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How to Ask a Girl if She Likes You *Without Really Asking*

You have your eye on someone who you think is really special. You don’t know how she feels, but you want to. Here’s how to ask a girl if she likes you.

how to ask a girl if she likes you

Regardless of how many girls you’ve gone out with, there’s still no telling what’s on any one girl’s mind *yes, they’re that complicated*. It’s hard to figure out for sure if the girl you have feelings for is also interested in you. Sometimes you need to take matters into your own hands, so here is how to ask a girl if she likes you.

For some men, the way to find this out can be an uphill battle, and they can make embarrassing and irreversible mistakes they end up regretting. Therefore, actually knowing what the right approaches are helps you get the answer—and it might even be the answer your hope for.

Reflect on why you want to ask the girl if she likes you

Before you do anything, the first step to do some reflection on why you want this girl to like you. Okay, this might seem like a dumb thing to do. Why would you have to think about why you want to know if a girl likes you? Well, it’s actually an important step, and here’s why. [Read: What makes a man attractive? 38 Traits that make a woman desire you]

Are you just looking for the thrill of the chase, or do you really like HER? Sometimes, guys only like the girl until they catch her, and then they get disinterested. This is not fair to her. Because if it turns out that she really likes you, and then you change your mind, it will break her heart.

So, you really need to figure out how much you like her before you do anything. If you are wanting to know if she likes you because it inflates your ego, then that is not a good reason to do it.

However, if you really, truly like her, then you have the green light to go ahead. You also have think about what you want to come out of this. If you’re not ready for a serious relationship, but she is, that could create problems. Or vice versa. [Read: How to attract a woman: 15 steps to max your desirability]

You need to sort out your exact feelings and intentions for the girl before you try to figure out how she feels. Yes, it’s great knowing that someone likes you, but it’s not just about you. Her feelings are involved too.

On the other hand, if you truly like her, you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for the fact that she may not feel the same way. That can be a blow to your ego. But if that happens, it’s not the end of the world. It just means she’s not the girl for you!

Bottom line is that you need to do some thinking and reflecting about what your intentions are before you take any action. Because her feelings – and your feelings – are going to be on the line. [Read: How to sweet talk a girl: 19 ways to melt her with words]

How to ask a girl if she likes you *without really asking*

After you’ve done some thinking, then you can take some action. And sometimes you just need to jump in and find out if the girl you are crushing on actually likes you. Don’t be shy! Try out these tips.

1. Try to strike up a convo

Find an excuse to talk to her, whether it’s about the weather or your next project. The best time to do this is when she’s really busy or preoccupied with something.

If she stops what she does to talk to you, tell her, “Oh, you seem busy. I’ll come back later.” If she tells you she’s not and you guys talk, that’s a great sign. A girl likes you if she’s willing to stop whatever it is she’s doing to give you her full, undivided attention. [Read: How to keep a conversation going with a girl you really like]

2. Remember eye contact

There’s absolute truth to the cliché: The eyes are the windows to the soul. The eyes tell a lot about the thoughts and feelings of a person, as well as if they’re lying or not.

So remember when you talk to her, give her eye contact. If you’ve caught her staring at you a lot, stare back and smile. If she frowns and looks away like she’s irritated or confused, then tough luck. However, if she gets shy or awkwardly looks away, then you have reason to get your hopes up. [Read: 10 subtle eye contact moves that always work]

3. Check her body

You can tell a lot about a girl by the way she moves. Despite what she may say sometimes *like she doesn’t really like you, for example*, her body language may tell a different story.

If she turns to you when you’re in the room or when you speak even if she’s doing something else and you’re not even talking to her, that’s a dead giveaway. And if you do speak to her, does she self-consciously touch her hair or straighten her dress? [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]

4. Tell your friends about her

And let her know all about it. For example, tell her how you’ve been telling your work colleagues how you think her not playing a popular new game is just weird but cool since everyone’s in on it these days. This opens up an opportunity for you to see if she’ll retort about a story of her own. This allows you to see if she told her friends about you too.

5. Make it about you

If she tells you about her bad dates from the past, tell her something like, “That will not happen if you’re going out with me.” And then wait to see how she reacts. The secret to this tip is to associate whatever she tells you to how you would handle the situation. This is a great gauge of how she reacts after you give her a mental image of you and her together. [Read: 13 naughty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

6. Ask about what she likes in a guy

A tried and tested way to also ask a girl if she asks you without really asking her is to ask her what she likes in a guy. A rather forward girl would go as far as exactly describing you.

There might be others who would tell you what they like in a guy and you can go ahead to be that guy for her. The way she’ll answer this question is your cue that she likes you to make her like you.

