Breaking up is never fun, and oftentimes it can seem like your whole world has ended. It doesn’t matter if you are the one who has been dumped, or if you are the one who did the dumping, the pain you go through is difficult no matter what.
Most of us tend to stop living our usual lives after a breakup, and we end up just sulking and feeling sorry for ourselves. But instead of giving in to your emotions, and walking around feeling sorry for yourself, you should embrace the ‘new’ you and look at all the positives that come out of being newly single.
How to stay busy after a breakup
If you are going through a difficult break up, and feeling like you are stuck in a rut, try these 8 tips to get that pep back in your step!
#1 Workout. Remember the time before you were in a relationship? Remember the single you that existed before you started dating what’s-his-face? You were proactive about keeping up your appearance because you wanted potential suitors to find you attractive.
When you finally got into a relationship, you got comfortable, started ordering more pizza in, cuddling on the couch, and slowly your workouts became less important. We’ve all been there. But now you’re single again and it’s time for you to stop feeling sorry for yourself! Start being the best version of you there is.
Put the pizza and the ice cream and the cake down! Go to the gym, go for a walk outside, figure out how to do Kanye’s Workout Plan. Just get back on your feet and get fit! [Read: 25 tips to motivate you to work out]
#2 Allow yourself one, and only one, good cry. If you must dwell and sulk and have the pity party you obviously want to throw for yourself, fine. But, you only get to throw yourself one pity party! That’s it! So if you must, then take time to have one really good, deep, passionate cry.
Let those waterworks roll down your face, cry so hard you clog your nose and it gets all snotty and disgusting. Be sure to play sad songs from Adele or Sia, watch ‘The First Wives Club’ while eating a pint of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and enjoy.
Roll around in all those deep emotions. Okay? And once you’ve cried all you can cry, once you’ve shed all the tears your little pitiful self can shed, get your booty up, go into your bathroom, turn on the hot water, and take a shower or bubble bath immediately. Cleanse yourself and let everything go down the drain. Your pity party is now over, and it’s time to clean up the mess-ter-piece that you are! [Read: 10 things to do after a breakup to feel awesome again]
#3 Try something new. Have you always wanted to try a pottery class? Have you been thinking about joining an art class? Have your thought of trying hot yoga because you saw a flyer about it posted downtown? It doesn’t matter if you only know how to draw a stick figure, or can’t even touch your toes. Take your best friend with you if you must, whatever it takes to get you out your door and into the world, go for it.
It might be intimidating, but it will also be relaxing. It’ll be a learning curve. You’ll meet new people, and you’ll surprise yourself in ways you probably didn’t even know you could. Chop chop, time is a wasting!
#4 Travel. Traveling is therapeutic! It’s exciting, and it’s also a great way to be reminded of all the great things life has to offer, instead of you wasting yours feeling sorry for yourself because some dude broke up with you. If you’ve always wanted to drive across the country, or travel to Europe, or go on a safari in Africa, there is no better time like the present.
Stop thinking that your life is ending, that you’ll never find someone or that you’ll never get married. Go and remind yourself of what real problems actually are. Look at the real problems people face, like not having clean drinking water or food on the table or a roof over their heads. Your relationship problems will feel trivial compared to what others have to face on a daily basis. Traveling will help clear and rejuvenate your mind, body, and soul.
#5 Crtl+A, then delete. You probably won’t like this one, but you must delete your ex from all your social media accounts. All those late night stalking sessions you’ve been doing, reading comments people are writing on your ex’s wall, or seeing what pictures he or she’s getting tagged in… None of it is healthy. In fact, it’s borderline stalkerish.
I know it might seem like you will be forever disconnected from your ex’s world, and that you don’t know how you can survive, but I promise once you start deleting, you won’t even think twice about checking your ex’s profile. You won’t have to go through the second heartache of knowing that your ex has moved on and is in a new relationship. Save that knowledge for when you’re so over your ex that seeing that familiar smirk won’t do anything to your emotions. [Read: What happens when you online stalk your ex?]
#6 Dear diary. If you have so many feelings and thoughts about your ex, grab your old pen and paper, and start writing your feelings down. This doesn’t mean you have to write a Jane Austen novel, but it helps when you can reflect on how you felt at a certain time in your life. Also, when you finally get over your ex, one day you’ll find yourself pulling your diary out of the dusty shelf, and reading what you wrote. You’ll also find yourself sounding pretty pathetic and laugh at how ridiculous you were. But that’s the whole point.
One day you’ll realize just how silly you were being over a failed relationship that obviously wasn’t and isn’t meant to be. If you don’t believe me when I say writing your feelings down is a great way to get over your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, then just think about all the songs Taylor Swift has come up with about guys she’s dated and how it’s not worked out? Like T-Swift says, just sh-shake it off, shake it off!
#7 Don’t get the rebound. I know some people believe that the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. If you are freshly single, you’re also fragile, sensitive, and probably not thinking as clearly as you should be.
If you hook up with The Rebound, this is what will happen: You’ll think about your ex when you kiss, you’ll cry in silence while The Rebound is touching you because it reminds you of something cute your ex used to do, you’ll be nervous because the only person you’ve been remotely half naked with is your ex, and you’ll feel like violated or something because The Rebound isn’t your ex. What’s worse is you might suddenly blurt out an “I love you” in an attempt to feel loved.
Whatever happens with The Rebound, the ball won’t bounce back in your court. The feelings you think you might have aren’t feelings, and aren’t even about The Rebound. Nope, they are triggers of all the memories of your ex that you are misinterpreting as feelings. And the worst part of all this is that The Rebound might pick up on your hang-ups about your ex and eventually leave you, making you feel more alone than you were before this whole rebound fiasco started! [Read: 15 signs you’re headed for rebound territory]
#8 Treat yourself. I know materialistic things won’t necessarily cure your broken heart entirely, but we all know that getting your nails done, changing your hairstyle, updating your wardrobe, or getting that brand new console that’s been out in the market for a mere three days can do wonders for you!
Call up a friend or a whole bunch of them, and go on a pleasure-binge where you do things that will only serve to make you feel better. Whether it’s shopping, playing basketball, binge-playing a new game or bar hopping, go for it and enjoy yourself!
[Read: How can you know if you’re ready for love again?]
A breakup isn’t the end of the world, so get back up and learn to live again! If you use these 8 tips on mending your broken heart right now, it’ll definitely speed up your pending membership of the soon-to-be-not-lonely-hearts club.
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