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31 Sly Signs of a Cheating Wife, Why She Cheated & Ways to Confront Her

Most people think that men are more likely to cheat than women. But women can also cheat on their husbands. Here are the signs of a cheating wife you should be aware of.

signs of a cheating wife

Men are usually labeled as cheaters, but women are actively cheating as well. Whether sexting other men, going on dates, or having full-out affairs, women sometimes partake in extra-marital affairs. If you know the signs of a cheating wife, you can figure out what to do before the bad news takes you by surprise.

Now, if you have a gut feeling that your wife is being unfaithful, you may have trouble putting your finger on it.

Knowing what signs to look for will not only help you confirm or reject whether she’s cheating on you, but it will also help you identify exactly what she is doing wrong. Maybe it’s not cheating; maybe it’s something else. 

So, let’s look at the signs so that you can make a decision from there. [Read: 20 circumstances when it’s okay to feel you hate your wife]

Why do wives cheat? 

Most people think that men are the ones who are more likely to cheat. This comes from the stereotype that men have high sex drives, so they might have to look outside of their marriage if their wife isn’t fulfilling their sexual needs. As if that’s an excuse for cheating.

But women do it too. So, why do wives cheat on their husbands? Here are the top reasons:  

1. Loneliness

One of the biggest reasons people get married is so that they don’t have to be lonely anymore. They like having someone to walk through life with and be by their side for better or for worse. [Read: 71 reasons why women cheat in relationships and how to read her mind]

But sometimes marriages don’t work out like that. If her husband is a workaholic, abusive, or emotionally unavailable, then a woman will feel very lonely in her marriage. Because of this, she might seek companionship elsewhere.

2. Middle-age crisis

It’s not easy for anyone to age, but it’s especially difficult for women. A big part of their self-esteem is how they look. So, when their looks start to fade, they might start to panic.

They might wonder if they’re attractive anymore. And so, if another man shows them some attention, it shows them that they “still have it.” [Read: Midlife crisis in women – 27 signs, how it hits you, and what you feel inside]

It makes them feel good to know that they are still attractive enough for men to want them.

3. Lack of emotional support

There are many men in the world who are emotionally unavailable. They might spend too much time at work, playing video games, or out with their buddies. All of those things make women feel like they don’t have any emotional support.

Even if he doesn’t do those things, he might not be a supportive partner. Perhaps she feels like she has another child because she has to do everything around the house and take care of him. [Read: Am I emotionally unavailable? 17 signs you are and how to fix it ASAP]

She wants to be romanced, not be a slave. And if she can’t find that romance in her marriage, she might find it elsewhere.

4. A pattern of insecure attachment

Insecure attachment is an emotional attachment style that makes someone needy, clingy, and starving for attention. And if her husband doesn’t give her enough attention and affection, it makes her anxious.

That’s why she might go looking for another man to give her what she needs. If another man showers her with affection, time, and energy, it fulfills her. He gives her what her husband doesn’t. [Read: Insecure attachment – what it is, types, 23 signs and how it affects your life]

Signs of a cheating wife

When it comes to relationships, one of the biggest fears a lot of people have is being cheated on. No one wants to be cheated on by the person they love. 

Many people might hesitate to get into relationships for this simple reason. They don’t want to be cheated on because maybe they were cheated on before, and they don’t want to risk inviting that pain onto themselves again.

So when you put those fears aside and you commit to the woman that you love, you open yourself up to the possibility of being hurt and betrayed. But you don’t care, because you trust that they won’t be unfaithful. It’s a big deal. [Read: 18 ingenious ways to catch a cheating partner in the act]

Of course, you never expect your partner to turn around and do that one thing we all fear, but life doesn’t always pan out how we expect.

The signs aren’t always so obvious, but you can learn the signs of a cheating wife and avoid feeling at least some of the pain of infidelity.

1. You feel she’s unfaithful

Now, you shouldn’t base your accusation solely on your gut instinct. Look at the signs and, of course, approach her about this. [Read: Should you ever forgive a cheating partner?]

But if you’re feeling deep down that she’s doing something she shouldn’t be doing, you’re probably right. Your gut instinct is there for a reason.

2. She doesn’t post pictures of you on social media anymore

She used to post a lot of photos of the two of you on social media, but recently, she’s switched. 

In fact, if you go on her social media, it doesn’t look like she’s in a relationship at all. If she hides you, she wants to appear single. [Read: Social media and relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly]

3. Her phone is always on silent

Don’t necessarily take this as a definite sign. But if you see other signs matched with this one, then she may be cheating on you. 

