How to Make the First Move on a Girl: 20 Must-Know Tips from a Girl

If you are wondering how to make the first move on a girl, you came to the right place. Because girls know what girls want.

how to make the first move on a girl

When it comes to knowing how to make the first move on a girl, you need to understand that it is not as complicated as you might think. In fact, it is pretty simple. Maintain respect and go for it.

But if you are looking for some more specifics like should you wait until the end of a date or go for it at dinner? Or should you go in for a kiss or a full makeout session? Then continue reading for advice from a girl who has made the first move and has had guys make the first move both successfully and not so much. [Read: 15 best ways to ask a girl out and get her to say yes]

Should you make the first move on a girl?

Before getting into figuring out how to make the first move on a girl you might be asking yourself, should you even be? And the answer is yes. Why not?

Whether you are scared of rejection or scared you are coming on too strong, there are ways to take that risk without so much risk. If you are interested in a girl and feel a connection, go for it.

Some girls like making the first move, but many of us still love that old-fashioned guy who makes it clear what he wants. So, if she hasn’t made the first move, she may very well be waiting for you to. [Read: Do girls like a shy guy without bold moves?]

How to make the first move on a girl

Going into to your big first move is nerve-racking. It would be weird if it wasn’t. So take a deep breath and go for it. The worst thing that could happen is she turns you down and you move on. No biggie.

Whether your first move is asking for a girl’s number, kissing her, or asking her out on an old school date, you can do it. Here’s how:

#1 Read the signs. If she isn’t looking you in the eye and tries to change the subject, she isn’t interested. But if she strokes your arm, laughs at your jokes, and makes eye contact, go for it. [Read: 15 body language cues a girl gives away if she likes you]

#2 Stop overthinking. You do not need to write out a script in your mind. Go with the vibe of the conversation. Do what feels right in the moment. 

#3 Take it slow. Yes, women like a guy who can be bold, but don’t just do what you want. As I said, read the room. If you had a nice date and feel the chemistry you can go in for a goodnight kiss. But don’t take it beyond that. [Read: How to be the charming guy who slowly seduces his girl]

#4 Don’t fight the awkwardness. Lean into it. If you are awkward or shy, let that be your thing. Don’t fight it or you could come off even more nervous.

Awkward does not have to be a bad thing. In fact, it can be quite endearing. So go in to hold her hand. If you miss, laugh about it and try again. Awkwardness is actually a great starting point.

#5 Give her your number. A lot of guys ask girls for their numbers. And although that is fine, it can take more than a few moments for a girl to really know if she is actually interested.

Instead of asking her, offer her your number. That way the ball is in her court. She can decide if she wants to reach out or not. Yes, this can make it a bit more of a waiting game for you, but it lets her accept or decline your offer on her timetable. You are still making the first move, but giving her the second. [Read: How to get a girl’s number every single time – The no fail moves you need to know]

#6 Appreciate her. The mistake many guys make when it comes to making the first move is expecting a certain response. A lot of men think a woman should automatically be flattered by the interest, but that is not how it works.

She could be in a bad mood or having an off day. Maybe she is in a relationship or not interested in men at all. Don’t assume your compliment is always something she wants. Show her you appreciate what she has to say. Ask her opinion on your outfit or what he favorite food order is.

#7 Be okay with a no. One of the first things you need to do when it comes to knowing how to make the first move on a girl is to be realistic. Don’t go into the first move with a negative outlook, but rather a realistic one. There is a very real chance she could reject you. But go in with confidence.

The thing about confidence is that it comes from within. So even if she isn’t interested, you will keep your cool, be respectful, and be happy you tried. [Read: We’re so glad you want to know how to respect a woman]

#8 Be funny. Humor is something that puts just about everyone at ease. If you can make her genuinely laugh and the conversation is flowing, making the first move shouldn’t come out of the blue.

