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How to Slide Into a Girl’s DMs, Rouse Her Interest and Get a Reply

how to slide into a girl's DMs

Social media is a literal lifesaver for dating in so many ways. If you want to know how to slide into a girl’s DMs, save face, and get a reply, read on!

What did we used to do before the days of social media? I mean, think about it, it’s terrifying! For a dude, figuring out how to slide into a girl’s DMs can be a breeze if you know the right words now. But before social media?! It really wasn’t easy irrespective of your gender.

We had to talk to the person, find out if they liked us, gauge it, and if we thought there was a chance of something more, we would ask them out. They could say no, and if they did, it was mortifying. Put simply, social media might have its haters, and even for lovers like me it has its downsides, but as far as helping shy types hook up is concerned, it’s a game changer!

No need to talk, and if they don’t reply or they say no, you simply avoid them for the duration of that month at least, and then it’s forgotten. Easy!

Of course, learning how to slide into a girl’s DMs needs a little background information and it needs to have a plan attached to it. You can’t just go sliding your way into anyone’s inbox and say whatever you want – firstly, it’s creepy, and secondly, girls want to feel like you’ve actually put some effort into this! [Read: How to stalk someone on social media and find everything you’re looking for]

What does sliding into a girl’s DM really mean?

If you’ve no idea what I’m talking about, perhaps I should rewind the tape for a second. What is sliding into a girl’s DMs really? No, it is nothing sordid, it basically means sending a girl a personal message *direct message* via their social media channels, normally Instagram or Facebook in this case.

By doing this, you’re initiating contact and that first conversation. You don’t tend to slide into the DMs of someone you’ve had a conversation with before, or someone you know really well, because that would just be a continuation of a conversation. No, the term ‘slide into DMs’ really means the first message to someone you don’t know well, or someone you haven’t met before in person but you like. From there, you hope that you will get to know them better, with more messages batting back and forth.

Social media certainly wasn’t meant to be for this type of indirect dating technique, but it’s a pleasant side effect. We can contact anyone, unless they’ve blocked us, and they then decide whether to reply, or not bother. When you try and message a girl, always remember that the chances of failure are there, but if you don’t try, you’ll never know! [Read: 15 things to avoid while DMing a girl to slide right in]

So, by reading this, you want to know not only how to slide into a girl’s DMs, but you also want to know how to do it in the most successful way, in order to receive a reply. No reply means a waste of time, right?

How to slide into a girl’s DMs and master the art form of getting a reply

Bear these points in mind when composing your message and sliding it on through!

#1 Be original. I have lost count of the number of random messages I have received which simply say something like ‘hi’, or ‘how are you?’. Seriously guys, be original, put some thought into it! We’re not likely to reply to someone who couldn’t even be bothered to come up with something interesting to say!

In addition, do not go straight in there with a borderline aggressive sexual flirting technique. ‘Hey, your legs look amazing in your pic’ is not something we want to hear, and is certainly not something we’re going to reply to. Block maybe, but not reply.

Instead, think of something nobody else will have thought of, a question maybe, something about the world or the universe! It sounds ridiculous but think about it on the flip-side, if someone sent you a message saying ‘hey, I saw your photo and I was wondering, how do you feel about pineapple on pizzas? Can you settle this debate for me?’ you’d laugh and think about it for a second, right? I know I would!

Come up with something original yet funny for the highest chances of a reply. [Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

#2 Don’t go with emoji overload or memes, seriously! Emojis, memes, gifs and all the other Internet-based animated pictures you come across can be saved for when you’re actually having a two way conversation and you’re getting to know each other.

Choosing far too many emojis makes you look immature, and I wouldn’t want to have to decipher a message through the visual art of images! I’m sure many other girls wouldn’t either! A smiley face on the end, fine. An aubergine and a peach on a first message – not fine. [Read: How to start a text conversation with a girl – 15 rules to impress]

Oh and guys, please, no dick pics, seriously. These will not only get your blocked but might even get you reported. Save it for an in person performance when you’re both on the same page perhaps. [Read: Dick selfies and why men love sharing them with unknown women]

#3 Do a little research. I’m not suggesting you stalk her social media pages to figure out what she’s into, but a quick background reading won’t hurt.

This means when you draft that first message, you can use something you’ve read, something she’s interested in. So, if she likes the same film as you, your first message could be something like ‘hey I saw you like Fight Club too, what is your favorite scene?’ That grabs her interests and it starts a conversation.

Clever, huh? [Read: How to start a conversation on Snapchat and subtly flirt your way in]

#4 Draft your message before you send it. I’m not suggesting every girl out there is a member of the grammar police like me, but I know if I received a message that was full of spelling mistakes and dodgy grammar, I wouldn’t be feeling the love.

Draft your message on your notes app before you send it, and then just copy and paste it over. This will let you read it properly, without the risk of accidentally hitting ‘send’ by accident.

#5 Choose your time of day carefully. If you want to know how to slide into a girl’s DMs and grab her attention, remember to pay attention to when you’re sending the text.

The timing of a guy’s message can say a lot. For instance, sending at message late at night means you’ve either got nothing better to do than sit scrolling through social media finding girls to message, or you’re looking for a late night hook up.

Similarly, if you send it halfway through the day, it might get swallowed up with the other messages she receives from friends and other contacts, and it might not get seen as quickly as you’d like. So, when is the best time? Mornings are good, or early evening perhaps. [Read: Texting etiquette – 20 unwritten rules of savvy flirting]

#6 Be cool with not receiving a message immediately, or at all. If you don’t get a reply within an hour or so, do not, I repeat, do not, send another one! Leave it alone! If she isn’t replying it is for one of two reasons, either she doesn’t want to, or she’s busy and she’ll reply later. If it’s the first reason, there’s nothing you can do about it, and you have to let it go. If it’s for the second reason, just wait and your phone will beep when it is ready!

There is nothing worse than a guy who is overly persistent. I mean there is a fine line between admirable persistence and stalker-ish tendencies.

Draft your message, read it over to check it, and send it. Once it’s gone, do your best to forget about it, stay busy, and don’t be tempted to keep checking your inbox. You’ll drive yourself crazy. If you send more than one message, you’ll also send her crazy, and not in a good way.

The idea sounds simple, but it’s astonishing just how many guys do wrong with these basic six steps. Seriously, it’s actually this simple!

Remember, when it comes to mastering how to slide into a girl’s DMS, I speak from experience when I say that a well-written, planned message is more likely to be successful than one which screams ‘chancer.’ Put some thought into it guys, and we’re more likely to respond!

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Nicky Curtis
Nicky Curtis
Having stumbled from one relationship drama to another throughout her 20s, Nicky is now somewhat of a guru in the crazy world of life and love. Telling it how i...

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