When relationships are coming to an end, it can be hard to face the pressing truth of the matter. Some relationships are not meant to last forever, and that is something we all have to accept. No matter how many excuses you try to come up with to fix the relationship, it will continue to go downhill.
We tell ourselves lies and excuses to deny the fact that there’s nothing we can do to avoid the inevitability of a breakup. But we know deep down that no matter what we tell ourselves or even our partners, the looming threat of a breakup is still drawing near. All we can really do is either face it head-on or just wait until we’re tired of our own excuses.
Excuses we tell ourselves when a relationship is about to end
Here are some of the most common excuses we tell ourselves, even though we know that these excuses will do nothing to keep the relationship together.
#1 “We will get through this.” It is true that relationships face good times and bad times, but sometimes we know when the relationship is not in a good state. When you and your partner constantly argue about the littlest things and issues become hard to overcome, then the relationship is on the decline. You start to tell yourself that you two will get through it, and there is nothing wrong with having disagreements.
You have to be honest with yourself about what is really going on with the relationship. Things may not be the same or feel the same anymore, so do not try to hold onto something that is causing you both pain. There are times when the relationship is nowhere near healthy, and at a certain point, you have to stop lying to yourself and saying that you will get through it, when really, you should just let it go. [Read: 14 absolutely valid reasons to break up with someone]
#2 “This is just a phase.” We sometimes think that the relationship is just going through a hard phase, and we think nothing of it. This lie is just enough to keep us hopeful for a brighter future up ahead, when in reality, it may just be the ending phase. The breakup may just prove to you that it is best that you two go your separate ways. When the bad “phase” starts to last too long and no solutions seem to be working, just cut your losses and end it.
#3 “We love each other too much to part ways.” Love is always the number one excuse as to why people do not want to leave a toxic relationship. Honestly, love is not always enough, and you can love someone without being with them. When the relationship appears to be going downhill, we tend to tell ourselves that the love we share with our partner is too strong for us to ever part ways. Do not let love overpower the unhappy feelings the relationship is bringing you.
It is tough to realize that love cannot save your relationship. It may be in your best interests to simply love them from a distance. Love is not the super glue that can keep a relationship together, no matter how much we use the excuse that it will. You need trust, honesty, respect, and a whole host of other things that will keep a relationship healthy. Love alone won’t get you anywhere. [Read: How to stop holding on to a relationship that’s over]
#4 “There is a good reason why I am being mistreated.” Never allow yourself to withstand mistreatment. You must teach people how to treat you in order to fully get what you deserve. Stop believing in the misconception that you deserve to be treated badly because all it will do is turn you into some sort of martyr with no hope for redemption.
No one that truly loves you will use any excuse to treat you like you are nothing. And what good is staying in a relationship with someone who can’t love you enough to treat you right? [Read: 16 questions to ask yourself if you’re being taken for granted]
#5 “My partner would never cheat on me.” If you have a hunch that your significant other may be cheating, ask yourself if it’s just you being paranoid or if there are actual reasons to believe that they’re cheating on you. If it’s the latter, confront your partner about it.
When the evidence is staring you in the face, don’t allow your partner’s flowery words to sway your judgment. You can either forgive your partner and start rebuilding the trust in your relationship, or you can choose to let go of a partner who can’t respect you enough to stay faithful. [Read:
#6 “Maybe a break will help the relationship.” Sometimes, a short break is what the relationship needs to get back into a good space. But it can also show you that the break us all you need to learn that you’re better off apart. If you feel more relieved when you’re on a break than when you’re together, it’s time to turn that break into a full-on breakup. [Read: 12 undeniable reasons you’ll break up in a few months]
#7 “The communication is just a little off.” Communication is one of the key aspects that keeps a relationship healthy and thriving. But when the communication is continuously dishonest or practically non-existent, that is an indication that the relationship is in trouble.
If you have spent too much time trying to understand each other to no avail, then you need to acknowledge that there’s no point in being with someone whom you can’t even have an honest and open conversation with. [Read: 18 critical signs of an unhealthy relationship]
#8 “Hard times are necessary to make the relationship stronger.” Yes, adversity builds character and strengthens the foundation of a relationship. Additionally, it is inevitable that relationships face a few obstacles. That does not mean that troubles in a relationship are supposed to be constant and continuous.
You cannot tell yourself that a long period of hard times between you and your significant other is necessary. Quite frankly, it is not healthy, and it is time to walk away from the relationship when it becomes very tumultuous.
[Read: How to find closure with yourself after a relationship ends]
The excuses we tell ourselves may temporarily hide the problems that are lurking below the surface, but we all know that those problems will eventually wreak havoc on the relationship. When you have to resort to lies to deny the fact that your relationship is about to end, you’re just prolonging the pain of staying in an unhealthy relationship.
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