If you’re sitting there thinking, “I miss him,” you’ll feel pretty low. But learning how to forget a guy who no longer cares is possible with time and effort.
Loss is like someone tearing your heart out, right through your chest. When thoughts of “I miss him” consume you, it feels similar to grief, like the end of the world for you.
The reason they call it heartbreak is that it feels like your heart is going to literally break in half because of how much pain it is having.
A void in your heart makes the world a dark and gray place to be in right now, but it’s important to remember that this will pass eventually.
You may want to call the guy, you may want to meet him, or you may even want to get back with him. But does he want the same thing? When you miss a guy, life is nothing short of confusing.
Beyond that, what do YOU want? Beyond all the feelings of hurt and yearning, what is best for you? Learning how to forget a guy is often the right route. [Read: I miss him so much but I don’t think he misses me at all]
How does he have the strength to move on?
Have you ever wondered how easy it is for the guy to move on while you still miss him? What you need is a distraction when you miss a guy. Here are a few reasons why he may seem stronger.
1. You may be weaker
Yes, it’s true. He may find it easier to move on because he’s more determined and focused on moving on. You’ll never move on until you convince yourself that moving on is the only option.
Learning how to forget a guy isn’t easy. But with determination, you’ll make your life easier.
2. He may have met someone else who filled that void
Sometimes, a rebound relationship is the best way to overcome the misery of missing someone you really loved. Perhaps that’s why he seems to be doing fine right now. [Read: How a rebound relationship can actually help you]
3. He may keep himself busy
Whether or not you find love, the easiest way to stop missing the guy you love is to keep yourself busy. He’s likely pushing aside any lingering hurt and just focusing on something else.
Remember the truth: he doesn’t care about you. It’ll give you strength even if it feels harsh. When you miss a guy, sometimes tough love is the only way to heal.
Is forgetting a guy really the best idea?
If you have unrequited feelings for someone, it’s best to just forget them and move on.
A lot of people think that it isn’t healthy to forget someone because it only represses memories and doesn’t let you move forward. However, we disagree.
Just because you’re forgetting about a guy doesn’t mean you’re harboring resentment or harmful feelings. It simply means you’re choosing to move past those memories, to let them go. You are overcoming and growing out of those feelings you once associated with the guy you miss. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]
What isn’t healthy is pining for someone who isn’t interested in you. Instead, you’re wasting valuable time and brain space that could be used to find someone as crazy about you as you are about them.
Keep your memories but move on
When you miss a guy, you don’t have to forget him completely. You can give him a special place in your heart, but keep it locked up, and don’t let it interfere with other aspects of your life. And once you’re in a better headspace, you can look back on the memories both of you shared—but don’t dwell on them.
After all, if he’s moved on, so can you. Thinking about an ex isn’t a bad thing. But putting your life on hold definitely is.
This is how you can learn how to forget a guy and look to a brighter future. [Read: Signs your ex is thinking about you or missing you]
How to forget a guy and learn to move on
When you miss a guy, your heartbreak might feel like never-ending pain, but the sun will shine again.
When you find yourself saying, “I miss him,” it just means you’re capable of love. And that’s never a bad thing, is it? It’s never going to be easy when you miss a guy, but you’ll eventually get better at dealing with it.
Take it one day at a time until eventually, a whole day will pass without you thinking of him. And then a week. And then a month, a year, you get the point. Here are tips you can follow to help you in the moving-on process.
1. Think of all his flaws and shortcomings
We like to think of the people we love as perfect and divine beings, but they’re not. When you miss a guy, remember everything he did to hurt you and let you down.
It’s easier to focus on the perfect moments when we miss someone, but your love for them is hiding their greatest flaws and imperfections.
There were undoubtedly things that you didn’t like about him, like his need to always be right or his inability to help do the dishes. A relationship fails because the bad outweighed the good and it’s time you realize this. [Read: Stages of a breakup and how to get through them]
2. Keep yourself busy
The best way to feel better when you miss him is to distract yourself just enough to forget the thought of missing him. When you keep thinking, “I miss him,” you’ll never be strong enough to cope with the reality of a life without him.
