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50 Secrets to Get Your Shit Together When You’re Feeling Really Stuck in Life

Feeling stuck in life sucks. But when you learn how to get your life together, you can start making moves toward something better. 

feeling stuck in life and ways to get your shit together

From time to time, everyone feels stuck in life. It’s normal to some degree, but it’s not normal to sit there and do nothing about it. When you learn how to get your shit together, your life can start moving again. Who knows where it may lead?

Of course, it’s completely okay to get lazy and take some time off, especially when you have one of those days when you’re just not feeling it. However, you should also know that life isn’t stopping for anyone, not even for you.

In learning how to get your life together, you’re the one who decides when you’re ready. And if you’re reading this, it looks like the time for change is approaching. [Read: How to be happy alone and 20 reasons why relationships are overrated]

What does it mean to get your life together?

Learning how to get your shit together basically means that you’re breathing new energy into your life and finally getting everything moving again. You look at what might need changing and do something about it. If you need to take responsibility for something, you do so.

When you learn how to get your life together, it’s a solemn promise to yourself that from now on, you’re going to get yourself unstuck and get things moving.

No more sitting around, wishing things could be different. Instead, you’re making plans and taking action. [Read: Small ways to deal with big changes in your life]

Why do you feel stuck in life?

The first step to learning how to get your shit together is to work out exactly why you’re feeling stuck in life in the first place.

When you do that, you can tailor your approach to the problem at hand, giving you a much better chance at overcoming it.

While your reason for feeling stuck in life might not be on this list, it’s very possible that it is too. See if any of these possible reasons resonate with you.

1. False objectives

This means that you’re going after something that you think you want, but in reality, you don’t. This habit likely comes from trying to please others, or from following the crowd because you think that’s what you should do.

2. Not knowing who you are

If you don’t know yourself, it’s almost impossible to make plans that reflect your true values and beliefs. Learning how to get your shit together will be difficult in that type of situation. [Read: Sense of self – what it is, 36 signs, tips, and steps to raise it and feel great]

3. Not showing your full capabilities

Why are you hiding your talents away? Perhaps it’s because you’re shy, insecure, or you aren’t aware you have talents. Either way, you’ll need to change. Get out there and show the world what you can do!

4. Not having enough support

Humans are social creatures, and if you feel that you don’t have enough support around you, it can lead you toward inactivity. That’s a recipe for feeling stuck in life.

5. Being in a bad relationship

When you’re in a toxic or simply bad relationship, you’re just not happy. How can you move forward with your life when you feel this way? [Read: Toxic relationship – what it is, 107 signs, causes, and types of love that hurt you]

6. You’ve outgrown your current situation

You know there’s so much more out there, but you’re scared to make a move. When you’ve outgrown a situation, it can be hard to move on. But it’s necessary if you want to breathe new energy into your life.

7. You fear external judgment

If you’re always worrying about what other people will think, you’ll never do anything. The truth is, you can’t please everyone, and shouldn’t want to!

8. You feel disconnected from your values

When you’re not connecting with your values, you’re not being true to yourself. It’s no wonder you’re feeling stuck in life. [Read: Self-concept – how we create and develop it to control our happiness]

9. You think a change might mean losing something

Change isn’t bad, but it’s normal to be fearful of it. However, don’t assume that change means loss. Instead, view it as an opportunity to find something new or even better.

10. You’ve lost hope for the future

It’s quite likely that you’re feeling stuck in life if you have lost hope for the future. You no longer see wonderful things on the horizon and just see much of the same.

If you want to know how to get your shit together, it’s time to start looking ahead.

11. You’re overwhelmed or burned out

Often, people who feel burned out or overwhelmed become numb to everything. They’re so emotionally overloaded, they can’t process emotions and thoughts anymore. [Read: Emotionally exhausted – signs and reasons why you’re drained]

12. Your positives vs. negatives list are in competition

You should always feel more positive than negative, and if the two sides are competing, you won’t know which way to turn.

13. You’re outside of your comfort zone

This is a common reason for feeling stuck in life. When you’re outside of your comfort zone, you’re confused and scared. That leads you to feel like you can’t, or shouldn’t, make any moves. [Read: Powerful steps to break out of your comfort zone]

Is being stuck really such a bad thing? Can it harm your life?

