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How to Apologize to a Girl When You Know You Messed Up

So you screwed up with her, and you want to know how to apologize to your girlfriend. You’ll find that it’s not that hard to say sorry and fix things!

how to apologize to a girl

Women can be complex creatures, and this is especially evident when you do something wrong and need to apologize to them. But many men don’t fully understand how to apologize to your girlfriend the right way. Women need so much more than a little schmoozing to wholeheartedly believe you when you say you’re sorry.

Apologies aren’t as simple as just saying sorry, but it has to come from the heart. Learning how to apologize to a girl is both a combination of your words and actions. So you don’t have to just say you’re sorry, but you have to mean it. But first things first, you need to know when you’ve done something wrong.

Guys, it doesn’t take a genius to know when you’ve done something that warrants an apology. Instead of playing games or avoiding contact altogether, it’s time to man up and apologize. [Read: How to apologize and say sorry to a lover]

What it takes to apologize to a girl

Every girl is different, but it’s pretty easy to understand what women want from an apology. There’s a saying that says an apology without changed behavior is just manipulation, and that’s a bit accurate. Learning how to apologize to your girlfriend doesn’t just stop with the words “I’m sorry,” but that’s just the beginning.

If you did something bad, like really bad, hounded to show through your behavior that you’ll do your best not to repeat the same mistake. Of course, you can bring her flowers and the like, but it’s through your behavior she’ll be reassured that you won’t disappoint or hurt her that way again.

So it’s of utmost importance that you become sincere with your apology and mean every word and action. Don’t just apologize for the sake of doing it, but apologize because it’s what she deserves from you. [Read: 17 aww-so-sweet ways to genuinely say you’re sorry]

How to apologize to a girl

So what is the best way of going about saying you’re sorry? Apologizing is never an easy task, especially when the person you’ve wrong is someone you care about. But remember, women can smell a fake apology from a mile away, so you really need to be careful with how you apologize to a girl.

If you really did something terrible and know you have to apologize in a big way, you’ll need certain techniques to make sure she knows how sorry you are. This is how you should really apologize to a girl.

1. Be sincere

Don’t apologize if you really don’t think you have to. Why? Because an insincere apology is almost worse than no apology at all. She’ll be able to tell that you’re just saying it to say it, and honestly, she’ll most likely get even madder at you. [Read: How to show someone you love them: 41 sure-fire ways]

You might think that you’ll get away with it but trust us, she won’t let you get off the hook with an insincere apology. The first step on how to apologize to your girlfriend is to be sincere with your intentions. Sincerity goes a long when forgiving you, which is why you have to really mean your apology.

2. Apologize right away

The more you prolong apologizing to her, the madder she’ll get at you. So if you want to know how to apologize to a girl, don’t waste a day not apologizing. If you take forever to apologize, then you’ll have to apologize for not apologizing right away, and that’s just really confusing!

Women don’t like waiting for an apology when you’re clearly in the wrong. So suck it up and go in there and make an apology that she’ll appreciate. There’s no room for ego or pride in an apology so just apologize to her! [Read: What men should do when given the silent treatment]

3. Bring her flowers

The honest truth is that every woman loves flowers. No matter how much she says she doesn’t really like them or care that much for them, she’ll still appreciate a nice bouquet accompanied by an honest apology. But remember that flowers should only accompany your sincere apology and not to be used as an apology alone.

So by all means, buy her the flowers you know she loves to make for a great apology. We guarantee that she’ll love them! [Read: 22 romantic flowers that are favorites with women]

4. Make her something

There’s something really sweet about a guy who will actually put real effort into an apology. Spending your free time making her something that says you’re sorry falls into the category of “showing versus telling.” Get creative and make her something she’ll really love. [Read: The best gifts for your girl]

It doesn’t take expensive gifts to make a girl happy and forgive you. Sometimes, all she needs is a thoughtful gift made from you. Make her cookies, a handwritten letter, or even paper roses! Really, let your imagination run wild when apologizing to her – she’ll love that!

5. Forget about your pride

This is the most essential part of this list that people tend to forget. Again, there’s no room for pride in any argument, especially if you want to fix things. Most guys often let their pride get in the way and refuse to apologize first or do anything to apologize.

But keep in mind that your pride isn’t at stake if you admit your wrongdoings to a girl and apologize. In fact, she’ll probably think much more of you if you just man up and admit that you made a mistake.

