When a Girl Doesn’t Text Back! 39 Reasons & What You Need to Do Next

What does it mean when a girl doesn’t text back? And, what should you do about it, if anything? Let’s explore this complex and rather annoying subject.

when a girl doesn't text back

What can we say? Love works in mysterious ways. You may be thinking you’re connecting with a woman you’re talking to, but you just never know. Sure, she gave you her number, but was it genuine interest or because she felt bad? You text her, and she doesn’t respond. Well, what’s a guy to do when a girl doesn’t text back? Let’s dive in head first!

Women can sometimes be strange creatures. But then again, don’t think guys are innocent. You’ve been known to simply stop texting and ghost women too!

So, we think it’s fair to say both sexes suffer from the “no text back” situation. It’s frustrating, annoying, and definitely confusing.

But don’t spend too much time thinking about it. It’s not worth it. Here are all the reasons why she may not be texting back. [Read: 27 clear signs she’s not interested in you anymore and starting to get bored]

When a girl doesn’t text back – The possible reasons why

It’s a question no one really wants to ask but we all want the answer to. Of course, we all hope she lost her phone or her dog peed on it. Sorry to break it to you, but it’s usually not the case.

When a girl doesn’t text back, for sure, it might be that she somehow lost your number, but it’s likely to be something deeper. Here are the main reasons and then let’s talk about what you should do.

1. Things happen

There’s no other way to say this, things just happen. She may be a student or have a full-time job, she’s busy. Maybe she became sick or has children.

The point is her mind has other things that she needs to deal with. Life can be overwhelming. [Read: How to know when you should back off when pursuing a girl]

2. She was being polite

Yeah, it would have been better if she had just said ‘no,’ we know. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave you her number because she didn’t want to be mean.

Of course, she now looks even worse since she’s ghosting you, but now you know she’s not good in conflict situations. [Read: 17 sad but true signs she’s not into you and never will be]

3. She lost interest

Maybe you spoke on the phone after meeting each other. But since the last phone call or text, she hasn’t shown any desire in reaching out. If you’re not bringing any thought-provoking conversation to the table, she’ll lose interest.

We’re in the age of accessibility and instant gratification. If we’re not instantly amused and entertained, we’re onto the next person. It’s sad but true.

4. She’s hoping you’ll get the hint

Women generally avoid confrontation, instead, they ignore people. As you get older, women do mature, but for a majority of their twenties, they will still act like adolescent girls.

By ignoring you, she’s hoping you’ll get the hint that she’s not interested. [Read: What to do when a girl ignores you and doesn’t give you another chance]

5. You’re not the only guy in her life

She may have given you her number, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely single. Though she may be the only girl for you, she probably has other guys giving her attention as well.

6. Or, she likes someone else

Even if you had a great conversation with the girl at the bar, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are her top choice. If she has her eye on someone else, or she’s had a crush on another guy for a long time, she may be reluctant to see someone else. [Read: 14 subtle signs she’s not over her ex and still misses him]

7. You’re being creepy

No guy wants to hear this but it’s time you did. Are you being creepy? Are you sending her twenty text messages a day?

Are you calling her if she doesn’t text you back right away? Are you liking everything on her social media?

That’s what we like to call a beautiful blend of desperation and creepiness! Back way off, you’re scaring her. [Read: The 24 types of creepy guys girls avoid talking to]

8. Her phone is broken

This is the simplest possible answer. It could really just be that she dropped her phone and she doesn’t have a backup readily available to stick her SIM card in. An easy way to resolve this would be to send her a message on Facebook, or just ask her friends if she’s been receiving your text.

9. She’s playing hard to get

Sometimes girls will intentionally not respond to you, because they are playing hard to get.

In other words, they just don’t want to come across as too easy. They want you to show some effort – they want you to not give up easily. [Read: Shit test – What it is, how girls use it and how to pass the test]

10. She’s genuinely busy

Sometimes women just have a lot on their plates. Even if they like to go to the bar and flirt, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they are ready to start a new relationship, or that they want to be texting with you regularly.

When a girl doesn’t text back and you suspect that this is the case, it may be a good idea to just keep looking and not spend too much time waiting on her.

11. She may have accidentally deleted your text

Occasionally, technical mix-ups like this do happen. If you really think that she likes you, it might be worth it to send her another text, just to make sure that something like this didn’t happen. It’s rare, but it’s possible.