If you are laughing about The Bachelor, for example, challenge her to a bet on who gets sent home next week. Make it your way in. [Read: 43 conversation starters that work perfectly with girls]

#9 Talk about it first. If you can’t think of an original way to ask her out or go in for a kiss, just be straightforward and talk about it. Let her know you want to make the first move, but aren’t sure what she would be comfortable with.

Being respectful and open about this is a great way to start things off physically and romantically.

#10 Compliment her mind. Yes, we all love hearing we are beautiful, but that doesn’t show a true interest. Compliment her determination at work or her loyalty to her friends or even her devotion to school.

#11 Don’t put down other girls. “You’re not like other girls,” is a phrase so many guys go to as a compliment, but it is really just a way of saying, “I don’t like most girls, but you are different.” Saying this is a turn off to most girls.

So instead just compliment her. Don’t bring other girls into it.

#12 Get consent. It is 2018, you know better than that. And if you aren’t sure what you have the green light for, simply ask. It is not that hard.

#13 Let it be natural. Just go with what you’re feeling in the moment. Don’t try to force a cheesy line or say something you think she wants to hear. If you chat about her favorite restaurant mention you’d love to take her there sometime.

And if you are talking at the end of a date and feel like a kiss is appropriate, but aren’t sure how she would feel say you’ve been thinking about kissing her all night and want to know how she feels. [Read: How to kiss a girl for the first time and not screw up]

#14 Be honest. Trying to find the perfect way to make the first move is impossible. There is no one way to always get it right and have her return your interest. So just put it all out there and be honest.

Let her know you’re interested in going out. Let her know you have had a great time getting to know her but want to take things to the next level romantically.

#15 Ask her to teach you something. Mansplaining is a real issue. And men seem to think that they know so much and have to explain it to women in a patronizing way.

Instead, let her teach you something. If she says she is amazing at baking, ask her if she would be willing to give you a beginner’s lesson because you’re new to baking. Or even let her know you’re trying to become more aware of what’s going on with the feminist movement, but don’t know where to begin. [Read: Are you a mansplaining jerk?]

#16 Make a small gesture. I know this is generic, but buy her a drink or bring her flowers. It may not be groundbreaking, but it is a classic that has worked for guys for ages.

Offer to buy her a drink at the bar. If she is a friend or coworker, bring her a bouquet of flowers or even a single red rose and ask her out. The gesture is very sweet.

#17 Do it via text. We all get nervous, but thankfully texting was invented for these exact moments. Of course, you do have to have her number already, but if you are friends or you even have her email, go for it.

Let her know you’re interested, but weren’t sure how to let her know. So you are just putting it out there so you won’t regret not making a move. [Read: 15 texting rules guys need to follow to impress a girl over text]

#18 Ask about her family. This may sound weird but stick with me for a minute. When you are interested in someone, you talk about your job, what TV shows you watch, and maybe your pets. But asking about someone’s childhood or relationship with their family is intimate.

Getting to know each other on that deeper level takes you a step closer to the next move.

#19 Talk to her friend. You may not always have access to her friends. If you do, ask for some advice. Some girls like a super bold guy and just goes for it. Others prefer a guy to move slower.

If you share a friend group, work together, or even know her friends, ask someone if she would be interested in you and what you can do to make the first move. Getting that inside scoop gives you a leg up. There are plenty of ways to make the first move on a girl, but with specifics from those that know her you are more likely to come off well. [Read: 15 subtle clues to tell you your crush likes you back]

#20 Let her make the first move. I know you found this feature so you could find out how to make the first move on a girl, but sometimes the best thing to do is wait for her to make the first move.

[Read: The obvious signs she’s got a crush on you and is waiting for you to make a move]

Learning how to make the first move on a girl is a process. Every girl appreciates respect and kindness, but every girl wants something different when it comes to romance.

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Samantha Ann
My name is Samantha Ann. I am 28 years old. It was always my dream to become an advice columnist, so after years of off and online dating and eventually finding...