How to Get a Girlfriend: A Guide to Find & Win Over the Perfect Girl

Want to know how to get a girlfriend? Learn these simple steps, and you’ll be able to approach her, date her, and go from single to dating in no time.

How to Get a Girlfriend

If you’re wondering how to get a girlfriend, chances are, this is probably the first time you’re looking for the perfect girl. You’ve either been single so far, or you’ve dated someone who was totally wrong for you, and you want to do it right this time around.

When it comes to learning how to get a girlfriend, there’s more to it than just plucking up the courage to walk up to a girl and talk to her.

By the time you’re done with this feature, you’ll know every single tip you need to find the right girl for you, impress her, woo her and make her fall madly in love with you. All even before you tell her you like her!

So, let’s start with the basics.

How to get the girl of your dreams

There’s so much to learn when it comes to knowing how get a girlfriend. As a guy, you want to know where to find love. This means knowing how to approach a woman, how to impress her, and how to make sure you two connect on a deeper level of intimacy. But then again, you also want her to be great in bed. And be your soulmate. And be your best friend…

Now, that’s a long list. But whether you realize it or not, all of us are walking around with the same list too! [Read: What girls find attractive in a guy – The traits that make a guy irresistible]

Why don’t you have a girlfriend right now?

Even if you’re ready to get a girlfriend and you have tons of female friends, somehow, you still haven’t found her. Why is that? In all probability, it’s because of two simple reasons.

a. You haven’t found the right girl

You’ve been looking around, and you’ve made friends with a lot of girls. You all get along pretty well but still, no one seems right *or good enough* for you.

If this is the biggest issue stopping you from getting a girlfriend, all you need to do is start hanging out in new places, making new friends, and trying to make new connections online; especially with so many amazing dating apps on the market!

b. You’re afraid of rejection

This is the harder one of the two. You find great girls who catch your eye all the time. But somehow, you just can’t work up the courage to approach them or talk to them. Or maybe it’s a friend, and you’re worried you’d ruin the friendship by asking her out.

If this is the issue you’re experiencing, we’ll fix that along the way as well! [Read: How to overcome the fear of rejection and ask a girl out]

Stop trying too hard to meet women and start living instead

Before we go any further, this is the key mantra you need to remember. You chase something, it runs away from you. You sit calmly, and that same thing comes back curiously and wants your attention again.

So if you want a girlfriend, stop focusing so much on how to find her or get her. Instead, still keep an eye open for the right girl, but look for ways to have a great time, become a better guy, and live your best life too. When you’re happy with your life, everyone else can sense it, and everyone will want to be part of it.

Girls don’t need to know that you’re available and pursuing them. When you do that, they can sense your desperation and lack of confidence.

If you show everyone that you’re an amazing guy, you’ll be more desired and wanted than you can ever imagine. Women want men who are confident and not needy, so the key here is not to obsess over when and where are you going to meet a potential girlfriend.

What kind of girlfriend are you looking for?

Ask any guy this question, and it’s always the same answer: she’s got to be hot!

OK, fair enough, you are being honest. But if you think about it just a second longer, you’ll realize that there’s more to a girl than that. If you only wanted a great body, you could just buy a really hot lifelike sex doll, couldn’t you?

A couple of thousand dollars, and an almost-lifelike vision of your dream babe could be in bed with you!

But that’s not good enough for you, is it? Why not?

Probably because you’re looking for a girl who can communicate with you, connect with you emotionally, laugh with your friends, hang out with you, and more.

The point is, as much as a typical guy thinks getting a girlfriend is only about getting himself the hottest pair of boobs and butt on two feet that he can find, there’s more to it than that. A girlfriend is a whole person, not a sex doll. [Read: 15 types of girlfriends who will make your life a living hell]

What makes a girl a great girlfriend?

So now that you’ve hopefully understood that love and a relationship is more than just someone hot to have sex with, what do you want from a relationship?