Realizing you’re feeling stuck in life can be a wake-up call to get up and do something about it. But whether it’s a good or bad thing depends on whether you actually take action or not.

If you do, it’s good because it motivates you to change. If you don’t, it’s bad because you’ll always be in that place.

When you allow feeling stuck to continue over the long term, you’ll become down, perhaps even depressed, and you’ll miss out on so many opportunities that could have brought you joy.

So, yes, feeling stuck and refusing to change can harm your life in many ways. [Read: 33 truths to overcome regret, deal with our bad choices and learn from it]

How to get your life together

Almost everyone goes through a phase where they don’t care about what they’re going to accomplish in life.

After all, it’s always fun to go partying and end up blackout drunk on your couch – until it’s not. This go-with-the-flow mindset might be fun for a short while, but you’ll eventually find yourself exhausted by this lifestyle. 

While it comes with no regrets, it does leave you with genuine life lessons. You might think back and realize, “Shit, I’m going to be twenty-six, and I haven’t done anything.”

Panic then starts to settle in and you get the urge to get your life together. This is the moment you realize you might’ve just screwed everything up. [Read: How to escape the Peter Pan syndrome and grow fearlessly]

However, you didn’t mess your life up.

No textbook tells you how you should be living life, and if there is, well, don’t read it. Everyone’s pace in life is different and there’s no reason why you should compare.

It might take you a while, but it’s never too late to figure out how to get your life together. You might be starting late, but better late than never, right? [Read: How to live a good life you’ll love and cherish]

1. Make your bed

This sounds weird, but it’s not! Making your bed has this peculiar way of making you feel productive, even if all you did is fix your bedsheets and pillows.

It’s a great way to start your day – not just to make your bed look good, but to sharpen your mind first thing in the morning. [Read: Your guide to growing up and facing life like a mature adult]

2. Get yourself a planner

Who knew being an adult would need this much organization? Well, the older you get, the more things you have on your plate.

Don’t just get yourself a planner, but actually push through in using it. Whether it’s your thoughts throughout the day or your to-do list, start scribbling things down. 

3. Create small goals

No, you don’t need to plan to climb Mount Everest *unless you want to*. These goals shouldn’t be huge. Instead, they should be small and achievable if you want to learn how to get your shit together.

Goals make you feel like you’ve got your life together as they give you a sense of direction and purpose.

Even if your goals are as simple as working out in the morning or finishing a book, they can still improve your life in the smallest ways. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]

4. Organize your space

When you have a lot of clutter surrounding you, it doesn’t just affect your space but also your ability to think clearly.

There’s no need to hoard things you barely need, whether it’s all the shoes, clothes, or other material objects you’re not using anymore.

We’re not saying you need to go entirely minimalistic on your home – but you do need to declutter and organize your space. You’ll feel yourself being able to think better once you’ve done this. 

5. Get a plant

That’s right, get yourself a fern or any other real plant. Getting a plant helps you learn to take responsibility in your life that isn’t as heavy as getting a dog or caring for a child.

They do need to be watered constantly and tended to, but it’s a manageable first step. If you can manage to keep a plant alive, you’re one step closer to getting your life together.

6. Don’t use a relationship to fix your life

As blissful as a relationship sounds, it’s not the key to getting your life together.

In fact, you might even project some of your personal issues into your current partner if you jump into a relationship to fix your life. A relationship will only do more damage than good when attempting to get your life together. 

7. Watch your self-talk

It’s funny how language can affect the way we think about ourselves. No matter how many people criticize you, no one can be harsh the way you are to yourself. Instead of talking down on yourself constantly, try changing your approach entirely.

If you wouldn’t talk that way to a best friend who’s going through something, then why would you be so harsh on yourself?

Give yourself a little credit because you’re more than your negative traits, even if you don’t see it yet. [Read: How to focus on yourself positively and create your own sunshine]

8. Surround yourself with the right people

The people you surround yourself with have the capacity to define which direction you’re going towards.

If you keep surrounding yourself with people who do nothing but party and lack self-discipline, you’ll never achieve your ambitions and success by hanging around them.

