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How to Fall in Love Slowly: 28 Steps to Create a Real-Life Fairytale

New relationships are exciting. But, it’s also important to know how to fall in love slowly so it will last long-term. Here is everything you need to know.

how to fall in love slowly

For many people in the world, love is overrated and hyped. But the truth is, many people don’t actually believe in love because they don’t know know how to fall in love slowly.

They believe that cohabiting or getting married is just a way to find someone who can help you when you need help.

Honestly, that’s just sad.

How can you ever find true love or experience the bliss of romance if you don’t even believe it exists?

We’ll tell you this. Love does exist. And it’s a beautiful thing. Falling in love can feel like a beautiful fairytale if you just know how to experience it.

So, let’s talk about what it means to fall in love slowly, the benefits, and how to do it the right way. First, we’ll start with what it means.

[Read: What is true love? 22 signs of love to know if your love is real]

What does it mean to fall in love slowly?

Taking your time to fall in love means moving the relationship forward at a rate that you’re both comfortable with. This includes commitment, feelings, and intimacy.

However, falling in love slowly means different things to different people. We’re all unique and go at our own pace and value different things. Because of this, it’s important to be open and honest with the person you’re dating to make sure you both know how to fall in love slowly.

Some people might perceive wanting to take things slowly to be a bad thing. The reason they think this, is because they assume the other person is unsure about how they feel about them. Or maybe they’ve been hurt in the past and are protecting themselves if they feel like someone isn’t going all in as soon as they can.

But falling in love slowly isn’t always a bad idea. In fact, there are a lot of benefits to it. So, let’s take a look at some of them. [Read: How to slow down a relationship – 18 ways to do it and not hurt them]

Benefits of knowing how to fall in love slowly

Honestly, a lot of the relationships that start out quickly don’t always last. They tend to start with a bang and then fizzle out just as suddenly.

These are romances that are whirlwinds and are mostly built on lust, not love. They “fall in love” with an illusion or fantasy of the other person. And then that fades – or it all becomes too intense, and one or both people want to call it quits. [Read: How long does it take to fall in love? The answer to know for sure]

So, here’s why it is beneficial to fall in love slowly.

1. You can establish a friendship

Let’s face it – if you decide to stay together for the rest of your lives, your beauty will eventually fade. So, if you’re mostly basing your relationship on sexual attraction, then it will be a weak foundation. That’s why you should focus on building a strong friendship as well. [Read: First date with a friend – How to go from friends to something more]

2. You can extend the new early part of the relationship

Everyone loves those butterflies that you feel when you fall in love. But they don’t last forever. So, when you know how to fall in love slowly, you can extend this beautiful phase of the relationship.

3. You can spend more time building a deep connection

When you fall in love slowly, it means that you are also building a deep connection. You want that strong foundation to build the rest of your relationship on. When you go too quickly, the connection is usually based on mundane, surface characteristics. [Read: The honeymoon phase and how to calculate how long it’ll last for you]

4. You can figure out what’s infatuation and what are true feelings

A lot of people mistake infatuation with the true feelings of being in love. But it’s really vague in the beginning. It’s easy to think your “feelings of being in love” are actually love. However, it might only be lust. [Read: Infatuation vs. love – 20 ways you can tell the difference]

5. You give your time to see red flags

When rush into falling in love, we often miss the red flags we should have seen.

In other words, we don’t see the other person’s flaws and how they are not compatible with us. But when you go slowly, you have the opportunity to see those before it’s too late. [Read: 34 big relationship red flags most people completely ignore early in a relationship]

6. You can keep your life balanced

Often, when someone gets into a new relationship, they will shift their priorities in life almost completely over to their new partner. So, other things fall at the wayside.

But when you learn to fall in love slowly, you can still make time for the other things that are important to you like friends, work, hobbies, and family.

7. You can still fulfill yourself by keeping some space

Everyone needs a little alone time. It’s healthy to have me-time and learn to grow as a person – by yourself. So, when you take your time in a relationship, you can still have some space to work on your self-love too. [Read: You-complete-me relationships and why you need your space]

8. You can gain more confidence in the relationship

Finally, when you go slowly, you can take the time to build trust with each other. This will make you much more confident in your relationship long-term.

