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17 Sad But True Signs She’s Just Not That Into You & Never Will Be

We all desperately want our crush to feel the same way. But life can have different plans. Keep reading to know the signs she’s just not that into you.

signs she's just not that into you

The most popular notion is that women are complex creatures. In reality, all it takes is understanding women to understand the signs she’s just not that into you. As hard as it can be to understand a woman’s mind, there are several telltale signs to know whether a girl is into you or just ignoring you.

This feeling might suck as it completely ruins the fantasy in your head of a happily-ever-after, but you just need to face it when she doesn’t feel the same way. After all, you can’t control how she feels about you.

The earlier you know her feelings, the faster you can move on to someone who feels the same.

[Read: Are you boring her? 20 clear signs that she’s not interested]

Why does she not feel the same way?

It’s not personal when she doesn’t reciprocate your feelings. Sometimes, it has absolutely nothing to do with you. Maybe she’s just not looking for a relationship or isn’t ready for one, and that’s okay. But other times, it can have something to do with you. Maybe you’re just not her type, or you don’t fit her standards.

We all have our personal reasons why we don’t like someone, and it’s better to know the truth so you can accept it faster. No matter how much we wish we could, it’s impossible to control how someone feels for us.

The best thing is to accept the situation and move on. The faster you decipher the signs she’s just not that into you, the better.

[Read: How to talk to your crush – The secrets to make anyone fall for you]

The honest, telltale signs she’s just not into you

Some ladies like to give their signals loud and clear. And many others are subtle to the point that the average Joe won’t even figure out what she’s trying to say.

Maybe the girl you like is trying to be subtle because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings, or maybe she’s being clear, but you’re just assuming she’s playing hard to get! What signals are you getting from the girl you fancy?

For those of you who are worried that she’s not interested and need some added clarification, here are a few surefire signs to find out whether or not she’s into you at all.

[Read: How to tell if a girl doesn’t like you – 25 signs you should never ever ignore!]

1. There’s no eye contact

She simply doesn’t look at you. And we’re not talking about sheepishly looking away while she’s blushing. We mean she doesn’t look at you unless she really has to. Eye contact is the most intimate thing for two people to share, so if she refuses to even look at you, she’s not that into you.

Try to test if she’s giving you the look of love by trying out this method. Find a random girl who’s obviously into the guy she’s with. Check out the way she looks at him whens he talks to him, how her eyes twinkle and her mouth twitches to a little smile almost all the time.

Now, find a girl who’s out with a group of male and female friends and colleagues.

Compare how she looks and smiles at her guy colleagues with how the previous girl looks at the guy she likes. If the girl you like looks at you the same way the girl with her colleagues looks at other guys, then you know she’s not interested in being anything more than just friends with you. [Read: Is she playing hard to get? 20 signs she’s definitely not interested in you]

2. She’s not responsive or she makes excuses

The thing with women is that sometimes, they find it difficult to say no for fear of hurting your feelings. This can work for you or against you. So if she’s always finding excuses to avoid you or to prevent herself from hanging out with you, there’s your answer. It’s not a definite no, but it isn’t a definite yes either.

She’s making excuses to sugarcoat the truth that she isn’t interested in you, so she doesn’t hurt your feelings. If this is the case, then she may not be comfortable with you asking her out or she’s not comfortable with rejecting the advances of someone she doesn’t want to hurt. [Read: How girls casually reject guys they don’t like]

3. She looks bored or distracted

So you finally got to ask her out on a date. She must be into you, right? Wrong. First dates are full of potential, but they can turn sour really quickly. If she looks bored, has her arms crossed, or fiddles with her napkin, then there’s a slight possibility that this is a pity date.

She went on that date with you because you were too pushy, so she felt backed into a corner with her choice. Or, she felt bad for you and didn’t want to reject you right off the bat, so she gave you a chance.

