Breaking up is hard to do. We all know that. Whether you have been going out for five months or five years, knowing you are about to hurt someone you used to *or still do* care about can be really tough. And often, breakups are not black and white. Sometimes, you regret breaking up and can’t make up your mind if it was a good thing or a bad thing!
No matter how many months you’ve been together, there’s always a possibility of you regret breaking up. After all, you’ve been through a lot with this person, and breaking up isn’t an easy task. In fact, it takes a lot of guts and courage to break up with someone.
The initial stages of grief are challenging. And it’s confusing as well because we can’t tell whether the pain we feel is because we just miss a person who used to be a big part of our lives. Or if we made a stupid and disastrous mistake!
What if we made the worst mistake by leaving something that could’ve been fixed all along? Now, that’s why regret is such a powerful emotion.
[Read: Should I give him a second chance or should it be truly over?]
We regret breaking up because there’s always the possibility that we make the wrong decision. There are circumstances where breaking up is the only logical decision to make, such as a harmful or toxic relationship, or when you know they’re just the wrong person for you.
But what if you break up with them, not knowing there’s a possibility for things to be fixed? What if the issue wasn’t so much about a lack of chemistry but a lack of trying to fix things? That’s when you regret breaking up.
You know it’s regret and not grief over the loss when your mind doesn’t stop with the thoughts of – what if?
What if you tried harder? What if you had a real chance? What if you gave up too soon? Unfortunately, one of the after-effects of breaking up is confusion and regret over breaking up! [Read: How to deal with regret & learn to face your reality for what it is]
Figuring out the difference between the two can be difficult.
There’s a good chance the breakup may make you feel lonely and you may run back into your ex’s arms, but there’s also the possibility you may romanticize your past relationship, forget all the pain you went through, and decide to give things another go.
If you aren’t sure whether you really regret breaking up, or if it’s just a passing phase, take a look at the signs below. You might have been a little hasty, and perhaps you shouldn’t have let this person go. Either way, you’ll have your answer to the big question – did you make a mistake and now you regret breaking up, or is it just your loneliness clouding your mind? [Read: Should you text your ex? The guide to making up your mind]
Of course, in those first few days of a breakup, our minds are pretty much saturated with emotion. We obsess over every little detail that went wrong as well as reenact the breakup repeatedly.
This is perfectly normal. If weeks and months pass, and you still find your every waking moment taken up by thinking of them, then you may really want them back. If you’ve tried every way to get over the breakup and you still can’t stop thinking of them, you might be regretting breaking up with them.
Of course, this is based on the presumption that your thoughts about them are positive rather than feelings of bitterness and anger! If your ex consumes your mind 24/7 in a totally positive or romantic way, this is regret – not grief. [Read: The 7 stages of heartbreak when you become someone’s ex]
It takes some people longer than others to feel ready to move on and get back in the dating game again. However, if you feel ready to get back out there and yet don’t seem to be able to meet anyone else who sparks the remotest interest in you, your feelings for your ex are possibly still alive.
Your ex is still on your mind *and your heart* and it’s because you regret the breakup so much, you feel like you made the wrong choice. If every time you consider being with anyone else, you feel like you’re settling for second best, it might be time to give your breakup some reconsideration.
Really, if you believe nobody will ever compare to your ex, is there any bigger indicator than that that you still desire them? [Read: Round two – 10 signs you should get back with your ex]
There are some people we come across in our lives who touch us more deeply than we can ever imagine. They change us. They inspire us. They make us want to be the best we can be and become so deeply ingrained in our lives that we don’t know how to live without them.
If this sounds like you and your ex, it will be very difficult to imagine finding that same bond again, and you feel completely lost without them. Even if you broke up with them months ago, you still feel like a piece of you is missing. They feel like home and without them in your life, it’s like something is just missing.
Remember, there is a difference between this kind of feeling and just going back to someone because it is easy, familiar, and comforting. If you do that, you just fall into the same dissatisfied pattern again.
However, if you feel as though your ex completes you, and that feeling sticks around, maybe something is special between the two of you. Something worth fighting for more than anything else.
Okay, so sex isn’t everything, but relationships where you have the best sex of your life are often those with the most chemistry and desire. Couples who have been together for a long time get to know what the other person likes and how to perform their favorite moves.
Of course, it’s essential to give new partners time to get to know you in the bedroom.
But if you had other partners and nothing beats the sexual chemistry and passion you and your ex shared, it’s no wonder you regret breaking up. After all, how often do you come across someone you have sexual chemistry with, as well as other aspects? [Read: Sex with an ex – When is it okay and when should you steer clear]
Do you know that if you needed them, they’d pretty much drop everything to come to your aid? Whether it’s lugging that new wardrobe you bought up the stairs, to being your shoulder to cry on after another really stressful day in the office.
