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Lazy Girlfriend: 15 Ways to Help Her Change & Signs to Give Up Or Break Up

Be the best boyfriend ever and motivate your lazy girlfriend. It may not be easy, but it’s possible. Here’s how you can do it!

lazy girlfriend

Having a lazy girlfriend requires a lot of hard work. After all, hanging around lazy people is not exactly the most fun way to spend your time. This is further amplified when the laziest of the lot is your girlfriend.

As much as you love her, there is no denying that you want her to look and feel her best, not just physically but emotionally as well. You know better than anyone else that a happy wife means a happy life, and there is no denying that you should be doing everything it takes to be happy in your relationship.

[Read: The best inspirational movies for when your motivation lags]

You may have broached this sensitive topic with your lazy girlfriend to no avail, or you may not have sufficient courage to tell her that her lifestyle is becoming unhealthy. Either way, your relationship is not going to last if you do not do anything about it soon.

You need to change, not just her attitude, but yours as well. Remember that you are her best friend, partner in crime, and confidante. If you are not going to give her a wake-up call and help her get on her feet, no one else is.

Here are some helpful suggestions on what you can do to encourage your lazy girlfriend to start doing things. [Read: 20 positive personality traits that can change your life forever]

Why is your girlfriend lazy?

Believe it or not, there are scientifically proven reasons why your girlfriend feels lazy and unmotivated. It’s not always something she can control.

There are moments in our lives when we become overwhelmed by everything and just want to procrastinate on our tasks. So even though laziness is an undesirable trait, your girlfriend just cannot help it. She’s probably dealing with anxiety, sadness, uncertainty, or helplessness and can only rely on her comfort routines.

As her boyfriend, it’s important that you understand why your girlfriend is being lazy. However, you must not encourage her to keep being lazy. This will gradually lead to failure in life. [Read: Healthy relationship: 27 signs, qualities & what it looks like in real life]

How to help your lazy girlfriend

Does your lazy girlfriend have too much work on her plate? Too busy with the kids and household? More often than not, it has to do with a lack of motivation. Here are some ways that you can help your lazy girlfriend beat laziness. [Read: 25 tips to motivate her to work out]

1. Talk to her

Communication is the key to every successful and healthy relationship. Instead of trying to guess why your girlfriend is being lazy and unmotivated, just sit down and talk to her. Ask her how she feels and if something has happened to her that you’re unaware of. If she’s having self-doubt, reassure her.

She’ll open up to you and you two can figure out a way to overcome the problem together. [Read: 20 healthy expectations in a relationship that define a good love life]

2. Engage in activities together

Exercising is the best way to improve your mental and physical health. However, if your girlfriend is one of the millions of people out there who hates exercising, you have to know how to make it fun for her.

Tennis is a great option as it requires plenty of focus, not to mention running around the court. Squash and badminton are the same. You can also amp it up a notch, and sign up for dancing classes or Zumba. Hiking is also another pleasant activity that you can do together.

The less the activity seems like exercise, the more inclined she will be to have fun and stick with it. [Read: How to get motivated to exercise?]

3. Help her find a new hobby

Maybe your girlfriend is lazy because she’s bored with her current life and wants to try something new. Encourage her to start a new hobby. There are so many ways to keep yourself entertained without sweating your face off in the gym.

You can take your girlfriend to a dance class, get her to learn a new language or a new instrument, or inspire her to start reading. If your girlfriend finds something she’s truly passionate about, she’ll start changing her routines for the better. [Read: 20 happy ways to cheer up your girlfriend when she’s sad and down]

4. Convince her to volunteer

Another way to keep your lazy girlfriend active and social is to convince her to volunteer. It could be at the local animal shelter or a nonprofit organization. No matter what, encouraging her to lend a helping hand to others will motivate her to get out of the house.

For example, most AIDS foundations hold an annual AIDS Walk and other charity events to raise money. Find out what your community’s organization is planning for the upcoming year, and encourage your girlfriend to lend a hand to the cause. [Read: Did you know that there are ways volunteer work can help with depression?]

5. Create her a schedule

Lazy people find it difficult to stick to a schedule. They may go to the gym at 5 AM today and wake up at noon tomorrow. You should take the initiative and offer to create a schedule for her. The best way to do it is to sit down together and find the best option so she will be happy and eager to start.

6. Be an example

It’ll be easier for your lazy girlfriend to change her bad habits if you start changing with her. If she has to wake up early, you should, too. If she learns a new language, you should also learn something new.

Not only does it motivate her to keep up with her new routine, but it’ll also bring you two closer together.

[Read: Things to do when your spouse is unemployed or lazy]

7. Encourage her to get a job

There are two groups of women who choose not to work. The first group enjoys the fact that their boyfriends or husbands bring home more than enough bacon, giving them the chance to live the life of luxury.

