40 Warm Ways to Comfort a Girl When She’s Crying, Sad, or Feeling Down

Knowing how to comfort a girl is a key skill you need to know. Understand how to soothe her fears and make her feel better in an instant. 

how to comfort a girl crying feeling down

Girls are really interesting – they’re sensitive and tough at the same time. They like to take care of themselves but also like to be taken care of, and have certain ways they prefer to be comforted. So understanding how to comfort a girl is important.

Girls differ greatly from guys in this way because of the way they process emotions and information. Guys like to process things internally, whereas girls prefer to have someone to talk to and vent their worries and fears. [Read: How to help someone up when they’re feeling down and depressed]

Most guys just don’t comfort girls the right way

It’s not necessarily a guy’s fault when he can’t comfort a girl the right way. The truth is that guys are just so different. What comforts a guy most likely makes the situation worse for a girl.

That being said, you need to learn how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or sad in the right way in order to avoid getting on her bad side and making matters worse. It’s also really good to be able to comfort your girlfriend in a relationship because that’s part of your job as her significant other!

Why a girl needs comfort

There are many reasons why a girl might be upset or crying – far too many to list here. But we can give you a few ideas on why she might need comfort and the potential reasons behind her sadness and tears. [Read: Loving someone with depression – Why it’s not your job to fix them]

1. She’s going through a life-changing experience

Maybe she’s going through something big, and it’s making her feel stressed and unsure. She may be stuck in her own head at this time and feeling worried about all sorts of different things.

Giving her a little reassurance could be all it takes to make her feel better.

2. It’s the time of the month

It’s not the best idea to come out and ask her if this is the case, but simply bear in mind that it could be the reason behind her sadness. Hormones can make a girl feel up one moment and down the next.

Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s sad or crying is important if it’s her time of the month – but you need to approach this one carefully! [Read: 30 things to do to comfort a girl on her period]

3. She just feels a little sadder than usual

Sometimes we all feel a little down, and we can’t really pinpoint the reason why. Moods ebb and flow, and perhaps she’s just having a down day and needs a little comfort from you.

4. She misses her loved ones

If she’s away from her family and friends, she may be down because she’s feeling homesick or missing those she’s close to. Cheer her up and suggest she video calls her nearest and dearest – technology can make us feel much closer than we really are these days. [Read: How does it really feel when you miss someone?]

5. She witnessed something traumatizing

If she saw something that upset her, it’s likely to stick in her mind for a while. Support her during this time and don’t push her to do anything she doesn’t want to do.

If she witnessed something really traumatizing, she may need a little professional help, and you could encourage her to reach out.

6. Something triggered her

We all have things that trigger us and make us feel upset or sad about something that happened in the past. If she’s encountered a personal trigger, be there for her until she finds her feet again. [Read: Signs of anxiety – How to read the signs ASAP and handle them better]

7. Post-sex crying

Have you ever had your partner turn out the waterworks after a particularly randy romp? If you think she’s crying because she’s happy, you’re right! However, if you think she’s crying because the sex blew *and not in a fun way* then… well, you might be right about that too.

8. Manipulation

This particular reason why a woman is crying is sad but true. And we definitely don’t condone this reasoning, but women are pretty good at manipulating men with their tears. After all, most men are quite uncomfortable around crying people.

She’ll say things like, “Come to this party. Oh I know you don’t want to go to,” or “Don’t be mad at me,” or “Don’t make me do this thing.” And the list goes on and on!

Hey, we never said it was an honorable reason to cry, but it can be a true one. [Read: How can women manipulate men so easily?]

9. She’s stressed and frustrated

When pushed to the brink of frustration, some women may begin to cry. If you’re pissing her off and she’s at the brink of her patience, she might burst into tears.

Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s crying, for this reason, can be tricky.

10. She could be crying because she’s happy

On the opposite spectrum of being bummed, women can also cry when they’re feeling beyond jazzed about a certain situation. That’s right, there’s just no winning! [Read: Secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]

How to comfort a girl the right way

There is no longer a reason to panic when your girl gets upset—or even any girl in your life. You benefit from helping your sisters, cousins, or even your mom!

If you can’t comfort a girl the right way, it can be hard to maintain a strong relationship with them. These tips can help you understand how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or down without making things worse.

1. Listen to her situation without interrupting

And we mean REALLY listen to her talk about her issues. Don’t just sit there pretending to listen to what she’s saying but then drift off into your own world. You have to hear her situation out and try to understand what she’s going through. [Read: How to be a better listener in your relationship]

2. Give her a consensual hug

Hugs make everything better for girls—unless you’re the problem, of course. Otherwise, give her a hug and just sit in the hug for a moment or so. The physical contact makes her feel better and relieves some of that stress.