You don’t need to write down a list of things you’re looking for. But you need to have a fair idea about what kind of girl attracts you. Are there any particular traits or characteristics you’d like your girlfriend to have? [Read: 27 traits of a good girlfriend you should look for in a girl you like]

Most guys don’t give this any real thought. After all, all they want is someone sexy to date. But within a few weeks of being around this girl, they’ll start to get confused. They so desperately wanted this girl, but they can’t really connect with her or find her relatable.

At the end of the day, you need to keep in mind that desiring to have sex with a girl because you’re sexually infatuated by her is very different from falling in love with a wonderful girl who’s perfect for you.

Don’t get confused between these two, as much as love and lust can feel the same at the beginning. [Read: How to get a really hot girl to have sex with you by arousing her subtly]

Be worthy of attracting the kind of girl you want

Now that you know how to look for the right kind of girlfriend, let’s get to the point where you attract the kind of girlfriend you want. When all’s said and done, you still want a great-looking girl with an amazing personality! Good for you, because you’re a king who deserves his queen.

Remember this line like your life depends on it. Because it does.

You attract what you are

This is pretty much everything you need to know here.

If you want to attract a girl who’s amazing, you need to be just as amazing to catch her eye and make her want to date you. You can’t be a nobody or one of those creepy guys, and expect the hottest chick in the room to desire you. [Read: Why am I not getting a girlfriend? 32 mistakes you’re probably making and ruining your chances]

Here’s a test. When you walk into a room full of fun men and sexy women, how do you feel? Do you feel like a great guy? Do you think you’re equal to or better than everyone else around you? Don’t lie to yourself, be honest. It’s not just about your looks, it’s about your personality, the way you behave and everything else that makes you, you.

If you think you need to step up your game, read this feature on the 25 sexual and personality traits of a great guy that turn girls on. It has all the little details that can make you desirable in any girl’s eyes in no time.

Let’s be honest here, if you aren’t good enough, why should she date you instead of picking a guy who’s better? You want the hottest girl, so it’s only fair that she’d want the hottest guy as well. So be the best you can be, and you WILL attract the best girls!

What are the traits girls look for in a guy?

It’s one thing to want to know how to get a girlfriend, but it’s a completely different story when you actually have to self-reflect and become a desirable guy. Get on a few dating apps and try your luck to see where you stand right now.

But in the meantime, try to focus on the things that catch a girl’s eye in the first place. For starters, focus on these 15 things women look for in a guy before they fall for him. It’ll give you the start you need to become a much better guy who can actually attract girls – even before he talks to them.

Is she out of your league? That’s NEVER the case!

So you like a great girl, and want to make her your girlfriend. But is she too good for you?

Don’t ever let anyone convince you that some girl is too good for you, or that she’s way out of your league. You’re hot stuff, dude!

And if anyone tells you otherwise, it’s probably because of their own insecurities. You can get any girl you want. BUT it goes back to the same rule we mentioned earlier. You attract what you are.

If you genuinely know that you possess all the aforementioned traits of a great guy, you just need to believe in yourself and pursue the girl you like.

Chances are, many other guys are just as intimidated to approach that hot girl. Never let anyone intimidate you. If you think you’re hot stuff, go on out there, and let the girl of your dreams know you’re interested in her *subtly, of course!*. [Read: How to get a girl that’s out of your league – 15 things you MUST remember]

If she warms up to you, you know you’re awesome! And if she doesn’t seem interested, that’s just another lesson learned, and it’s back to the drawing board to become the best version of you. Every time you make a move on a girl, you’re only becoming a better guy yourself – never forget that.

Rejection isn’t defeat. It’s just the first step in making yourself a more desirable guy. [Read: How to stay confident when you actually get a hot girlfriend]

Are you in her friend zone?

We need to talk about this, because so many guys don’t know when a girl puts them in her friend zone!

