Home  >  Love Couch  >  Better Love

Unlucky in Love? How to Turn Things Around and Get Lucky Instead

You’ve swiped everyone there is on Tinder, gone on blind dates, but the pickings just keep getting slimmer and slimmer. Maybe you’re unlucky in love?

Unlucky in Love

Trust me, if you think you’re unlucky in love, you haven’t met me. I have encountered literally every guy out there and realized I should just own a couple dogs instead. They’re easier. But, really, your dating experiences probably made you lose hope in finding someone you want to be with.

Shitty and disappointing dates always leave a bad taste in your mouth, but you should know something—you’re not unlucky in love.

The essentials if you feel unlucky in love

Really! Believe me! Yeah, you’ve kissed 1000 frogs, but you’ll meet someone in time. What you really need to do, instead of thinking you’re unlucky in love, is to change your mindset. That’s going to be the hardest part, but, when you change the way you think, you attract a completely different type of person.

Trust me, you’re not unlucky.

#1 Stop pitying yourself. This is the biggest problem many people have when they feel they’re unlucky in love. They think they’re meant to be alone and will die without anyone by their side.

And for sure, you can have these momentary feelings. However, overcome them and keep moving forward. It’s feelings like these that prevent you from finding someone because you feel that you’re not worthy of love. [Read: Why do I feel so alone? The answers that can change your life]

#2 Don’t try so hard. So, this may be hard for some of you, but stop trying so hard. Sure, go on dating sites and talk to people, but don’t push too hard.

If they want to meet you, they’ll meet you. If they don’t, then move on. That’s the best way of being in the dating world. Don’t try too hard and don’t take it so seriously. People smell desperation a mile away.

#3 Hold no expectations. You have a list of traits that you want your partner to have and that’s fine. But don’t expect them to also be millionaires with Porsches. That’s not what this is about.

If you have too many expectations, well, you’re going to be disappointed. The person you’re on a date with isn’t going to ask you to marry them right now. Expect nothing and you’ll always be pleasantly surprised. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]

#4 Don’t call him. If you’re a guy, skip this one. But if you’re a woman, listen up. You need to understand one thing, if a guy wants you, he chases you. I know, nowadays it’s cool for a girl to call a guy, but at the end of the day, men love to chase. Let them have that chance to chase you, unless he’s extremely shy. [Read: Why men like a chase, and how to use this to your advantage]

#5 Stop crying over them. If you spend your weekends crying over a date that went bad, oh trust me, you waste your time. Shed no tears for no one, unless of course, you were actually in a relationship. Crying over someone isn’t going to get you anywhere. You need to brush the failed dates off your shoulder and go onto the next.

#6 Keep some mystery. I’ve sat through some dates where the guy told me his whole family background in less than five minutes. Honestly, it was a little much. I mean, he wiped away any inch of mystery he had to him.

Keep yourself a little mysterious, that’s what keeps people’s attention. You know, everyone wants to get to know someone who looks like they have a secret. [Read: The art of being mysterious without being too distant]

#7 Stop blaming it on men/women. I hear it all the time from both men and women. They complain about each other saying how shitty men and women are. But it’s not them. It’s you. This is all on you.

Why? Because you keep going for the wrong person. You go for people who don’t actually want to be with you and that’s what creates this vicious cycle of disappointment. [Read: Why are you still dating the wrong person?]

#8 Stop going after the wrong girl/guy. You have this image of the perfect partner in your mind, I get it. But what usually happens is that while you hunt for that person, you miss out on all the other great people that are available.

You don’t have to end up with your dream partner and honestly, even if you did, I’m not sure how much you’d like it. You never find someone who matches your list of requirements completely.

#9 Be yourself. Maybe you’re not finding the right person because you try to be someone you’re not. Maybe you want to find a hipster-type guy/girl but that’s not your style. You don’t have to be a hipster in order to attract one. Just be yourself. [Read: What men find attractive in women – 18 secrets most women overlook]

#10 Take a chance. You need to take chances. I know you probably think that you’re not sure about this person, but why not give it a chance? You may surprise yourself with how well it goes. The point is, don’t be so quick to knock something down if you haven’t given it a proper go. [Read: 23 hacks to be a lot more attractive to women instantly]

#11 Let go. If you had a bad date, let it go. They aren’t worth holding on to for all the negative energy. If you try to change your ways but you still keep meeting losers, it’s okay. You need time to work on yourself. Letting go will make dating fun.

[Read: The surprising secrets to start getting lucky in love]

If you thought you were unlucky in love, think again. You just need to follow these rules and you’ll be on a new path for successfully finding love.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life. And while you’re at it, check out MIRL, a cool new social networking app that connects experts and seekers!

Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer, and the creator and author of her short stories on TheLonelySerb. She completed her first degr...
Follow Natasha on