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Am I Ready for a Relationship? Questions to Ask Yourself

Am I ready for a relationship? When you’ve been badly hurt it can take years to move on. Here’s what you should ask before diving back into a relationship.

am i ready for a relationship

There are a lot of people out there who’ve been badly hurt by an ex-lover. They put their heart out on the line, and unfortunately, they got burned. I think we’ve all been there before. I personally relate to this on a couple different levels. It left me wondering, am I ready for a relationship again?
The hardest thing for these whose heart has been stomped on is getting back into a relationship. We’re all hesitant and reluctant to do so because we don’t want to be hurt again—for obvious reasons.
The importance of mending a broken heart before getting into a relationship
You should never go into a new relationship with a broken heart. It may seem like the new person can heal it for you. In reality, you only prolong mending it, which actually means it’ll take longer to fix.
Mending your broken heart should always be a priority before going into a new relationship because you can’t expect your new boyfriend or girlfriend to fix it. That’s way too much pressure on them, and you’ll ultimately ruin the relationship from the start.
Am I ready for a relationship?
Before you decide the answer to this question, discover a few things about yourself first. It can be easy to jump to a different conclusion based on how you’re feeling in the moment. Take some time to decide if it’s right for you.
If you’re thinking about whether or not you’re ready for a relationship, there are a lot of different factors you have to consider. Here are all the things to discover for yourself before determining if you’re ready to make another commitment.
#1 Are you over your ex? This question hits a lot of us like a ton of bricks because, usually, we try not to think about our exes at all. We prefer to keep our feelings for them buried deep inside.
However, if you really want to know if you’re ready for a relationship, explore if you’re over your ex. You can’t start a new relationship on the basis of having feelings for your ex. [Read: How to let go of someone you love: Rationalize and reason]
#2 Are you just bored? A lot of people make the mistake of thinking they want a relationship when really they’re just super bored with their life and want some entertainment.
Newsflash, another human being isn’t for your entertainment. You have to find out if you’re bored with your life and that’s why you’re thinking about seeking out another relationship. If you’re just bored, don’t get into a relationship.
#3 Do you do things for yourself? A lot of people might think this question to be a strange one to ask yourself but it’s not if you think about it. How much do you do for yourself?
Do you take care of yourself, eat healthy, workout, have a stimulating hobby, read books? If the answer to those is no, then you’re not ready for a relationship. How can you work to improve the life of someone else when you haven’t even done so with yourself?
#4 Do you know what went wrong in your last relationship? Discovering the core problem in your last relationship and where things went south helps determine if you’re ready for a new relationship. If you don’t know what it is, you need more time to figure it out to avoid those issues in your future relationships. [Read: Self-discovery after a breakup: How to happily move on]
#5 Do you have any fun hobbies? Hobbies are vital for people to function and be happy. If you’ve just determined you don’t really have any hobbies that make you feel alive, you’re not ready for a relationship. You need to have something that involves you and catches your interest before trying to seek that out in another person.
#6 Did you learn anything from your last relationship? Every failed relationship has a lesson underneath the surface. Sometimes those lessons are all the same thing. You have to discover what you learned from your previous relationship before entering into a new one.
#7 Are you happy by yourself? Are you happy with your life and with who you are right in this moment? If you answered no, then you’re not ready for a relationship. You have to be happy by yourself before you can expect to find happiness with someone else. [Read: How to stop loving someone else… And love yourself more]
#8 Are you looking for someone to make you happy? Is your whole purpose for deciding if you’re ready for a new relationship to cheer yourself up or just to make yourself happy in general?
If so, then you are REALLY not ready for a relationship. Being in a relationship isn’t for the purpose of making you happy. If you think it is, you have a long way to go before you’re ready.
#9 Did something dramatic just happen in your life? Sometimes when something dramatic happens in our lives we reevaluate things and make drastic decisions.
If something rather serious happened to you lately, you’re not ready for a new relationship. If one dramatic thing happened, it’s likely more will soon follow. It also means you’re not in a clear mindset because those types of things sometimes rattle us. Wait it out.
#10 Do you know who you are? I realize this is a heavily weighted question, but it is a necessary one to decipher whether or not you’re ready for a relationship. Truthfully speaking, do you know who you are as a person? Do you know what you want in life? What your morals and values are?
These are all vital things to know about yourself before beginning a life with someone else. Without knowing these, you can’t expect that someone else will be able to know them either. [Read: Don’t stay stuck: 16 strategies to get your shit together]
#11 Do you know why you want a relationship? Have you sat down and asked yourself what your recent curiosity is with whether or not you’re ready for a new relationship?
If you haven’t yet, just ponder that. Is it because it’s expected of you? Is it because you now feel complete in your own life, and you want to share it with someone? Depending on the answer, you could be ready for a relationship. [Read: Commitment phobia: 15 signs you’re just not ready to commit]
#12 Do you have time to invest in a relationship? Relationships are no joke and they take time in order to make them work properly. Too many relationships go bad because one person didn’t have the time needed to invest in a relationship.
Do you have the time? If you’re someone that’s always on the go, how can you expect to make a relationship work out in a healthy way? Decide if you’re ready to spend a lot of your free time with someone else before deciding if you’re actually ready for a relationship.
[Read: 9 signs you’re finally ready for a new relationship]
Determining whether or not you’re ready for a relationship is one of the most important things you decide about yourself. With our help, you’ll be able to know for sure what you’re ready for.

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Bella Pope LovePanky
Annabel Rodgers
Annabel is a lifestyle writer, cheese enthusiast (Wisconsin native over here) and fantasy adventure author-in-progress who enjoys all things love, dog,...