How to Start a Conversation with a Girl & Make Her Really Like You

Learning how to start a conversation with a girl and keep her interested is an art. But we can show you how to impress her, and leave her wanting more too!

how to start a conversation with a girl

When it comes to knowing how to start a conversation with a girl, there are so many things that come into play. After all, women do make an opinion about you within the first few seconds after first seeing you.

Want to know how to make the best perfect first impression, and impress any woman you talk to, almost effortlessly? It doesn’t take a silver tongue to smooth talk women, it takes a bit of basic knowledge about women, their desires, wants and what it really takes to impress them.

If you can get these right, you’ll never ever go wrong again. Think of it like walking, riding a bicycle or driving a car, once you learn it, there’s just no going back. You’re always going to be awesome at it, even if you’re not trying!

Sit back, and read on, because you’ll know everything it takes to know how to start a conversation with a girl and impress her by the time you’re done reading this feature. And you WILL be surprised by how effortlessly smooth you’ll become, even before you finish reading all the way!

Starting a conversation with a girl – The scenarios of real life

There are pretty much just a few different scenarios when it comes to starting a conversation with a girl.

As guys, starting a conversation with a girl is serious business. It’s stressful, sweat-inducing, and something we’d rather not do. We know we have no choice but to approach them, and yet, we absolutely hate that heart-thumping moment when we have to walk up to them!

There’s the fear of rejection, the fear of impending humiliation, and the red-faced insult we have to bear forever if a girl doesn’t reciprocate. 

But what if there were ways to always catch a girl’s eye? What if you could impress any girl you talk to, without ever being rejected again? We’ll get to it in a bit. But first, let’s talk about the different real life scenarios when you would need to know how to start a conversation with a girl.

1. You approach her

2. You’re introduced to her

3. You see each other often

4. You approach her online

That’s pretty much all of it! For all the stress we experience, there are literally just four ways to start a conversation with girls. Of course, there’s also the odds where a girl approaches you to start a conversation with you! But then, you wouldn’t need to do a thing other than just look cool, would you?!

For all the stress we experience everyday, when it comes to starting a conversation with women, there are just these simple ways. Think about it, if you can master each of these ways, you’re golden!

And of course, there are a few add-on aspects you need to learn, to impress a girl even before you say the first word, and we’ll talk about that as well.

If you’re not looking for the basics, and want to jump straight in to the specific scenarios, you can do that here:

Looking to approach a girl you don’t know and talk to her, here’s everything you need to know on how to approach a girl you don’t know and impress her.

If you want to impress a girl you’ve been introduced to, here’s how to get a girl to like you with these 20 things girls expect from a great guy.

If you see this girl often, and want to get her interested in you, here’s what you need to do: How to get a girl’s attention and impress her before saying a word!

And finally, if you want to know how to talk to a girl online and get her to talk back, here’s how to get a girl to like you online so she’d want to meet you in person.

But if you’re looking for the real basics to impress a girl in any scenario, no matter where you are, and want to know how to start a conversation with her in the best way possible, read on.

How to start a conversation with a girl

Many men have tried and tried really hard. And most of those men have failed miserably. Starting a conversation with a girl is not really as hard as most guys claim it to be.

It’s simple and can be a lot of fun if you really understand the most basic ground rule. Women are not monsters. And men don’t really need to fear approaching them. Girls like guys just as much as guys like girls.

Girls want to meet and date great guys, just as badly as you want to meet great girls and date them.

Let that sink in. If you’re having a hard time meeting great girls, it’s only because you’re not approaching them the right way. Or worse, there’s something terribly wrong with your behavior that sets alarm bells ringing in a girl’s mind.

How do girls like to be approached?

Do you ever wonder how to start a conversation with a girl? What do you think about? A cool pick up line, or maybe a very confident walk up followed by some smooth talking? Well, it could work. But in most cases, those moves fail. And they fail miserably.

Here’s the simple truth you can’t ignore. Hot girls are tired of being “picked up” all the time. If you’re talking about a gorgeous girl who’d have guys trailing her all the time, she’d probably roll her eyes at pickup lines and smooth talkers. Smooth talking is good, but it’s never a good way to start a conversation, especially if you want to come off as a player who thinks he’s cocky.

She’s heard it all before, and she’s tired of being “picked up”. She’s tired of being approached everywhere because that’s just one more guy who thinks she’s sexy and wants to sleep with her. All she wants is a genuine guy who can see her for who she is as a person, not a girl everyone wants to undress and bang!