A pity date is a date girls *and sometimes guys* go on because they sense that someone is really into them, even if they don’t feel the same way. And instead of spending a boring evening doing nothing, they say yes to the date just to pass time, and in the hope that you’ll never ask them out again. [Read: What is pity sex and 13 circumstances when people have sex just to get it over with]

4. It’s always a group date

Look, if you’re always in a group whenever you hang out, this isn’t an actual date. Other than the pity date, another date accepted by girls who aren’t into you are the group dates. She lightens the atmosphere by bringing along some of her pals. Sometimes, this could also mean she’s just uncomfortable doing a one-on-one date with you.

This is one of those subtle signs she’s just not that into you, at least not yet. The fact she doesn’t initiate a one-on-one date means she’s not interested in you enough to have a date, but it is possible that she’s testing you while hanging out with you and her friends. [Read: How to talk to more than one girl at a time and impress all of them at once!]

5. When you get introduced, it’s as a friend

There’s a difference between being introduced as a casual friend, and as a “friend.” A friend can be anyone she knows, possibly even an acquaintance. However, being introduced while being unnecessarily emphasized as a “friend” with awkwardness or a giggle can signify that you’re just a friend for now, until things progress. But it also means she knows for certain that you like her already.

So for the meantime, this means you’re friend-zoned until you do something about this. Unless you change your strategy or do something, she’ll keep seeing you as a friend and nothing more. [Read: 14 naughty and flirty ways to get out of the friend zone in no time]

6. She talks about other guys she’s interested in

This can mean two things – she’s not into you at all and she’s hoping to deter you from competing with the said guys or she’s telling you that there are other guys that catch her fancy and she isn’t interested in you. If this isn’t already one of the obvious signs she’s just not that into you, we don’t know what you’re looking for.

If she’s into you, she shouldn’t be talking about other guys – end of story. Even if she’s merely asking for your advice on how to talk to other guys, it means she just sees you as a friend and nothing more. [Read: 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone!]

7. She doesn’t get dressed up for you

Now, not all women make an effort to look good just for a guy. But sometimes, girls who are into someone would try to put more care into their appearance *e.g. wearing lipstick, wearing attractive clothing, putting on some perfume*.

If she doesn’t care about her appearance around you and especially doesn’t try to appear more attractive, she doesn’t care about what you think, nor is she concerned with pleasing you. Girls might not admit it, but they change even just a little bit of their appearance when it comes to the guy they like.

Otherwise, she doesn’t want you that much.

8. “I love you… Friend!”

Nothing secures your spot in the friend zone as much as these four words. Either man up and tell her your feelings or just accept being so near yet so far from her. There are instances where admitting your feelings can make her see you in a more romantic light.

But there’s also the possibility that she’ll say something along the lines of “I don’t want to ruin our friendship!”

Being in the friend zone may annoy you, and it’s hard to get out once you’re in. But don’t go blaming her if you fell for your friend and want to change the status quo all of a sudden, and she isn’t interested in being anything more. If she constantly says she loves you as a friend, there’s nothing romantic about this at all.

9. She’s uncomfortable when you send her gifts, however small

She can be either hesitant to accept it or she’s questioning why you’re giving her a gift when it’s not even her birthday. If she were into you, she’d accept it shyly and maybe even blush. But if she’s not into you, there’s a chance that she’d send it back or ask you not to give her gifts, ever.

We know you were expecting a completely different reaction, but this is because she’s just not that attracted to you. So she’s trying to keep you at arm’s length but refusing your gifts or being hesitant to receive them.

10. “I wish more guys were like you!”

Translation: I wish more guys I’m attracted to are like you. Ouch.

No matter how nice or chivalrous or clever you are, sometimes the girl you like will take all those traits and wish it were in another guy. After all, they say nice guys finish last, right? Look, we know this hurts, but at least everything’s out in the open.

If she says this line to you, it’s one of the signs she’s just not that into you. Don’t take it to heart, but use it as a motivation to move on and find someone who sees you for the gem you are! [Read: 33 qualities that differentiate a great boyfriend from a good guy]

11. She describes the man of her dreams… and it’s your polar opposite

It absolutely sucks when the girl you like doesn’t see you as a potential date or lover when you imagine the exact opposite. So if the man she describes is far from who you are, this is one of the signs she’s just not that into you.