It’s easy to find people who are fun to be with, but it’s more challenging to find those who have the right set of values and mindsets that will encourage your growth. 

If you want to get your shit together, surround yourself with people who make you feel good and bring out your best potential.

9. Let go of the past

Yes, you should have done this or that. However, you can’t change the past no matter how much you dwell on it. The only thing it will do is make you feel stuck in your ways, which isn’t a way to live your life.

If you’re serious about accomplishing something in your life, think of the impact that living in the past will have on your life.

Instead of holding on to it, the best thing you can do is to let it all go. [Read: How to stop ruminating over your past and live your future]

10. Stop complaining

We all know how easy it is to complain about everything wrong with our lives. However, complaining can trigger a negative mindset.

So instead of focusing on the things you lack, why don’t you try focusing on the things you already have? This switch of mindset can do so much if you want to know how to get your life together. 

11. Focus on gratitude

We’ve mentioned above that complaining won’t get you anywhere, so you need to focus on gratitude instead.

If you’re wondering how to get your life together, remember that chasing happiness isn’t going to make you happy or bring your shit together. If you think happiness is a destination, think again.

Many people think they have to chase happiness without realizing that it’s a decision they must make every day.

Even if you’re surrounded by confusion and uncertainty, you’re capable of achieving joy if you just focus on gratitude instead. [Read: How to be happy again – 20 ways to draw happiness from within]

12. Self-reflect

Self-reflection is something you constantly see in the world of self-help, but it takes skill and patience to master. Where were you last year? How have you changed since then? Are you accepting of who you are and your flaws?

These are some of the questions you need to ask yourself if you want to learn how to get your life together.

It’s difficult to be introspective with yourself, but you need to ask yourself even the hard questions if you want to become better. 

13. Move your body

Your mind and body are interconnected whether you like it or not. It’s the reason why a physical activity like exercise makes you feel more productive and energized compared to a lifestyle without it.

If you want to learn how to get your life together, incorporating physical activity into your routine is the best way to achieve that. We know it sounds dull, but when you feel amazing, you won’t regret it. [Read: 25 inspirational tips to get motivated and work out]

14. Focus on your passions

You may not be doing a job you like, and that’s okay. Most of us are working jobs we don’t necessarily love, but we don’t have many options.

If you do have time to spare, don’t forget to spend time on the things that fuel your soul with fire and passion.

Even if it’s something as mundane as writing a poem, you’ll never regret spending time with the things that make you feel alive. [Read: How to find your passion and seek it in simple things]

15. Remind yourself that you don’t know everything

The more you expose yourself to different experiences and learnings, the more you realize that you don’t know even half of everything there is to know – not even close.

There are some things you simply don’t know, and that’s completely okay. If you want to get your life together, accept the things you don’t know and be open to learning them. [Read: 15 ways to live your life to the fullest]

16. Let go of destructive habits

Your habits can make or break your entire progress. Destructive habits such as drinking or partying will do more damage to your progress, especially in the long run.

Instead, choose to turn around your habits and incorporate healthier ones such as journaling and exercise. [Read: Avoidable habits that will change your life for the worse]

17. Change your environment

Just like you should surround yourself with the right people, your environment also plays a part in your progress. If you’re in an environment that no longer supports your growth, then maybe it’s time to change your surroundings.

If it’s possible, you should consider moving to a new city or changing your living conditions if it’s no longer working for you. That’s one way to know how to get your shit together.

18. Stop overthinking

Overthinking is a natural tendency, especially when you’re figuring out how to get your life together. However, you won’t resolve anything by overthinking.

More likely, you’re just giving yourself irrational scenarios to stress over that may or may not be true.

Your thoughts are the most powerful factor that plays a part in which direction you’re headed towards. By listening to your negative thoughts, you’ll never get your life together. [Read: Avoidable habits that WILL change your life for the worse]

19. Take action and get out of your comfort zone

The best way to get your life together is to do the necessary action to get there. Do you want a job? Fix your resume and go to several interviews. Do you want to be happier? Do the things that make you happy.

Life is much simpler than everyone’s making it out to be. If you want something, the only way to get there is to try and chase it yourself. 

