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Fragile Masculinity? 70 Things Men Do that Doesn’t Make You “Gay”

Bro, that is so “gay.” Hate that phrase? These 70 things set you free to be you and ignore the people who think you have fragile masculinity.

Fragile Masculinity

Fragile masculinity is what any straight guy fears most. Not wanting to come across as “gay,” men sometimes overdo it. Examples of a guy with fragile masculinity are the muscle heads who wear a wife beater just to show their pecs. Or, guys who go to the movies and leave a seat between them just to show that they aren’t “homos.”

It is amazing how fearful some guys can be of showing their feminine side. But the problem is that the more you try to negate the fact that you have a feminine side, the more all of us wonder what you are so fearful of.

Things to do to stop caring about what people think of your fragile masculinity

So, what are men so afraid of when it comes to showing their fragile masculinity? Perhaps, it is being made fun of by other guys, or perhaps it is a “thou dost protest too much.” Whatever drives the fragile masculinity, I am here to set you free.

Doing certain behaviors doesn’t make you gay. Being gay makes you gay. If you are okay with you, then stop worrying about what everyone else is saying or thinking.

#1 Have a manicure or pedicure. There is nothing wrong with grooming yourself. It doesn’t make you gay; it makes you attractive to the rest of civilization. [Read: What women find attractive: 16 traits girls instantly fall for]

#2 Hug a friend when they need it. Stop the skin hunger and just give in. Nothing feels better than a hug.

#3 Show your soft side. It is okay to have a rough exterior, just please keep your soft side.

#4 Watch a chick flick. You don’t have to pretend you hate it, or you can, just stop hiding the fact that you do it for love, or that you love chick flicks.

#5 Enjoy a chick flick. Enjoy it… love is awesome!

#6 Use lotion to make your skin soft. Men don’t get it, we love soft skin. It is okay, salve away!

#7 Use sunscreen. There is nothing masculine about skin cancer or wrinkles… although men pull them off, it is still nicer to look young.

#8 Cry when the occasion calls for it. So, it isn’t cool to just cry at will. But, when the occasion calls for it, have at it. Otherwise, you are just going to be a robot, and that’s not fun. [Read: How to understand the difference between men and women]

#9 Answer a girl if she says, “Does this look okay?” Admitting that you understand when someone looks good and when they don’t doesn’t make you gay, but not answering makes you irritating.

#10 Kiss your mom. No girl wants a momma’s boy, but we do want someone who loves their momma and isn’t afraid to show it.

#11 Wear tidy whities. If someone gives you shit, then you need to remind them that boxers don’t keep the “boys” safe. [Read: Do girls like boxers or briefs?]

#12 Use fabric softener. There is nothing wrong with wanting some good smelling clothes, that is human.

#13 Hold a girl’s purse for her. But only if she says “please.”

#14 Whiten your teeth. Being hot doesn’t make you gay. It just makes you hot.

#15 Care what you look like. Guys think that caring what you look like makes you gay. It makes you have some self-esteem and care about your appearance. Not a bad thing, promise!

#16 Let her drive. That way you can send emojis and text away… or just sleep. Whatever floats your boat.

#17 Let someone else drive. You don’t have to always have control. Masculinity doesn’t mean that you must have control all the time.

#18 Decorate your home. You work hard to enjoy what you have, so just enjoy it all out.

#19 Smell good. Boys should smell good too, and girls like it. So, if some other guy tells you you are gay, say “okay” as you drive away with the hot girl of your dreams. [Read: How to get girls to like you: 11 simple changes to win them over]

#20 Sit next to another guy at a theater. They won’t bite, and it doesn’t make you gay.

#21 Be well read. Novels and being intelligent through reading big words doesn’t make you a “homo.” It makes you smart and worldly.

#22 Have a comfortable comforter on your bed. There is nothing masculine about sleeping on the floor or being uncomfortable.

#23 Drink tea. If you want to drink warm or hot drinks that aren’t coffee, have at it. The truth is that if you wanted a latte that would be just as feminine.

#24 Eat low-fat foods and include vegetables. Being healthy isn’t feminine, it is survival of the fittest.

#25 Cook. All the best chefs are men, just embrace it.

#26 Go to therapy if needed. Being masculine isn’t about being screwed up and making everyone miserable. Seek help if you need it to save everyone in your life. [Read: 21 ways to find your inner happiness]

#27 Admit that another guy is good looking. Everyone hates a hater. If someone is hot, then you need just to admit it.

#28 Drink wine or fruity drinks. We all like the fruity side of life that has no gender. It is about good taste.

#29 Wear pink, purple, and yellow. Color doesn’t define you, you define you.

#30 Have dessert. Enjoying life isn’t anti-masculine, it is pro-human.

#31 Burn candles, especially to hide the stench of your house. Candles aren’t just what girls like, they take the moisture and ugly that sometimes, and excuse me here, boy can leave behind.