Without trust, there is no relationship. So, if you take the time to do this, then you have a greater chance the partnership will survive long-term.

How to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale – the right way

If you know how to fall in love slowly with someone and enjoy every moment of it, you’ll be able to experience it and cherish it better than many others who think love is just an excuse for sex or a way to lean on someone else.

It doesn’t matter if you’re already in love or falling in love with someone right this moment, just use these tips on how to fall in love slowly like you’re in a fairytale, and guess what, you will fall into a perfect one! [Read: How to be patient in a new relationship and avoid risking new love]

1. Stretch the wooing period

Both of you may like each other a lot already. But don’t ask each other out too soon. Stretch the wooing for as long as both of you possibly can. The longer you play the chase, the deeper and truer your love will be. 

Just enjoy the dating period for a while and both of you will truly value the relationship and the commitment to each other. [Read: How to woo a girl and make her fall for you]

2. Fall in love with each other even before popping the question

As humans, we only enjoy something and value it when we’ve worked hard to achieve it. Even if there’s a lot of love in the air, let the confusion stay for a while.

Linger and date each other for a few months, maybe even six months before both of you give your relationship a name.

By doing this, you’ll always remember your wooing and pursuing days forever and treasure every step you took before actually committing to each other. And if your partner couldn’t wait even a few months, could they really be satisfied with you for the rest of your life? [Read: 30 relationship rules for successful lovelife]

3. Don’t have sex for as long as you can hold it

It might be old-fashioned to say this, but in these days of fast love and casual sex, all of us are ever ready to take a plunge into bed as soon as we possibly can. 

It’s not a bad thing, but at times, prolonging it can actually bring both of you closer without the confusion of sex and lust which can create a strong infatuation that can be confused with love.

4. Go out of your way to please each other

Fairytales have a lot of evil plots. You really don’t need them in your life. But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t go out of your way to do something special for your lover.

At least in the first few months of love, put in your effort and labor of love to prove your love for this special person. [Read: A sweet example of the labor of unconditional love]

5. Always look good on a date

Fairytale romances always look so beautiful. The setting is always perfect. The lovers look pretty and the dates look like, well, fairytales. If you really want to experience falling in love slowly like a fairytale, learn to look good for each other. 

Awe your date each time with your charm, beauty and grace, and both of you will create a picture-perfect romance wherever you go. [Read: How to be graceful and elegant all the time]

6. Don’t spend too much time meeting each other at the beginning

Unless you’re living together already, don’t crowd each other’s spaces. Give space to miss each other and fall more in love all the time. Sometimes, it takes missing each other to fall more in love with each other. 

You can meet each other every day if you want to, but don’t spend all your free time together. Learn to miss your lover and your love will bloom like never before. [Read: How much time should couples spend together? The exact answers you need]

7. Be the perfect lady and gentleman for each other

Boring lovers say chivalry is dead. But true lovers know it’s actually the only way to show much you care about each other.

Treat each other like knights and damsels when you’re with each other. Respect each other and always look for ways to make something easier for each other. [Read: How to be chivalrous in these modern times]

8. Keep the chase alive after getting into the relationship

Don’t be easy to get. Compromise, give in, but don’t be a doormat. As much as falling in love should be about giving in to each other’s wants, it’s not about putting up with each other.

Never lose respect for each other and learn to put your foot down or play hard to get when your partner disrespects you or takes you for granted.

9. Stay in touch

Old fairytales are filled with love letters and thoughtful souvenirs of love. You don’t have to be with each other all the time, but keep each other updated through little texts and happy surprises. 

Buy little gifts when you go shopping by yourself, or when you see something your partner may like. Take off on weekend getaways or vacations now and then to keep the connection alive. [Read: The beginners guide to writing a perfect love letter]

10. Create new experiences all the time

Love is impatient, just like youth. You’d want to experience everything it has to offer immediately. But if you genuinely think you like someone, don’t rush into it. 

Plan activities with your partner but keep a few experiences in mind for later too. Love, just like everything else in life, has to be fueled constantly with new experiences.