If your ex is there for you in a way no one else is, you’d probably wonder if you were too hasty when you called time on your relationship. If you both still rely on one another, it’s frankly not shocking you regret the breakup.
Your heart still screams for them, and you admittedly still need them in your life, whether you want to or not. [Read: The biggest signs that prove you’re still attached to your ex]
This is a dramatic example, but if your ex called you up and said they needed to leave the country and need you to come with them, would you go? If they were in a dangerous situation, would you rush to their aid? Would you give them your very last penny in the world? If the answer is yes, there’s your answer if you regret breaking up or not.
If you know it’s true that you’d still support them and stand by them, you might have made the wrong decision when you split up. You would drop anything and everything for them and to be with them. If the circumstance arises, you wouldn’t doubt for a second that you would do anything for them. [Read: Want to get back together? Why slow and steady is the only way forward]
Since the breakup, you haven’t felt like yourself. You know your life was at its best when you were together. Even when meeting someone new, they can’t seem to make you as happy as you were with your ex. Happiness is so important; in fact, it trumps almost everything else. If you feel that way about someone, you might want to try and get them back!
You might’ve just made the wrong decision by breaking up with the one person who makes you genuinely happy. If nobody else has made you that happy *and you’ve tried*, you should probably do something to stop feeling regret over the breakup. [Read: 16 secrets to a perfectly happy relationship]
If your stomach is always in that weird gut-wrenching knot because you know, deep down, you just want your partner back. This is your heart telling you that you made a mistake.
You regret breaking up, and you know there’s no one else to blame but yourself. You chose to end things and walk away, after all – not them. So if you feel that panic in your heart and gut, this is definitely regret that you feel and not grief. [Read: Dumper’s regret – Timeline & stages of regret of dumping someone]
You know the moment when what you feel is actual regret? It’s when you also miss the bad parts and not just the good parts. If you realize you miss everything about them, not just the good times or the things they did for you, but every single aspect of that person, it might be time to give your relationship another chance.
You regret breaking up! After all, why else would you miss their flaws and imperfections if the regret you feel isn’t real? [Read: How to win your ex back in a healthy way]
If all you think about is how you would do things differently if you had another chance, then maybe it is time to see if you can patch things up and start afresh! You only have one life, so do you really want to live it with regret for the rest of your life?
If you regret breaking up, then reverse what you did and try getting back! Even if it’s too late or not, the best thing you can do is try. You owe it to yourself and them to try. [Read: Breakup to makeup – 10 ways to give love a second chance]
The fact that you’re okay with staying friends with your ex speaks volumes if you regret breaking up. The reason why it’s not advisable to stay friends with your ex is because this only happens when one regrets the breakup and still feels something for the other.
So in this case, you’re okay staying friends because you regret everything and you want to give your relationship a second chance. Staying friends is your assurance that even if you ended things, they’re still somewhat in your life. [Read: How to be friends with an ex without any complications]
They encouraged you to become a better person, and you regret the breakup because nobody else had such a positive impact on your life.
They were the person who brought out your best side, even when you didn’t believe in yourself. You know it’s regret and not grief you feel when even if it’s been months after the breakup, they’re still the only person who can bring out your best. [Read: 12 of the most encouraging early signs of a good relationship]
You know that you regret breaking up when you strongly believe the reason for your breakup is mendable. You start to believe that you shouldn’t have broken up for such a silly reason, and you keep having those thoughts.
You know that the issue you broke up over could’ve been fixed and addressed if only you tried harder and didn’t immediately resort to a breakup. [Read: Relationship break rules – 17 rules you should follow on a break]
You can evidently see regret if it’s been a couple of months, but you haven’t let go of their belongings or memories. Whether it’s a letter, their shirt, their favorite hoodie, or something that reminds you of them, you haven’t thrown it away or hidden it out of sight.
You know it’s because it’s the only remaining memory and sentiment you have of them. You want them back, and the memories you have of them are the only things you have left. [Read: 20 best questions to ask your ex after a breakup to find closure]
Of course, you know you regret breaking up when your actions evidently show this. Maybe you communicate with them all the time, or you’re trying to change for the better for them.
But whatever you’re doing, it’s clearly showing through your actions. After all, actions do speak louder than words, and you subconsciously try to win them back all the time.
If you completely regret breaking up and still miss your ex, use this guide on how to get your ex back and convince them it’s the right thing to do and chances are, you may still be able to date them again real soon.
There’s a massive difference between regret and just missing your ex. If it’s the latter, time will pass, and your feelings and thoughts of them will fade as well. But if there’s evident regret, even if months have passed, your feelings for them never really went away. It’s still there, lingering.
Regretting a breakup feels pretty awful. If you recognize these signs, it’s time to try and win them back. What’s the harm in trying, right? You never know, perhaps, your ex might just be waiting for you to make a move.
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