She keeps her phone on silent so that you aren’t aware of how many messages she’s receiving. She especially doesn’t want you to ask her any questions about who she’s talking to. [Read: How do you know when your marriage is over: And is it too late?]

4. She says you’re cheating on her

This one is a classic. People who cheat on their partners are usually paranoid, thinking that their partner is cheating on them. They’ll become very defensive and analyze your every move.

But in reality, you’re the one who should be looking at them.

5. She’s working out a lot more

Before, she would maybe go to the gym here and there, but recently, she’s stepped up her workout routine. This isn’t a New Year’s resolution; she’s trying to impress someone new.

6. She’s not happy

If she tells you that she’s unhappy with her life, this is a cry for help. If she’s not happy, she’s going to find happiness wherever she can get it. [Read: 20 signs you’re girlfriend has started looking out for someone else]

This doesn’t mean she’s cheated on you, but it increases her odds of cheating on you in the future.

7. She shares less information with you

When you are together, she doesn’t tell you what’s going on in her life. You feel a distance, a disconnection from her. 

One of the signs of a cheating wife is her disconnect from you. If someone is cheating, they’ll subconsciously distance themselves because now they’re investing their energy into someone else.

They also do it because they feel guilty for betraying their partner, so they stay away from them so that they don’t have to feel bad. [Read: How to tell if someone is lying about cheating on you – 15 subtle hints]

8. She always wants to know where you are

At first, it may seem like she really cares, but let’s take a closer look at this. If she’s constantly checking in with you and asking you where you are, there’s a reason why. How else will her cheating escapade work if she doesn’t know where you are and for how long you’ll be gone?

9. She’s dressing up more

Before, she could care less if her socks matched or not. But now, she’s particular with what she wears. Her appearance has sky-rocketed recently, and you don’t know why. 

Well, it’s not because of you. If she’s paying more attention to how she looks, she’s out to impress someone else. [Read: How to know if your lover is under another’s spell]

10. She’s suddenly become generous

When we make mistakes and screw up with our partners, we usually try to make it up to them. Maybe with flowers, a home-cooked dinner, etc. 

If she’s getting you random gifts, well, she’s feeling guilty about something. If you haven’t argued recently, this is something to look into.

11. She’s mad at everything you do

Whether you do something wrong or not, she’s mad. It’s like you can’t do anything right. It might even feel like she even hates you sometimes. [Read: How to confront a cheater who plays a victim card]

If she’s finding everything you say or do to be irritating, she’s checked out of the relationship. She likes someone else, and for her, you’re just an annoying person she needs to put up with. It’s harsh, but it’s true.

12. She brings up cheating

Now, she won’t tell you she’s cheating on you. But she does bring up other people’s relationships. 

She may mention a friend who has been cheated on and will talk about why the cheating happened. Pay close attention to this because it’s a conversation that you can quickly pass over. [Read: What is cheating in a relationship? The truth most people ignore]

13. She hangs out with her single friends

When you’re married, you hang out with other married couples. That’s just the way it is. Single people have a different rhythm of life, and it doesn’t always match married life. 

But if she’s hanging out with her single friends a lot more, maybe she’s not into being married anymore. [Read: 25 truthful reasons why women cheat so easily]

14. You spend more time apart

Though you may not notice right away, give it enough time, and you see that you aren’t spending much quality time together. 

On weekends, she’s not home, and after work, she comes home late and goes to bed. If you aren’t spending time together anymore, it’s clear something is wrong.

15. She contracted an STD

You don’t get an STD from drinking out of the same water bottle as your partner. [Read: Can your relationship survive an STD scare?]

If you’re looking for clear signs of a cheating wife, remember that STDs come from unprotected sex with someone other than your partner. 

Unless you cheated on her as well and gave her the STD, the odds are she received it from sleeping with someone else.

16. She goes on solo trips

Now, traveling solo isn’t a big deal. Many women enjoy traveling solo and don’t do it to cheat.

But, in some instances, a sudden urge to travel solo could mean she’s meeting up with someone else. [Read: How do cheaters react when accused – anger and what you should expect]

17. She calls you another name in bed

Well, this is not a good sign now, is it? No one wants to hear another man’s name when he is in bed with his wife. Especially if she always says your name or nothing at all.

So, this is a pretty good sign that your wife is cheating on you. Why else would she scream out a name other than yours? Even if she’s not physically cheating, she’s certainly thinking about another guy when she’s in bed with you.

