Why Women Pull Away: 12 Reasons Why Girls Run as You Get Closer

You’re dating a girl and want to take it to the next level, but do you feel like she’s pulling away? Here’s why women pull away in the first place.

why women pull away

This always happens, even to the best of us. We’re hanging out with someone, we start to develop feelings, and just when you think everything’s going great, boom. It ends. Don’t worry, you’re not the only one wondering why women pull away.

Sadly, this happens to most of us, even me. I went to Australia for a guy, and he pulled away while I was there, so don’t think it’s so cheery on our side either. So, if you’re dealing with this right now, I understand.

Why women pull away

You probably think that women are complicated, but it’s not women, it’s people in general. People are complicated and make things so much more dramatic than they need to be. Listen, I don’t know what’s going on in their heads, but, I have a pretty good idea behind why women pull away. I know it’s cliché, but it’s not you. It’s them.

I mean, they may not be sure or into you, but that’s not because you’re doing something wrong. So, don’t think you’re the problem.

#1 It’s all happening too soon. She didn’t expect this to happen. Now she’s freaking out. It’s normal when people fall in love, everything just falls off balance and you’re taken down this whirlwind that you didn’t expect.

But at the same time, she’s scared. When things happen all of a sudden it becomes very overwhelming, causing people to just take a break and get some air. Maybe all she needs is some air. [Read: What a woman really wants when she pulls away]

#2 You’re too aggressive. You’re too much and not in a good way. You’re too much in her face, too lovey dovey, just too much. This isn’t bad, but for her, it’s overwhelming. Take it easy, cowboy. Your aggressiveness is causing her to freak out and retreat. If you want her, it’s cool, but don’t make her feel like she’s being hunted.

#3 She’s terrified. Falling in love is a big deal. It’s terrifying. I fell in love and got rejected, so you can only imagine how she’s feeling. Not everyone is so willing to jump into a relationship like you or me.

Some people take longer to process their feelings and really decide if it’s for them or not. So, maybe she really likes you, but she’s scared as shit. Don’t pressure her, give her space, and talk to her. If she’s scared, she’ll tell you what she needs from you. [Read: 10 clearest signs you should back off when pursuing a girl]

#4 She’s trying to figure things out. She likes you, but she’s trying to grasp onto the railings, if you get what I mean. Maybe this was unexpected and now she’s off balance. She just needs to figure out if this is what she wants and how this relationship will work for her. In this case, she needs time to adjust. Communicate openly with her.

#5 She isn’t feeling the same way. She went on a couple dates with you, tried it out, but she’s not into you like that. Sure, she thinks you’re nice and a good person, but for her, you’re missing something. This doesn’t mean you miss something, you are who you are, but you’re not for her. She knows that, hence, why she’s pulling away from you. [Read: Is she flirting or just being friendly? The real differences]

#6 She’s not sure. She likes you, but she’s just not sure if you’re the one she wants to date. I know, it’s harsh to read that, but it happens. She tests you out and if she pulls away, maybe you’re not the one for her. Which, on the bright side, is good that you found out now.

This has probably happened to you as well, maybe you liked a girl, but not enough to be exclusive with her. Right now, this is what’s happening.

#7 You’re not being patient. One of the biggest reasons why women pull away is because you’re rushing things too quickly. She likes you, you like her, but you’re already looking for the ring, and it’s only the second date. You need to slow it down and take a breath.

If you’re too impatient, she feels it and that makes someone uncomfortable very easily. So, just try to enjoy the moment and though you want a future with her, don’t make it so obvious just yet. [Read: 8 signs you’re coming on way too strong]

#8 She actually really likes you. She really likes you. In fact, she likes you a lot. This is a terrifying thought for many people. I mean, when you like someone, you open yourself up to getting hurt. And what’s the best way to not get hurt? To not see anyone or at least to keep things casual. If things get too serious and she sees herself falling for you, she’s out.

#9 She’s suffering from “FOMO.” Or, also known as the fear of missing out. Listen, she likes you, but she’s also interested in the guy that works at Starbucks. Do you get what I mean? She doesn’t want to commit to you because she’s not fully ready to stop seeing other people.

You’re too serious for her, and she still wants to play the field. This doesn’t mean she doesn’t like you, she does, but not enough. [Read: 15 signs she’s leading you on and taking you nowhere]

#10 You’ve become “soft.” Now, I don’t think you should become an asshole to try to keep her, this isn’t what it’s about. But she liked the chase and she liked that you didn’t always give her what she wanted.

Now, you’re in love with her and you want to do nothing more than shower her with gifts, I get it. But don’t do it. Treat her well and treat her with respect but don’t throw in the towel and surrender yourself to her. She may be bored now that she’s getting her way all the time.

#11 You’re not giving her space. You clearly see that she’s pulling away. Instead of communicating with her or giving her space, you suffocate her. Which, I understand, you’re scared of losing her so you try to pull her back to you. But, by suffocating her with yourself, you won’t get her back.

You need to give her the space she needs since she’s clearly already in her head with thought. Instead of being in her face, talk to her. [Read: How to give space in a relationship and not drift apart]

#12 You’re not communicating how you feel. She may really be into you, but you’re not letting her know that you’re into her. So, why would she invest her time into someone who she can’t fully read? How does she know you’re into her if you don’t express it in some fashion?

She may be pulling away because she feels she’ll get hurt in the end. Now, it doesn’t matter if you really like her, she can’t tell if you do, so it’s the same as not liking her.

[Read: How to let a girl know you genuinely like her, without even telling her]

Now that you know why women pull away, don’t be so hard on yourself. Sure, what she did wasn’t nice, but she’s clearly not the one for you. So, be happy, you dodged a bullet.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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