Let’s be honest: being a really great girl’s friend is never a bad thing. But when you like her and want her to be your girlfriend? It’s literally the worst feeling ever!

You pretend to be just friends to get close to her. She treats you like a really good friend. And then she dates other guys and hooks up with them in front of you.

If you like her, she might as well pull your heart out and stomp on it with her sexy heels, right? But guess what? She doesn’t know you want to date her. She has no clue – because you haven’t told her! So stop making her the villain here.

Don’t ever stay friends with a girl in the hope of eventually dating her or sleeping with her. You’re not being her friend, you’re taking advantage of her and being a sneaky little rat.

Either ask her out eventually, or forget about it. Being stuck in the middle only hurts you. If you want to slip out of her friend zone and let her know you’re seriously interested in her, use this guide on how to avoid a girl’s friend zone and make her desire you instead.

Don’t ever stay stuck in the friend zone when you desire a girl. You’ll feel weaker, your manhood will shrivel up, and your testosterone level will reduce over time.

You’re literally becoming less of a man by hanging around a girl you desire while pretending to be her friend! Worst of all, you’re lying to her, which is the least manly thing you could ever do.

Are you really ready to have a girlfriend?

Or do you want a hookup? It’s time to be honest here. Yes, you want to get a girlfriend. But do you want a relationship, or do you just want to have sex?

Why do you need to know this? Because relationships, as great as they are, are a lot of work. It’s no longer just you. It’s we.

Before you jump into the “we,” you need to make sure you’re able to commit to a relationship. Make sure you use these signs to know if you’re truly ready for a relationship and not just interested in sleeping with an attractive girl.

How to look for the right girl and where to find her

If you want to know how to get a girlfriend, you’ve got to be seen in places that draw a lot of girls. You can’t spend all day at home, and wonder why you aren’t finding the girl of your dreams.

You never know where you’re going to bump into a great girl. But for starters, even a place as random as a grocery store or a library can help you get a great girl.

Here’s a tip that may be contrary to what you think: don’t look for a girlfriend in a bar. She’s not there to look for a boyfriend, and unless you’re feeling really smooth and know how to approach girls and strike up a conversation with them, you’ll end up feeling worse about yourself IRL.

Use this list of the best places to meet women beyond a bar. It’s no effort to talk to girls at these places (the coffee shop, for instance), and the best part is it won’t feel like you’re hitting on them. So, they’ll be more open to making small talk with you and won’t get wary or close up.

Can you find a girlfriend through online dating?

Yes, yes, and oh yes! In the modern dating world, meeting girls online is ridiculously easy. You don’t even have to use any pickup lines or walk up to a group of girls and introduce yourself. There are many options to choose from and whoever you match with, you’ll know for sure that she’s looking for someone.

There’s no fear of face-to-face rejection either. It all comes down to how comfortable you are with yourself, and how confident you are when you talk to a girl! [Read: The 17 best dating apps for men to find the perfect girl in no time]

If you’re still having trouble meeting new people, it’s time to try finding a relationship online. Keep in mind though, that when it comes to knowing how to get a girlfriend online, you’re not the only guy trying.

As many girls as there are, there are just as many guys *maybe way more too!* So make sure your profile, your pictures, and your texting game stand out from the rest. [Read: How to get a girl to like you online so you can meet her in real life]

How to start talking to a girl and make her fall for you

When it comes to knowing how to get a girlfriend, this is the part that plays the most important role. You can be a really great desirable guy. You may even get a girl to go out on a date with you.

But if you don’t know how to talk to a girl and impress her with your conversation skills, all of your effort and hard work will amount to nothing.

If you want to know how to approach a woman you like, casually start talking to her without scaring her, and really impress her, head right for this guide on how to talk to a girl and sweet talk her in all the right ways. This is the part where you just can’t go wrong. We want you to know everything there is about making a girl really like you using just your words, so it definitely needs a whole feature to cover it.

