The 4 Relationship Bases of Making Out and 9 Must-Know Metaphors

If you’re new to the dating world, you may or may not have heard about the relationship bases. Well, it’s about time you got into the loop.

Relationship Bases

If you have never had a boyfriend/girlfriend before, then, of course, the “bases” is just a myth that’s been floating around school. But relationship bases are very much real. I’m not sure why we use baseball metaphors for sex but we do.

Basically, they’re the levels of sexual intimacy you’ve experienced with your partner. Don’t freak out, it’s not as scary as you think, nor does reaching one of the “bases” make you more or less of a person.

The four relationship bases

When you’re talking to your partner it’s a lot easier to describe your level of sexual experience by using bases. You should know there is no official definition for what each base represents. But funny enough, people seem to understand what each base represents without any official stamp of approval.

Here’s everything you need to know about relationship bases and the baseball metaphors for sex.

#1 First base. Ah yes, this is possibly my favorite base. It’s harmless, sweet, and full of emotion. First base is kissing *including French kissing*, maybe some fingers through the hair, but nothing really extreme.

Think of first base as what you would do on a first or second date. It’s more like testing the waters with a little fun kissing session. [Read: The perfect first kiss – 22 tips to make it oh-so-amazing!]

#2 Second base. Now, second base is kissing, but it’s a little more intense. There will be some heaving petting above the waist—touching, grabbing, and rubbing breasts, chest, and nipples.

Now, if you need some visual idea of this, think of it when you’re watching a movie on a couch. You start kissing, and it starts getting a little more intense. More touching, the kissing gets spicier and the breathing gets a tad heavier. That’s second base. [Read: How to make out and 10 steps to make it really awesome]

#3 Third base. Third base is when you and your partner are no longer paying attention to the movie that’s playing on the TV. You guys are completely focused on each other. The petting is heavy and there’s stimulation happening below the waist.

This includes blowjobs and other oral sex techniques. If you’re fondling and feeling the vagina, penis, testicles, or clitoris, well, you’re now at third base. But remember, there is no penetration occurring at this very moment. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to orgasms]

#4 Fourth base/Home run. The big finale. Fourth base is when you’ve gone all the way. You’re now having sexual intercourse. Now, if you were a virgin, this is the moment where you no longer are one. [Read: Losing your virginity and having sex the first time]

More relationship bases and baseball metaphors!

Now, the rest of these aren’t bases, however, they are baseball metaphors that you may hear when talking about sex. Might as well know what they mean before you talk about it.

#5 Strikeout. Now, I don’t really like this term, but you’ll hear, a strikeout. That is when you’re unsuccessful at engaging in foreplay or sex. It makes it sound like you failed at something, but you know that just because you didn’t have sex or hit any of the bases, you didn’t fail.

It just wasn’t the right moment. Trust me, there have been many times when I could have had sex, but it just didn’t work out. Sometimes it was because I drank too much. Or I just didn’t have that connection with someone. [Read: Sex buzzkill – 23 remarks that’ll kill the mood for sex]

#6 Pitching. Pitching is when a man performs anal sex. This usually means he’s performing anal sex on another man. But honestly, this term, though still used, is outdated. I mean, unless you’re the one who’s receiving anal sex, who really cares if he performs anal sex. [Read: How to prepare for anal sex: A beginners’ fantasy guidebook]

#7 Catching. Basically, it’s the opposite of pitching. Instead, this means the man is receiving anal sex from another man.

#8 Switch-hitter. A switch-hitter is someone who is bisexual. It means they ‘bat’ for either team. Are you getting the baseball references now? You’ll hear this term every now and then, so it’s good that you know what it means. If someone identifies themselves as bisexual, then just use that term.

#9 Playing for the other team. Maybe you heard it in movies, “they play for the other team.” If you have, it means this person is either gay or lesbian. Another witty baseball term, but really, I think the LGBTQ community would be cool if you just said gay or lesbian instead.

#10 Playing for both teams. They play for both teams says this person is bisexual. I know, there are a lot of phrases to remember, since switch-hitter basically means the same thing. [Read: Dating a bisexual: 12 things you should never say]

#11 Ask your friends for help. If you forget what each base stands for, don’t be shy to ask your friends for help. It can be a little confusing at first to remember everything for each base. Also, you can ask your partner, so that way you both are on the same page.

#12 Make sure you both want it. Before you two go hitting up bases, make sure you both know that this is what you want. Also, make sure both of you are consenting and understand where the boundaries are. [Read: How I lost my virginity: 15 true stories that aren’t so sexy]

#13 Wear the proper gear. Oh god, I’m getting carried away with all the baseball metaphors. But seriously, if you’re going to be experimenting, make sure you have the proper gear ready. Will you hit a home run right away? Probably not.

But sometimes things happen when we least expect, so you should at least be prepared. And when I mean gear, I mean being prepared with proper contraception whether that be birth control or condoms.

[Read: Sex on the first date: Should you give into the urge?]

Now that we’ve been through all the baseball metaphors for sex, you’re well updated on relationship bases and other baseball terms for having fun under the covers. Have fun and be safe. But remember, you don’t have to touch all the bases in one go.

Liked what you just read? Follow us on Instagram Facebook Twitter Pinterest and we promise, we’ll be your lucky charm to a beautiful love life.

Natasha Ivanovic
Natasha Ivanovic is an intimacy, dating, and relationship writer best known for her writings on Kiiroo, LovePanky, Post Pravda, and more. She's the creator and ...
Follow Natasha on