You can’t seem to get your crush out of your head, and you’ve liked them for months. Is this normal? How long does a crush last and can you move on faster?
If you’re wondering, how long does a crush last, you’re in good company. When I was in high school, I had a crush on a drummer for four years. Yes, four years. I couldn’t get over him. I thought he was amazing, I wanted him to be with me so badly. Obviously, that never happened.
But I remember spending hours, thinking to myself, how long can I like someone? When is it going to end? If you’re crushing on someone you’re probably thinking the same thing. You realize that nothing is going to happen, at least not now, and you need to get over them.
Listen, having feelings for someone is completely normal and healthy. Plus, having a crush is fun, let’s face it. Even though it can end with a broken heart, the drama that leads up to it is exciting and thrilling. But what is too long to have a crush? In reality, according to psychologists, a typical crush usually lasts for four months. If the feeling persists, what you feel is what we like to call, “being in love.”
But before we start freaking out, let’s get real. Science is one thing, but it can’t measure someone’s feelings and make it a statistic. We’re all different. Whether your crush is for four months or three years, that’s okay. Now, if you want to get over your crush, here’s what you need to do.
How to get over your crush as soon as you possibly can
It’s called a crush for a reason. Cue the violin.
#1 Why do you like them? But actually, why do you like this person? What is it about them that drives you wild? You probably haven’t thought about this seriously. But you need to look at why you actually like them. Plus, how do you feel when you’re around them? Since they’re a crush, you’re probably not acting yourself which is a sign that you’re fantasizing about someone who’s not for you. [Read: Feeling lost in life? How to find yourself again]
#2 Treat it like a breakup. I know, you didn’t date them, we all know you didn’t date them. But, in order to move on, you need to treat this as a breakup. Get into bed, watch some chick flicks, start crying, and get it all out.
It’s okay to allow yourself to be sad regardless if you dated this person or not. You invested emotionally into them, so why not take the time in grieving over your crush. [Read: How to say goodbye to the might-have-beens]
#3 It’s all about distance. See, I like to think that I couldn’t get over my crush because he was in all my classes. I mean, how can you keep distance from someone who always is around you? I get it. But you’re going to have to try to create some distance between you and your crush.
#4 Don’t stalk them on social media. Nothing will work if you’re drooling over their photos all day. You need a break, remember? This also means from social media. If you can unfollow them, do it. If you can delete them, do it. But really, you need to do it. I know, it’s hard, but once they’re off your social media, it’s crazy how fast you forget about them.
#5 Don’t ask about them. You probably have mutual friends and that’s where you get your information. But for your sake, stop asking about your crush. Trust me, I know it’s going to be hard. But, remove them from your daily life which includes talking about them with other people. Tell your friends not to update you about your crush, that way, the information can’t fuel your feelings.
#6 Get honest with yourself. They’re a crush for a reason. You were never going to be with them. Think about the other crushes you had and how you got over them. You’ll get over this one as well. In the moment, we get all wrapped up with emotion, but at the end of the day, we all know the truth. If you made a move and were rejected, that’s okay. You did what you could and now, it’s time to move on. [Read: 14 ways to get over someone you never dated and free your mind]
#7 This will take time. Now, if this person goes to school with you or is a coworker, expect this to take longer. You can’t rush your feelings. And while you’re trying to get over them, you’re going to feel like shit. I can’t lie about that. You’re going to feel rejected and broken, but this is just the process. It’s better than living in a fantasy.
So, give yourself as much time as you need to get over your crush. The day will come when you stop thinking about them.
#8 Meet new people. This doesn’t mean you should jump to another crush. Getting over someone doesn’t work when you simply move on to someone else. If anything, that’s just the easy way out. What you need to do is meet new people around you with a positive influence. It would be even better if these people didn’t know your crush. That way, you can’t talk about them. [Read: 16 easy ways to meet new people and find your crowd]
#9 Get busy. Treat this as a breakup. With that being said, if you were breaking up with someone, I would suggest that you fill your time with things you enjoy doing.
Try to stay away from your phone because that only leads you to obsessive creeping. I am notorious for that, so I know what it’s like. Do things that you want to do, spend time with other people, literally do anything to distract yourself. [Read: 20 reasons why someone may never like you back]
#10 Flirt with someone else. Okay, this isn’t my first suggestion, but flirting always helps. This doesn’t mean you need to find someone else to obsess over, but casually flirting with other people is a nice reminder that there are other people out there. It’s an ego boost. It’s just light, innocent flirting…