Your thoughts are loudest when you’re hurting, so do what you must to cope with your heartbreak and loss. Idle minds are the devil’s playground because they allow you to fill the space with memories and despair.
Feel free to binge on your favorite shows, play your favorite video games, spend time with your friends, or get out and have fun. Do everything except wallow in your own sorrow and devastation. [Read: Alone time – why you need it, how it helps, and how to make the most of it]
3. Do all the things you didn’t do when you were together
When you are a couple, you sometimes give up the things you love because there isn’t enough time, or your partner simply isn’t a big fan.
Instead of spending all your energy missing him, use this opportunity to go to the beach, party with your friends, or do something you’ve always wanted to do yourself.
Don’t allow your heartbreak to make you less of who you are. When you miss him, find out who you are instead of getting lost in your pain and loss. [Read: 15 lessons you can learn from your breakups]
4. Find a hobby
Your independence should be the sole focus at this stage of your life. That means finding new hobbies you may not have considered before.
Pursue a new hobby like a painting or cooking class, work on your dreams, and enjoy life! You don’t have to answer to anyone and now you have much more time as well, so find out what you love and what you are passionate about and go for it.
5. Go out as much as possible
If your friend suggests a date with one of their co-workers, don’t shut the thought out just because you think you aren’t ready to date. You need to expand your horizons and get out of your comfort zone.
This is one of the best distractions to forget the pain of missing him. It also gives high possibilities of meeting someone else, even when you’re far from ready. You’ll never be able to completely live your life if you don’t put yourself out there again. [Read: Rebound relationships and why they’re the best thing to get over a guy]
6. Let it go and stop obsessing
No matter how much you make sense of things and explore every scenario, you’ll never have all the answers. Even if you had closure, you can still end up obsessing, so it’s not a reliable solution.
It’s so easy to get stuck in a rut and rehash things when you miss him, but be strong enough to refrain from this. Instead of trying to find out why he left, why he had to go, or why it didn’t work, let the unknown stay unknown.
The more you talk about it, the more you dwell on events of the past. Working through the anxiety is much better than digging up old feelings again and again. [Read: Signs of obsessive love you can’t ignore]
7. Put away pictures and memories
Pictures can give us something to hold on to, especially when that person is no longer in our lives. However, they can also hinder you from moving forward and living your best life.
This doesn’t mean you have to burn all your photos and memories together, but at least put them away where you can’t see them.
You can always put them back when you have grieved, and those memories are no longer sad. Until then, keep the memories you share in a hidden space so you can focus on moving forward. [Read: 15 very effective rules to forget someone you once cared for]
8. Return things via mail
When you miss him, keeping his belongings as a constant reminder won’t help.
You might come up with every excuse in the book to see him, such as returning his things in person or “accidentally” stumbling into him. Even when you miss him, you shouldn’t put yourself through the torture of seeing him in person.
Return his belongings via the mail to get past the hurt of seeing them all the time. [Read: Honest secrets to let go of the past, be happy, and look to the future]
9. Avoid triggers
There are going to be things that trigger your memories and bring back the hurt. You need to identify your triggers so you actively avoid them or learn to cope.
If a chick flick sets you off, don’t watch it. If you both had pizza every Friday, skip it. You will always find reminders around you that will trigger thoughts of “I miss him,” but don’t let them get to you.
10. Avoid your old hangouts
The more you torture yourself by going back to your old date spots, the harder it is to stop missing him. At least, until you’re fully healed and have moved on from him.
Unless you find your pain amusing, this isn’t an advisable way to deal with it when you miss him. Avoid those places and find new spots that bring you joy. You can always make new memories in these places. [Read: I miss my ex-boyfriend – 15 ways to really stop missing him for good]
11. Make new goals
Investing in your personal development is the best way to stop being consumed by thoughts of “I miss him.” Even if everything hurts and you want to dwell in your pain, you’re stronger than you think.
It doesn’t have to be a lofty goal, just one that will get your head back in the game and help you progress toward the future. Make a commitment to get a promotion, go back to school, or even run a marathon.
Creating both short-term and long-term goals will also give you a sense of direction and purpose in your life. [Read: The need for purpose in life – 5 things it can do for you]
12. Find a rebound guy
Why would you use a rebound guy to get over another guy? After all, there’s a very good possibility that you may end up falling for the new guy, or worse, feel even more empty than you’ve ever felt before.