However, make sure she’s happy for you to hug her – she might be feeling super-sensitive and just not want anyone that close. Check by saying, “I want to hug you, is that okay?”

3. Speak softly and gently

Girls can be very vulnerable creatures at times, and when they get upset, it just heightens their emotions that much more. If you talk to her in a harsh manner or even yell for some reason, you’ll just set her off again.

Use a soft tone, and it’ll be soothing to her. [Read: Insightful lessons to help you have a better life]

4. Offer your opinion and advice

Whatever’s going on with her, you probably have an opinion. This is where you have to be careful, but you can definitely tell her what you think.

If you think she may be overreacting, you can tell her that. Just use better word choices. Saying something like, “Are you sure it’s really THAT big of a deal?” won’t help.

You can even give her some advice about how you might handle the situation if you were in her shoes. Make sure to tell her it’s how YOU would handle it and not that that is how SHE has to do things. [Read: Long-term relationship advice – tips to transform your love life]

5. Never tell her to “calm down”

This is the single WORST thing anyone could ever say to a girl when she’s upset. She will take this as “you’re being crazy and unreasonable,” even if that’s not how you mean it.

Avoid saying this at all costs if you want to walk away from her with your relationship fully intact. [Read: 19 annoying boyfriend traits and how to avoid them]

6. Tell her how strong she is

No, not that she could punch a hole through a brick building, but rather that she’s emotionally stronger than the issue at hand. Tell her she’s been through worse. That she can get through it no matter what and that you believe she can.

7. Make sure you take her side

Never take the opposing side when a girl is upset. No matter what you really think, if you want to comfort a girl the right way, you take her side.

If you don’t, she’ll just think you’re trying to argue with her, and that will wind her up. [Read: What is the cheerleader effect?]

8. Don’t make snap judgments

If you want to know how to comfort a girl the right way, never start assuming things right away. If you interrupt her and sound like you’re judging her, she’s going to be really angry with you. She’ll get even more upset.

In order to comfort her right, you can’t make judgments about what she’s going through.

9. Take her to her favorite place to eat

Food comforts pretty much everyone. When you hear that she’s upset, offer to take her out to her favorite place to eat while you talk about what she’s going through.

The familiarity of her favorite place will lift her spirits, and your presence will comfort her. [Read: 33 awesome date ideas every couple should try]

10. Talk about good memories

This is a tactic that works more by distracting her than anything else. If you relate these memories to her current problems, it’s even better. Bringing up good memories helps ease her mood and make her happier.

11. Give her extra attention

She might need more attention than normal during this time. She’ll want more hugs, kisses, and even more compliments from you. So go right ahead and give them to her.

Feeling appreciated and loved comforts any girl, no matter her issue. [Read: Attention men – The big thing you must do more often]

12. Get her mind off her issues by taking her on a date

Distraction is fantastic for comforting a girl! Even though it’s not directly dealing with the issue at hand, getting her mind off the issues by going out and having fun puts her in a better mindset to deal with those problems. Also, she’ll credit you for making it happen.

So take her bowling. Take her to see a great new movie. Take her mini golfing. Just take her out to do something fun to make her completely forget about the problems she’s facing. [Read: How to cheer your girl when she’s feeling down]

13. Make her laugh

Be funny! If you can make a girl laugh, you’ll comfort her almost instantly. Tell jokes, be goofy, and even fall in order to make her laugh. When you cheer her up by making her laugh, you comfort her the right way.

14. Let her know you’re always there for her

Girls like to know that they’re not alone in their problems. If you really want to comfort her, make sure she knows she can go to you for any problems in her life, big or small.

Knowing she has someone that cares enough to be there is such a comforting feeling for girls.

15. Read her body language

If the girl in front of you wants a comforting hug, her body language will let you know. Similarly, if she wants her own space, she’ll make it known. Just be perceptive. If you still can’t figure it out, it never hurts to ask! [Read: How to read people – The secrets to figure anyone out instantly]

16. Reassurance is everything

Most women like communication, especially when they are emotionally stressed out. If she’s crying, just communicate with her. Reassure her that everything is going to be fine, and tell her you’ll figure it all out together.

17. Acknowledge her feelings

There is nothing worse than not having your feelings acknowledged. If you don’t do this, she’ll feel like you’re not taking her seriously, and that will make everything ten times worse.

Say something like, “I understand you’re feeling frustrated right now, but we’ll sort it out together.” That not only shows her you know how she’s feeling, but it shows that you’re on her side too. [Read: How to express your feelings – 16 must-know ideas to speak your mind]

18. Make it clear you support her

If she knows that you’ve got her back no matter what, it will help her to feel better. Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or just feeling down is largely about her understanding that she doesn’t have to face things alone.