20. Aim for progress, not perfection

If you’re a perfectionist or someone who wants things done a certain way, it’s easy to obsess over the small details. But that’s not how you get your shit together.

However, you won’t achieve anything when you focus on perfectionism, given that it’s an impossible standard to achieve.

As long as you focus on your progress, no matter how long it takes you, that should be enough. [Read: How to improve yourself – 16 powerful secrets of self-improvement]

21. Ask for help

It’s not the easiest thing to ask for help, especially if your pride and ego are getting in the way. But would you rather live a miserable life because you didn’t ask for help, or live your best life because you were humble enough to ask for help?

The latter would be better for your own self-improvement, so whether it’s asking for help from your parents, siblings, or friends, don’t hesitate to do so. [Read: How to be independent and balance seeking help and being stubborn]

22. Stop taking everything personally

Not everything is about you and until you realize this, you’re always going to take everything personally.

When your partner gets upset or when a hiring manager doesn’t call for an interview, it’s not automatically a reflection of your worst traits. You’ll never reach the point of maturity if you don’t stop. 

23. Set boundaries

The difference between people who have their shit together and people who don’t is their ability to set boundaries. If you keep letting others disrespect you and get frustrated as soon as they do, you won’t figure out how to get your life together.

It all starts by drawing the line between what you’re willing to accept and what you aren’t. [Read: How to set personal boundaries & guide other people to respect it]

24. Say yes to opportunities

Grab that job, say yes to uncertainty, and don’t be afraid to go for new opportunities. Of course, this doesn’t apply to saying yes to things that take your life on a downward spiral, but this goes for everything that will help you grow.

To learn how to get your shit together, don’t hesitate to say yes to all kinds of career opportunities that present themselves to you. You never know if one of them could be the right fit that nudges you in the right direction. 

25. Understand the consequences

Accountability is one word you need to master if you want to learn how to get your life together.

This means that every mistake or wrong decision leads to a certain consequence – and this is something you have to live with.

Only by learning to be accountable can you take full responsibility for your actions and learn to accept them. [Read: Be your own hero – what it means and how to take control of life]

26. Let go of the things you can’t control

No matter how much you want to, you really can’t control everything. Instead, you must learn to accept the things you can’t change and focus instead on the things you can.

The more you focus on things you can’t control, the more you’ll feel frustrated by them. When learning how to get your shit together, just let it go. [Read: How to control your emotions and become the pinnacle of restraint]

27. Track your progress

On your road to personal development, tracking your progress helps you stay motivated in moving forward and pushing towards a better life.

Every time you think there’s no progress or that your effort is useless, you need something to prove otherwise. You can track your progress in your journal, on your phone, or anywhere really. 

28. Delay gratification

You’ve been so used to instant gratification, but now it’s time to delay that to achieve your ambitions and goals instead.

If you keep your focus on superficial things like your Instagram followers or the next party with your friends, you’ll never accomplish anything. This is one of the situations where you should say no if it means pushing yourself toward success. [Read: Really quick stress busters to recharge your mind]

29. Journal

Most people don’t write down their thoughts. Instead, they simply have a ton of beliefs and other negative things running through their head.

So, if you think that one of the reasons you’re feeling stuck in life is because of all your negative thoughts, well, write them down.

Write in a journal every day. Then go back and read it. When you do, you might find that you were being overly dramatic when you wrote it, and it might give you the perspective you need to be more positive and get unstuck.

30. Write down the pros and cons of your life

Let’s face it – we live in a very negative world. So, it’s no wonder that you are stuck only thinking about what’s bad about your life.

You might want to do this exercise in your journal. But write down everything good and bad about your life. The purpose of this is two-fold.

First, you have to think about what is good about your life – something you might not be used to doing. And second, when you look at your problems, you can look at them more objectively and find a way to fix them. [Read: Mantras to live by – easy mantras that will transform your life]

31. Write down the essence of your life’s work

Maybe one of the reasons you’re feeling stuck in life is because you hate your job or career. Way too many people who are just going through the motions and dread going to work every day.

