Home  >  Love Couch  >  Better Love

Female-Led Relationship: How It Works & 21 Pros When Ladies Lead Love

Relationships can have a lot of different power dynamics between genders. But here are some good reasons why you want to be in a female-led relationship.

female-led relationship

Since the beginning of time, men have always sought to be on top. There is something about being an Alpha male that satiates their male-ego-bullshit. But what about a female-led relationship? 

History proves that women of all ages and origins were taken seriously and heralded as equal to men. Cleopatra, Empress Wu Zetian, and Elizabeth I are just a few examples of women who held unparalleled positions of power.

In today’s day and age, there are many more women who lead not just households, but entire nations. From the single mother who lives across the street to Kamala Harris, women are quickly proving to men that they can handle just as much, if not more, than them.

Female-led relationship dynamic

In a traditional gender role relationship, the man has more power. That is mostly because the world is still filled with patriarchal societies *where men are the dominant ones*. But in a female-lead relationship dynamic, the power roles are switched.

The power in a female-led relationship lies with the woman. That is usually because, in these types of relationships, the man is what’s called a beta male.

When we think of a “manly man” or a “caveman,” we usually think of an alpha male. They are the type to rise to the top of the “wolf pack” and have to be in charge all the time.

But in the female-led relationship, you don’t have that dynamic. The beta male either shares the power with the woman or lets her have the power all to herself. [Read: Dominant woman – The pros and cons of dating a woman in control]

Benefits of a beta male

As we just said, in a female-led relationship, the men are what we call “beta males.” But what exactly is a beta male? And why are they good to be in a relationship with?

Here are some common characteristics of them so you can see how they play a part in a female-led relationship.

1. They are secure

Beta males know who they are as a person, and they don’t wish to be anyone else. That’s refreshing, isn’t it?

On the contrary, alpha males are always competitive and trying to outdo other males to make themselves look better. But beta males don’t have that need.

Just because he’s secure doesn’t mean he doesn’t have insecurities. It’s just that he doesn’t feel the need to hide them under a macho facade. He knows that there’s no point in competing with other men because we’re all unique individuals. [Read: What to look for in a guy – 40 things that make a man worth dating]

2. They respect you and everyone

These kinds of men don’t think they are better than you – or anyone else. They treat everyone with respect and kindness. The alpha male might treat people like they are his servants, but a beta male would never do that.

Beta males live by the Golden Rule – treat others as you want to be treated. So, that’s why he treats women with respect and love.

3. They are not controlling

There is no need for beta males to get into a power struggle with you or anyone else. They will see their partner as their equal, not someone who needs to be dominated. They might be okay being dominated themselves, but they will not do it to you.

Ultimately, they just want the woman to be herself. There’s no need for competition or any kind of toxic energy for them. [Read: 23 subtle signs of a controlling boyfriend most girls don’t notice]

4. They make good fathers

Because they are more loving and respectful, they make really good role models for their children – both boys and girls. They tend to live with integrity and instill deep values in their sons and daughters.

5. They care about their lovers’ pleasure in bed

The alpha male is very dominant in bed. He might throw you around, ravage your body, and have his way with you. He thinks this is what you want… but do you really? It doesn’t matter because he probably won’t care.

On the other hand, the beta male cares about his lover’s pleasure. He goes more slowly and takes the time to ask you about how you’re feeling every step of the way. What makes you happy? And what feels good? That’s what makes them good lovers. [Read: Sigma male – 17 traits that separate you from a beta or an alpha]

6. They don’t have big egos

Alpha males might be used to getting compliments from anything from their looks to their charisma. But beta males spend their lives interested in other things – not just themselves. In other words, they are less selfish.

He probably has more hobbies and other leisure activities that he enjoys. He is more well-rounded. He could like cooking, writing, painting, or wine tasting.

7. They appreciate things more

While he’s not good at his attention to detail, that means that he doesn’t obsess over the little things in life. They are more “big picture” guys. So, they take the time to appreciate a lot more than an alpha male might. [Read: The omega male – 15 traits that make him better than the alpha male]

He will be more likely to leave you little love notes all around the house or to send gifts to your office. The beta male enjoys making his woman happy and shows that he doesn’t take her for granted.

8. They aren’t afraid of commitment

There is a stereotype of a man being afraid of commitment. But that stereotype is derived from an alpha male perspective, not a beta one. So, these types of men actually enjoy being committed to a woman. They really want to find “the one” and start a life with her.

The reason for this is that they value personal moments in life. They even want to settle down early in life if possible so they can have more memories they create with you.

9. They communicate pretty well

Beta males tend to be more in touch with their feelings than alpha males. They know the importance of working through conflicts effectively because he wants you to be happy – and for the both of you to have a great relationship. He is also ready to listen to you when you need him. [Read: How to get a man to communicate with you and open up]

10. They remember important dates

The stereotypical alpha male forgets things like birthdays and anniversaries. But the beta males won’t! Even if you tell him it’s no big deal if he remembers… he still will.