[Read: 18 things that turn all girls on and makes you a real catch in her eyes]

How would you start a conversation with a guy?

This is easy. With a simple “hello” or a “hi”, right? And then, you’d get to the point or start some small talk because you’re standing next to him, and can’t think of anything else to say.

Now why do you think it’s okay to start a conversation with a girl like you want to take her to bed with “hello”? Can’t you start the conversation with something casual instead? Can’t you approach her as you would approach a guy, with small talk and casualness? Do you really need to make her feel like you’re starting foreplay with the first conversation?

Remember this when you start a conversation with a girl. Don’t try to pick up a girl, try to start a conversation with a girl instead. And she’ll appreciate it. 

Don’t scare her: Picking the right time to approach her

If you’re approaching a girl you don’t know, here’s something you should know – Don’t surprise or shock her by approaching her from out of her line of sight, or all of a sudden!

Many men make the mistake of puffing their chest up, walking straight up to a girl, and saying something to her. Or they skulk in a dark corner, and slide right next to her out of nowhere, because someone told them “sliding in” is so cool!

In such cases, the girl may be so startled she’d instinctively turn you down or quickly walk away without even taking a second to think about you as a person.

You wouldn’t want that, would you? 

Let her know you exist. Look at her now and then, warm her up to the act, and let her know that you intend to walk up and say hello to her, eventually. [Read: How to make eye contact with a girl and get her interested in you]

By doing this, if she reciprocates your stares, she’s anticipating your approach and wondering when you’re going to walk up and say hello! This would actually build up the excitement and make her wait for you instead. This can actually work a lot better because you’re getting her interested in you before starting a conversation.

And because of that, this is one of the best ways to start a conversation with a girl. [Read: How to tell if a girl is checking you out and wants you to approach her]

What girls look for before you walk up to them

You liked the girl even before you approached her to talk to her. So there were specific things about her that caught your eye. Why would girls be any different? Big chances are, she would have seen you way before you even walked up to her. And she’s decided on whether she’s interested in talking to you even before you start walking up to her.

First impressions matter. She WILL notice the way you look, the way you behave around others, and judge you based on your outfit and your manners. So pay attention to this, and make sure you’re doing everything right to catch her eye first!

Check out these 15 desirable traits that make a guy sexy in any girl’s eyes so you know what she’s looking for in a guy when she sees you from afar.

What girls look for in the first few seconds as you talk to them

When a girl sees you from across the room, she notices a few things about you. BUT the minute you walk up to her, there’s a whole new set of traits and characters she’d notice about you instantly.

So if you’re wondering why a girl seemed to be making a lot of eye contact with you, but turned you down as soon as you started talking to her, chances are, you didn’t make a great impression after saying hello. If she does continue talking though, that’s a great sign because you may be doing something right!

Once you start a conversation with a girl, here are a few things she’d immediately notice about you within the first few seconds:

1. Your posture *are you confident, or trying too hard, or just meek?*

2. Your behavior *are you nice or annoying?*

3. Your personality and confidence *not cockiness*

4. Your sense of humor *everyone loves a funny guy, and panties drop to the floor with a joke!*

5. Your cleanliness *are you shabby, or clean and smell great?*

Want to know the other important traits that can help you make that perfect first impression? Read the rest of the 20 traits girls find very attractive in a guy in the first conversation, and make sure you work on developing all of these traits if you want to be the most attractive guy around!

What to say to a girl when you start talking to her

If you’ve come this far into a conversation with the girl, that’s awesome, you’ve passed the big tests already. You’ve impressed her, and there’s a good chance she’s interested in talking to you too!

Now comes the most important part of it all – actually talking to her, and impressing her enough to start falling for you in the very first conversation. For starters, make sure you’re smiling, and making her laugh. If you can do this, you can be assured that she’s having fun talking to you. 

This is such an important part of impressing a girl, that we really didn’t have a choice but to create a whole feature dedicated to the art of impressing a girl with your words. If you want to make sure she likes you by the time you end the first conversation, read this guide on how to talk to a girl or a group of girls at once, and impress every single one of them within 10 minutes! If you can remember the most important tips here, we can assure you, you’ll never ever have to worry about impressing girls ever again!

When can you pick up girls?

The idea behind starting a conversation with a girl and picking up girls seem very similar. But in reality, it isn’t. Picking up girls is the art of initiating a conversation with a girl, usually with the intention of sleeping with her. [Read: How to pick up girls – 20 super moves to get super lucky with women]

So, as effective as pickup lines are, they usually work in places where the vibe is set for hookups and chance meetings between different people. If you want to pick up girls, try doing that at a club or while you’re out at a party. Girls don’t expect you to initiate a pleasant small-talk conversation with them in places like these. Instead, they expect something witty and funny, and they would judge you just as quickly as you judge them.

