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Ignoring Your Texts On Purpose: Why People Do It & What to Do ASAP

It’s never easy when you get the cold shoulder, especially when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose. So, why are they doing this and what can you do?

ignoring texts on purpose

Have you been ghosted by someone you have a relationship with? There’s nothing worse than being ignored. But if you have sleepless nights trying to figure out why they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, stop freaking out.

We’re going to tell you some of the possible answers to the question, and also, what it means when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose. Plus, we’ll give you some tips on how to deal with that person when it happens.

What does it mean when your texts are being ignored on purpose?

In the early 2000s, texting wasn’t a thing. If you wanted to talk to someone, you’d call their phone or knock on their door. [Read: The biggest clues of people who are emotionally immature]

There was no way to avoid someone, you just had to face them. Now, fast-forward to a couple of decades, and we’re terrified to answer a phone call from our best friends. What changed?

A lot of people ignore texts on purpose. We can probably safely say we’ve all done this before, it’s not something new.

But some people just don’t feel like talking on the phone… ever. But there have to be more reasons than just that, right? We all cannot hate talking or texting.

While it’s acceptable now to take more than a few hours to respond to someone’s text, not answering someone’s texts for a day or more *especially if that was never previously the case* usually means you’re being ignored on purpose. [Read: Being left on read – What it really means when they see your text but don’t respond]

If you’re wondering why they’re ignoring your texts on purpose and all of a sudden, here are all the reasons why.

1. They’re hinting at you

If you’ve messaged them 300 times prior and now they’re ignoring your texts, well, this is a hint for you to lay off!

You could simply be too pushy for them. Now, they’re ignoring you so they can breathe. You’re suffocating them. Sorry, but, it’s true. So, take a couple of steps back and let them breathe. [Read: Double texting – What it is, how to avoid it and 15 must-follow rules]

2. They don’t want to talk to you anymore

Maybe the conversation died a couple of texts ago or maybe they’re busy. Right now, you texting them isn’t in their plan.

So, this isn’t what we would call them ignoring you, unless, they do this all the time, but maybe they simply can’t write at this very moment.

3. They’re not interested in you

If this is a person of interest and they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, they’re not interested in you. That’s really all there is to it. If they were a friend, it’s something different.

But if this is someone you flirt with or have a crush on, they’re trying to let you down easy without actually telling you what’s up. They’re immature, but take the hint and move on. [Read: How to keep your crush interested on text and avoid boring them]

4. They’re upset with you

Let’s say that your best friend is upset with you because you haven’t been seeing them much. So, what might they do? Ignore your texts on purpose.

There wasn’t anything else behind it, they simply wanted to show you that they are upset with you. Obviously, it’s an immature way to deal with the situation, but it certainly sends a clear message. [Read: When your best friend ignores you all of a sudden – The whys and the best ways to fix it ASAP]

5. They suck at texting

Some people are truly horrible with texting. Can you blame them? Their hands kill by the end of the day.

Some people are uninterested in texting. When you see them in person, they’re chatty and social but when it comes to texting, it’s like they have no personality. If they tell you they’re not much of a texter, this is why they’re slow to return your texts.

6. The conversation died

We know you want to keep talking to them especially if they’re your crush. We’re sorry to tell you, but if they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, the conversation is over.

This isn’t a bad thing, but know when to stop talking and give some space in between conversations. They can’t last forever. And if you’re just sending emojis with no relevant text, we don’t blame them for ignoring you. [Read: Texting anxiety – how to send and receive texts without freaking out]

How to deal when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose

Who likes being ghosted via text message? Trust us, we can honestly say no one.

Now, if you’re wondering how to deal with it, you probably wouldn’t handle it very well. You might even be a mess. But, if you know how to deal with this situation, you’ll be able to come out of it as a better person.

1. Don’t text them right now

We know you want to get to the bottom of things and find out what’s going on, but for now, give them space. When we’re anxious about losing someone, we flood them with attention in hopes of getting them back but it’s not going to work.

If anything, it makes you look desperate and clingy. Then, they freak out even more. Instead, take a step back and play it cool. [Read: How to know when to stop texting a guy and learn to move on]

2. Send a text after a couple of days

If they haven’t texted you in a couple of days, you can send them a text.

But wait a couple of days, give them space. When you text them, see what they’re up to and try to feel out their replies. Are their answers short? Engaging? See how they’re feeling about you.

3. Don’t attack them

With words, that is. When someone’s ignoring texts on purpose, don’t send them angry text messages, it’s not worth it. If you really want to know how they’re feeling, then ask them. But, it’s best if you just move on.

If someone doesn’t want to talk to you, why push it? If they could ignore your texts on purpose, would they really take the time to type out several paragraphs of text and explain themselves?

Leave them, there are other people that would love to talk to you and not treat you like shit in the process. [Read: How to respond like a mature grownup when someone ignores you on purpose]

4. Examine your own actions 

We can’t tell you that you did nothing wrong, because we actually have no idea what you did. This is when you need to be upfront with yourself and honest with your actions. Did you text them too much? Were you pushy?