One way she can do this is by stating that the man of her dreams makes six figures a month, is six foot five, has long flowing hair, and is muscular and big built, whereas you’re standing in front of her in at five foot seven, short hair, and skinny, and your idea of an extravagant date is Olive Garden. Take the hint even if she’s lying just to get you off her back, and let it go.

12. She calls you only when she needs something

Whether it’s free tickets to a Taylor Swift concert or added assistance with moving her furniture, you’re the one she runs to. This can be so wrong and manipulative on so many levels. If she only calls you when she needs something from you or when she’s bored and alone, it’s one of the concrete signs she’s just not that into you.

If she genuinely liked you, she shouldn’t be taking advantage of your feelings. She knows that men want to help out a damsel in distress, and even more so if it’s a damsel in distress he fancies.

But when you try to have a conversation or you try to invite her for lunch, she gives you an excuse, and possibly the boot too! [Read: 15 signs the girl you like is just using you, leading you on and taking you nowhere!]

13. Lack of physical contact

You can tell how much a girl likes you by how often she initiates physical contact, even if it’s a simple touch on your arm. If she’s always touching you, she’s comfortable enough around you and likes you.

So if you notice that she never even attempts to touch you and even when saying goodbye, she doesn’t hug you or even put her arm around you, she’s just not interested. If she is, she will come up with every excuse in the book to touch you. [Read: 19 types of hugs from a girl and what each hug means]

14. Her replies to your texts are dull and stiff

You keep wondering why her texts to you are often so bland and dry when she’s the opposite when you get a chance to talk to her or when she’s around friends. The harsh truth is that dull replies are signs she’s just not that into you. She’s responding not because she likes you and wants to develop a connection, but simply out of pity.

She feels terrible for not responding, or maybe it’s just in her nature to respond to all texts she receives. So don’t take it as a sign she’s into you when she responds.

The fact that her energy is so lifeless reflects her lack of interest in you. This is probably not what you wanted to hear from us, but it’s the truth. [Read: Dry texting – The real meaning behind those one-word text responses]

15. She gives hints she’s not interested

Girls can often feel terrible about saying ‘no’ directly, so dropping hints is one way to let a guy down. If she’s throwing hints every now and then, you can be sure she doesn’t like you the same way. [Read: 9 quick ways to know if your crush isn’t into you]

Maybe it’s constantly talking about this guy she’s crushing on or she’s telling you she’s not ready to date, but you find her flirting with another guy.

It might be her saying she’s not ready to date YOU, but she’s willing to date other guys. It sucks, we know. But better to face the facts rather than bury yourself with a lie, right?

16. She never initiates

One of the signs she’s just not that into you is the lack of initiative with anything. Whether it’s making plans with you, talking to you, texting you, or asking to hang out, she never goes first. It’s obvious she doesn’t care about you and even if she does, it’s not in the way you’re assuming.

If she was into you, she would be eager to talk to you or having any communication with you, and wouldn’t mind going first. The only time she initiates is when she needs something from you, and that’s how you can be sure that the feeling definitely isn’t mutual. [Read: 16 signs she’s using you, leading you on and only pretending to care]

17. She doesn’t remember or know anything about you

When a girl isn’t interested, she just doesn’t care enough about who you are as a person. So even if you’ve told her everything, she probably wasn’t listening or was just pretending to because she feels bad for you.

The lack of knowledge about you is one of the signs she’s just not that into you as you’re basically insignificant for her to remember the essential details about you. Maybe you told her that your favorite color was blue and that you own a business. She won’t remember any of these if she’s not into you.

[Read: 13 painful & soul-crushing signs your crush doesn’t like you back]

So do you see any signs she’s just not that into you?

It’s difficult to accept when she doesn’t feel the same way, we know.

However, it’s necessary if you’re going to find the right girl for you – someone who sees your worth and appreciates you for who you are.

Cheer up if these signs she’s not into you was basically a list of things the girl you like does to you. At last, you can move on and know for sure that she doesn’t like you the same way.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...