If you’re still new to the world of starting a conversation with girls you haven’t met, you should put this on hold for now, and avoid “picking up” girls. [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use!]

Grow your confidence, and feel great about yourself first. After all, places where you pick up girls are all about snap decisions and inflated egos. If you’re not mentally prepared for it, you may just end up losing your fledgling confidence. Wait until you’re ready, and feel super-confident about yourself and your pickup lines. And then, give it a shot! [Read: 70 hilarious cheesy pick up lines that’ll leave every girl laughing]

25 tips to start a conversation with a girl and keep it flowing effortlessly

Well, you now know how to approach a girl, start a conversation with her, and keep the conversation going too. If you’re looking for a few more tips, here are a some things that can help you perfect yourself and your approach to impress a girl.

How do you prepare yourself for starting a conversation with a girl you like? What are good opening lines? How should you come across? How can you build your confidence without seeming arrogant? And how, once started, do you keeping the conversation flowing?

These are all questions that naturally fly through every guy’s head as he mentally prepares himself to approach that girl. Luckily, we have the answers for you. Keep these things in mind the next time you walk up to any girl and start talking to her.

1. Smile

As you approach the girl you like, make sure you smile. If you feel really nervous, smiling helps calm you down. Plus, you just look weird if you approach her all serious or goggly-eyed and sweaty! A big smile makes you look friendly and approachable, so go with that! [Read: How to approach women – 15 tips that’ll make you way smoother]

2. Practice your opening line

However you decide to greet a girl, practice it out loud in front of the mirror a few times to make sure you have it down. If she doesn’t know you, simply introduce yourself. If you already know each other, just ask her how her day is going.

3. Decide on your opening move

How you physically greet her is also important. Are you going for a handshake *bit formal*, a hug *strange if you don’t know her*, or a kiss on the cheeks *very French*!?

Don’t do something you are not comfortable with, and definitely don’t do something that will make her feel uncomfortable. Sometimes a friendly ‘hi’ and a grin is all you need.

4. Have some topics

Before you approach her, have some conversational topics in mind. Don’t just start a conversation empty-handed. If you already have several things you can talk to her about in your head, the conversation is more likely to flow. [Read: Drawing a blank? Try these 25 good conversation starters]

5. Be casual

Try to stay as relaxed as you can *we know this is easier said than done!*. You don’t want to come across as needy, intense, or desperate. Keeping it casual suggests to her that you are laid back and comfortable in your own skin.

6. Keep it light

Try to stick to topics that are light and friendly. If you ask her something too intense or personal in the first conversation, you are more likely to scare her off.

7. Mention a common friend

If you have friends in common, that’s great! Use that as a conversation starter, “Hey, I think you know Mark—he’s a funny guy, right?”. You’ll probably find out you have lots of other friends in common too. [Read: What to say to a girl you like while talking to her]

8. Talk about shared experiences

Are you at the same school, do you take the same bus, did you volunteer on a project together? If you know you’ve got something in common, talk about it. It’s safe, neutral ground, and it will be easy to keep the conversation going.

9. Avoid cheesy pick up lines

When it comes to knowing how to start a conversation with a girl, it’s very rare that a girl finds a cheesy pick up line charming. So avoid them at all costs and stick to being natural and normal. Pickup “experts” may tell you pick up lines work, but it usually makes a girl wary instead of reciprocative. 

10. Ask her how she is doing

Simply asking her how she is doing shows that you are interested and care. Sometimes, it really can be as simple as that. [Read: How to impress a girl – 15 atypical secrets you HAVE to know]

11. Ask a question about a class or work

If you go to school or college together, this is a great starting point. You could ask her about some work you’ve been assigned, “How are you getting on with your English paper?”. Or, talk about an eccentric teacher or funny incident that happened at school.

Topics that are generally safe and keep the conversation light and easy are the best for that initial conversation with a girl.

Television shows, recent movies, books you’ve read, plays you’ve seen, sports, and music are all great topics. Find out about her likes and dislikes and see if you really are as compatible as you thought! [Read: The best topics to talk about with a girl to keep her interested]

13. Ask lots of questions

Asking lots of questions keeps the conversation flowing nicely. They also show you are interested in her. Just give her time to answer and the opportunity to ask you questions back. This tells you if she’s interested in you too.