Not everyone can handle a rebound without complications, but if you think you can, then go for it!
Find someone who makes you laugh and forget your past, even if only for a while. Rebound guys are awesome because they remind you that love will come again. [Read: Rebound sex questions to know if you’re ready to hook up for fun]
13. Have a change of environment
You can’t stop your thoughts when you miss him if you’re surrounded by the same environment you lost him in. Go on that beach trip, take a hiking trip, or buy that plane ticket!
The world is too vast to stop exploring just because of one person. Sometimes, all you need is to get out of your comfort zone when you miss him. You never know, you might meet new friends and a potential lover along the way.
This is one of the best ways to learn how to forget a guy because it opens up a world of new opportunities. [Read: 15 reasons why you should travel at least once a year]
14. Stop taking other people’s advice
No matter how much you talk about him, you’re the only one who knows what you should do. You were the only one in the relationship, so stop asking for reassurance and suggestions from everyone around you.
Follow your gut instinct and do what you think is right. Obviously, you also need to think logically so, no, don’t go stalking your ex just because you miss him. But if you think you should start dating again, then you’re allowed to do so.
Stop living your life by other people’s yardsticks. [Read: 16 common relationship tips that can ruin your love life]
15. Read a lot
Social media and memes are fun, but sometimes all it does is make you want to share that meme with him! Books, on the other hand, will give you the knowledge and company you seek, especially when thoughts of “I miss him” are filling your mind.
Heartbreak might seem like the end of the world for you, but we guarantee it’s really not. Reading a lot of books can instill a whole new approach to life, and can be the perfect distraction away from your phone or social media.
16. Find a partner in crime
This is often where you need a best friend or someone who goes through the silliest adventures with you. When you miss him, you need someone who’s down to do anything with you.
A partner in crime will help you to do crazy things, have a good time, and fill the space that may feel empty. [Read: Partner in crime – 31 signs you have this true friend in your life already]
17. Erase him from social media
If you want to learn how to forget a guy, then you have to stop torturing yourself. Stop stalking him or trying to figure out if he misses you. Social media is the one platform that’s detrimental to your moving-on process.
If you see that he’s already with someone else, or that he’s completely moved on, it’ll only make you feel worse. You wouldn’t want that, would you? [Read: Should I block my ex? 17 signs to decide what’s best for you]
18. Erase his number
As long as his number is saved in your contacts, you will always miss him and want to contact him.
Missing someone is never easy, but removing the temptation of crawling back makes you stronger than who you used to be. It also saves the danger of you potentially drunk calling him. [Read: What you should do after a breakup to feel awesome]
19. Stop talking to mutual friends
At some point, his friends also became your friends. While it’s tempting to check on him through those mutual friends, refrain from doing so.
If you want to stop missing him, then you have to either let go of your common friends or stop talking about him. Keeping his friends around isn’t helping your moving-on progress in any way nor is it healthy for your sanity. [Read: The most common post-breakup mistakes you should never do]
20. Sit with your feelings
No amount of distractions or tequila shots will make you forget how much everything hurts. Missing him might feel unbearable, but tomorrow is another day. You need to sit with your feelings if you want to move on and heal.
Otherwise, your emotions could turn to repressed feelings – the most dangerous of them all. Let yourself cry if you must, sing all the songs in your playlist, or watch romcoms. [Read: How to take care of yourself emotionally and avoid falling apart]
21. Choose happiness
There are so many ways you can be happy without torturing yourself. Missing someone can be hard, but it’s not the reason why you should give up on life completely.
If the thoughts of “I miss him” won’t go away, realize that happiness is one decision away. You can always find joy in the things and people that make you happy. The choice to get over him is still yours.
It’s totally up to you if you want to dwell or choose happiness. [Read: Secret to happiness – the uncomplicated guide for a happy life]
22. Remember that you can’t force someone to love you back
You can try a few times, but no matter how much you push someone into loving you, it’ll never happen. If he walks away from you, it doesn’t matter how much you miss him, he’s not going to come back to you unless he wants to.