If you’re one of them, try this. What is the essence of what you want to do? Not the specifics such as saying, “I want to be a lawyer.” But questions like, do you want to teach? Do you want to sell things? Own a business?

What is it? Once you figure it out, consider a career change. [Read: 15 things everyone should know about how to live a happy life]

32. Join new clubs to meet new people

Join a professional networking group or try an intramural sport. Whatever you do, get out of the house, meet people you never would have met before, and try to become inspired by them.

Learning how to get your shit together means pushing past what feels comfortable to you, and just going for it.

33. Go back to school

Maybe you never finished your college degree, and now you are stuck in life because you have a crappy job. Well, why not go and get that diploma?!

A lot of new opportunities will open up for you if you have that piece of paper in hand. Plus, learning new things and meeting fellow students will help you feel alive and grow as a person. [Read: Follow your dreams – all the amazing reasons why it’s worth it]

34. Try online dating

If you’ve been single a long time, maybe that’s why you’ve been feeling stuck in life. Online dating isn’t for everyone, but it sure can be fun!

If nothing else, even if you don’t find The One, at least you might have some funny stories to tell someday. It’s kind of a win-win, and how to get your shit together, for sure!

35. Start working out

A lot of people just let themselves go over time and don’t take good care of their bodies. When your body feels like crap, you’re going to feel like crap too.

So why not join a gym? You will not only feel physically and mentally better, but you could also meet new people to either become friends with or even date. [Read: How to find your way back when you feel completely lost in life]

36. There’s no such word as ‘can’t’

One of the most destructive phrases in human language is “I can’t.” Sure, there are times when you really can’t do something, like be superhuman or cure cancer on your own. 

But if you stop saying to yourself that you simply can’t change, turn things around, or make your life anything but what it is, then guess what? It will always be the same.

Just removing the phrase “I can’t” changes things dramatically. Like a personal roadblock, putting a limiting factor on your life never ends well or helps you to accomplish your goals. It only makes you give up before even trying. [Read: 19 life quotes to motivate you to live a better life]

37. Take hold of the reins

Stop waiting for a catalyst to change if you want to know how to get your shit together. The only thing motivating you to move forward is you. Wake up every day and give yourself a task. 

It doesn’t have to be grand like running a marathon. Assign something as small as the act of getting out of bed.

Once accomplished, you will be able to move on to the next thing. Your goals grow bigger and bigger until you move past whatever limitation keeps you stuck.

38. Think positively

If you tend to be on the less-than-stellar end of most things, then look at the situation and try to find the silver lining.

Even the most drastic and horrible of experiences have something positive to take from them. If you always search for the “poor me” aspect, then you are making a scenario where you expect the negative. 

Expectations define outcomes, so unless you start to think positively, you most likely will continue to be confronted with hard times and you’ll always be feeling stuck in life. [Read: How to think positive and reprogram your mind to stay positive]

39. Organize your surroundings by prioritizing 

If you have 100 things to do, feeling stuck is normal. Being overwhelmed by our responsibilities makes us feel paralyzed. 

The best way to tackle too much on your plate is by making a priority list and checking things off one by one. Otherwise, you run the risk of falling into the clutches of procrastination. [Read: How to get your life together – 30 rituals to live your best life]

40. Stop playing the martyr

Indulging in a pity party every once in a while is normal. If you constantly send out the invitation and people stop coming, stop wallowing now.

If you want to know how to get your shit together, you need to remember that the world isn’t against you. Recognizing that allows you to reexamine what you might be doing to keep yourself stuck.

No one makes you a martyr but you. In fact, that is the whole definition, someone who puts themselves in harm’s way for a specific goal. [Read: The martyr complex – how to recognize the signs of martyr syndrome in you]

41. Stop playing the victim card

When you play the victim, you blame other people in your life for what is happening to you. No one can do something to you unless you choose to stay and let them.

When we blame it on someone else, we create a scenario where we don’t have to take responsibility for our own actions.

If you stop saying it is everyone else’s fault and you are just an innocent bystander, the control is much more powerful than the blame. It helps you get to where you want to be. [Read: Playing victim – signs and reasons why it always makes your life worse]

42. Get your vices under control 

If you use alcohol or drugs to cover up your negative feelings, then you only further foster them. When we self-medicate, we create a scenario keeping us stuck. The same goes for spending too much, compulsive eating, etc. 

