How to Start a Text Conversation With a Girl: 15 Rules to Impress

You see a girl you like, you talk to her, and get her number. Now what? If you want a first date, know how to start a text conversation with a girl.

how to start a text conversation with a girl

The times where you would call a girl and talk to her over the phone are long gone. Well, they’re still around but guys who call girls are about as rare as unicorn sperm. Now, it’s all about texting. Don’t ask me why, I think it’s impersonal and takes too long, but, who am I? Knowing how to start a text conversation with a girl is modern dating 101.

Though, texting isn’t bad for you fellas, it does give you some time to think of something interesting to say.

How to start a text conversation with a girl – The right steps

But before you text her ‘hi’ and completely ruin your chances of getting a first date, how about we figure out how to start a text conversation with a girl. Maybe I’m putting too much pressure on this, but if you do it right, you’ll have her hooked within the first couple messages. That’s what you wanted, right?

Because let’s face it. Saying ‘hi,’ isn’t going to cut it.

#1 Who is she to you? How do you know this girl? Is she a friend you lost contact with, did you just meet her at a bar/club or did you get her number from a friend? The relationship you have with her will determine how you’re going to text her.

For example, if you know her from way back, you can easily start the conversation by saying, “knock, knock…” or “I saw your pictures from South America, it looks amazing!” [Read: How to text a girl you like and make her want you]

#2 What not to say. Okay, so if you’re really not sure how to start a conversation, here’s what you shouldn’t say. Don’t say, “hi,” “what’s up?””how are you?” Because she can easily answer these questions in one or two words. Plus, they’re boring questions and literally we get hundreds of those.

So, why is your “what’s up?” different from all the others? Exactly. It’s dull. If this was Tinder, we’d swipe left to your lame question.

#3 Spark her curiosity. You want to spark her interest in you and get her talking. Depending on how you met her, say something about the club you two were at, something she posted on Facebook. Try using humor, that is if you’re funny. If you’re not naturally a funny guy, don’t force it, it’s going to flop. So, make sure you’re acting yourself while texting her. [Read: How often should you text a girl? 17 must-know rules of texting]

#4 Keep the texts short. No one, man or woman, likes reading an essay on their phone. Keep it to a minimum. A couple of lines. Try to keep your messages shorter than hers.

If she’s only replying with one or two words, well, then maybe she’s not as interested as you thought. This is when you pull back and either let her engage more in conversation or try again in a day or two. [Read: 11 realistic reasons why she isn’t responding to your texts]

#5 Go easy on the smiley faces. You’re not ten-years-old. I mean, you can use them, but try to use them rarely. Hmm, let’s say, only use them on very special occasions. It just gives off this immature vibe to us, that is unless she’s heavy on the smiley faces. If so, I’m thinking you can go all out if you want. However, the general rule is, go easy on them.

#6 If she doesn’t reply, don’t text her right away. If she’s not replying in the timely fashion that you want, texting her again and again, won’t get her to reply any faster. In fact, if I was her, I would see that as a red flag.

You look clingy and desperate. Two things girls don’t want to associate with. So, if she doesn’t reply either wait for her to reply, or write her the next day. Don’t go chasing her down. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

#7 Don’t tell her you like her. If you’re texting her your deepest feelings about her, just put that in your saved drafts and leave it in there. Forever. First of all, I think you can do a lot better than that. Texting her that you like her? What are we in? High school?

If you like her, you tell it to her face. Plus, what if she likes you too? You can’t even kiss her.

#8 Keep the questions open-ended. If they’re not open-ended she may reply just with “yeah” or “lol.” Your conversation isn’t going to go far. Make sure the questions can be answered in a couple sentences, that way, it’ll get her talking and the conversation flowing. Plus, closed questions are usually boring to answer. “Do you like dogs?” “Do you like watching movies?” Yawn. [Read: Make her yours – The right way to flirt with a girl over text]

#9 Is she asking you questions? Make sure that she’s asking you questions. It’s a good sign that she’s interested in you. This doesn’t mean you ask her to ask you something. She should want to do this naturally. If she’s the only one answering questions, well, then it’s sounding very one-sided, so if I were you, I would back off and see if she initiates anything.

#10 Be easy on the sexual innuendo. We know what you boys want, we’re not stupid. Whether you’re going to get it is a different story, but we don’t want to be harassed by you asking us for nudes. I know you’re horny, but you’re going to have to play it cool. We’re not fans of guys who are overly pushy on these types of things. Trust me, if we want to send you a picture, we’ll do it on our own.

#11 At least pretend that you’re busy. If you’re always sitting on the couch playing video games, that doesn’t sound like a turn on. You don’t have to pretend you’re a CEO or some upcoming movie star. But if you have a tendency to do nothing with your day, at least say that you’re walking your dog or doing the dishes. Literally, anything.

#12 She’s not your grandma. But really, she’s not. So, if you bring up the weather, do a U-turn and get off that road. If you find yourself starting to ask her questions that you would ask someone over the age of 70, stop. Take a break and refresh yourself. If it’s like this again, well, maybe you two don’t connect like you hoped.

#13 Know when it’s time to end the conversation. Conversations aren’t meant to last forever. It’s okay if the conversation dies out. I mean, you met her once, so, don’t be so hard on yourself.

It’s okay to take a pause and text her again later in the day or the day after. If you force the conversation to continue, it ends up being dull and somewhat painful to sit through. [Read: How to ask a girl out over text – 7 steps to an instant yes]

#14 Stay social media light. If you two are just starting to text each other and you also have each other on Facebook and/or Instagram, this doesn’t mean now you have the green light to like every post and photo for the past two years. Be cool. If you start looking too eager, she may get scared and pull back. [Read: 18 really obvious signs that a girl likes you over text]

#15 Ask her out. If the conversation is dying or it’s come to that point in time where you feel it’s time to ask her out, do it. What do you have to lose? So, you can say, “we should go for coffee” or “I know you want to see ___ movie, let’s go see it this weekend.” If she says yes, then book a day and time right after her response. Don’t let too much time pass.

[Read: 18 casual things to text a girl and leave her addicted to you]

Now that you know how to start a text conversation with a girl, you have no excuse but to practice. Will you snag the first girl you try this with? You have a 50/50 chance. You may not succeed the first time round, but with enough practice, you’ll own it.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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