It’s one thing to date a feminist. But it’s an entirely different thing to date a radical feminist. Read on to find out which one you’re dating.
Before we get down to whether or not your girl is a feminist, let’s look at what constitutes as a radical feminist. A radical feminist, by definition, is a person, not necessarily a female these days, that considers the long-standing superiority of men in society as a hindrance to women’s empowerment.
They firmly believe, in the fact, that men have been pulling the strings for a very long time, and that it is time to change the system by putting more women into power. As a woman, I agree with their core beliefs, but radical feminists are more aggressive when it comes to promoting their ideals.
They have jobs, but they spend a significant amount of time thinking about or acting on the ideals of their cause, which is to bring down the patriarchy in our society. It’s a little bit of “You go girl!” added with a touch of “Get down on your knees, you masculine scum.”
Don’t get me wrong. Radical feminists aren’t crazy. They’re just passionate. But sometimes, that intensity can confuse other people and give them the wrong idea. Apart from that, there are certain sects of radical feminists that kind of hate men. To each his own, but I for one don’t believe in promoting hate in order to further a cause. [Read: What do women want from men in a relationship?]
So what does this have to do with dating?
Because of their ideals, radical feminists are more apt to notice behavioral inconsistencies with the men they are dating. Sometimes, your career choice and your actions can offend them in surprising ways.
They’ve done their research and studied their cause. They look at the big picture, but their ideals can still affect their relationships with men. Obviously, being in a relationship would mean that you will inevitably discuss your ideals and belief systems.
Radical feminists consider their beliefs absolute, and any person who goes against it will be considered detrimental to their cause’s progress. If you don’t agree with them, they might still passive-aggressively go out with you. But they’re more likely to dump you, just because you think that you should make more money than them and that everything’s peachy keen and dandy.
How to know if you’re dating a radical feminist?
There are no physical signs that show that a woman is a radical feminist. It’s highly unlikely that they would wear a shirt that says “Feminist” on a date with a man, right? They’re not interested in registering you for the cause. They just want a nice and friendly date with an open-minded man.
Some of you may be interested in knowing how to behave around a radical feminist. If you believe the hype, then it’s possible that you’re a little scared and nervous about encountering one, right? Don’t be. They’re still girls. They just have a different way of viewing things.
How to spot a radical feminist
Still on the fence on whether or not you’re with a girl who’s a radical feminist? Here are the signs.
#1 They will tell you. The basic premise of being a radical feminist is to let everyone know who they are, in order to promote a non-gender-biased environment that can be considered as one small step for womankind. Apart from that, they know that dating a feminist can be a lot on someone’s plate, and they’ll want you to know so they can cross you out if you don’t like that fact.
#2 Conversation topics. It’s pretty easy to see who the feminists are once the conversation starts. They usually get to the point and directly ask about your views on a certain event that revolves around sexism or patriarchal offenses. Some topics to watch out for are women in the workplace, a female politician, a female celebrity, your views on wages, to name a few. They are testing your integrity and your willingness to accede that women should be treated as equals or as your superior. [Read: 14 charming ways to impress her on the first date]
#3 Bechdel-approved movies are a must. The Bechdel test rates a movie based on three criteria: the number of named female characters, the females characters must converse, and their topics need to be about something other than men. If you want to have a peaceful film viewing, make sure that it passes these three criteria.
#4 The check. There will always be a battle for the dinner bill, the cab fare and possibly the flowers you bring. Radical feminists don’t reject thoughtfulness out of spite. They just have something to prove, and it’s easy to do that with money.
#5 Emphasis on their sexuality. They are on a date with you. They’re not lesbians. You will know that. It’s understandable that they have to lay it out for you in case you’re wondering. A lot of people misconstrue feminists as anti-men, which means that they’re only pro-women. The misfortunes of other fellow feminists have taught the present ones to lay it all out, so there won’t be misunderstanding or a misguided attempt at a threesome. [Read: 14 cock blocks you could bump into]
#6 They feel the need to reassure you. They will always try to defend their stance as a feminist who dates. They can’t help it. They need to feel safe with you and in order to do that, they have to explain to you that being with them can be taxing, but they just want the same thing you do – a relationship.
#7 A lot of things you do will be sexist. Radical feminists are inherently defensive about their rights as a woman. An act of chivalry can be offensive. An offer to pay can be demeaning. I can’t list all the things that might tick them off, but it helps if you ask them first before doing anything. You might get an earful once you do, but at least you managed to avoid offending them more than you apparently have. [Read: 25 biggest deal breakers for women]
#8 She’s always right. A lot of feminists admit to being a little stubborn. Most of their arguments tend to end up with them having the last word. Some men can’t handle this, but it’s better for radical feminists to date someone who can go toe-to-toe with them during conversations, rather than someone who is willing to just shut up and go with the flow.
#9 If you’re not a feminist, they won’t date you. Most feminists admit that they cannot stomach dating anyone who won’t agree with them. Depending on the type of person you’re dating, they might not be asking too much of you. Every feminist just wants progress in the world for their fellow women. They just want equality, fair pay and a chance for women to help make the world a better place. [Read: 9 reasons men get rejected by the women they want]
I don’t even know why dating a feminist is such a big deal. You can still come across different issues with every woman that you could possibly date. We are all different. We believe in different things. We have the ability to think for ourselves and react to our surroundings without needing a cause like feminism.
The fact that we are women in the 21st century already makes us feminists. We know what we want. If that means dating a man who is kind and good and shares the same beliefs as we do, then nothing can take away our right and power to do so.
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