12. She’s extremely shy

If you had a great conversation with the girl at the bar, she may have been a little bit tipsy. Perhaps the alcohol was giving her confidence that she doesn’t normally have. Maybe now that she is sober, she is simply too shy to text you back.

If you suspect that this is what is happening, it is definitely a good idea to be on the very gentle side with your texts. You don’t want to scare her away.

Start off with open-ended questions and sweet little greetings. When she warms up to you, she’s bound to send a reply. [Read: How to talk to a shy girl – 21 ways to get her to feel comfortable and open up]

13. She doesn’t actually like you that much

Hopefully, it’s not the case, but if she isn’t texting you back after a few days, this could definitely be what is going on.

Perhaps she isn’t responding because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings by saying “I actually don’t like you that much. Thanks though.”

14. She might be insecure about something she didn’t tell you

This is another potential reason why she might not be texting you back.

For example, say that you met a great girl and you really hit it off. What she may not have told you is that she has five kids, and she doesn’t think that you will like her because of that.

15. She’s actually a lesbian

This is probably a very rare scenario, but who knows, maybe that hot little number that you were talking to at the club was actually a lesbian. Maybe she just liked the attention you were giving her. Or maybe she was just drunk. [Read: How to tell if a girl is gay by the way she behaves around you]

16. She accidentally gave you the wrong number

When a girl doesn’t text back, this could be another very simple and logical explanation for what is happening.

After a few drinks, those ones can start to look like sevens. Also, you could have just entered it into your phone wrong. If you still have the number, you may want to go back and double-check that you are texting Darcy, and not Darlene, the 86-year-old nun from Idaho.

Of course, you could always go online and message her there. But that’s only if she was nice enough to give you her Twitter handle or her Instagram details.

17. She forgot

This is another simple, but definitely possible explanation. Sometimes, people simply forget to respond to texts.

You may have been waiting for it all day, but she could have been in the middle of a “Sex and the City” marathon with her BFF when you sent her your message.

18. Things have changed

We know the word “things” is really vague. But we used that word because there could be countless circumstances that have changed.

Or maybe she was just drunk when you met. Or maybe she’s moving to a different country and didn’t tell you. The possibilities for change are endless.

19. She was just being polite when she gave you her number

Let’s face it, guys. Most girls don’t like to hurt other people’s feelings *although some have no problem with it*. But most normal human beings have a heart.

So even if she didn’t like you, she didn’t want to make you feel bad by saying you couldn’t have her number. Cruel, we know. But in her head, she was being kinder. [Read: How to tell if a girl doesn’t like you – 25 signs she’s rejected you]

20. You appeared too stand-offish to her

The whole “bad boy” persona doesn’t always work. Bad boys are stand-offish. Girls like to know that a guy is into her.

But if you act all cool and aloof *even if you asked for her number*, she might be turned off by that.

21. You seemed too much like a smooth-talker

Now we have the whole stereotype of the player. You know the type… the one who will say anything to get a girl into bed.

Compliments, touching, body language… you know how it goes. So maybe she thought all of your moves were just a fake act.

22. She didn’t like what you texted her

If you just texted, “hey,” she might think it was boring and lacked effort. Or if you complimented her perfect butt, she might think it’s inappropriate.

Think about what you said to her, and see if you think maybe it’s not in line with what she wanted to hear. [Read: What to text a girl – Dos, don’ts and all the secrets to know]

23. You are being too sexually forward

Please, guys. No dick pictures. Really! It’s just nasty. Maybe if you’re in a committed relationship, it’s different. But if you don’t really know a girl, that does NOT turn her on! It turns her off.

And even if it’s just sexual talk, it’s just not appropriate. And that’s a huge reason she didn’t text back. So just don’t do it. Keep it classy.

24. You are being too needy

If you are constantly asking when you can see her again, or if you’re texting her all day every day… ummm… yeah… NEEDY.

Needy is icky. And that’s why she didn’t text back. There’s a difference between being interested in someone and being needy. Sometimes less is more. [Read: 18 serious warning signs of a clingy guy and why girls always avoid them]

25. You’re complimenting her too much

Believe it or not, some people don’t like compliments. It makes them feel uncomfortable. Or even if they do like it when you compliment them, if you say too much, then it sounds fake.

Compliments are great when they are unique and genuine. But if you’re doing it in every other text, hold off. It’s too much.