If you’re not sure, ask a close friend for their honest opinion. They’ll let you know, and that way, you can change the way you communicate via text. [Read: Am I texting too much? 16 signs they think you’re a clingy texter]

5. Don’t sit and wait for them

Odds are, this isn’t going to work out with them. If they’re ignoring texts on purpose, there’s a reason why and it’s not in your favor. What you need to do is move on.

Don’t wait for them to write to you because they won’t or at least not now. So, go and live your life, please. [Read: The essential tools you need to forget someone fast and move on]

6. Don’t make this public

You may be upset, but don’t make a Facebook post about it. People don’t like drama, and if this is a crush, well, you’ll kill any chance of ever being with them if you do this.

We know you’re heated and upset, but don’t do anything in this emotional state.

Texts you can send when someone is ignoring you

If someone is ignoring your texts on purpose, you might feel like this silent treatment came out of nowhere. Or maybe you know that there was a specific event that triggered it. Either way, you should try to figure out the reason it’s happening.

So, in order to help you figure out what to do, here are some sample texts you can send to the person who is ignoring you on purpose.

1. Are you okay?

If you don’t know why they are ignoring your texts, then you should simply ask if they are alright. Depending on how well you know them, you can try to reach out any way you can.

If you prefer, you could even send an email or call them on the phone. But you need to be prepared for the fact that they might not respond to you. So, try to have empathy and just convey the fact that you are concerned about their wellbeing. [Read: How to show empathy and learn to understand someone else’s feelings]

2. I’m here for you

Maybe you had a fight with this person, and that’s why they are giving you the cold shoulder. If that’s the case, it could be that they are just trying to distance themselves to figure out what to say to you.

Some people aren’t good at communication, and so they don’t deal with fights very well. If you think that is why they are ignoring your texts on purpose, then you should just give them the space they probably need.

But still, convey that you are there for them and are willing to listen when they feel like the time is right. Try to tell them this in a caring way. [Read: The psychology of ignoring someone – Why we do it and the best ways to fix it]

3. I’m sad that we’re not talking right now

If you don’t know why they are ignoring you, then you can express that you are feeling bad that there is a distance in your relationship. Show them that it’s disappointing and you are bothered by it.

When you say this, you definitely don’t want to sound like you are trying to manipulate them or the situation. Just tell them how much you value them as a person and the relationship as a whole. Tell them that their disappearance has affected you deeply.

4. Do you want to talk about things?

You might be very close and think you know what’s running through their minds, but you don’t. You’re not a mind reader.

Something might be going on with them that may not even be related to you for all you know. You simply don’t know, so making assumptions that everything is about you isn’t a good thing to do.

If you send this text, then you need to be mentally and emotionally prepared for what they say, even if it’s upsetting or causes a disagreement between the two of you. Hopefully, it has nothing to do with you, but it could.

They might just need space and not feel like telling you why. That’s difficult to deal with, but you still have to respect their wishes – at least for a while. So, if they are ignoring your texts on purpose, just take this time to process your own emotions, and don’t berate them for wanting to keep to themselves at the moment. [Read: Intentionally hurting someone you love – Why we do it and how to stop]

5. You won’t believe what just happened!

When people withdraw from a relationship, sometimes, they are dealing with their own emotions like guilt or a sense of not being worthy. So, you can send them a text that just tells them something interesting that happened in your life.

You could even send them a funny meme to get a conversation – any conversation – rolling. If they respond, then you can eventually direct the discussion toward what is bothering them.

6. I’m really sorry

It’s not unusual for people to have some silence after they had a fight with each other. If they’re ignoring your texts on purpose, and the problem wasn’t worked out, one or both of the people will distance themselves to get some perspective on what just happened.

So, during this cooling-off period, you could simply acknowledge that you did something wrong *if you did*. Take personal responsibility for your role in the situation and be honest about it. [Read: How to apologize for ghosting a friend and undo the damage you have done]

You can say you’re sorry and ask when they might be ready to talk to you. If you have hurt them deeply and they say they don’t want to talk to you, then you will just have to honor that and give them the space they are requesting.

7. I’ll give you space

When people are silent and ignoring your texts on purpose, then this is a sign that they are drawing a boundary to process what they are feeling. It’s not easy on you, but it could be good for them – and helpful. So, if you simply let them know that you will give them their space, they will probably appreciate it.

Try not to express your anger or disappointment because this could further hurt the relationship. Also, don’t give them the cold shoulder back or be too aggressive because this will make things worse. Just be calm, rational, and loving. [Read: How to know when to give someone space – don’t be THAT person]

Final tips

Now that you know what you can say to a person who is ignoring your texts on purpose, just give it time. Once you come through this period, then you should sit down and talk about how you both can communicate better from now on.

If you don’t think you can get to this point, or if this turns out to be a consistent pattern, then you might have to re-evaluate whether or not you think this relationship is working for you.

It could be that they like the drama, and if that is not how you operate, then maybe you two are just not compatible. [Read: 25 mean signs of a fake friend who doesn’t care about you at all]

[Read: The raw psychological effects of being ignored by someone you love]

No one likes being ignored. But listen, if you’re wondering what does it mean when someone’s ignoring texts on purpose, think about why you’d do the same thing to someone else.

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Preeti Tewari Serai
Preeti Serai
Preeti, the founder of LovePanky, is an eternal optimist and believer in the beauty of love and life. With an exhaustive experience in love, relationships, and ...