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The No Contact Rule: A Powerful Gamble to Get Your Ex to Desire You

If you’ve been trying to figure out how to get your ex back, the no contact rule is your best bet. Though it sounds easy, it doesn’t mean it is.

no contact rule

You may have heard about the no contact rule before, but it’s usually not discussed in depth. This is what we’re going to do today. You need to know everything about the no contact rule, so you do it properly.

The truth about the no contact rule

When going through an unwanted breakup, most of us try to figure out ways to get our partner back. We send flowers, write emotional texts, and drop by their house begging for forgiveness. We literally do anything we can to win them back.

Even though that sounds like a good idea, it doesn’t always work. If anything, by being too much, we push them even further away. [Read: How to win your ex back in a healthy way]

So, this is where you change your tactic. The no contact rule is about cutting off communication with your ex to create space for you both to heal, reflect, and get back together as a couple.

When you’re constantly chasing your ex, you’re not giving them time to think. You’re just filling their head with even more emotions and opinions. But that won’t help you get them back.

They need time to chill, to take a step back and think about the relationship. This is why the no contact rule is so effective. It gives them the space they need to breathe. Here’s what you need to know. [Read: 12 reasons why the no-contact rule can help you get over an ex completely]

#1 No communication. This doesn’t mean you can’t text them, but you can call them. When I’m saying no communication, I mean you cannot, in any way, communicate with your ex. Don’t casually walk by their house, talk to mutual friends about them, or post a sappy social media status. You cannot try to talk to them directly or indirectly. [Read: How taking a break in a relationship works]

#2 Radio silence helps with healing. During a breakup, your emotions are all over the place. But with the no contact rule, you take a break from your partner and clear your head. We usually make the biggest mistakes when we’re emotionally charged. By not contacting your partner, you both go through the stages of grief and process what’s happening.

#3 You reset the relationship. Now, you may be thinking why would I want to heal? I want to be back with them! I get you, but just be patient. The no contact rule gives you the chance to reset the relationship. You have gone through some of the grieving processes, have thought about the relationship, and decided to give it another try. The old relationship is dead, and the new one is here. [Read: Why slow and steady is the key when getting back with an ex]

#4 Get active. During the no contact rule, you can’t sit at home and think about your partner. That’s not how this period of time needs to be spent. Instead, go outside and get active. Go hiking, take a yoga class, join the gym. By being active, you’ll be able to take control over your life and release your excess energy.

#5 It stops future damage. Nothing good ever happens when two people are emotional during a breakup. Nothing. So, if you want to get back with your ex, do some damage control. By not contacting your ex, you give you and your partner the chance to wind down. By the time the no contact rule is over, both of you will have had time to relax and then talk about the relationship.

#6 Don’t respond to your ex. Your ex-partner may try to contact you, but you shouldn’t respond. If you do, you’re breaking the no contact rule. You both need this time to take a break from one another. So, if your ex texts, call, or messages you, do not reply. 

#7 Be social. During the breakup, you’ll want to stay inside and watch Netflix, but you shouldn’t do that. You need to go out with your friends and live a social life. The no contact rule isn’t easy, and many people struggle with not contacting their ex. But the people who succeed, make sure they spend time with friends and family.

#8 Your ex will have to face the choice they made. If they decided to break up with you, they need to sit with their decision. By not contacting your ex, you give them time and space to face the consequences of their actions. Don’t awkwardly hang around and wait for them to change their mind. [Read: How to give someone space without fearing you’ll lose them]

#9 There’s no time limit. When it comes to the no contact rule, there’s no set limit for how much time you should take a break from your partner. However, in general, most people follow a 30-day no contact rule. It’s enough time to unwind from the breakup and make a rational decision.

#10 It gives them time to miss you. If you want your ex back, they need to miss you. The only way to do that is to give them enough space to actually miss you. If you contact your ex, all you do is ignite emotion and bad memories. Instead, give them space to think about the little things in your relationship, the things they miss. [Read: How to make your ex miss you and desire you again]

#11 Work on self-care. Breakups aren’t easy, and neither is the no contact rule. You may spend nights awake and crying or thinking endlessly about what happened. But this period of time will give you the chance to relax, unwind, and give your body the attention it deserves.

#12 You open your eyes to new paths. You want your ex back, I understand. But the no contact rule also works to show you other paths you can go down. You may realize that you don’t want to get back with your ex and that you enjoy the single life much better. Regardless, the no contact rule gives you space to decide. [Read: Unhappy in your relationship? How to choose the right path forward for you]

#13 It shows your worth. By not contacting your ex, you’re showing them your worth. You’re not annoying them with texts and phone calls. Instead, you’re radio silent because they need to see your worth, and that you don’t need them.

[Read: The 10 strong signs your ex is over you and it is time for you to move on]

You want your ex back, right? Give the no contact rule a try. This rule usually works if you do it properly. So, expect to get your ex back in no time. Or realize that you you don’t want them anymore, after all!

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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