On Losing Your Virginity to a One-Night Stand

Losing your virginity is one thing, but losing it to a stranger? Here’s all you need to know about losing your virginity to a one nighter.

losing your virginity on a one night stand

As much as we want our first time to be perfect, there’s not much we can do to change the circumstances, once it’s happened. Ideally, we want to lose our virginity to someone we love and trust. However, life doesn’t always allow for us to get exactly what we want.

The main thing is that losing our virginity is always our choice. If anyone thinks that they can take that away from you, run away and ask for help. Situations like that are categorized as coercion or rape. Losing your v-card may or may not be a beautiful thing, but the point is that you are the one who should decide when and where it happens.

If you decide to lose your virginity to a one-night stand, make sure that you’ve thought it through. It may seem exciting and adventurous, but there are risks involved. Not just physical risks, but also mental and emotional ones.

To wait or not to wait?

Before you start commissioning random men to deflower you, take some time to think about why you want it to happen. Are you curious? Is it something that you want to try before a certain age? Are you doing this to get someone’s attention?

There is always a right and wrong reason. Things may not be black and white, but it will be very obvious if your reasons turn out to be sketchy. If you’re doing this for yourself, then you go girl! If you’re using it as some sort of manipulative ploy to get a guy or your parents’ attention, then STOP.

If you’re very young and your partner is the same age, I don’t recommend having sex for pleasurable reasons alone. The fact is that neither of you probably know what you’re doing.

Do you know why a lot of people regret losing their virginity at such a young age? Because it was a waste of time. Sex is supposed to be an amazing and pleasurable experience. Doing it with zero knowledge just makes you sore physically and emotionally.

Your reasons must be in line with the results of what you’re planning. If you think that having sex will make you happy, then go for it. If you are unsure, I suggest that you take a step back and really consider the purpose of this experiment.

What are the risks involved?

Losing your virginity to someone you love is just as scary as losing it to someone you hardly know. The difference is that you are essentially safer with someone you know and trust, because the person you know would be more likely to help you handle the consequences of getting your cherry popped.

Even though sex is inarguably the best thing ever, there are still many risks involved. Aside from STD’s and unplanned pregnancies, you could end up being involved with someone who hurts you physically or emotionally. Knowing these things exist does not prepare you for what could happen. The important thing is that you are ready to face the consequences and are well-prepared to avoid them as much as possible. [Read: 10 worst people you can have a one night stand with]

How to prepare for it?

Once you’ve established that it’s okay to lose your virginity to a stranger, it is not wise for you to just “go with the flow.” No matter how excited you are at the prospect of trying something new, you need to be prepared.

If you think that this is going to be a regular occurrence – which is something that you should really, really think about – go to your doctor and ask them what you need to do to prepare for sex. They might advise you to utilize a specific kind of birth control method like pills, IUD’s and female condoms. Having enough information about these things can go a long way in keeping you safe.

The easiest and most cost-effective safety precaution, however, is using condoms. Always bring your own set. If the ones you brought aren’t compatible with your partner’s package, then I strongly suggest that you postpone the act.

Never, ever, ever let your partner convince you into not using condoms. You are basically putting a foreign object in your orifice. You have no idea where it’s been and you can’t take anything your partner says at face value. It’s a one-night stand. Trust nothing about it. [Read: Dry humping and the virgin’s guide to orgasms]

What happens next?

I won’t go into the specifics of how you can find someone to sleep with. We have other articles that teach you how to do that. The purpose of this section is to discuss the process of having sex for the first time with a stranger.

#1 Should you admit it? Always admit to the person you’re sleeping with that you are a virgin. Even if they’re only in it for sex, some people are still iffy about taking someone’s virginity. For some, it’s a prize. For others, it’s just a whole lot of baggage that they don’t want to get involved with.

This is also for your benefit. Losing your virginity should be a gentle process. If your partner ends up forcing their penis on your unbroken hymen, you could suffer a little soreness at best, and internal hemorrhaging at worst.

#2 CONDOMS. Don’t start anything without making sure that your partner will be wearing a condom. I don’t care if you’re on the most powerful birth control pills or antibiotics on earth. Insist on it. Leave, if your partner refuses to wear one. This is non-negotiable.

#3 How does it start? Any type of sex – especially if it’s a devirginization process – should always be accompanied by foreplay. Read up on how you can get the ball rolling. Even if you’re a virgin, that does not mean that you should be inept at even the simplest activities prior to sex like kissing and other means of foreplay. [Read: First time sex and the virgin’s guide to nailing it]

#4 When does it happen? It happens when you and your partner are both ready. If the foreplay turns out to be really, really good on his end, your body will respond accordingly and you will find yourself wanting to be, for lack for a better term, f**ked.

You and your partner will know without a shadow of a doubt that it is time. Get ready, because it can hurt. Like hell. But it will pass after a few minutes. Don’t worry, because after your hymen breaks and your vagina stretches, everything will go smoothly from then on.

#5 Are you going to get an orgasm? I could say yes, but that’s totally up to you and your partner. If he knows how to give you one, there is a chance that you will get one. If it still hurts, the pain might overshadow the pleasure that you’re supposed to feel.

It’s also better if you’ve achieved an orgasm via clitoral stimulation at some point, whether immediately before this event or long before it, so you’ll know how an orgasm actually feels. Don’t expect too much, because this is your first time. You’ve just gone through the first hurdle. There’s much more to come.

#6 What happens after? Before you engaged in your first sexual encounter, you should have prepared yourself for every possibility. At this point, you should talk to your partner and tell him what you want. Ask him what he wants, as well.

You can decide to keep seeing each other, but it’s possible that one of you won’t want that. Just accept their honest answer and express your own thoughts. This way, you won’t fixate on what happened and can move on with your virginity-less life.

It might not be the most poetic way to lose your virginity, but there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with a stranger just to get it over with. The important thing is that you are making this choice with a clear mind and conscience.

[Read: 10 ways you can stay friends with someone you’ve slept with]

Now that you know what happens when you lose your virginity to a one-night stand, do you think that you’re up for it? Think about it, weigh your options and always know that you can always wait for a better, more appropriate time to engage in sex for the first time.

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Danielle Anne
Those who can’t do, teach. I can neither do nor teach as well as others, but I can try. Aside from being a writer, I am also a physical therapist. My dream is...
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