And anyway, would really want to lose her all because of your pride? We’re guessing you’re not since you’re here reading how to apologize to your girlfriend. [Read: 8 helpful ways to stop being a self-centered person]

6. Don’t blame anyone or anything else

It’s human nature to want to blame anyone other than yourself. But if you’re the only person at fault, then you should only blame yourself and take accountability for your mistakes. Girls are huge on accountability so if you can own up to your mistakes, she’ll be quicker to forgive you.

Finding a scapegoat for your mess-ups is the most cowardly thing you can do. Unless you want an even bigger problem, it’s easier just to say sorry and own up to your mistakes.

7. Acknowledge that you did something wrong

Just like you can’t blame your wrongdoings on someone else, you have to actually acknowledge that you did something wrong in the first place. Admit what you did that might’ve led her to be disappointed or hurt in your own actions.

Telling her what you did that hurt her and that you understand it was wrong will help her see that you’ve thought about the situation and understand that your actions caused her pain. She’ll see how mature you are in handling arguments and conflicts and admire you for it. [Read: How to fight fair in a relationship and grow closer]

8. Let her know that you won’t do it again

Everyone likes to be reassured that the offense in question won’t be repeated again after you apologize. Even if your apology is sincere, women have to know that you mean it when you say that you’ll never do something like that again.

This is highly crucial for learning how to apologize to a girl. I mean, if you’re going to do it again, why bother apologizing? You need to assure her that you won’t repeat the same mistakes, especially if what you did really hurt her. [Read: Do you have an insecure girlfriend? 30 signs & ways to help her]

9. Ask her what you can do to make it better

When it comes to understanding how to apologize to a girl, this technique can be one of the most powerful lessons. By asking her what you can do to make it better, you’re really getting her to open up and tell you exactly what she wants from you.

This is also a very mature approach in dealing with conflict and leaves little to no room for misunderstandings. You’re basically asking her directly what she needs from you and unless she’s passive-aggressive, she’ll likely tell you.

10. Ask for her forgiveness

This technique may seem redundant, but issuing an apology is not synonymous with receiving forgiveness. Just because you’ve poured your heart out in a sincere apology doesn’t mean that you’re automatically forgiven. Also, just because you ask for her forgiveness, it doesn’t mean she’ll give it to you.

Expect that you won’t get it right away, and that’s fine. But what matters is that you asked for forgiveness at the end of your sincerest apology. Depending on the severity of the offense, she just may not be ready yet to make up and move on. [Read: Should you forgive and forget? 15 guidelines to follow]

11. Do it in person

Despite living in the modern dating era where technology is the most convenient thing you can use, don’t text or chat your apology. If you want to know how to apologize to your girlfriend, doing it in person is the best thing you can do. It’s just more heartfelt and genuine when done in person rather than by text.

No text – no matter how eloquently typed it is – will make up for something you’ve done. You MUST make your apology in person so she can really see the sincerity of it. [Read: 17 sweet ways to genuinely say you’re sorry]

12. Understand why she’s upset

You can’t know how to apologize to a girl if you don’t see why she’s upset in the first place. We’re sure you’re not that naive not to know what you did wrong to make her so upset. So making the most heartfelt apology all comes down to understanding why she’s mad at you.

Did you forget her birthday, did you forget to pick her up when you said you would, or did you do something more severe than that? Backtrack your actions and take it from there.

13. Answer all her questions

When a girl’s upset with you, she tends to have many questions on her mind, more than usual. So if you want to learn how to apologize to a girl, it all starts with answering every thought she has.

Before she would forgive you, she’d like to know why you did what you did, why you thought it was okay, and other related questions pertaining to the offense you did. This is a way to reassure her of every detail so she can forgive you. [Read: Fighting in a relationship – How to do it right]

14. Acknowledge her feelings

One of a girl’s pet peeves is when you fail to acknowledge her feelings for whatever reason. So if you want to apologize to her, then don’t invalidate her feelings against all odds.

Acknowledge her feelings of pain and disappointment, and take it from there. Don’t convince her that she shouldn’t feel that way because of something so minor *she’ll tell you to piss off when you say this*!

15. Give her time

As long as you didn’t do something so severe, she’ll forgive you eventually. However, you need to give her time and space before she forgives you. If you continue to smother her, she’ll feel suffocated and be annoyed with you further.

[Read: Why fighting in a relationship is important & how to do it right]

So, how to apologize to your girlfriend?

The most important thing is to be sincere with both your actions and words. Your apology shouldn’t stop with the words, “I’m sorry,” but that’s just the first step of getting her to forgive you.

If you’re trying to figure out how to apologize to a girl to right your wrongdoings, it’s all about your sincerity and genuineness. With the 15 steps above, you’ll get her to forgive you in no time.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...