It seems like everyone is tired of ghosting. But what to do you when someone’s ghosting you? Call ghostbusters or do some ghostbusting?
I’m sorry, I just had to use that pun, it was just too good to let go. Unfortunately, there isn’t a ghostbusting service that you can call who will do the work for you, if there was, it would be a multi-million-dollar company because people are sick and tired of ghosting.
Now, you may be wondering if someone is ghosting you in the first place. Well, it’s pretty easy to figure it out. Are they ignoring your calls and texts? Are they avoiding seeing you in person? Is it like they just disappeared? Well, let me tell you one thing, they’re alive and well. [Read: What is ghosting exactly?]
The good thing is that people are fed up with being ghosted, and they want to call their ghosters out. I’m all for this as I was once ghosted pretty harshly. When I mean harshly, I mean, the guy I liked told me that he was coming to see me and never got on his flight. Ouch is right. Did I just lean back and play it cool? No, I went full psycho bitch.
But there are better ways to handle this than freaking out at them. It’s time to introduce you to some ghostbusting strategies for when you must deal with a ghoster. That way, you make them reply to you and let them know that you’re not into playing games.
But there’s a right and wrong way to go about ghostbusting.
#1 Don’t freak out. I know you’re emotional right now because this actually hurts. When someone we’re interested in ghosts us, of course, it’s going to hurt our feelings. We’re not robots, we’re humans. You just need to understand that this person is a complete pussy, first of all. Secondly, freaking out at them will only cause you more grief than needed. [Read: Why do guys ghost? 15 reasons why guys turn into cowardly pricks]
#2 Do follow your gut instinct. You know, deep, deep down, when someone is trying to avoid you. You can literally feel it when you read their one-word texts or see the “seen” on their message.
In some cases, they may have forgotten to reply, etc, but in most cases whatever you’re feeling is right. If you thought in your head are they ghosting me? Then the answer is yes. [Read: How to listen to your gut and inner voice]
#3 Do send them a light-hearted text. If you try to text them, don’t hit them with some heavy and depressing message. Keep it light. If they’re ghosting you, the odds are that they’ll reply to a light and open message rather than one filled with anger. Keep the text message light, positive, and relaxed.
#4 Don’t jump to conclusions. Listen, people live their lives. Though everyone thinks people are glued to their phones, not everyone is nor is everyone addicted to texting. So, some people can go a day or two without their phones, and they’re fine. This also means they’re not going to be texting you often.
So, before assuming that they’re ghosting you, see what’s going on. Do they work a job where they can’t have their phone on them? Are they just not into texting?
#5 Don’t send them text after text. Listen, they’re ghosting you. So, sending them text after text only makes you look like you’re desperate for them. Instead, don’t text them. Of course, if you haven’t texted them at all, you can send a text, but I’m pretty sure you’ve texted them already… probably a couple of times. [Read: Double texting and second text rules – 6 ways to play it cool]
#6 Do give them time to reply. Like I said before, people are busy living their lives. Not everyone can reply two minutes after you send a text. So, give them time to reply to you. Of course, if it’s two days later, that’s bullshit, but if it’s a couple hours later, that’s okay. Don’t text them until they text you back.
#7 Do play a little hard to get. If you feel like they’re ghosting you, most likely they became uninterested with you. This could be due to the fact that you’re too available. So, let’s switch it up and bit and play hard to get. Send them a text but don’t reply right away after, switch the power into your hands. [Read: How to make playing hard to get work for you]
#8 Do show off your sense of humor. People like talking to people that make them laugh. I mean, why do we watch comedies? We want to laugh and have a good time. Send a meme, send a GIF, make a joke about something on social media. Whatever it is that you do, send something that’ll start a light and funny conversation.
#9 Don’t write a “why are you ghosting me” text. When I say this, I mean, don’t send this person a giant text about them ghosting you.
Firstly, they’re not going to read all of it, and if they do, they’ll send it to someone. For them, it’s going to be funny. If this person is truly ghosting you, they don’t really care about you, that’s what you need to know. Sending them an emotional essay about your feelings or that you feel ignored won’t make a difference. You need to show them you’re not to be messed with, that you’re a challenge. [Read: 17 signs you’re “benched” and being strung along right now]
#10 Do be cheeky. You may be nervous to show a little attitude, but why should you be nervous? You have nothing to lose. If they’re genuinely ghosting you, you can show them a little bit of sassy attitude. It’ll certainly spark up a flirty conversation, all you need to do is make sure you don’t sound condescending or bitchy.
#11 Don’t send passive-aggressive texts. Come on people, it’s the 21st century. What happened to everyone being open and honest? Do not be one of those people that feed off of passive-aggressive behavior. If you’re not happy with how they reply or the lack of reply, then just be open and honest with them. There’s no need to be angry or passive-aggressive.
#12 Do end the conversation first. I know you want to talk to them forever, but you’ll need to end the conversation first. Listen to my plan first before you freak out, it’ll all make sense.
For them, they’re used to you continuing the conversation after it died twenty texts ago. Instead, cut the conversation first. That way, you show them that you’re not too available, and secondly, you’re controlling the conversation now. [Read: 15 sneaky ways to make a man chase you and fall real hard]
#13 Do be confident. They’re ghosting you, but you’re no wussy. Nuh-uh, it’s time to text them back with some confidence in your sentences. If you give the impression that they can walk all over you, they will without a problem. You need to show them that you’re worth more than that.
#14 Do realize that if they’re ghosting you, they don’t care about you. If someone is busy at work and can’t answer, that’s different. But if they’re actively ignoring your texts day-after-day, well, it’s clear that they don’t give a shit about you. You need to realize that and accept it because it’s not going to change in the near future. [Read: The unassuming signs you’re dating a jerk]
#15 Do know when to call it quits. Listen, you’ve done everything you could to get them to text you back. But at some point, you must realize that they don’t want to talk to you. Now, if they reply and things are going well, that’s great.
But there’s always a chance that they won’t change even with this new strategy. If that’s the case, call it quits. Let them come to you.