Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. But, learning how to break up with a girl right will keep her from feeling tossed aside.
Breaking up is never easy. Sometimes it is a great release and makes you feel like a weight has lifted. The actual process of breaking up or breaking someone’s heart is never a good feeling. If you once had feelings for a girl but they left, or you just don’t want to carry on with your relationship anymore, you owe it to her to know how to break up with a girl so that you don’t leave her crushed.
How to break up with a girl: 8 essential rules to make the break up less painful
You never know, she might be in the same frame of mind as you and done with the whole thing, which is always the best case scenario. But, from experience, you should always assume that it will hurt her and minimize the bleed. There are some rules that you should adhere to so you don’t catch her fury. It can be super ugly if you don’t know how to break up with a girl.
#1 Do it in person. If you break up with a girl, make sure you have the courage to do it to her face. There is nothing more cowardly than breaking up with someone via text, social media, or even on the phone.
You owe her the courtesy of saying it to her face. Sure, it’s more difficult to deal with the overflow of emotions and see the carnage. You can’t just text her an “adios” and think that’s humane or cool. If you don’t want to be with her, man up and tell it to her face. [Read: How to have the breakup conversation with someone you love]
#2 Don’t cheat on her or hop ship. If you feel like your feelings for your girlfriend changes, then you owe her the obligation to finish one relationship before you step into another.
Don’t hop from one girl to the next and think you won’t catch their wrath. Not only is it not cool, but you hurt someone who cares for you. If you even think that you want to be with someone else, break it off before, rather than after, or it just isn’t fair. [Read: 8 signs you’re accidentally cheating already]
#3 Give her closure. I know closure, shit. I hate it too. There is nothing worse than the endless questions of “Why?”. But, if you don’t want to be with someone, then give them the peace of knowing why they are no longer the one for you.
If blindsided, it resides in them and makes them question what they did wrong and what is wrong with them. If it is just that you don’t find a compatibility with them, you want different things, or you just don’t have sexual feelings for them, tell them.
Most men make the mistake of thinking telling a woman the truth hurts more. Not telling them why is about the worst thing you can do to someone. It just leaves them perpetually guessing and probably taints their next relationships. [Read: 20 signs your relationship is oh-so-over already]
#4 Don’t lie. If you plan to break up with someone, don’t soften the blow by lying. Saying things like “I want to take a break” when you really just don’t want to be with them, isn’t fair. If you are done, just be honest and say, “I’m done”.
Anything less just feeds them false hope. Honesty is the best policy when in a relationship and when finding your way out of one. Don’t keep her hanging on for fear of going it alone or her reprisal. Rip off the Band-Aid so that the wound starts to heal.
#5 Don’t rehash. When done with someone, be done. You don’t have to give a laundry list of all the shitty things they did to you that led you to break up with them. Just go your separate ways.
There are obviously things on both sides that made the relationship not work. You giving her the riot act isn’t going to make you or her feel better. It just creates animosity. Yes, be honest. No, don’t be brutal. Just end amicably. If not, she’ll chase your ass for eternity. [Read: Songs you can use to breakup with your partner]
#6 Don’t give in. If you break up with her and you see the pain on her face, don’t decide maybe you made the wrong decision and agree to give it another try. I know breaking someone’s heart is super difficult. It isn’t made any better by reneging.
All you do is prolong the agony for yourself and make her work overtime to win back a heart unavailable to her. If you break it off, break it off. That means no goodbye sex either. That only confuses emotions, even if it feels good at the time.
#7 Don’t do it in the heat of battle. If you want to know how to break up with a girl, one of the most important things to know is to not do it in the midst of a heated argument. Finish the fight, let it calm, and then break up with her in a rational and real way. If you break up during a fight, then you both wonder if it was a good idea or just made the wrong move while super pissed.
#8 Let her know you still care for her. Sometimes quitting cold turkey is the hardest thing to do. If you break up with a girl, at times, it is a good idea to let them know that you still care about them and that you hold no ill feelings. Women tend to internalize things.
If you just lost the attraction, that doesn’t mean that you don’t still care about her and how she is doing. The whole “We can still be friends” doesn’t mean you talk on the phone once a day. It might mean the world to her to know that although she lost a boyfriend in you, she didn’t lose the friend you were too.
Breaking up with someone just sucks, period. Whether you break up because she is a bitch or because you lost your sexual attraction to her, doing it the right way, ends up benefiting you greatly going forward. There is going to come a time in your future, where if you don’t do it right and screw her over, it comes back to bite you.
Karma is a bitch and so can a woman who feels as if they have been dumped. If you want to how to break up with a girl and keep it amicable, then take the time to do it right. Put on your big boy pants, and be prepared to provide her closure.
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