nervous. There’s no better time to have a few drinks than when you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Not only will having a drink or two relax and loosen you up, but it can also provide an excuse to exit a conversation if you aren’t feeling it. You can simply say, “Oh, look! I think I need another drink. It was great meeting you!” [Read: Party hours – what your favorite drink says about you]
16. But be cautious of your alcohol intake
You can’t be the life of the party if you’re lying lifeless on the sofa with a penis drawn on your forehead. Nobody will even know you were there if you end up falling asleep somewhere around the house.
People don’t appreciate a sloppy drunk, either. You may be talked about after the party is over, but not in a good way. Stumbling around, falling on people, and hollering obscenities is no way to act.
Avoid making a fool of yourself. A good rule to follow is to have one glass of water for every two drinks you have. [Read: Social anxiety to social butterfly – how to be less awkward]
This always helps to drink the water a lot slower than the fruity mixers—giving you more time between drinks. It also helps you realize just how much you’ve drunk thus far.
17. Just be yourself
Sounds easy enough, but you’d be surprised how much people stray from being themselves when at parties. It’s just for attention, but it usually attracts the wrong kind of attention. [Read: How to stop overthinking – strategies for more peace]
Just act like yourself. Most of the time, people know when you’re not being genuine, and it’s off-putting. Being yourself and acting naturally opens people up. Bonus, they get to know you better.
You’ll also have way more fun being yourself rather than putting on a charade you’ll then have to keep up the rest of the night—and beyond.
Of course, you should ditch this tip if it’s a costume party and pretend to be a ninja turtle for a night. [Read: Love yourself first – where people go wrong, 36 whys, and how to do this right]
18. Remember: no one cares
You might be self-conscious and think that you’re going to be awkward, shy, or that you’re going to say something that you wish you hadn’t. But you have to realize that no one is judging you.
In fact, they are too self-involved for them to even notice much of what you say or do. You’re the only person who will notice, care, or remember what happened.
So don’t be worried that everyone is looking at you and laughing *and not in a good way.* They aren’t. That’s why you just need to relax, enjoy yourself, and have fun!
[Read: Ways to stop being boring and annoying around people]
Just like that, you’ve uncovered the secrets to becoming the life of the party. Now go out there, have some fun, and try out these tips. You never know what could happen!