Once you learn how to talk to a girl when she’s alone, or with a group of girls, you’ve got nothing more to fear. You know what it takes to be desired, and how to talk to women. So now, you need to let the girl know you’re interested in being more than friends with her.

How to let a girl know you like her

If you’re on a dating app, it’s pretty obvious you want to date her! Similarly, if you approach a girl in person and tell her you like her, she knows you want to date her.

But what do you say to a girl you know already? How do you ask her if she’s interested in dating you? This is the tricky dilemma many guys find themselves in – how to go from friend to boyfriend.

When it comes to letting a girl know you like her, subtlety is key. It’s everything! Never walk up to a girl and tell her you like her out of the blue. That’s a major turn-off. You’ll fail, regardless if you have the best looks or the funniest jokes.

Why? Because she has no clue you like her; she’s never thought of you “that way”. And a sudden revelation of your love for her? She’ll just say ‘no’ even before she gives it a thought. It’s a hot girl’s reflex action, especially if she’s asked out by guys all the time!

Instead, be subtle. Start by flirting with her as a friend using your body language. Tease her, always maintain eye contact, compliment her all the time, and make her think of you sexually. A boyfriend is a friend and someone she has sex with, all rolled into one.

If you’re already talking to her, you’re her friend. But if you can get her to reciprocate, so she’s flirting back and talking naughty with you? Boom, you’ve nailed it! You’re going to make her want to have that first date with you!

If you’re not sure how to subtly flirt with her, use this easy guide on how to flirt with a girl as a friend and make her desire you. It’s got all the advice you’ll need to make her see you as a potential boyfriend in no time!

How to be perfect boyfriend material and be desired by all girls

One of the best ways to get a girlfriend – or make a girl see you as the perfect boyfriend material – is to let her see that you’re not just an amazing friend, but a really great guy as well.

Most guys focus on being a good friend, and end up getting friend-zoned for good. Don’t be that guy. Always make sure there’s a bit of sexual tension with the girl friends in your life. You want them to think you’re a great friend, but you also want to make them imagine what it would be like to date an awesome guy like you.

Women want to feel desired, but also respected. You can do this by spending time together, making her laugh, teasing her playfully, and maintaining some physical contact – but only if she’s comfortable with it.

If you can get this perfect balance right, by flirting subtly whilst being a friend, you’ll be able to create sexual tension with any girl around you, and they’ll all desire you. Try this: How to slowly build sexual tension with a girl to the point where it’s out of control

How to ask a girl to be your girlfriend

And now, finally, here we are! If you’ve taken on everything we’ve told you so far and become the best version of yourself, you’ll have no trouble with this part. Congratulations! You’ll have several girls making it clear that they’d love to date you. And all you need to do is figure out who’d be perfect for you.

But here’s one more tip for you. Don’t just tell her you like her and want her to be your girlfriend. Not just yet. Always focus on actions. And don’t express your desire before you’re sure of her feelings for you. *You know this by now, don’t you, Romeo?*

Ask her to hang out, go on a first and second date together, build the chemistry up, and see how it feels. [Read: How to ask a girl to hang out over text]

Do you like her? Do you like spending time with her? Is she the girl who can make your life so much better just by being in it? If you’re feeling the love, and enjoy being with her, tell her about it. Tell her how she makes you feel. And if you’re feeling it, big chances are, she’s feeling the same too.

Once you’re at this stage, you’ve pretty much started dating already! But if you want to make it official, here are a few tips on how to ask a girl to be your girlfriend, and do it in a very special way.

And that’s about it! If you’ve ever wondered how to get a girlfriend, this is everything you need to know. Remember, you attract what you are; if you want a great girl, you’ve got to be a great guy. So go on out there, unleash your best self, and prepare to change your future forever!

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Vinod Srinivas Serai
Vin Serai
Vin Serai is the founder of, and has delved deep into the working of love and relationships for almost two decades. Having dipped his feet in almo...