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When it’s True Love: 18 Ways to Split Casual Dates from Real Love

How do you know the difference between true love and lust? Yeah, I know. Got you thinking, right? Here’s how to know when it’s true love.

when it's true love

There’s always that moment you have with someone when you’re staring into their eyes and thinking to yourself, “Do I love this person? Could I love this person?”  We’ve all been there. It happens whenever you get yourself in a relationship. But how you do know when it’s true love?

I wish it could be as simple as receiving a text from Afrodite saying, “You know that girl/guy you went to the movies with last Friday? You’re going to love them.” Thanks, Afrodite, you really cleared that up.

18 ways to know when it’s true love

Of course, love is completely the opposite, although it’s basically a bunch of hormones being released. And it’s confusing, your head hurts, you’re scared… I get it. You know, though, it doesn’t have to be this hard. You just need to be aware of the signs.

To know when it’s true love, you must look within… queue in mystical music and the smoke machine. Here are 18 ways to know when it’s true love.

#1 You hide nothing. You’re not quickly hiding your Tinder app on your phone or dodging your Friday night date because you met someone the other night. Why would you?

You’re in love, baby! You have nothing to hide, nor do you want to hide anything from them. Didn’t the Spice Girls sing about this? When two become one. [Read: 12 real signs of true love in a relationship]

#2 You’re done with the games. You don’t need to wait three hours to text them back. In fact, you text them all the damn time and probably send them toilet or double chin selfies. You hold nothing back because love isn’t about games. That’s what dating is for. Dating is games. Love is about finding your soulmate.

#3 You compromise. When you’re single, compromising is the worst. You wanna do what you wanna do and if they don’t wanna do it, you’ll find someone else.

But now, it’s all about compromising and you’re okay with it. You’re just happy to hang out with your partner, whether you like playing laser tag or not. And that’s when it’s true love. [Read: Compromise in relationship – 12 ways to give without losing]

#4 You respect each other. This may be shocking for some, but love is based on respect. If you don’t respect your partner, then how do you expect to be with them? People who respect each other stay together. That’s not a saying… I just made it up. But it’s true.

#5 You accept their flaws. You hate that they snort when they laugh or slurp while eating soup, but you know, that’s them. They’re flawed, you’re flawed, we’re all flawed. Basically, being in love is about finding someone whose flaws you can tolerate. [Read: 15 ways you’ll experience what true love really feels like]

#6 That being said, you don’t focus on them. If you’re focusing on their flaws every day, then this person is not for you. You know about their flaws, but love is about acknowledging them and moving forward. If their flaws bother you so much, then you probably don’t love them as much as you think you do.

#7 When they’re happy, you’re happy. Yes, that’s a huge part of when it’s true love. I know, it sounds mushy, but it’s true. When you’re in love, you’ll agree with this. Your happiness is found when your partner is happy. That being said, when they’re sad, you’re also sad. So, basically, you feel everything they feel.

#8 You’re there during the rough times. This is crucial. When I liked a guy, I used to think to myself, “Would I wipe their butt if they couldn’t?” and if I couldn’t, then it wasn’t love. If it’s love, you’ll be there through every rough patch imaginable. [Read: Infatuation vs love – 14 ways you can tell the difference]

#9 You feel it. Don’t doubt your gut instinct. You know when you’re in love. You feel it in your bones. Now, you also know when they love or don’t love you as well. Just listen to the gut! Feeling it is when you know it’s true love.

#10 You’re thinking about the future. You’re thinking about how your kids will look or if they’d make a good parent. It’s a scary moment, but when you’re thinking about it, you know you’re falling deep into the love hole. Embrace it.

#12 You’ve stopped looking for better. When you’re dating, you’re always comparing people – who’s better looking, who’s smarter, blah blah blah. But when you’re in love, you couldn’t less about anyone else. I mean, you don’t lose your ability to see another good-looking person, but you’re not going crazy wishing you could be with them. [Read: How to make a relationship last – 19 love commandments]

#13 You’re a better person. You find yourself being a better person in general. You notice yourself doing an act of kindness and sharing your positive energy with others. If someone is making you a better person, well, then you’ve been struck by the love bug.

#14 Real love doesn’t hurt. Unless you stub your toe, there should be no tears when you’re in love. Real love isn’t supposed to be filled with pain and torture. That would indicate you’re dating a psychopath, so I recommend letting them go slowly. Remember, real love means no tears.

#15 You’ve passed the honeymoon phase. If you’re way past the honeymoon phase, and you’re still going strong together. So that means you two have it down. After the honeymoon phase, most couples dissolve. However, true love continues on. [Read: 13 relationship mistakes new couples make all the time]

#16 You’re kind. When you’re passing a store and see something in the window that reminds you of your partner, you buy for them as a surprise. Or, you make them breakfast in bed. These are all acts of kindness that show your appreciation towards that person.

#17 It’s not all about you. It’s not all about you, and you know what, you don’t mind it. You know you’re in love when you start using “we” instead of “I.” Although it’s a small change in a sentence, it really shows a lot about what you think of your relationship. [Read: 20 undeniable signs you have found the one]

#18 You laugh. Love is all about positivity. If you’re always laughing with your partner, and I mean a genuine laugh, that shows your attraction to them on a deeper level. Couples that laugh together, stay together.

[Read: Real soulmates – 20 signs you’ve actually met the love of your life]

While looking at these tips, think about your relationship. Are these signs present in your relationship? If so, well, I think you caught the love bug… and that’s when it’s true love.

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Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
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