Learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend really comes down to accepting that this is her nature, but also understand whether or not you’re able to handle it. You can’t change someone’s core nature. Although you can explain how their behavior makes you feel.
If she’s not willing to change, or she finds that she simply can’t, examine whether you’re able to carry on in the relationship.
Can she curb her flirty ways?
Some people are naturally flirty, while others find it harder to act in a way which is even remotely considered flirting. The thing is, flirting can be part of human nature. But it can also damage relationships when one partner flirts with other people, either intentionally or unintentionally.
Is your girlfriend quite flirty? If so, do you enjoy watching her get a reaction out of other people or do you find it difficult? Most people would find it hard to watch. While it’s probably nothing more than friendly banter, it can cause a huge issue in your relationship if you struggle with it.
[Read: The 15 signs she’s not emotionally ready to be in a relationship with you]
How to deal with a flirty girlfriend without making the situation worse
Flirtiness doesn’t have to be a full stop in a relationship. There are many ways you can learn how to deal with a flirty girlfriend and hopefully look towards a brighter and more comfortable future in your relationship.
#1 Understand that her nature is probably quite flirtatious. Some people are quite naturally flirty. They don’t even realize that the way they’re acting is perceived by others to be flirty. They probably just assume they’re being friendly. [Read: 10 reasons why your girlfriend enjoys flirting with other guys]
Some are more tactile than others, and if you want to keep your relationship ticking over, to some extent you must realize that you’re never going to change this part of her, nor should you really want to. If you take away her tactile and flirtatious nature, you’re probably taking away a large portion of who she is at her very core.
However, you can make her more aware of how others may perceive it. Perhaps ask her to rein it in a little! [Read: How to tell if she is just playing mind games with you]
#2 Examine whether it’s your jealousy that’s the problem. Part of learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend also comes down to doing a little soul searching yourself. Is it your own jealousy that’s the problem? Is that the reason why you’re struggling?
Sure, if she’s overly flirty, you should have a conversation and ask her to stop. But why does it bother you so much if you’re secure in your relationship? Could it be that it’s making you jealous? Is it that you don’t like it when other people give her attention and she laps it up?
Do a little soul searching. Figure out why you feel the way you do about her flirting. [Read: Jealous boyfriend fix – how to stop being one and drop the jealous act]
#3 Have a conversation. If it’s really bothering you, the next step in knowing how to deal with a flirty girlfriend is to sit down and have a conversation about it. Explain that it’s making you uncomfortable. While you love that she’s so open and tactile, it can make other people think the wrong thing.
Remember that she’s not likely to take to this conversation as easily as you want her to. She might feel you are attacking a certain side of her personality. In that way, be careful in the way you approach this conversation. [Read: Girlfriend texting another guy constantly? A guy’s guide to dealing with this]
#4 Make the conversation about you and not her. When you’re talking about it, try and use “I” phrases, rather than “you.” By doing this, you’re explaining how you feel and your side of things, rather than piling the blame on her.
Rather than saying “you flirt with everyone and it’s a problem,” say “I feel a little jealous or insecure.” You explain rather than push blame and possibly working towards a huge argument.
She’s more likely to listen to what you’re saying if you do this. Also be sure to reassure her that you love her flirty nature. It’s just not ideal when it’s projected onto other people! [Read: Why you should tell the truth even when it hurts and why it matters]
#5 Try not to be paranoid. This is a hard one. However, it’s easy to allow your reaction to turn paranoid when you see your girlfriend flirting with other people. Remember that she is with you. You’re in a relationship, and she’s not attempting to cheat in front of your eyes. Remind yourself of her flirty nature and that it’s nothing personal.
#6 Understand your own limits. Sure, you should accept to a certain degree that your girlfriend is a flirty person and as a result you can’t harness that completely. Nevertheless, you’ll have your own lines in the sand too. That means the points that you’re happy to accept, to a degree, and the point that you reach your limit.
Know your limitations. Don’t feel like you should accept anything that goes over them. If something does, feel free to explain to your girlfriend that what you’ve just experienced doesn’t sit well with you and makes you feel uncomfortable. [Read: Is flirting with others really cheating when you’re already dating?]
#7 Turn the flirt on each other. If your girlfriend is a flirty kind of kitten, why not turn the flirting up? Encourage her to flirt with you more. By doing that, you’ll have the light of attention shining on you. You’ll feel more confident and secure in your relationship.
You’ll also realize that in some situations, flirting really can just be a little bit of fun, something harmless, and not at all threatening to your relationship. [Read: Happy and naughty ways to keep your relationship fresh forever]
#8 Understand that there has to be a line. There may come a point in the relationship that you just can’t take anymore. After a conversation, if she refuses to see what your problem is and if she perhaps does it even more just to be difficult *some people are like that*, then you do not have to put up with it.
If the flirting is something you really can’t deal with, if it causes you to feel insecure and upset in your relationship, it might be time to move on. [Read: 15 obvious signs of flirting between your girlfriend and another guy]
If your girlfriend cares about you, which I’m sure she does, she’ll understand your concerns. Perhaps, she’ll think a little more carefully about how she may come over to other people in the future. Maybe she doesn’t know she’s being flirty. The person she’s being flirty with probably does. [Read: Instagram comments and how it secretly ruins relationships]
In that case, if she knows how it upsets you, and provided you talk to her in a way which doesn’t proportion blame or make her feel like you’re attacking her character, everything should work out for the best. However, if it doesn’t, you have a choice to make.
[Read: How to handle a girlfriend who takes you for granted]
Learning how to deal with a flirty girlfriend is about examining whether or not you’re simply being extra jealous. If not, have a careful conversation with her. Just explain how you feel.
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