Signs She Is Testing You: 11 Biggest Tests A Girl Puts You Through

Women are mysterious creatures! And they are always watching you. But how do you know what they are looking for? Here are the signs she is testing you.

signs she is testing you

It’s not easy to really know the signs she is testing you. Some men do, but most just fall right into the trap. Now, it’s not the tests that you get in school with a pencil and paper, that would be too easy. No, no, this is the test that tells her whether or not you’re boyfriend material. Whether or not she should invest any of her time and energy in you.

Why would she test you and what does that mean?

The types of tests she uses on you are meant to help her figure out what kind of person you are and what type of partner you’d be. [Read: Understanding every girl’s shit test and how to pass them all] In other words, she is trying to figure out if you measure up to her expectations.

This may sound archaic, but let’s face it, you test women you’re interested in as well, and you may not even know it. This is all about finding the best mate. Weird when you think about it like that, right? But when we strip everything down, that’s what it is.

Testing someone might sound a bit petty, and you probably don’t appreciate the fact that she is analyzing everything about you. But think about it. Everyone does it.

She wants to find the best partner, so she puts you through some tests to make sure you’re what she wants. If not, she’s onto the next.

That’s what dating and relationships are all about. Just because you are committed to someone right now doesn’t mean that you will be with them forever. Most people have to date a lot – and break up a lot – in order to find the person who is the best match for them. [Read: What makes a man attractive? 38 traits that make a woman desire you]

Some tests are quite obvious, but others are not. And some are conscious – and done deliberately – and some are unconscious. Regardless, if you see signs she is testing you, don’t freak out. It’s not necessarily a bad thing.

And also, don’t stress out about whether you pass the test or not. Because here’s the thing. If you don’t pass the test and she decides you’re not the person for her, then would you really want to be with her anyway? Why would you want to date a partner who doesn’t think you are a good match for her?

So, testing is kind of a blessing in disguise. Because in the long run, it benefits not just her, but you as well.

It’s not you

First of all, understand that these tests aren’t specific to you as a person. Think of it when you need to get your car checked. The mechanic checks every car, no matter the brand or year.

The same thing goes for women. Though you may tell them one thing, they will do a routine test to make sure you are what you say you are. [Read: The mental checklist women use to evaluate men they date]

It can be very easy to take it personally when you see signs she is testing you. You might doubt yourself and think there is something wrong with you if she wants to test you. But there isn’t.

You see, she’s being “selfish.” And selfish isn’t always a bad thing. Sure, it’s bad to be selfish all the time and never let anyone else be happy but yourself. But in this testing situation, she is really just trying to find out who is best for her. And as we mentioned above, that is actually a good thing in the long run.

Each woman has a different test

Here’s the thing. Although there are generic tests which most women use on men, the fact of the matter is every woman looks for something different in a man. Therefore, while one woman may focus on one thing, another focuses on something different.

For some women, manners are very important, while for others, they review your father potential. [Read: 10 really great qualities in a guy that all girls admire]

Another example is that many women value money. That could be considered shallow, but it could just be one of her values. You can’t judge a woman for not wanting to be with a man who is jobless, homeless, and/or lives in his parents’ basement, can you? No one wants to be with a slacker who has no direction or ambition in life.

Some women value looks. True, most men aren’t models with a raging six-pack, but that is attractive to a lot of women. It says that the man is healthy and takes care of himself.

But believe it or not, some women actually like the “teddy bear” look on a man. They like him with a little belly on himself.

You see, it’s all relative. So, don’t get nervous or scared that you aren’t the richest or hottest guy in the world. Or when you see these signs she is testing you. The right woman will think you are perfect! [Read: How to treat your girlfriend right and make her feel like a queen]

You’re always being tested

Sorry to tell you this, but before we carry on, you should know that no matter what, you’re constantly being tested. If she sees you as a potential partner, she keeps a very close eye on everything you do, seeing what she likes, what she doesn’t like, and if you can be a true partner for her.

Even when people are in long-term relationships or married, they still test their partner. The test them to see if they will notice the dishes are dirty and need to be put in the dishwasher. They test them to see if they remember anniversaries and birthdays. They test and judge you on what kind of presents you give.

And just remember that she’s always going to push you. That’s just how life works. So, you better get used to it.

She pushes her boundaries with you to see how far she can go, plus, also see your reaction as well. She wants to know how you argue, what you do when you’re pressured, and how far she can get her way until you put your foot down. [Read: What a guy needs to do when a girl plays hard to get]

The must-know signs she is testing you

But, what are the tests? Good question. What’s even better is that the answers are right here. It’s time to know the truth, so stick with us here and we will get to those signs in just a bit.