26. You won’t leave her alone

She does have a life, you know. And if you’re not dating her, then you are not the center of it. She has work. She has friends. She has other obligations other than texting you back. So, if you keep badgering her, it will turn her off.

27. She has a boyfriend

This is not classy on HER part, but it happens. She probably really liked you, so she acted like she was single. She went along with it, because she was enjoying the moment.

Selfish? Yes. Does it happen? Absolutely. It’s a bummer, and unethical, but it’s reality… and a good reason she didn’t text back. [Read: Is a girl with a boyfriend flirting with you?]

28. She doesn’t think you’re unique enough

Maybe you’re using the same lines as the last 10 guys she talked to. Or you suggested dinner and a movie, and she thinks that’s “yawn-worthy.” Girls like guys who are different, but in a good way.

29. She only likes you as a friend

Ahhh… the dreaded friend-zone. It could be a big reason she didn’t text back. No one wants to be there, yet most of us have been at some point in our lives.

But listen, being friends is also pretty awesome. It doesn’t mean you’re unattractive, it just means she doesn’t think you’re a good match for her. [Read: 18 clear signs you’re in a girl’s friend zone]

30. She’s just rude

In our opinion, you should treat other people the way you’d like to be treated. And no one wants to be ignored, right?

So, she might just be a rude person who doesn’t care about hurting your feelings or making you feel insignificant. In this case, good riddance to her! You wouldn’t want her anyway.

31. She’s ignoring you on purpose

Again, not real nice, but maybe she’s trying to give you a hint. Girls don’t like being direct, so if she’s purposely not texting you, she could really be saying “slow down,” or “stop being needy,” or “please don’t text me again.” Girls are the queens of indirect messages.

32. She thinks you’re boring

Do you only talk to her about sports? Or tell the same stories over and over and over? Girls need to find you interesting. So, if you don’t provide her any mental stimulation, she might be ditching you on purpose.

So, what should you do when a girl doesn’t text back?

Now you know the possible reasons why a girl might not text you back, what should you do about it? 

1. Wait, just wait

We know you’re anxious and you want to text her again, but don’t. We’re serious, do not do it. You can make your worst decisions when you’re feeling stressed and panicking.

Give her time to respond. If you text her too often, you immediately look desperate. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]

2. Be cool

We know you’re not going to let this girl go without sending her another text. So, let’s not pretend like it’s not going to happen.

Of course, ideally, we wouldn’t text her back but we’re being real here. You’re going to text her again. You waited, which is good, so, give her a follow-up text. [Read: Double texting – What it is, avoid to avoid it and 15 must-follow rules]

3. Don’t follow up with a question

In your follow-up text, don’t ask her any questions about why she didn’t reply the first time. You’re not her father.

If you ask her, she’s going to get defensive and for sure you won’t get any further with her. In her head, asking her why she didn’t text you back is a red flag.

4. You can text her almost anything

In the follow up text, you have free range when it comes to what you’re going to text her. Of course, no questions.

But, you can wish her a goodnight or good morning text, start a completely new conversation, or send her something funny. When she doesn’t text back, the goal is to get her engaged in the conversation.

5. Timing matters

If you’re texting her in the middle of the morning on a Tuesday, that isn’t a great idea. People work, are in school: they’re just plain busy. She can easily forget your text message when you write her at the wrong time.

Aim for periods of time when people are usually at home, relaxing.

After five on weekdays or during the weekends are good times to text someone you’re trying to land a date with. [Read: What does it mean when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose]

6. Know when to pull back

She may finally respond to your texts but you see that she’s not overly engaged. If you’re sensing she’s not interested, pull back.

If she’s not asking you questions, flirting with you, or if her typical response is ‘yes’ and ‘no’ then you know it’s time to stop texting her. Just stop. That’s right. Just stop that very moment. [Read: How to not be dry when texting a girl – 20 ways to keep her hooked]

7. Move on

We know you may have liked her, but she doesn’t like you. At least not enough to text you back.

When she doesn’t text back, why are you wasting your time on her? Where’s your self-worth and self-esteem?

Come on, man! Stop texting her and move on. There are tons of women out there that can give you the love you deserve.

[Read: 22 ways to make a girl think about you over text and the way you behave around her]

Now you know the right way to go about it when a girl doesn’t text back and what you need to do. If you want to regain your confidence and not look desperate, keep these tips in mind.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...