#32 Clean your apartment. Again, feminine doesn’t equal clean. Clean equals clean.

#33 Put your clothes into a dresser instead of leaving it in the hamper. It’s nice to open and drawer and find what you need.

#34 Talk about your feelings. I know really, really hard to do for guys. If you are all about it, then you are going to score the woman of your dreams and live a dream life! [Read: The 10 most important rules of a gentleman]

#35 Plant flowers. Yep, they are pretty, it is okay to admire beauty!

#36 Watch HGTV. Just not that twin guy show… they are questionable alone.

#37 Be excited to see an old friend. Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold.

#38 Be excited about anything. Being sullen isn’t masculine, it is just not fun.

#39 Smile really, really wide. Being childish isn’t feminine, it is living life to the fullest.

#40 Laugh, like totally belly laugh. Let it go… although liking Frozen might not win you the masculinity award.

#41 Compliment another guy. If you like it, you like it!

#42 Match. It means you have your shit together, totally okay and all good!

#43 Wear an undershirt. Especially if you are hairy. Chewbacca might have been masculine, but no one wanted to date him.

#44 Not like sports… yeah, I know, right? Totally okay and enjoyable from a female perspective.

#45 Watch baby videos on YouTube and think they are cute. We like when a man gets all giddy about babies, trust me!

#46 Admit that you want to get married and have kids someday. It isn’t weak to want to meet your lobster.

#47 Write love letters. You will be the envy of all your girlfriends, friends. Trust me on this one. [Read: 10 most important tips to write an amazing love letter]

#48 Separate your whites and colors when doing laundry. Unless you want to wear pink without wanting to wear pink, be smart.

#49 Do laundry before you turn your underwear inside out. Um, yuck.

#50 Keep a loofah in the shower. Exfoliation isn’t a weakness.

#51 Say I love you to another man. He doesn’t even have to be your dad or brother. Expressing love isn’t feminine, it is human. We should all love someone and many someone’s, otherwise what’s the point of life? [Read: We accept the love we think we deserve]

#52 Not chug beer or do whisky shots when asked or challenged. Yep, you can totally say no. If someone calls you a “pussy,” just remember that you will wake up better for it. They are going to be the pussy laying on the couch, or worse yet, the bathroom floor!

#53 Use Chapstick. Kissable lips are SO masculine.

#54 Keep your car clean. Don’t let those dinosaur bottles accumulate, they aren’t cool.

#55 Eat without leaving destruction in your wake. The fork isn’t a shovel. It is meant to get food in your mouth, I swear.

#56 Close your mouth while you chew. Cows give milk = not masculine.

#57 Wear jewelry. Earrings are okay if you wear them right. Pieces that remind you of someone are sentimental and cool, but the rest you might want to shelf.

#58 Get all silly when you see a rainbow. Yep, God is mysterious, and it is okay to admire nature.

#59 Baby talk to babies and small animals. That is built-in and a part of socialization. Okay, so maybe not with someone else’s child or dog, but it is your obligation for your own.

#60 Hug for no reason at all. Again, affection is not feminine, it is human.

#61 Send emojis at will. WTF, who cares?

#62 Wear a man bun if you must. I hate them but it is a trend, so have at it.

#63 Send thank you cards. An old practice, but you should bring it back, it is all about respect. [Read: Proper social etiquette: 12 rules that redefine modern manners]

#64 Text two minutes after receiving a text. Playing games doesn’t make you masculine, it just makes you miss out.

#65 Go ahead… order a salad. If you want to have a salad, the masculine thing to do is to make up your own damn mind!

#66 Use conditioner. Frizzy hair is awful for both masculine and feminine people. Do what you have to do to make yourself appealing.

#67 Use bath fizzes at will. They are fun… that is all I am going to say.

#68 Send a selfie, please just not nude unless you are awesomely gorgeous. Selfies, in general, are gay. But, if there is something amazing that you want to share or you are outright gorgeous, then a selfie is in order and not gender specific.

#69 Be a teacher, secretary, house cleaner, assistant, real estate agent, nurse, or nanny if you have the calling. Screw it, we all have a calling, and it isn’t about gender. It is about making a difference in someone’s life. Period. [Read: Self-concept: What it is and why it is crucial to your life]

#70 Stop worrying about what people think about who you are or what you are doing and just LIVE. Fragile masculinity is something that, fortunately, I don’t ever have to worry about. I don’t worry that anyone questions my femininity, and to be honest, I don’t really care if you are masculine or not. If you are okay with you, then stop worrying about everyone else.

[Read: Defining true masculinity: What does it mean to be a man?]

You only get one go ‘round. So you can spend it worrying about people guessing what is going on in your mind and gender, or you can just enjoy the best parts of life and not care about anyone else.

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Julie Keating

A writer isn’t born, but created out of experiences. No lack of subject matter, my life reads more like fiction than anything that could have been imagined...

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