The transition from puppy love into real love can be a confusing one. If you’re curious if what you’re feeling is real love, this guide will help.
Love is hard as it is. It’s even harder when you think about how many different types of love are out there. Back in the day, I used to think there was only one kind of love. True love. Come to find out, there’s a whole bunch of other types of love that I never even considered before.
So, with all those types of love out there, how do you know when you’re in real love? It’s easy to think that your puppy love is true love, but let me be the first to tell you, it’s most definitely not. It’s not even close to the real thing, no matter how much you think it is.
The importance of the different types of love
You fall in love so many times in your life, and all for a good reason. No love goes wasted. Even when you feel like loving someone during your life was just pointless, it wasn’t. Whenever you fall in love – no matter what type it is – you’re getting one step closer to real love.
Each time you fall in love, you’re learning and growing, and you’re allowing yourself to love further each time. And after a while, when you’re ready, you’ll fall in love for real, and you’ll be thankful each of those types of love happened to you. [Read: The 10 types of love you’ll experience in your lifetime]
How to know if you’ve graduated from puppy love to real love
The biggest type of love that you’ll want to know if you’ve grown out of is puppy love. This type of love is the kind where your heart goes stir crazy whenever you think of them, you want to be with them every second of every day, and you fall hard and fast.
While this may sound like real love, it’s not. It’s young love. It’s desire love. It’s puppy love. When you realize you’ve graduated from this type of love and are in the real thing, it’s like nothing else on earth. Knowing when you’re finished with your puppy love stage is crucial to know so you can determine who will be your life partner.
#1 You fell in love suddenly. If it was “love at first sight” or anything remotely close to that, it’s usually puppy love. You can’t build a real love when you barely know someone.
#2 You can’t get enough of them in all forms. You want to be all over them all the time, and nothing anybody says can change that. This “can’t get enough” attitude has more to do with your desire to have them around. It’s like an addiction, not really love.
#3 You do nice things so they like you more. If the only reason you’re doing nice things for this person is so they’ll like you more, it’s not real love. Many people think they’re doing these sweet things out of love, but in reality, it’s just their puppy-loving side wanting to get more attention.
#4 You think everything *and I mean everything* they do is adorable. Nobody truly in love will think their partner is adorable every hour of the day. If you find every single thing they do to be cute and adorable, then it’s just puppy love. [Read: Infatuation vs. Love – 14 ways to tell the difference]
#5 You start to form a type of obsession with them. You want to know everything they’re doing every hour of every day. This is something of an obsession, and it’s not actually healthy. Puppy love is intense this way, and nothing like real love in this sense.
When it’s real love
You’ll know it. These are some signs that you’re no longer in puppy love, but rather, you’ve graduated to the real stuff. The good stuff.
#1 You’re comfortable. You feel at home with them no matter where you are. They bring you ease and comfort without even trying to. When they’re around, you feel like things are just how they should be.
#2 You feel safe. Being comfortable isn’t the only thing your partner brings. When you feel safe and secure when you’re with them, along with these other signs of real love, then you can safely assume you’re no longer just in puppy love. [Read: What is real love? 15 ways true love sets itself apart]
#3 Your desire is still there, but it’s more of an admiration. Desire never really dies when you’re truly in love. It’s true that it can dwindle down into something more constant. I refer to this feeling as a deep admiration for your partner. When it’s real love, you admire them, and this replaces that burning desire you once felt.
#4 You feel certain. You don’t question things when you’re in real love. I don’t mean to say you don’t question whether you’re in love – because that’s why you’re here. I’m saying you don’t question their intentions. You feel certain that what they say, they’ll do. And how they feel is true.
#5 You want to do nice things because it makes them happy. You don’t do sweet things so they’ll like you any more. You do nice things because you want to see them happy. You do those things because you know they appreciate them, and it makes you happy to do them. You may even do sweet things without even thinking about it. [Read: How to show love – 15 sweet ways to express love without words]
#6 You love them for who they are – not what they look like/what they provide. You love everything about them because it makes them who they are.
You don’t care if they’re not the most attractive or that they’re job isn’t the best. You don’t care that they can’t cook or if they suck at doing laundry. You love them for everything they are because it makes them the person you love.
#7 You feel evenly matched. You feel like you’re treated the same as you treat them. You feel like they challenge you and push you to be a better person. When you’re in real love, you feel as though you’re in a partnership with someone. You’re a team, and no one player is better than the other.
#8 A feeling of contentment settles over your relationship. You have arguments here and there, and you’ll have some bad days and even more good days. The point is, even through all of that, you feel as though your relationship is content. You feel like your relationship is solid even if other things in your life are rocky. [Read: How to know when you’re in love – 50 signs you can’t ignore]
#9 Their happiness is your happiness. When you’d rather they be happy than yourself, you’re in real love. Puppy love is very selfish. True love is anything but. If you really love someone, you put their happiness above all else.
#10 You trust them with everything you have. People often forget that trust is the most important indicator of love. Sure, you can trust someone and not long for them, but if you’re in real love, you trust your partner to be there for you, nurture your life, and bring compassion into it.