They remember because you are important to them, and so are the special dates. You will always have a good time on Valentine’s Day and any other holiday of your choice.

Wearing the metaphorical pants in a female-led relationship

When it comes to relationships, letting the woman wear the pants is still a relatively taboo topic. Men may be willing to give up their seat in the boardroom, but they’re not as willing to give up their seat at the head of the table. 

However, times are changing and men around the world are starting to understand that letting their lady be in charge may not be such a bad thing. [Read: 30 Alpha male characteristics that make you a real alpha]

Establishing a solid hierarchy in a relationship is just as important as establishing one in a company. It is up to each couple to decide just how much power gets distributed amongst one another. 

It could range from letting the female handle certain aspects of the relationship, such as giving her full control in the bedroom, to the other end of the spectrum, where she has complete control over the entire partnership.

In any case, here are some reasons why a female-led relationship is simply awesome.

1. Full awareness

Women are fully aware of everything that’s happening. From knowing exactly when the cookies in the oven are done to figuring out what’s bothering you, women are mindful of their surroundings and will do their best to ensure smooth sailing. [Read: Controlling women – Can a man have a happy relationship with one?]

2. Multi-tasking abilities

There is no denying that a woman can juggle a full-time job, keep the kids alive, ensure that the home is in order, and still keep the spark alive in the bedroom.

For men, it’s a pick-one-and-deal-with-it scenario. Who wants that, when they can have it all?

3. Organized and efficient

Both the man and woman might have a full-time job. The difference between him and her could be that, despite working long hours, she’s still able to stay organized and efficient both at home and at my desk. 

From making dinner reservations to keeping track of anniversaries, birthdays, Thanksgiving, and other important dates, she might do it all.

Maybe the thought of letting him do it all never crossed her mind. She might not doubt his ability to do it; she doubts his ability to do it well. [Read: 8 relationship dates men should never, ever forget!]

4. Not afraid to ask for help

From asking for directions to signing up for marriage counseling, women don’t have the ego that men have. If there’s something wrong or if they can’t do something, they won’t hesitate to ask for help.

Men usually retreat into their man caves and hope that the problem goes away, which obviously doesn’t solve anything.

5. Better communication

Couples in female-led relationships express themselves better than others, giving them a higher chance of maintaining a happy and healthy relationship. 

This is because they understand that expressing themselves and indulging in fluid communication is more important than engaging in a mindless shouting match—or worse, giving one another the silent treatment. [Read: 21 real reasons why so many couples drift apart over time]

6. There is no reading between the lines

Some may call this being bossy, but we call this taking control. When you take the guesswork out of everyday situations, things will run smoothly and efficiently. 

For example, instead of hinting for the male to pick up his socks, the female lead will simply tell him to do it and it gets done.

Of course, the female has to learn not to abuse her power, because the goal is for both parties to have a happy relationship.

7. Being equal

In a female-led relationship, the man doesn’t hold all the power, even if he earns more money than his lady. There is a good distribution of power that both parties can appreciate—and this is gender equality at its finest.

8. Less pressure

Once the female takes charge, there is less pressure on the male. The male doesn’t have to worry about much else, aside from making his lady love happy. [Read: 27 signs and qualities of a healthy relationship that keep couples happy and in love]

As mentioned above, women handle multitasking a lot better than men, and it is this ability to juggle many things at once that will help the relationship thrive and take the pressure off both parties.

9. Higher sense of satisfaction

When things run smoothly, there is no doubt that both parties will feel a higher sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. No one likes it when things are in shambles, and in most female-led relationships, there is no need to worry about things getting out of hand. 

Women seem to have a higher sense of responsibility when taking charge of the kids and household, and there is no doubt that she will do an excellent job running the relationship, too.

10. Improved sex life

You will be surprised at how many men yearn to be the submissive one, especially in the bedroom. In a female-led relationship, there is no doubt that the woman will take on the domineering role. 

This, in turn, will spice up the couple’s sex life, resulting in a happier and more satisfying relationship. [Read: What feminists want to hate in bed, but totally love!]

11. Good learning experience

Whether you opt to try out a female-led relationship for a little while, or completely change the dynamics of your relationship for good, there is no doubt that both of you will learn something from the experience. 

Switching roles will give both parties the chance to appreciate and understand what the other usually has to deal with and this, in turn, will encourage togetherness.

[Read: 20 things happy couples never do in a perfect relationship]

Like everything else, there are bound to be challenges in a female-led relationship. Examples include dissatisfaction and the customary power struggle. However, there is no reason why you can’t work through them and emerge stronger than ever as a couple.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

LovePanky icon
Team LovePanky
The editorial team of LovePanky comprises relationship experts and real-life experts that share their experiences and life lessons. If you want the best love ad...