It’s a hard fact to learn, but it will help you in the end. [Read: Should you ever date an ex again?]
23. Focus on your self-respect
Even if you arm-twisted him into dating you again, would you even be happy? Is that how you want to find the love of your life? No self-respecting woman will put up with a guy who tosses her around like a rag doll.
Spend this time focusing on your confidence and your self-respect. You don’t need any guy that doesn’t want you. [Read: How to respect yourself – 37 secrets of self-respect, self-belief, and self-love]
24. Resolve some feelings
Dig deep inside yourself and figure out how you truly feel. Ask yourself the tough question: what part of this breakup is really hurting the most?
Is it the rejection? Wounded pride? Or are you angry that you felt misled by this guy? Perhaps you are simply grieving a future that could have been, and feel cheated of that potential relationship.
Whatever it is, you must identify it and then let it go. Acknowledge those feelings and try to release the anger, hurt, and disappointment. It is easier said than done, but it’s the only way to really forget that guy who hurt you. [Read: 15 signs an ex is confused about their wants and feelings & what to do]
25. Avoid the pity party
To forget a guy, you need to acknowledge your emotions without wallowing in them. You are entitled to your feelings but you cannot let them consume you to the point of it being all you think about.
When you feel like the world is against you, try to keep things in perspective. Rejection and heartbreak are a part of dating, a part of life. These lows are what make the highs so amazing. [Read: Why does love hurt? 31 things we do that hurts and secrets to ease the pain]
26. Remember the good times
Once you have some distance from heartbreak, occasionally reflecting on the good times can help you get over an ex and forget about him.
It sounds counterintuitive, but by acknowledging that not everything about this guy was bad, you can lessen his importance in your life.
Remembering the good times reminds you that he wasn’t an actual demon, just a guy who let you down that you want to forget about.
If you just paint him in a negative light, you’ll end up forming resentment toward him that’ll stick in your mind forever. [Read: Why your ex still pops up in your mind from time to time]
27. Think about the toxicity he brought to your life.
Now it’s okay for you to think back to all the bad stuff. The more you can remember, the easier it’ll be to accept that you don’t need him in your life. You may even end up losing those strong feelings.
Romanticizing the past is normal human behavior, but it doesn’t help you forget a guy that broke your heart. Acknowledge everything about the relationship and you will likely find that the bad greatly outweighed the good. [Read: 20 traits and signs of a toxic boyfriend that predict a painful relationship]
28. Let go of any regrets
Do you find yourself lying awake at night, thinking that if you had only done this or said that, you would still be with him?
Those regrets make us hold onto moments and people, torturing ourselves with what-ifs. Do your best to forgive yourself for whatever it is you felt you did wrong. You were simply not meant to be with that guy, and nothing would have changed that.
No matter what happened that made you want to forget him, you have to let it go. [Read: Major life lessons you can learn from regrets]
29. Be grateful for what you have
Gratitude is the key to happiness. When you are really hurting and want to forget a guy, take time to look around you and be grateful for what you have.
Note three things that you are grateful for, and try to remember that it’s not as bad as it seems.
When we’re upset and missing someone, it’s easy to think that emptiness is all there is in life. But that’s not true. The more you pay attention to the world around you, the more you’ll see he was such a small part of your life.
30. Remember that his door may have closed, but there are endless ones open
This isn’t the end of the world. You have so much more to look forward to and putting him in your past will help you get there.
Don’t think of him as a roadblock. Think of him as a side street you wandered down before getting back to the main road. [Read: Firm steps you need to take in order to forget someone]
You miss him, but it’s time to move on
Losing someone in your life is a really hard thing to deal with. There is no magic recipe to grieve and get over a relationship. Even if you learn how to forget a guy, it’s never as easy as in the movies.
Real life is messy, especially when you miss him so badly that it hurts. The key is not to keep yourself stuck by holding onto memories.
Everything happens for a reason and even if you don’t know all the answers right now, find closure and move on at your own pace.
[Read: 20 firm ways to get over a guy you like without falling apart]
When you miss him, always remember that when a door closes, a window opens. In other words, missing someone won’t be the death of you. As the saying goes, this too shall pass.
