When She Doesn’t Text Back: Why Girls Do That & What You Need to Do

when she doesn't text back

Every man will find that one girl who won’t text or call him back. Here’s what you need to do to get a response when she doesn’t text back.

What can I say? Love works in mysterious ways. You may be thinking you’re connecting with a woman you’re talking to, but you just never know. Sure, she gave you her number, but was it genuine interest or because she felt bad? You text her, and she doesn’t respond. Well, what’s a guy to do when she doesn’t text back? Let’s dive in head first!

As a woman, I can tell you one thing—you never really know. Women are strange creatures. But then again, don’t think guys are innocent. You’ve been known to simply stop texting and ghost us.

So, I think it’s fair to say both sexes suffer from the “no text back” situation. It’s happened to me plenty of times. It’s frustrating, annoying, and definitely confusing. But don’t spend too much time thinking about it. It’s not worth it. Here are a few reasons why she may not be texting back. [Read: Realistic reasons she is not texting you back]

What to do when she doesn’t text back – Understand the WHY

It’s a question no one really wants to ask but we all want the answer to. Of course, we all hope she lost her phone or her dog peed on it. Sorry to break it to you, it’s usually not the case.

#1 Things happen. There’s no other way to say this, things just happen. She may be a student or have a full-time job, she’s busy. Maybe she became sick or has children. The point is her mind has other things that she needs to deal with. Life can be overwhelming. [Read: 10 signs you should back off when pursuing a girl]

#2 She was being polite. Yeah, it would have been better if she had just said ‘no,’ I know. But she didn’t. Instead, she gave you her number because she didn’t want to be mean. Of course, she now looks even worse since she’s ghosting you, but now you know she’s not good in conflict situations. [Read: 12 telltale signs she’s just not that into you]

#3 She lost interest. Maybe you spoke on the phone after meeting each other. But since the last phone call or text, she hasn’t shown any desire in reaching out. If you’re not bringing thought-provoking conversation to the table, she’ll lose interest. We’re in the age of accessibility and instant gratification. If we’re not instantly amused and entertained, we’re onto the next guy. It’s sad but true.

#4 She’s hoping you’ll get the hint. Women generally avoid confrontation, instead, we ignore people. Listen, as you get older, women do mature, but for a majority of their twenties, they will still act like adolescent girls. By ignoring you, she’s hoping you’ll get the hint that she’s not interested. [Read: What to do when a girl ignores you and doesn’t give you another chance]

#5 You’re not the only guy. She may have given you her number, but that doesn’t mean she’s completely single. Though she may be the only girl for you, she probably has other guys giving her attention as well.

#6 You’re being creepy. Yes, I know. No guy wants to hear this but it’s time you did. Are you being creepy? Are you sending her twenty text messages a day? Are you calling her if she doesn’t text you back right away? Are you liking everything on her social media? That’s what I like to call a beautiful blend of desperation and creepiness. Back way off, you’re scaring her. [Read: The 10 types of creepy guys girls avoid talking to]

But, don’t let these reasons hold you back. It’s time you learned what you need to do when she’s behaving like this.

When she doesn’t text back – What you need to do

It’s time to regain your confidence.

#1 Wait, just wait. I know you’re anxious and you want to text her again, but don’t. I’m serious, do not do it. You can make your worst decisions when you’re feeling stressed and panicking. Give her time to respond. If you text her too often, you immediately look desperate. [Read: How to handle rejection without making a fool of yourself]

#2 Be cool. Okay, I know you’re not going to let this girl go without sending her another text. So, let’s not pretend like it’s not going to happen. Of course, ideally, I wouldn’t text her back but I’m being real here. You’re going to text her again. You waited, which is good, so, give her a follow-up text. [Read: Double texting and second texts – How to play it cool]

#3 Don’t follow up with a question. In your follow up text, don’t ask her any questions about why she didn’t reply the first time. You’re not her father. If you ask her, she’s going to get defensive and for sure you won’t get any further with her. In her head, asking her why she didn’t text you back is a red flag.

#4 You can text her almost anything. In the follow up text, you have free range when it comes to what you’re going to text her. Of course, no questions. But, you can wish her a goodnight or good morning text, start a completely new conversation, or send her something funny. When she doesn’t text back, the goal is to get her engaged in the conversation.

#5 Timing matters. If you’re texting her in the middle of the morning on a Tuesday, that isn’t a great idea. People work, are in school: they’re just plain busy. She can easily forget your text message when you write her at the wrong time. Aim for periods of time when people are usually at home, relaxing. After five on weekdays or during the weekends are good times to text someone you’re trying to land a date with. [Read: What does it mean when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose]

#6 Know when to pull back. She may finally respond to your texts but you see that she’s not overly engaged. If you’re sensing she’s not interested, pull back. If she’s not asking you questions, flirting with you, or if her typical response is ‘yes’ and ‘no’ then you know it’s time to stop texting her. Just stop. That’s right. Just stop that very moment. [Read: The clearest signs you need to back off completely when pursuing a girl]

#7 Move on. I know you may have liked her, but she doesn’t like you. At least not enough to text you back. When she doesn’t text back, why are you wasting your time on her? Where’s your self-worth and self-esteem? Come on, man! Stop texting her and move on. There are tons of women out there that can give you the love you deserve.

[Read: 10 ways girls casually reject guys they don’t like]

Now you know the right way to go about it when she’s not texting you back and what you need to do. If you want to regain your confidence and not look desperate, keep these tips in mind.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic
A serial dater, Natasha Ivanovic knows a thing or two about men and the dating scene. Much of her writing is inspired by her encounters with men - and for good ...
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