19. Be silent together

Sometimes you don’t have to speak. Maybe she just wants to sit in silence with you by her side so she knows that you’re there. If that’s what she wants, and you sense that she doesn’t want to speak, just sit with her.

Hug her, hold her hand, or just stroke her hair. [Read: How to communicate in a relationship – 16 steps to a better love]

20. Ask what you can do

This is the simple act of saying, “I know you’re feeling down, what can I do to make you feel better?” There might not be anything you can do, but the fact you’ve asked and shown interest in making her feel more upbeat will go a long way.

21. Show empathy

Empathy is a very strong tool we all have at our disposal. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine how you would feel and how you would act. It will filter through in all of your actions and let her know that you’re right there with her. [Read: How to develop empathy and master the art of growing a real heart]

22. Don’t try to fix it

It’s quite likely that she doesn’t want you to go bulldozing in and trying to fix whatever the problem is. Instead, just be there and support her. If there is an issue to be solved, she will want to be the one to do it – her way.

23. Cheer her up with a simple gift

A small gift shows her that you’re thinking of her and you’re doing your best to make her smile. It doesn’t need to be anything huge; it can be something as simple as her favorite coffee or a chocolate bar you know she loves. It’s the thought that counts. [Read: The best gifts you can give your partner]

24. Show some humor

If all else fails, try to make her laugh. Depending upon her mood and situation, this may or may not work, but it’s worth a try.

Just don’t make fun of her situation; keep the humor subject light and away from her troubles.

25. Show some positivity

Try and put a positive spin on whatever the issue is. For instance, if she tells you that she’s feeling down about her vacation being over and having to go back to work, suggest you start looking to book the next one.

Positive thoughts are infectious, and the more upbeat you are, she will start to feel it for herself. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to a happy and dramatic life shift]

Things to avoid at all costs!

If you want to learn how to comfort a girl when she’s crying or just generally down, do not do any of the following. If you do, you’ll make everything ten times worse!

1. Don’t laugh at her

If a woman is crying and your knee-jerk reaction is to laugh, well, you’re a jerk. Still, for some people, laughter is a natural albeit nervous reaction. If this has *you* written all over it, let your partner know beforehand so they aren’t so shocked by your seemingly heartless behavior. [Read: Biggest dating turn-offs for women]

2. Don’t make tasteless jokes

This is a tricky reaction to crying that could either make you the most charming person ever or a total a-hole.

Maybe you’re an at-home stand-up comedian, and you think you could make a priest laugh at a funeral! Great, good for you. That doesn’t mean she wants you to utter wisecracks while she’s sobbing her mascara off.

When using humor, you need to tread carefully. Tasteless jokes will not help you here. [Read: Annoying boyfriend traits and how to avoid them]

3. Don’t freeze and stare blankly

When a woman is crying, it’s usually customary to ask her if she’s okay, make a move to hug her, or apologize if you’re being a dick! Nothing – and we mean nothing – is going to make a woman crying feel more invalidated than a blank stare.

Look, we know it’s uncomfortable. But there’s nothing scary about water falling from your girlfriend’s eyes. So don’t ignore her!

If you want to learn how to comfort a girl when she’s crying, freezing isn’t going to help! [Read: How to apologize to a girl when you know you messed up]

4. Don’t try to come onto her

If you try this, you deserve the slap that will probably come your way. She’s upset about something, and that doesn’t mean you can use that vulnerability to get laid.

Maybe you mean it innocently; you might think a kiss and a cuddle might take her mind off things. Wrong. If you want to learn how to comfort a girl when she’s crying, know that any type of intimacy she’s not welcoming is off the cards. [Read: Moves to seduce a woman and get her in bed]

5. Don’t just leave

Whether she’s a frequent crier or she only turns on the waterworks when things are especially dire, leaving is probably not a good idea. No matter how uncomfortable or angry you feel, don’t bail on your favorite female.

And if *she* leaves, there is a 97% chance that she’s standing outside the door waiting for you to chase after her. [Read: Bad habits that will make your partner want to leave you]

Remember, tears are nothing to be scared of!

It can be quite worrying to be faced with a crying woman, but remember that tears are a very natural thing! Even the toughest of guys have cried at some point, and you no doubt have!

If you’re not particularly comfortable around a crying woman, use your empathy and put yourself in her place. That should help you to open up and do your best to comfort her.

[Read: 20 easy ways to make your girlfriend incredibly happy!]

Learning how to comfort a girl when she’s crying can be a challenge for those that aren’t familiar with girl problems. If that’s you, these tips save you the struggle of dealing with an upset girl!

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...