11. Make an effort to stay loyal

Sometimes, it’s not easy to stay loyal when there are so many good-looking people and flirty banter all around us. 

But ask yourself, is a few minutes of orgasms worth breaking the special bond you have with your lover? Would you intentionally want to break your lover’s heart just for a bit of casual fun with someone else? It’s hard to stay loyal, but always remember that it’s worth it. [Read: The right way to resist temptation in love]

12. Communicate with each other

Spend a lot of time talking to each other and learn about each other’s wants and desires in all aspects of your lives if you want to fall in love like a fairytale. [Read: The best things to talk about in a perfect relationship]

13. Always end an argument

You don’t have to fear arguments in a relationship. Fairytales have them too. But what matters when you have an argument is the way you end it. Never walk away from an argument and shut the door on your partner. 

Even if it hurts like crazy, talk about it and always end the argument with a warm hug and a kiss, even if you’re clenching your fists behind your partner’s back a moment before. [Read: Relationship arguments and 27 dos and don’ts to remember]

14. Don’t ignore sex once you get intimate

Yes, seeing the same naked body night after night is bound to get rather boring after a while. But good sex is very important if you want to keep love alive in your relationship.

Look for ways to recreate the passion of first-time sex and your relationship will be perfect forever. [Read: 50 kinky ideas to make sex sexier for a full lifetime!]

15. Special gestures

Falling in love is easy when there’s attraction and infatuation in the air. Staying in love needs a few reminders now and then.

Don’t overlook the smallest of gestures if you think they’ll bring a smile to your lover’s lips. [Read: 25 sweet romantic gestures for everyday life]

16. Make long term plans

Talk about your lives together with each other. Make little plans together for the future. Can you imagine waking up every morning with no purpose or direction? Your life would be rather dull and boring, don’t you think? 

If you want to fall in love and stay in love, you need to give meaning and a purpose to your relationship by creating little milestones and goals to keep the excitement and passion alive. [Read: How to have a long term relationship that lasts]

Buy tickets to a convert three months from now, decide on a vacation a year from now, make plans to buy something together two years from now.

Love isn’t just about this moment, it’s about looking forward and realizing that there are so many more things to look forward to, together.

17. Always look at the bright side

Be happy and cheerful in your everyday lives. People who dwell on sadness and pain have a way of attracting it in their daily lives.

If you want your love life to feel like a fairytale, be positive in your thoughts and expectations from the relationship. If you fear your relationship is going downward, in all probability, it will. [Read: How to be more positive – 24 steps to happy and dramatic life shift]

18. Create memories and save them

If you want to know how to fall in love slowly and keep the love alive, never let love get repetitive or stagnant. Don’t ever take each other for granted either. Instead, share new activities together, be it gardening or going on a trek. 

Make new memories all the time. Even if it seems trivial today, it’ll hold a lot of value a year or even a decade from now. Create a handmade souvenir, write a little love note, or gift your partner something small but lasting. It only takes a moment, but these last a lifetime.

Always take photographs or make videos together. Special memories of everyday casual moments can actually help both of you fall more in love with each other each time you watch those photographs or videos again. [Read: Instant relationship – How to slow down and prepare for happiness]

19. Don’t have expectations

When you rush into a relationship, you tend to have more expectations. But, when you take your time and fall in love slowly, you can have realistic expectations of what is going to happen between the two of you.

Sometimes our expectations are too high and no one can really reach them long-term. So, this gives you a chance to put things into perspective. [Read: 20 healthy expectations in a relationship that define a good love life]

20. Make sure to be yourself

When we first start dating someone, a lot of people aren’t their “true self.” Instead, they put on their “best self” which is not who they truly are. After a while, their true self eventually comes to the surface and that can be a make or break time.

But if you are your true self while you go slowly, then the other person will fall in love with who you really are, not who you pretend to be. And the same goes for you falling in love with the real them too.

[Read: Why relationships fail – 25 reasons why so many relationships fall apart all the time]

Don’t lose faith in love. Your dream of perfect love is in your own hands. Understand how to fall in love slowly and stay in love the right way, and your fairytale romance will definitely have a happily ever after.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...