Girly Things: What Your Girlfriend’s Really Gossiping About

What does your girlfriend really mean when she says she’s talking about girly things? The answer may surprise and horrify you.

Girly Things

Have you ever asked a girl what she was talking to her friends about? Or how she spent her night and she responded: “Just… girly things?” This code is meant to scare you off and make you believe she and her friends talk about menstruation or boring topics like makeup and nail polish. The reality? Her conversation is probably a lot more scandalous than she’s letting on.

Indeed, her girly things conversation probably traveled over such topics as sex, vaginas, Starbucks, your most recent argument, and that weird dream she keeps having about sleeping in a laundry basket. We’re letting you in on the truth behind her girl talk. Here we’ll explain what she wants you to think she’s talking about, why her aversions work, and what she’s really talking to her girlfriends about.

What she wants you to think

If your girlfriend doesn’t want you to know what she’s really talking about she’s probably going to use these go-to methods of brushing you off. Here’s what she wants you to think she’s telling her girlfriends and why these topics work.

#1 Her period. Pads, tampons, the new and elusive Diva Cup. Her period topics range anywhere from cramping, sex while menstruating, spotting in her favorite undies, and sore breasts. Riveting, right?

Why you don’t care: The subject of blood coming out of a place that you would prefer to think of as sexy probably doesn’t top your list of conversation topics. [Read: 5 reasons you might want to pass on period sex]

#2 Hair, nails, makeup. Girls talk about their favorite beauty gurus on YouTube, scandals with vaguely famous online personalities, what color she’s getting her nails done, and how to keep her blonde the blondest it can be.

Why you don’t care: She may share your love of video games because, hey, that’s fun for her too. But you sharing her interest in eyeshadow pigmentation? That’s just weird. Unless you’re buying her products for her hair or the latest eyeshadow palette, these are all things you don’t need to know.

#3 Birth control. Loss of sex drive, increased or decreased acne, bloating, weight gain, boob size, weird periods, and worrying about being pregnant are all conversation topics under the birth control umbrella.

Why it works:  Again, unless it’s about her increased breast size, you probably don’t want to hear about the bloating and spotting that’s happening when your girlfriend switches her pill over. I mean, as an awesome boyfriend you’ll totally listen to her talk about it, but it’s not going to be your favorite conversation piece, right, guys? [Read: 33 fascinating facts about sex you never knew about]

#4 Marriage. Her pretend venue, the dream dress, how many bridesmaids she’ll have, the décor… when it comes to weddings, girls talk about anything and everything. Pinterest provides us with endless ideas on how to spend our money for a wedding.

Why it works: Unless you’re already married, this is probably a ‘Don’t Go There’ topic for now. The further away you can be from this subject the easier it will be to convince yourself it was actually your idea if you do pop the question one day.

#5 Children. If your girl wants kids, she’s going to tell her friends about her desires and her journey to get pregnant. She’ll reveal her dream baby names, birthing plans, and may even squeal at how much fun the baby-making process is going to be. On the other hand, if you *aren’t* on the baby train with her, she may complain about this with her friends.

If she already has children, odds are they are already a common topic of conversation between you, her, and her friends.

Why it works: In reality, whether you already have children together or are just planning for them, you have probably already heard all of her opinions on the child-related topics a zillion times by now. [Read: My girlfriend is pregnant: How do I save this relationship?]

What girls really talk about when they’re alone

So what does your girlfriend really talk about with her female friends? A lot of things: some sexy, some devious. Here are the most popular girly things that women like to chat about when you’re not in the room.

#1 Guys. Sorry, bro. Because if you’re her boyfriend, it doesn’t mean she isn’t talking about other guys. Hot guys in movies, the guy who flirts with her at work, ex-boyfriends, and most definitely you and your relationship are going to be topics of conversation covered under girly things. [Read: How to tell if your girlfriend is cheating]

#2 Secrets. Whether she’s thinking of quitting her job, wants to move, wants babies, or wants to be with someone else, if your girlfriend keeps a secret from you then she may be sharing it with her besties.

#3 Friend drama and gossip. Did you hear that Carrie’s friend Sienna said your girlfriend looked fat in her latest Instagram pic? What a total crock, considering Sienna hasn’t worked out all summer. AKA friendship drama.

Who’s sleeping with who, who has a cute pet, whose family is in shambles, who’s getting married, and who posted that ridiculous thing online? When girls get together they like to talk about other friends, they like to gossip, and they like to know the latest.

#4 Sex, sex, and a little bit more sex. Girls talk about sex just as much as guys do and maybe even more when it comes to the nitty-gritty details. Especially after a glass of wine or two… or four. And yes, this includes your worst nightmares such as…

Penis size: Biggest and smallest penis size she’s been with. If she’s been with mister 11” or the unfortunate 3” dick, she’s going to tell her friends about it. She may not be sharing your penis size with friends, but rest assured if you’ve got a pretty one she’s given her subtle nod of approval about it. [Read: Types of penises women love… or laugh at]

Best and worst sex she’s had: Did you give her a mind-blowing orgasm last night? If so, her friends are definitely going to hear at least the PG version of events. Similarly, she may also share some awkward or downright bad sex she’s had. This could include that time you couldn’t get your dick hard, that time she passed gas in doggy, or that one guy she slept with in college who kept calling her ‘mommy.’

Her fantasies: “Have you ever had a dream where you’re a lesbian?” is a phrase that is definitely uttered amongst close friends. She may be thinking of trying a new sex toy, position, having sex in a taxi, or maybe she wants to know the wildest thing her friends have ever done in the sack. Basically, girls share sexual fantasies with their girlfriends to compare and contrast notes. [Read: The top 10 female sexual fantasies girls talk about]

General sex questions: If your girl doesn’t feel like Googling the answer she may ask her girlfriends about their sex experience. If so, topics like: ‘Ever had anal?,’ ‘I’m itching down there and I think it’s…’ or ‘Has your guy ever done *sex thing* in *this position* and it *became your new favorite position/hurt like hell/freaked you out?* may come up.

#5 Relationship drama. Do you have some drama going on in your relationship right now? When it comes to her closest friends, nothing is off limits about relationships. If she’s frustrated with the state of your relationship, if one of you has cheated or lost the other’s trust in some way, or if she’s newly pregnant, it’s all going to be out there for her friends to dissect. [Read: Drama queen alert: 12 steps to calmly deal with the diva]

#6 Money. This is a pretty common topic that isn’t very scandalous to talk about. Maybe she’s talking about wanting to save up for a condo, a European adventure, or maybe she’s saying that she’s financially well-off *don’t we all wish?* If she wants more of it, wants more of yours, or is having a financial catastrophe in her life, she may share it with her closest friends.

[Read: The nice guy syndrome – 16 reasons why girls find you boring]

There’s the truth about what your girlfriend really means when she says she and her friends just talked about girly things. Yes, women talk about the nitty-gritty, and that probably means anything embarrassing, angering, or sarcastic the two of you have exchanged.

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Waverly Smith

Waverly Smith is a freelance writer who has been getting paid for spreading her sarcastic take on love, life, and sex since 2010. She is many things that peo...

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