Getting mixed signals from a girl is a fact of dating life. It can be quite confusing and frustrating. But men have no other choice but to deal with it.
Men who have experienced dating are familiar with the frustration of getting mixed signals from a girl. To illustrate, it’s like dealing with a semi-bipolar person where you’re constantly thrown into a tug of war between moments of sweet affection, and bouts of cold, cruel indifference all happening in less than a day for no apparent reason.
Needless to say, this kind of ordeal can drive any man crazy to the point of giving up. If only women knew how to communicate their true intentions directly, you can imagine that the world, or at least relationships, would be less complicated.
The rules of attraction are simple. When you like a person, you tend to talk to them a lot, spend time with them, or get physically intimate. On the other hand, people that we don’t want anything to do with are met with indifference or the occasional hostility. We are consistent with the emotions we show to the people we like or hate.
With mixed signals, you get a wavering dose of both. It is the proverbial blowing hot and cold. You experience affection and attention at first, and moments later she treat you like a suspicious stranger before switching to her sweet disposition once again. [Read: 16 clear signs you’re in a narcissistic relationship]
Why do girls give mixed signals?
#1 She is legitimately undecided with you. Given the benefit of the doubt, there are rare instances where a girl blows hot and cold because she is legitimately undecided on whether to consider your advances or not. Men sometimes need to understand that some girls just experience second thoughts when it comes to their men. They must accept the fact that receiving mixed signals will be a part of the dating process. [Read: 10 ways to read mixed signals and turn it into love]
#2 She has an indecisive personality. While the first category is experiencing a genuine dilemma, these kinds of girls have a truly indecisive streak in their DNA. They are the types who will take hours to choose an item from the menu. And they will probably switch orders at the last minute. Only bad luck will have it that they also show this indecisive behavior when it comes to considering a man’s affections.
#3 She’s testing your patience. Some women with an extreme personality are always on the lookout for a specific kind of man who can handle her in a relationship. And as a test of your patience, she often resorts to giving mixed signals to see if you’ll handle her antics in case she decides to go out with you in the future. [Read: Shit tests – What they are and how to pass them all]
#4 She’s a bit flirty and probably entertaining other men besides you. Girls love their share of attention and if you were in a place where multiple girls chased you around, wouldn’t it feel great? In this case, a girl may give a man mixed signals if she’s keeping him in reserve along with countless other men.
They will show you a bit of affection, sufficient to keep you chasing her tail while she basks in the glorious attention that the other guys on her list give her. Being in this position can be a real bummer. At least you know that you’re not the only guy who getting her dose of mixed signals. [Read: 15 signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere]
#5 She wants to play hard to get. In some situations, the girl you’re pursuing really likes you but chooses to play hard to get for several reasons. One of these is to protect her pride as a woman. Compared to men, women take rejection harder and never fully reciprocate the affections of a man who showed her some interest. She gives mixed signals to keep you going until the time is right.
The second reason, women think men are more attracted and loyal to women they had to pursue first. By giving a man mixed signals and “toying” with him a bit, there is some assurance that the man will stick with her longer than the one who did not give any form of effort in getting the girl. [Read: Is she playing hard to get or just uninterested?]
Dealing with mixed signals from a girl
There are several ways to deal with mixed signals from a girl depending on her reason for why she’s throwing them in the first place. The first step is getting to know the girl you pursue and how she plays her game. In the end, your goal is to move things forward and take you seriously. After all, you’re spending time and effort for her to reciprocate.
#1 Play her game and let her have a taste of her own medicine. Girls are not the only ones who can give mixed signals! You can tame the proverbial shrew by reacting accordingly if she gives you the cold shoulder. If she’s a girl who genuinely likes you, she will be alarmed by the fact that her wishy-washy attitude may push you away for good. This way, she takes you more seriously and drops the mind games for good. [Read: How to play hard to get with a girl and do it just right]
#2 Escalate your game and be more aggressive. If a girl uses the mixed signal tactic to test you, take it as a sign to up the ante. Be more aggressive and straightforward in your pursuit of her. If you were previously timid and prone to adopt the good guy persona, maybe this time you sweep her off her feet by with a little more attitude.
#3 Ask her upfront and call her out. This is a very tricky route, but if done correctly, you show your resolve and you’re not one to play around. Asking her upfront may come as a shock and take her aback, but if you stand your ground and talk to her sincerely, she may appreciate your honesty and straightforward manner. [Read: How to stop playing relationship games and focus on love instead]
#4 Forget about her. This is usually the last resort and reserved for girls who are only into you for the attention you give them. If from the beginning you’ve seen red flags that pursuing her is a lost cause, don’t waste any further effort. Direct your attention to another girl.
There are a bunch of reasons you could get mixed signals from a girl. It all falls on guys to understand how mixed signals work and come up with ways to deal with it to move the romantic pursuit forward.
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Paul Timothy Mangay
Paul aka Morty is a keyboard-pounding cubicle-dweller based in Manila where he occasionally moonlights as a writer for anyone in need of his mediocre word-strin...