7. Play favorites

There’s also a game to try to know if she likes you without explicitly asking her. Over lunch or while the two of you are together, like sharing a cab or something, try to pass the time with the good ol’ favorites game.

Ask her what her favorites are, and if she’s eager to tell you more about herself while asking you back your own favorites, then that means she’s also interested in knowing more about you. [Read: Instant chemistry: 25 flirty questions to ask a girl you like]

8. Drop some hint

Go ahead and subtly show her you like her. Compliment her on her new haircut, buy her favorite blend of coffee “just ‘cause” or simply tell her you like how she handled her presentation. These little hints that you drop here and there like bread crumbs. If she reciprocates or shows eager appreciation, then you’ll know she’s digging what you’re doing—and maybe even be digging you too.

9. Go on, jokester

There’s always something about funny guys that makes girls go gaga. So if your looks aren’t entirely on point for her, then you might change her mind with your sense of humor.

So go on, put it out there and make her laugh. By jokingly telling her how she dressed up all for you because she likes you, you can at least have an idea if she thinks you’re friend material or more.

If she vehemently denies it or is blushing, then there’s a chance she likes you. If she starts to rattle off sarcastic remarks, that’s an entirely different story. [Read: Chick magnet alert: What makes a guy the total package?]

10. Get the group in on it

If you have common friends, then that makes it so much easier to know if she likes you. Plan a group outing or watch a movie together. If a group date is something she agrees to, then she might be interested in getting to know you better. It also paves the way for you to know each other better. And, if the time is right, you can even have your friends ask your dream girl for you.

11. See if she blushes

Find out any answer to any question you ask a girl even if they don’t even open their mouths. You can just watch how they react to certain statements you or your friends say. And even without asking, you’ll easily find out if a girl likes you by getting close to her, and if she blushes and becomes shy, then there’s your cue.

12. Try to go physical

Not that kind of physical *unless you want her to think you’re a perv*. For example, while in a line, try to brush her hand with your arm or even dare to wrap your arms around her. If she doesn’t budge, then take it a step further and get a fry from her tray.

Or, next time you see her, playfully nudge her, and if she nudges you back until you get into a playful physical game, then that’s a good sign. Who knows, you may even end up embracing each other—or kissing! [Read: 12 obvious signs she’s just waiting for you to ask her out]

13. Ask her out

There’s really not a better way to find out if she really likes you then taking the plunge and just asking her out. First, wait for the right time, get her in a right place, make sure she’s in the right frame of mind *not busy, angry, or bawling her eyes out over her ex*, and pop the question.

Ask her if she’d like to go to the newly opened museum with you, or grab some steak and fries in your favorite restaurant. If she likes you, or at the very least considers you date material, then chances are she’d say “Yes.” [Read: Cute ways to ask a girl out that are sure to get a “Yes”]

14. Go big or…

The best way to ask a girl if she likes you is, of course, going direct with the big question: “Do you like me?” While this can take a lot of balls *and kudos to you if you can sum up the courage*, this question helps to settle it once and for all. A quick, direct question such as this will more likely get a quick, direct answer—so be prepared!

Signs that a girl likes you

Girls are not always direct. So, trying to ask a girl if she likes you can be frustrating for a lot of guys. They don’t always know how to decode the girl’s signals. Here are a few things to look for. [

1. Body language

If she sits close to you, looks into your eyes, or touches your hand, that means she probably likes you. As humans, we tend to want to be close to people we like. If she doesn’t like you, she will keep her distance, look away from you, and not engage in much conversation with you. [Read: How to start a conversation with a girl and make her really like you]

2. She texts you a lot

Girls like talking – usually more than guys do. So, if she is engaging with you over text or social media, that is a good sign. It’s great if she reciprocates your communication, but it’s even better if she initiates it. But I she is wanting to talk to you and have conversations, then she probably likes you.

3. She wants to spend time with you

Someone who is not interested in you won’t be too eager to spend time with you. So, if she’s always willing to hang out and do just about anything with you, she probably likes you. And if she asks you to hang out before you ask her, then you are definitely in the “un-friend zone.”

While these are just a few signs that a girl likes you, they are the most important ones to look out for.

[Read: How to tell if a shy girl likes you: All their secrets revealed]

Use these tips on how to ask a girl if she likes you to make your move, and just remember, while the saying, “You’ll never know unless you ask” may be true, you also have to remember to be prepared for what the answer will be.

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Tiffany Grace Reyes
Tiffany is a wordsmith who has played with words ever since her letter-to-the-editor was published nationally at the age of 9. Since then her writing has gone f...
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