1. She lets you meet her friends

This is one of the biggest tests. If she introduces you to her friends, it’s the final acceptance into her life. Her friends are the ones that are going to do the testing for her while she sits back and watches.

They’ll ask you questions, tease you, and poke you to see how you react. If they like you, you’re in. If not, you’re faced with more tests to overcome that. [Read: How to turn a girl on and leave her wet and tingly when you’re around]

2. She lets you meet her family

Some people are very private when it comes to who they introduce to their family. So, if you have made it that far and you meet her parents and siblings, she is testing you to see if you get along with them.

And she also wants to see if they like you. Because think about it. No one wants to have their spouse be the black sheep of the family, right? You want everyone to like each other and get along well.

3. She watches where your eye wanders

If you check out the waitress in front of her, well, you failed the test big time. You didn’t think she noticed? Trust me, when you first start dating, she notices all the small things, especially this.

She’s watching your body language in front of other women and who you look at. This way, she sees if you’re faithful or not. But if you really liked her anyway, your eyes would be on her, right? [Read: Why do men look at other women?]

4. She asks you about the past

One of the clear signs she’s testing you is when she prods into your past romances. This isn’t because she’s super interested to know about your past relationships. In essence, she doesn’t really care, but what she does want to know is how they all ended. Why did your ex dump you? Why did you dump her? The way you talk about your past relationships shows a lot about you as a person and how you think about the people you once loved.

5. She watches your manners

Maybe paying for the first date or helping her put on her coat seems a little old-fashioned, but these small things show a huge part of your personality. This doesn’t mean you think she incapable of putting on her jacket by herself, but you show her respect. Plus, if she struggles to get her arm in the hole, well, it’s always nice to have someone that helps you out. [Read: 16 first date tips for guys to completely dazzle her]

6. She asks you about your future goals

Talking about goals and dreams may seem cheesy, but they’re questions asked for a specific reason. She’s testing you about the future. She wants to know what kind of future you see for yourself, and where you think you’ll be in five or ten years.

Does this really matter now? No. But if this ends up as a serious relationship, she wants to know what she’s getting herself into.

7. She watches how you interact with animals

Great movie, by the way. But seriously, if she has a cat or a dog, she uses them to test you. If her dog or cat doesn’t like you, she listens to them because animals never lie. They don’t have a hidden agenda, but you do.

So, another huge test is whether or not her pet accepts you. If they bark or growl at you, it’s not a good sign. [Read: Why millennials are choosing to have fur babies instead]

8. She watches the kinds of dates you plan

From the very first date, she notices what you suggest. Do you call it “hanging out” or do you call it a “date?” Those are two very different things in her mind. Do you take her for coffee or do you take her out to a fancy dinner?

The first date *and subsequent dates* tell her a lot about you, such as how much money you have, how cheap you are, how much you plan in advance, and how thoughtful you are. So, keep this in mind when you take her out.

9. She watches how you treat other people

If you’re at a restaurant, she will notice how you treat the server. Do you call them by their actual name and look them in the eye? Do you treat them like a human being? Or are you rude and expect them to be your servant?

It’s not just about servers. How you treat everyone – from holding the door for a little old lady to how you treat her niece. It all matters and she’s always watching. [Read: 17 Sad but true signs that she’s just not that into you and never will be]

10. She talks about marriage and kids

She will bring up topics like “What do you think of marriage?” Or “How long do you think two people should be together before they get married? Or “How old were your parents when they got married?”

These are indirect questions to test whether or not you are thinking about marriage and kids in the future. She will even notice how you treat and interact with children, such as her niece and nephews. She is assessing whether or not you would be a good father to her children one day in the future.

11. She watches you on social media

This is a big one. Women notice all the time what their men are doing on social media. She knows whether you follow hot women on Instagram, and if you comment on women’s posts *and what you say.* And whether or not you are “official” on social media and how often you post pictures of her are two very important things she watches. [Read: The ideal perfect date – 16 things every girl hopes and expects on a date]

She’s watching you! Be very careful what you say and do on social media, because there are a lot of things that can get you into trouble with a woman.

Remember, if she’s testing you, she likes you

If she’s not interested, she’s not wasting her time. Why would she? She doesn’t see you in her future. But if she starts testing you, she’s seeing if you fit into her life. It’s a good sign if you notice these tests being used on you, all you need to do is pass them.

[Read: How to tell if a girl is into you when she’s not dropping any clues]

Now that you know the signs she is testing you, you’re definitely one step ahead of the other guys. They are completely lost with how the dating scene actually works. 

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Natasha_Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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