18. She’s partying more than usual

Maybe she was your conventional wife and mother. However, she might have made some new friends.

And now suddenly, instead of making family dinners and watching TV with you at night, she’s out partying. [Read: Cheaters gonna cheat and lie? 13 things cheaters say when confronted]

But do you know who she’s actually partying with? Have you met these new “friends” or spoken to the old friends she claims she’s with? Either way, something is fishy if she’s partying more than usual.

19. She no longer says “I love you” on a regular basis

Of course, when a couple first gets together, there is a lot of physical and emotional affection. Maybe she used to tell you she loved you all the time.

But now, you have suddenly noticed that she’s not saying it much anymore.

Sure, she might say it back to you if you say it first. But it doesn’t seem like she really feels it when those words do come out of her mouth. [Read: Falling out of love – why it happens, 23 reasons, and signs to see it ASAP]

20. She avoids your friends

You might not immediately think that this would be a sign that your wife is cheating. But it definitely can be.

If she’s guilty, then she might not be able to look your friends in the eye because she’s afraid they will figure it out. She might feel like she’s carrying a sign saying “I’m cheating on your friend,” so guilt keeps her away.

21. Her shopping sprees have increased 

If she’s going shopping a lot more than usual and coming home with a lot of cute clothes that she doesn’t wear with you, then that is a bad sign too. Who is she buying them for and why? [Read: Serial cheater – what makes one, 14 signs to watch, and what to do next]

A sudden change in shopping and wardrobe habits could very well indicate that she is buying all of these clothes to look good for another man. And if she’s not normally a big shopper, then that’s even worse.

What to do if you suspect your wife is cheating

If you have read this list and a lot of it is ringing true to you, then you might have a cheating wife. So, what should you do now? Here are some guidelines:

1. Don’t rush into anything

Your anger or sadness might get the best of you, but try not to let them. Sure, it’s going to be difficult. But try to keep your calm as best as you can. [Read: Should you forgive a cheater? How, and 21 must-knows to make a choice]

Don’t rush into anything such as demanding a divorce or moving out of the house immediately. Let it all sink in. You need to have proof or a confession that she’s cheating before you make any bold moves.

2. Put your kids first

If you have kids, they absolutely should come first. That means that if you decide to confront your wife about her possible cheating, do it in private. Make sure the kids can’t hear what you are talking about. It’s none of their business.

If you do decide to separate, don’t make the kids a part of the whole mess. They don’t want to know, nor should they know. You should allow them to be kids and keep all of the adult/parental drama away from them. [Read: Helicopter parents – 30 ways they ruin their children’s lives]

3. Keep things in perspective

Your head might be spinning out of control. That’s understandable; you might be in shock and/or incredibly upset. 

But try to keep things in perspective. It might seem like your world is crashing down around you, but if you handle things correctly, you will be just fine in the long run. You are strong and you will make it through this.

4. Face your companion

One thing you shouldn’t do is keep it to yourself. You should face your wife and talk to her about it. That is unless you want to bury your head in the sand for the rest of your life and pretend it’s not happening. [Read: Ways to confront a cheater who plays the victim card]

But before you confront her, you should have as much evidence as you can gather. You know she will probably deny it at first, so that’s why you need the evidence so she can’t. Tell her that you need to get to lay it all out on the table openly and honestly before you make your next decision.

5. Learn to relax

Learning that your wife has been cheating on you can make a man freak out – no doubt. Whether you are wrapped up in your rage or in your sorrow *or both*, try not to let your emotions get the best of you.

Try to relax the best you can. Maybe try to do some meditation or work out in the gym to blow off some steam. Either way, you need to stay calm, cool, and collected. [Read: How to reduce stress – 17 fastest hacks to a calmer and happier life]

6. Do something about it

Sure, you might want to wake up from what feels like a bad dream, but you can’t because it’s your reality now. Are you just going to sit there and try to pretend that your wife isn’t cheating on you?

The best thing to do is to do something about it. Don’t just sit back and let her take advantage of you. Do something for yourself and out of self-love.

[Read: Well-hidden signs you’re not the only one she is sleeping with]

No one wants to be cheated on, and no one wants to stay in a relationship with someone who’s cheating. By knowing the signs of a cheating wife, you can take the next step and confront her about it.

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Carol Morgan LP
Dr. Carol Morgan
Dr. Carol Morgan has a Ph.D. in communication and is a professor at Wright State University where she loves corrupting young minds. As a relationship and succes...