If you’re the only one asking all the questions, and she doesn’t seem interested in asking you any, chances are, she doesn’t want to talk to you. [Read: 35 really important questions to ask a girl you just met]

14. Dare to be different

It’s okay to try and be a little unusual too. Asking her funny, interesting questions such as, “If you could only take three things with you on a desert island what would they be?”, or, “If you won the lottery what would you do with the money?” are fun conversation starters that help you get to know one another better.

15. Compliment her

Of course, it’s important to remember you like the girl and so you don’t want to be friend zoned. Make sure you compliment her to let her know you are being flirtatious. [Read: 19 sweet compliments for girls that’ll make them go awww…]

16. Be aware of your body language

You body language is also important. Stay open and relaxed, and try not to fold your arms, shrug, or frown!

17. Be confident

Girls love a confident man. So, when you decide to start a conversation with a girl or approach her, make sure you are in a confident frame of mind. What have you got to lose, after all?

18. Make eye contact

Make lots of eye contact with her to show you are interested. Know the difference between flirty eye contact and weird staring! [Read: 10 subtle and flirty eye contact moves that always work]

19. Listen!

When you are nervous, you often have lots of great questions and are so afraid of the conversation dying out that you forget to listen to the answers! Make sure you give her time to respond and listen to what she says, then ask her more about that.

20. Tell a joke

Humor is a great way to impress a girl. So, if you are a funny guy, make sure you use it! [Read: How to be funny and make girls love your company]

Things to avoid when starting a conversation with a girl

While there are lots of things you should do in a conversation with a girl, there are also some that you should try to avoid. For starters,

21. Don’t get too nervous

Nervousness might be endearing to some girls. However, if you are too nervous, the conversation might dry up, or you might seem a bit weird. Hold your head up high, speak with clarity and relax—you’ve got this! [Read: Do girls like shy guys who don’t make a bold move?]

22. Don’t be arrogant

Arrogance is particularly unattractive, so remember to keep yourself in check if you want to keep her interested.

23. Don’t try too hard

Just be yourself. There is no point in doing anything other than that!

24. Don’t ask yes or no questions

Too many yes or no questions and she feels like she is on a gameshow! [Read: 15 things men need to know to successfully hit on girls]

25. Know when to end it!

Don’t wait until you’ve exhausted every topic. End your conversation on a high. Tell her it was nice talking to her and you hope to see her again. If you are feeling brave, ask for her social media details, get her number or ask her on a date!

[Read: How to ask a girl to hang out casually without feeling awkward about it]

How to tell if she isn’t interested in you

Sometimes, there’s every possibility that the girl whose eye you’re trying catch may not be interested in you, for her own reasons. Maybe she’s not in the mood to talk. Or she has a boyfriend. Maybe she just isn’t interested in you because she’s looking at some other guy!

Whatever her reasons, remember that mutual interest and consent is everything here. If you’re trying to make eye contact with a girl and she doesn’t reciprocate, or if you start a conversation with her, and she doesn’t seem enthusiastic, excuse yourself courteously and walk away.

Sometimes, you could be the best guy in the whole world. But just in the wrong place at the wrong time!

As confident and awesome as you may be, it’s not a bad idea to remember these 15 blunt signs she has zero interest in talking to you and wants you to leave her alone.

Pay attention to her behavior and reciprocation. And if she doesn’t want you around, do yourself a favor and step back. You will never gain any points by sticking around longer than you’re wanted. And you’ll end up being the creep you would never want to be.

Always remember this!

The world is full of opportunities to meet wonderful girls, and start a beautiful relationship with them. It is said that opportunity knocks only once, but if you want to, you can find endless ways to create perfect opportunities for yourself multiple times, every single day.

The most important fact that you should understand is this. You would be most successful in meeting girls if you behave like “you”. Don’t try to pretend to be someone else. The girl would definitely know you’re faking it, either in the very first minute or by the fifth, which doesn’t help you in any way.

A girl is attracted to your personality more than anything else. *a theory made by ugly men, which does seem very true by the way*

If you seem confident and charming and start a conversation with a girl in a pleasant and charming manner, she would be pleased to have met someone who has the courtesy to appreciate her company.

[Read: 50 cute and sexy unintentional things guys do that girls absolutely love]

So, what are you waiting for? You now know everything about how to start a conversation with a girl. So go on and talk your way into that cute girl’s heart!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
A proponent of chivalry and romance, Vin Serai sees himself as a gregarious gentleman with an active imagination, who still manages to spend more time living in...