The second group doesn’t work, because they simply do not want to. It does not matter which category your woman falls under, you should convince your girlfriend to get a job. [Read: Annoying girlfriend habits that your girlfriend might have]

There is nothing scarier than a future with insufficient funds. Let her know that no matter how hard you work to provide for the two of you, it will take way too long for you to reach your goals. Supporting someone else is not an easy feat, what more when you have kids, buy a house and car, start a savings plan, and so on.

You can help her with preparing for the job applications or introduce her to your connections. After all, you may not be around forever and life is short. She needs to be financially independent, in case things do not work out the way you both planned. [Read: 15 worst types of bad girlfriends who will make your life a living hell]

8. Settle for every other weekend

A simple way to get your lazy girlfriend to get out of the house and start doing things is to compromise with her and settle for an outing every other weekend.

For example, she gets to pick what you guys do this weekend and you have no right to complain. Even if she wants to order takeout and chill with Netflix, let her plan the evening and enjoy every minute of it with her.

Next weekend, you get to decide what to do. Whether it is heading out clubbing with friends or taking a camping trip. [Read: 18 secrets to be happy in a marriage that makes or breaks your romance]

9. Be patient

Your girlfriend isn’t going to change overnight, but if she loves you, she will change. Meanwhile, you have to be there for her and give her as much support as she needs.

If her laziness is caused by a mental illness, you yelling at her and condemning her will only worsen her condition.

Don’t be a control freak. Remember that you’re helping her. It’s not about you. [Read: 172 sweet, cute things to say to your girlfriend in a text & delight her]

10. Consult a professional

Do you recognize signs that your girlfriend may struggle with mental health problems? She may not want to admit it, because let’s be honest, nobody wants to admit that they’re not fine these days. As her boyfriend, you should pay attention to the changes and patterns in her behaviors.

There’s nothing wrong with seeking professional help. A good therapist will do wonders. You can only help motivate her to start doing things, but you may need an expert to treat the roots of your girlfriend’s laziness. [Read: 17 signs of a supportive partner who encourages you & your goals]

11. You should change

You may think your girlfriend is the problem, but it could also be you. It’s time to do a little self-reflect and ask yourself if you’ve been a good boyfriend.

Your girlfriend’s laziness could be caused by you letting her do all the housework and clean up after you. It might also be something that you did that made her depressed and stressed her out.

If you think you’re the problem, tell her you’re sorry and promise to do better. You two will get through this together through change and healthy communication. [Read: Why is your girlfriend ignoring you all of a sudden – 15 reasons & fixes]

12. Maybe she doesn’t need help

Is your girlfriend really lazy or is she just an introvert? If you’re an extrovert dating an introvert, you can’t expect her to be as socially active as you are.

Her staying home to watch a movie instead of going to a party with you doesn’t mean she’s lazy. You two just have two different definitions of fun, and she doesn’t need to change her lifestyle to make you happy.

[Read: In love with an introvert? How to be a better partner to them]

Should you break up with your lazy girlfriend?

Everyone has flaws. The more you get to know a person, the more you realize you don’t like everything about them.

But it’s one thing to want to help your girlfriend be better for her own good, and it’s another thing to want to change her for yourself.

If you feel like you cannot love your girlfriend until she stops being lazy, then do both of you a favor and break up with her. [Read: How to break up with someone who loves you & not hurt them more]

Signs you need to break up with your lazy girlfriend

However, it’s not always easy to decide if you should break up with someone, especially if you two have been together for quite a while. Sometimes your mind says yes, but your heart says no.

If you’re looking for help, look for these signs to see if it’s time to break up with your lazy girlfriend. [Read: 28 subtle ways to get someone to break up with you if you can’t do it]

1. You can’t see a future together

If you cannot see a future together, the relationship is already over. What are you dating her for if you don’t plan to take your relationship to the next level? Are you simply just using your girlfriend as a placeholder until you find someone better?

In a relationship, you must try to understand and accept the other person as they are. It doesn’t mean you should tolerate their flaws. Instead of trying to change your girlfriend, knowing for a fact that she won’t, take the easy way out and break up with her. [Read: 50 questions for a new relationship to predict your romantic future]

2. Both your work and personal life are affected by her

It’s great if you’re doing everything you can to help your girlfriend. But being a good boyfriend doesn’t mean you should throw your life away just to improve hers.

Your girlfriend isn’t a child, and if she relies so heavily on you that both your work and personal life are affected, it’s time to say goodbye. [Read: 19 truths to respect yourself in a relationship & stop being a pushover]

3. You don’t see any change in her

Don’t believe in those romcoms where one partner can “fix” the other and make them a better person. In reality, a person only wants to change if they want to change. Your lazy girlfriend won’t change until she realizes that it’s what she needs. No amount of loving her is going to make her better.

So if it’s been weeks and months and you still don’t see any change in her, it means she doesn’t appreciate your effort. Now you know what to do.

[Read: Does your girlfriend struggle with low self-worth? Here are ways to combat this!]

Encouraging your lazy girlfriend to get out there and really start living her life may be difficult at first. She may be averse to your suggestions. But when she comes around, you can be sure that her newfound motivation will improve your relationship. 

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...