Drugs and alcohol are depressants that only drag you down further and make you feel more out of control.

Stop using vices to make yourself feel better and seek help if needed. Take real physical action to change things in your life. [Read: Simple things you do to make your life much worse]

43. Take control of your money

Money troubles not only make you anxious, but they also ruin your livelihood. Take steps to get your finances and your debt under control and you’ve almost learned how to get your shit together.

If you are constantly being hounded, have bills hanging over your head, or just can’t seem to get ahead, then it is time to sit down and figure out a better plan.

Ignoring things, especially financial debts, will not make them go away. [Read: The lazy twentysomething’s guide to saving money]

44. Banish procrastination

If you think that placing your issues to the side means they aren’t going to resurface, you’re only kidding yourself. You create a mountain out of a molehill. 

Ignoring things until they are out of control or not fixable only makes them that much worse. It is okay to ask for help to get unstuck, it is not okay to pretend like it isn’t happening or that your problems will magically just disappear. [Read: 15 biggest millennial problems that reveal not all is Instagram-perfect in real life]

45. Start telling a different story

Think about when you tell someone the story of your life. Do you tell them about a tragedy or a triumph? There is mounting evidence to suggest that we all mentally construct our own “life story” and that we make our own reality.

Tell the story of the person you want to be, the triumphs you obtained, and the future self you intend to be. Write your own story of positive endings instead of a recount of failures, mishaps, and grief. [Read: The top 20 ways to stop feeling like an imposter in your own life]

46. Think all things are possible

If you don’t think all things are possible, then you’ll never try. If you want to be a doctor, sure it will take a bazillion years of schooling, but if you tell yourself you can do it—guess what? You can.

Stop telling yourself what you can’t do and convince yourself that with some hard work and putting your all into it, nothing will stop you. Roadblocks are all in your head. Where there is a will, there literally is always a way.

47. Make incremental changes every day, even just 1%

If you want to take back your life, stop thinking of all you must do. If you make one small change every day, only one, soon you’ll find you create an overall change.

You are no longer the person on the same destructive mission that you are now.

Stop thinking about the total transformation and focus on doing one small thing to improve your life daily. You will be shocked by the major change. [Read: 48 real secrets to change your life and find the right path when you’re lost]

48. Break your grand dreams into smaller ones

Figuring out how to get your life together again is hardest when you don’t know where to start. Like someone who needs to lose 100 pounds, it sounds super daunting.

But, if you break up the goals into smaller attainable ones, then you feel much more accomplished. It encourages you to continue for bigger challenges.

You can have pie-in-the-sky dreams, but they are rarely attainable until you break them into smaller and more realistic benchmarks. [Read: Daily habits to change your mind and life]

49. Eliminate bad friendships

Sometimes we lose sight of our goals in life because those around us aren’t the most motivating. If you have friends who are seemingly going nowhere and are okay with it and aren’t lifting you up, it is time to find some friends who push you to do better and achieve your dreams.

Bad friendships are one of the worst distractions in life. Friends are supposed to support you in wanting more. If that isn’t the case, find supportive people in your life to take their spot. [Read: 15 ways to get the friend you need in life]

50. Take a leap of faith

Sometimes we feel out of control in life and are afraid to be all in just in case things go south. If you aren’t happy with where you are right now, throw caution to the wind, and set a course that you can’t back out of.

If you don’t believe in yourself and give it all you have, then who else is going to? Take back your life by believing in your own capabilities. [Read: 17 ways to welcome positive energy in your life]

Learning how to get your shit together is the route to happiness

Getting your life together won’t be easy. If it were, then we would all have our shit together. Staying stuck fulfills the self-fulfilling prophecy, leading to a life filled with hopelessness and despair.

If you can identify what is keeping you where you are, then changing it becomes that much more reasonable and realistic.

[Read: Sabotaging your happiness – ways most of us ruin our own lives]

Now you have the tools to know how to get your life together. It may be a challenge in the beginning, but once things settle down, you’ll be happy you pushed through the obstacles.

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of LovePanky.com, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...